332. D-liver, D-letter, D-sooner, D-better (deliver the letter, suener is better)
333. Dae...
1. 1 dae at a time...take thangs as em kum, dont werree bout fyucher
2. after a dae werking with others, I need privasee [need tu be alone] (Bill Bruford)
3. better keep yer dae job
[if yu want tu werk for self, or chaenj tu nu tipe av werk,
keep werking at old job tu hav inkum tu liv on]
[also a hint...yu dont hav talent for the nu thang yu wanna du]
4. Dae av infamy...perl harber dae...7 Des 1941, from speech bi Franklin D Roosevelt
5. Dae late and a dollar short
6. Dae without sunshine is like nite
7. dont kount the daes, make the dae kount
8. eet tudae, hav fun, bles god for the dae (Henree W Beecher)
9. evree dae is a nu opportunity (Bob Feller)
dae
10. evreedae we deposit memrees in our kids (Charles Swindol)
11. get up evree dae & du this agin & agin is hard (Charles Manson)
12. go thru eech dae like it is yer last (Syrus)
13. hard dae's nite [muvee titel]
14. I du thangs 1 dae at a time (Darrel Royal)
15. I hav a dae job. I kan make muvees wen I want (Warren Beettee)me at wons
16. I tri tu take 1 dae at a time, but sumtimes several daes attak me at wons
17. I walked outta klass 1 dae & never went bak (Burt Landkaster)
18. if yu dont thank evreedae is good, tri miss 1 (Kavet Robert)
19. if yu wanna get tu the top, yu gotta want tu plae it all dae, evree dae (Monika Seles)
dae
20. in 2 daes, tumorro is yesterdae (in just 2 daes...)
21. look bak on the dae. If yu had lots tu du & did it, it was good (Margaret Thacher)
22. nuther dae, nuther dollar
23. sins dae 1, mi thang has ben tu plae muzik (Zak Wylde)
24. sum dae mi chans will kun (Abe Linkoln)
25. sumdae is not a dae av the week
26. sundae...the dae we wish we was ded & in heven, & the nabers in hell (H L Menchen)
27. the dae is 2 short for the thots I wanna thank (Jon Burroes)
28. wen the dae's werk is dun, its dun (Jon Turturo)
29. won dae I had an idae for a muvee (Jim Mckae)
30. yer daes R numbered=the end is neer=yer gonna die suen=get redee tu meet yer maker
334. Daedreem...
1. alkohol & tubak leed tu freends & daedreems (Luis Bunuel)
2. all thangs pass, but this stae...sit in chaer & stare in the distans (V V Rozanof)
3. daedreem=meel weer yu eet piks (W H Auden)
4. daedreem=sit & watch waves brake on idel seeshore av the mind (Henree W Longfello)
5. daedreem take the plaes av opium (Anais Nin)
b. him dont need opium. Him dreem
6. daedreem wood bekum nitemare if theer was danjer av it kum true (Logan P Smith)
7. evreethang start as a daedreem (Larry Niven)
8. folks gotu church tu daedreem bout god, not tu be preeched tu (Kurt Vonnegut)
9. I get all mi good ideas from daedreems (Paul McKreedy)
10. I liv mi daedreems in muzik (A Einstein)
11. I tried tu daedreem, but mi mind wandered (Steev Rite)
12. many daedreems wood bekum nitemare if em kame true (Logan P Smith)
13. sumtimes I sit in the door in the sun from sunup til noon (Henree D Thoro)
14. tu daedreem, yu gotta be very happy or very nonhappy (Antony Rivarol)
15. TV is automated daedreems (Leo Loevinger)
16. vishun without akt onit=daedreem. Akt without vishun=nitemare (Jap)
17. we go bak tu good old daes in our daedreems (Brian Karter)
18. we hav "good old daes" tuked awae in our harts & retern tu em in daedreems (Brian Karter)
19. wen I was a littel girl I daedreemed mi father wood kum on a
wite hoers & resku me (Kristeen Keller)
335. Dam... (damn in krat speek)
1. Dam riters hu never reed (Churchil)
2. Dam the torpedos, full speed ahed (Farragut, 1863)
3. Dam with faent praes=sho yu dont like him bi sae week good thangs (Joe Addisun, 1735)
4. franklee mi deer, I dont giv a dam (Ret Butler in "gon with the wind")
5. happy folks R on good terms with self & dont giv a dam (Agatha Christee)
6. human effort isnt werth a dam unless yu get results (Ernest Shakelton)
7. its a dam poor mind indeed wich kant thank av at leest 2 waes tu speel a werd (Andru Jaksun)
8. stile...yuno hu yu R, wot yu sae, & dont giv a dam (Gore Vidal)
336. Danjer...(danger in krat speek)
1. a littel nawleedj is danjerus
2. a littel sinser is danjerus, a lot will kill yu (Oskar Wild)
3. banks R more danjerus than standing army (Tom Jeffersun)
4. better tu meet danjer than waet for it (Charles Kolton)
5. beware leest yu luze substans wen yu reech for shado (Aesop, 600bc)
6. big profit=big risk
7. biggest danjer=sinseer ignorant + konsheenshus dum (Martin L King)
8. biggest danjer is aem 2 loe (Michelangelo)
9. biggest danjer is tu plae it 2 safe (Alfred Ader)
danjer
10. buffalo is not danjerus. Many more R killed bi kar akseedents than
buffalo charj (Art Bushwald)
11. danjer and delite gro on same stalk (branch, tree) (Aleyn)
rose stem hav flower & priks
12. danjer bring feer wich is more danjerus (Richard Baxter, 1660)
13. danjer level man & beest (lord Bryon)
14. danjers yu despies gro bigger (Ed Burk)
15. danjerus tu put tung in geer b4 braen (C C Felps)
16. danjerus tu speek a truth b4 its time (Greek)
17. danjerus tu tri tu jump over kanyun in 2 jumps (Loyd Jorj)
18. dont be afraed av terrer at nite or arro bi dae (Bibel)
19. dont tern yer bak on danjer, dont run from it (Ralf W Emersun)
danjer
20. evree man is his baddest enemee (Anacharis, 600bc)
21. evreethang is danjeres, so dont be skared (Gertrude Stein)
22. extreemists R danjerus kauz em dont tolerate (JFK)
23. faes danjer, dont flinch & yu kut it in half (Churchil)
24. feer av evil put many in danjer (F L Lukan, 60 ad)
25. fools & wise R prediktabel. Most danjer in half-fool & half-wise (Jon vonGoeth)
26. forsee danjer=half avoid it (Tom Fuller)
27. I am kompelled tu faes danjer, never feer.
Soldyers stand & fite, I stand & ners (Klara Barton)
28. if yer outta trubel, watch for danjer (Sofosees)
29. if yu kant banish danjer, banish feer (David Surnoff, 1960)
danjer
30. if yu talk bout the danjer av snake poisoning, yu gotta menshun snakes (C E Koop)
31. it is dangerus tu be rite wen guvt (krats) is rong (Voltaer)
b. wen established authority is rong (krat translate from French)
32. it is dangerus tu be sinseer unless yer dum (Jorj B Shaw)
33. kommon danjer yunite bitter foes (Aristotel)
34. man hu stand, take heed or fall (Bibel)
35. more danjerus tu run (W Churchil)
36. more feer=kloeser tu danjer (Dane)
37. most dangerus=resoersful idiot (Skot Adams)
38. most dangerus fraze..."we alwaed dun it that wae" (Graes Hopper)
39. most dangerus predater noed tu man is...woman (Kameron Koo)
danjer
40. nonpolitikal is danjerus. Yu gotta du offis politiks tu survive (Jeen Holland)
41. optimist see oppertunity in evree danjer
pesimist see danjer in evree oppertunity (W Churchil)
42. outta debt, outta danjer
43. prinses & guvernments R the danjerus part av society (Nik Machianelli)
44. Relijun is the most danjerus foers in the werld (Jorj Harkness)
45. so a littel nawleedj is danjerus,
how much du we need tuno tu be outta danjer? (T H Huxlee)
46. thanking men R danjerus (Shakespeer)
47. The danjer av puters is not that em get smarter, but that we get dummer (Bernard Avishi)
48. The danjer is...we wont du nuthan (Adolf Monod)
49. The timid R afraed av danjer, the koward in danjer,
the kerraejus after danjer (Jon Paul Richter)
danjer
50. theer is danjer for em hu R afraed (Jorj B Shaw)
51. Tu avoid danjer, renouns advencher, but then yu R not man (Rene Dubois)
52. Tu hav fun, liv danjerus (Fred Nietzshe)
53. wen yu giv advies, see the danjers
wen yu akt, ignore danjer (Fransis Bakon)
54. wise man in a storm dont prae for safetee from danjer,
rather deliver from feer (Ralf W Emersun)
55. with life kum danjer (Ralf W Emersun)
337. Dans... (dance in krat speek)
1. athleet kan dans, artist kan be danser
2. bodees dont lie (Agnes DeMill)
3. Dans=uprite express av horizontal dezire
4. Dans first, thank later (Sam Bekket)
5. Dans is a poem, eech muvement a werd (Mata Hari)
6. Dans is a shortkut tu heven (Viki Baum)
7. Dans is a wae av life
8. Dans is dreem with yer feet (Kontanz)
9. Dans is good traening for girls...lern tu ges wot mem will du (Christofer Morlee)
dans
10. Dans is madness, but good (Edwin Denbi)
11. Dans is the lingo av the sole (Martha Graham)
12. Dans is the song av the body (Martha Graham)
13. Dans is the storehous & nursery av bastards (Jon Northbrook)
14. Dans is the werld's favorit metafor (Kristy Nilson)
15. Dans like nowon watch
16. Dans NE-weer, even if oenlee in yer hart
17. Dans reveel the mistree muzik hide (Charles Baudelaer)
18. Dans til yu drop (W H Auden)
19. Dans with feet is 1 thang, dans with hart anuther
dans
20. Dans with the won that brot yu
21. Dansers=athleets av god (A Einstein)
22. Dansers R instrument like piano (Jorj Balachine)
23. Ginger Rogers did evreethand Fred Astaer did, bakwards in hi heels
24. gotta be athleet tu dans, artis tu be danser
25. if ballae was eezee, evreewon wood duit
26. if dans was eezeeer, it wood be football
27. if yu dont dans, yer ded (Dans Karavan)
28. life is a dans from 1 staej tu the next
29. no sane man dans (Cicero)
dans
30. on with the dans, no limit (Lord Bryon)
31. shortkut tu happy...dans is 1 (Vikky Baum)
32. thank god yu kan dans & remember em hu kant walk
33. the plaes tu dans is in yer hart (Tom Robbin)
34. we dans for laff, teers, mad, feer, hope, skreem. We make dreems.
35. we R all fools NE-wae, so dans & sho it
36. yu kan dans NE-weer, ever if oenlee in yer hart
338. Dare...
1. Better tu dare mitee thangs, even if yu fael (Theodor Roosevelt)
2. Dare nuthang=hope for nuthang (Jon Shiller)
3. Dare tu be onest & dont be afraed tu werk (Robert Berns)
4. Dare tu be self. If that dont make yu different, sumthang rong with yu
5. Diktaters ride tu & fro on tigers & dont dare get off (W Churchil)
6. Em hu dont dare reesun R slaves (Lord Byron)
b.Em hu wont ressun R bigots. Em hu kant R fools. Eu hu dont dare R slaves.
7. for treesun tu thrive, nun must dare tu kall it treesun (Jon Harington)
8. fyucher belong tu em hu dare
9. go & dare b4 yu die (Jon vonGoethe)
dare
10. how dare NE-1 tell me tu not akt kolered (Arna Bontempts)
11. I dare tu du all that bekum man. Hu dare more? (Shakespeer)
12. I dare yu tu kall me that
13. I did it on a dare (Jane Birkin)
14. I dont dare drink b4 a gig kauz I'll get tired & blo it (Jon Bonham)
15. I dont let em koff. Em woodnt dare (Ethyl Barymore)
16. I speek the truth as much as I dare.
As I gro old, I dare more (Mike de Montaigne)
17. if yu wanna liv, yu gotta werk & dare (Visent van Go)
18. its hard kauz we dont dare tri (Seneka)
19. it is time tu dare & endure (W Churchil)
dare
20. luv me if yu dare
21. most never dare tu tri (Mary Kae)
22. nowon dare kritize the garbage that kum outta puters (Rory Bremner)
23. O wot men dare du.
Wot men mae du
wot men du du
& dont no wot em du (Shakespeer, Much adu bout nuthang)
24. sin=dare god's justis (Jon Bunyan)
25. this is a time tu dare & endure (W Churchil)
26. tu dare, yu mae luze yer footing. Dont dare & yu luze self.
27. tu liv, yu gotta dare (Voltaer)
28. we must dare & dare agin & keep daring (Jorj J Danton)
29. we no longer dare tu beleev in byutee (Hans von Balthasar)
30. wen all is dark, dare tu be the first tu shine lite
339. Dark...
1. character is wot yu R in the dark (Dwite L Moody)
2. Dark hoers kanadate=dont hav a chans unless maen kontenders dedlok
Brit vershun=sumwon nowon no, yu thank him hav a good chans
3. Darker than the inside av a kow
4. evreewon is a moon & hav a dark side (Mark Twaen)
5. for evree dark nite, theer is brite dae
6. hope is faeth that hold out its hand in the dark (Jorj Iles)
7. hope start in the dark (An Lamot)
8. hu is more fool?...kid afraed av the dark
or adult afraed tu sho faes bi dae (Marees Freehill)
9. I see the dark side. The glas is half empty & kraked,
& I kut mi lip onit, & chipped a tooth (Jane Garofalo)
dark
10. if the hole werld was dark, yu woodnt no kauz yu woodnt hav ies (C L Luis)
11. if yer afraed av the dark, remember theer is lite (David M Klik)
12. its dark at the foot av a litehous (Jap)
13. mae yu hav a full moon on dark nites & smooth roed all the wae home (Irish)
14. men R like grapes. Yu gotta stomp on em & keep em in the dark,
til em mello intu sumthang yuzeful (Kathleen Mifsud)
15. no matter how dark the nite, the sun alwaes kum up
16. shin...devies tu find thangs in the dark
17. we R all afraed av sum thangs...the dark, make speech,
"sum assemblee required" (Dave Barry)
18. wen all is dark, dare tu be the first tu shine lite
19. wether forkast for tunite...dark (Jork Karlin)
dark
20. yuno the speed av lite, so wotz the speed av dark?
340. Date...
1. 11 Sep mae seem portant tu sum, for others its just anuther date (J M Coetze)
2. Christmas is not a date, its a state av mind (Mary Ellen Chase)
3. dont put NE-thang on mi toomstone, not even birth date or die date (Isaak But)
4. for a war korrespondent tu miss the invashun wood be like
tu refuze tu date Lana Turner (Robert Kapa)
5. Matt & me set a date...gonna wed on nu yeers dae (Ben Afflek)
6. NE-thang as good & true as that moral kant be noed
at this late date (Richard H Davis)
7. The opening date was 5 Des 1941, then the Japs bombed Perl harber.
Ruined mi hopes for theater. (Leon Askin)
8. this offer was different...it had a start date (Adam Arkin)
9. tu keep up tu date, I chek x-men & spider man (Shawn Ashmore)
10. yuno yer life is sad wen yu remember the relees date av CD's (Heston Blumenthal)
341. Date, faemus, portant... (famous dates in krat speek)
Date
1. 0 birth av krist (modern estimates range from 4 bc tu 7 ad)
2. 250 franks & goths invade Roman Empire
3. 350 Huns muve intu Yerrop
4. 422 Attilda the Hun ravage Romans
5. 450 Vandals destroy Rome
6. 716 Arab empire from Lisbon tu China
7. 800 Charlemagne yunite much av Yerrop
8. 850 Vikings (Northmen) start ravaging Yerrop
9. 1000 Lief Erikson find Labador=North Amerika
portant dates
10. 1054 Christians divide tween West (Roman) & Eest (Orthodox)
11. 1066=Battel av Haestings...
Normands under William defeet Harold & take over England
12. 1095 Pope Urban 2 kall for Krusade tu kik muslums outta Holy Lands in Mid Eest
13. 1211 Genghis Kan invade China
14. 1231 Pope Gregory 9 start the Inquisishun
15. 1241 Mongols max west=middel av Poland
16. 1271 Marko Polo gotu China
17. 1325 Renaissans start in Italy
18. 1350 Blak Plaeg sweep thru Yerrop, bout 25 milyun die
19. 1453 Turks take Konstannopel, start Ottoman Empire
portant dates
20. 1455 Gutenberg invent muvabel tipe & yuze it tu print a bibel
21. 1492 Kolumbus found Amerika
22. 1497 Vasko deGama find Kape at south end av Afrika & keeped going
23. 1517 Martin Luther denouns Katholiks,
start Reformation [reform]=protestants [protest]
24. 1543 Nik Kopernicus "Revolushun av Hevenlee Bodees" sae erth go round sun
25. 1582 modern kalandar (Gregorian) replaes Roman (Julian) kalander
26. 1588 English defeet the Spaen Armada
27. 1607 Jamestown, Virjinya=first permanent English town in Amerika
28. 1610 Galileo see 4 moons orbit round Jupiter
29. 1633 Inquisition foers Galileo tu sae Unkel
portant dates
30. 1664 Nueton start werk on gravity
31. 1729 sumwon translated Nuetons laws intu English (from Latin)
32. 1732 Ben Franklin start "Poor Richard's Alamak"
33. 1755 Sam Jonsun make first Dikshunary
34. 1775 Amerikan Revolushunary War start at Lexington & Konkord, Mass
35. 1776 Declare Independans
36. 1787 Konstitution sined=start av US
37. 1789 French Revolution
38. 6 Mar 1836...alamo
39. 1861 start av Sivil War
portant dates
40. 1879 Edisun invent praktakal elektrik lite bulb
41. Des 1903 Rite brothers fli aerplane
42. 1914-1918 WW1
43. 1929-1933 Grate Depreshun
44. 1939-1945 WW2, A-bomb
45. 20 July 1969, man on the moon (Armstrong)
342. Dating... [boy & girl date]
1. after many kisses, miss bekum misses (Jon Lennon)
2. attraked is not a chois (David DeAngelo)
3. best wae tu find perfekt match...meet it half wae
4. bisexuals hav 2 times as many dates (Woody Allen)
5. date fello werkers. Dont hafta pik em up & its tax deduktabel (Andy Warho)
6. dont kri for the man hu left yu,
the next won will fall for yer smile (Mae West)
7. du yu beleev in puter dating?
Oenlee if the puters R reelee in luv (Grosho Marx)
8. good thang bout internet dating...yer shuer tu klik with huever yu date
9. how many av yu date kauz yer tu lazy tu kill self? (Judy Tenuta)
dating
10. I ben on so many blind dates, I shood get a free seeing-ie dog (Wendy Liebman)
11. I dated a girl & rite awae the nagging started,
thangs like "I wanna no yer name" (Mikee Binder)
12. I dated a homeless woman...eezeeer tu talk her intu stae over (Gar Shanding)
13. I dont hav luk on dates. I asked her if her brot protekshun
& her pulled a switchblade on me (Skot Roeben)
14. I hate parties wen I dont no NE-1 sept mi supposed date
& him abandon me at the door (Mary H Klark)
15. I hav a lotta dates, but desided tu die mi iebrows insted (Andy Warho)
16. I havnt had a date in a yeer, must be duing sumthang rong (Yasmine Bleeth)
17. I never dated Elvis kauz I wanted a relashunship (Jakkee DeShannon)
18. I terrifi men, em dont dare ask me for a date (Glen Klose)
19. I woodnt date a seleb. I'd rather date a reel woman (Kasper vanDien)
dating
20. if yu kiss on the first date, theer wont be a 2nd date (Jennifer Lopez)
21. I'm cute & nowon wanna date me (Kelly Klarkson)
22. I'm for puter dating, but dont want mi dotter tu wed 1
23. I'm lazy, I date pregnant wemen (Ronny Richards)
24. it seem like I oenlee date stewardesses
wemen alwaes sho me the exit (Skot Roeben)
25. it take half as long tu get over him as yu dated him (Sex & the sitee)
26. mi grandmother is 90 & dating a man av 93.
It go grate...em kant heer eech other (Kathern Ladman)
27. never date a girl huz fater kall her preshus.
28. nuthang is as embarassing as first date...yu dont no wot tu sae.
sept for the last date, wen evreethang ben sed
29. puter dating is terrifik, if yer a puter (Rita Mae Brown)
dating
30. puter dating kan save a lotta gessing. So kan a bikini (Ed Parish)
31. save 1 boyfreend for a raeny dae, & anuther in kaes it dont raen (Mae West)
32. see yer dotter go on a date is like hand priesless violen tu gorrila (Jim Bishup)
33. sleep with a gie 1 time, & the next thang him wanna take yu out (Mires Yore)
34. wemen date me tu advans theer werklive...dam anthropologists (Emo Filips)
35. wen I date a gie, I ask self
"is this a man I want tu plae with mi kids?" (Rita Ruchner)
36. wen I wanna date, him sae...lets just be freends
37. wen I want a good meel, I go on a date (Susan Heely)
38. wotz the purpus av a date? I no rite off if I like a fello.
wi waest time? (Britnee Speers)
39. yuno, I dont no. I just wanna date sumwon hu make me happy (Caprees Bourret)
343. Davee Jones Lokker=see bottom. "Davee Jones"=see spirit
sunk ships gotu davee jones lokker=bottom av see
344. David & Goliath...fite tween week & powerful. Most ruet for the underdog.
345. dawn... (sunup)
1. be brave tudae, darkest nite pass, dawn=tumorro (Sara N Bolton)
2. darkest our is just b4 dawn (Proverbs)
3. Dawn is resurrekshun (Vikter Hugo)
4. Dawn is the freend av muses
5. Dawn is wen reesunabel men gotu bed (Ambrose Beers)
6. dont no wen dawn will kum, so I open all doors (Emily Dikkensun)
7. go tu bed erlee or late, I rise with the sun (Tom jeffersun)
8. hope start in the dark,
tri tu du rite, dawn will kum, dont giv up (Anne Lammot)
9. in the fresh morn, B4 NE-1 awake, time av perfekt happy (Cecilia Thaxter)
10. luv is the dawn av maeraej, maeraej is the sunset av luv (French)
11. morn steel on the nite, melt the dark (Shakespeer)
12. neerer tu dawn, the darker the nite (Longswerth)
13. the breez at dawn hav sekrets for yu (Rumi)
14. tu reech the dawn, yu gotta take the nite path
15. we R humbugs, pretend tu liv for byutee, never see the dawn (Logan P Smith)
346. dazeez... (disease in krat speek)
1. all dazeezes bekum 1...old aej (Ralf W Emersun)
2. bad dazeez ...be nobody tu NE-body (Mother Teresa)
3. baddest dazeez...feel unwanted (Mother Teresa)
4. baddest dazeez is in the hed (Pliny juenyer)
5. biggest Amerikan dazeez...finanshal ruin (Roul Turlee)
6. bitter dazeez teech yu how sweet is helth
7. bout dazeez...tri tu help, or at leest dont make em sikker (Hippokrates)
8. dazeez is more portant than soldyers & statemen tu shape histree
9. dazeez is ruthless power that wither byutee's short flower (Oliver Goldsmith)
dazeez
10. dazeez kum fast, go slo (Chineez)
11. dazeez start wot deth kompleet (Sam Jonson)
12. dazeezed sole is more danjerus & more kommon than dazeezed body (Cicero)
13. deth kyuer all dazeezes (Tom Brown)
14. deth take the good & leev the ded behind
15. dokters lern dazeez, not helth (Ashlee Montaqu)
16. dont hide yer dazeez from the dokter
17. evreethang that was a sin is now a dazeez (Bill Maeher)
18. extreem dazeez need extreem kyuer (Hippokrates)
19. feer the dokter more than the dazeez (French)
dazeez
20. folks hu R not sik mae not be well (Brian Karter)
21. ginst most dazeez, abstinens is best defens (Robert Herrik)
22. good nuz...I get a dazeez named aft me (Steev Martin)
23. happy folk resist dazeez better than glum
thus, the serlee bird katch the germ.
24. if yer dazeez is intregrity, the werld kall yu skitzo (Karl Witaker)
25. imajinary ill is badder than reel dazeez (Yiddish)
26. jelus is a dazeez (Robert Heimline)
27. life is a nonkerabel dazeez (Abe Kowlee)
28. life is a sex-transmitted dazeez with 100% deth rate(R. D. Laing)
29. man is a prolifik soers av dazeez (Ed Jenner)
b. man is the biggest soers av dazeez
dazeez
30. mind dazeez...lak av faeth (Ralf W Emersun)
31. modern life is a straenj dazeez (Mathyu Arnold)
32. more die from the kyuer than the dazeez (Jeen B Moleere)
33. purpus av medasin is prevent dazeez, redues paen, delae deth (Joe J Nobel)
34. remadee is badder than the dazeez (Fransis Bakon)
35. remember, the man is the paeshent, not the dazeez (Will W Gull)
36. sik suen lern em liv in dif werld (Jes West)
37. sterilizashun shood be limited tu mental defektivs (Bertrand Russel)
38. sum remedees R badder than the dazeez (Publilius Syrus)
39. thank is a dazeez hard tu get. Dum make yu immune (Oskar Wild, 1900)
dazeez
40. the dazeez that inflikt all krats is ruteen (Jon Mill, 1850)
41. the longer the list av remedees, the badder the dazeez (Alonzo Klark)
42. time kyuer all dazeezes (Ben Franklin)
43. tu prevent dazeez, chaenj how yu liv (Brian Karter)
44. War is a dazeez, like tifus (Antoin Saent-Exupery, 1940)
45. War is a simpton, not the dazeez (L M Herox)
46. Wen em suggest a lotta remadees, nun werk (Anton Chekhov)
47. Wit without a job is a dazeez (Richard Burton)
48. yueth is a dazeez, most get over it (or rekuver from it)(Dorthy Fulheim)
347. de-bill-a-tate...seprate the bills from the junk mael
348. debt...
1. b4 yu borro munee from a freend, deside wich yu need more (Joe More)
2. better tu gotu bed hungree than tu wake up in debt
3. bi wot yu dont need & suen yu gotta sell wot yu du need (Ben Franklin)
4. blessed R the yung, for em will inherit the naeshunal debt (Herver Hoover)
5. debt...injeenyus substitute for chaen & wip (Ambrose Beers, 1911)
6. debt is the baddest povertee (Tom Fuller)
7. dont run intu debt if yukan (avoid it)
8. dont speek av mi debts, less yu plan tu pae em
find sumthang els tu run intu (Josh Billings, 1870)
9. him look the werld in the faes kauz him dont oe NE-won (Henree W Longfello)
debt
10. hu go a borroing, go a sorroing (Tom Tusser)
11. hu kan member wen folks did without if kant afford it? (Kin Hubbard)
12. I dont mind run intu debt, run intu krediters I hate.
13. is theer no wae tu revers the trend
that keep kuntree swamped in debt?
Eech yeer we lend & spend
munee not printed yet. (Mae Richstone)
14. kredit is like drink...buzz first, hangover after (Jois Brothes)
15. kredit is not as good as munee (E W How)
16. krediter hav gooder memree than borroer [debter] (Ben Franklin)
17. krediter stik kloesest [1 hu loned yu munee]
18. Kristmas...bi this yeers gifts with next yeers munee
19. most Amerikans feel tu liv in yer inkum is fate badder than debt
debt
20. run intu debt dont hert. Run intu krediters hert.
21. outta debt, outta danger
22. The 1 hu stik kloest tu yu in adversitee is the debt kollekter
23. Theer werld is bankrupt. The werld oe
the werld more than it kan pae. (Ralf W Emersun, 1870)
24. wen in debt or in luv, sumwon els hav the advantaej (Bill Balans)
25. wen the meek inherit the erth, the debt will keep em that wae
26. wen we look at the publik debt, we must assume prosterity will alwaes werk
27. werds dont pae debts (Shakespeer)
28. yu hu charj tu bi hat is in debt-over-eers
349. ded... (dead in krat speek)
1. apprentis mortishun? Du em praktis on the living? (Groucho Marx)
2. ded as a dodo
3. ded as a doornob (doornael)
aent no such thang as a doornael
vaereeus plaeses tri tu splaen weer this kame from bi klaem
"doornael" is variashun in name for part av doornob or nokker
4. ded duk=werthless "dont waest powder on a ded duk"
5. ded in the water...from saeling ships that kant muve wen no wind
modern times...engin ded, in war...ship hert so bad, it kant go
6. ded klok is rite 2 times a dae
7. ded men dont bite (Plutarch, 80ad)
8. ded men dont win (Euripdes, 410 bc)
9. ded men dont pae a bribe (Ben Franklin)
ded
10. ded men dont tell tales (J Wilson, 1664)
b. ded men tell no tales
11. ded pae all debts (Shakespeer)
12. ded ringer=look like sumwon (kood be twin)
ringer=fake koin
13. ded see fruet=look werthee, but wen get it, it tern tu dust
14. ded tu the werld=asleep (deep sleep)
15. deder than a doornob
16. deder than a mackerel
17. eether hes ded, or mi watch stopped (Groucho Marx)
18. em sae such nies thangs at frunerals. 2 bad I'll miss it at mine (Garrison Kieler)
19. hu want flowers wen em R ded? (J D Salinger, 1945)
ded
20. let the ded burree the ded (Mathyu 8)
b. let the ded past bury its ded
21. the ded kant kri for justis, the living gotta duit (luis Bujold)
22. tu put yer faes on a stamp, yu gotta be ded.
Thus I suggest yu drop ded (James Dae, postmaster Jenral)
23. wen the game is over, king & pawn end up in the same box (Italian)
24. yu see, I sed me is sik
350. Dedline... (accomplishment or "achievements" in krat speek)
1. I luv dedlines...the wooshing sound as em wiz bi (Doug Adam)
350. Deed... ("accomplishment" or "achievements" in krat speek)
1. best tu du good deed on the sli
& hav it found bi akseedent (Charles Lamb, 1800)
2. deed=fruet, werds=leefs (England)
3. deeds R how yu judj a man
4. good deed is never lost
5. good deed speek for self, dont need horn
6. gratest deed is tu be self in a werld that
keep triing tu chaenj yu(Ralf Waldo Emersun)
7. it is a good deed tu sae a kind werd, but werds dont make a deed (Shakespeer)
8. lavish with werds=cheep with deeds (Sir Walter Rawlee, 1600)
9. no good deed go unpunished
10. silens fools with good deeds
11. small deed is gooder than grate intent
b. small good deed is better than grand plans
c. small deeds dun R better than big deeds planned (Peter Marshal)
12. we wood be ashamed av our good deeds if folks noed wi we did em (Rochfoukald, 1665)
13. wen deeds speek, werds R nuthang (Afrika)
351. Deel with others faults like yer oen (China)
352. Deep...
1. Deep as a well
2. Deep wuend leev skar (Lord Bryon)
3. Deeper than the deep blue see
4. Deeper than the Pasifik
353. Deer...
1. Deer Jon letter...girl rite tu (luver or husband) hu is awae & sae its off
kommon in WW2...soldyer off at war get letter from home..bi-bi
354. defeet...
1. defeeted is temp. Giv up is permanent (Robert Shuler)
2. yer not defeeted til yu admit it (Josefus Daniels)
355. deja...
1. deja moo: feel like yu herd this bull b4
2. deja-q : Startrek 2...episode bout "Q"...banned from the Q's
3. deja vu all over agin (Yogi Berra)
356. delude...
1. the deluded R full av absolutes. Rest av us liv with ambiguus (Walter Aristoi)
357. Demokrasee... (democracy in krat speek)
1. Amerikans will kross the see tu fite for demokrasee.
wont kross the street tu vote (Bill Vaugham)
2. Best argument gaenst demokrasee
is talk 5 minuts with an averaej voter (W. Churchil)
3. Both partees tri tu pruve the other is not fit tu rule
Both sukseed & both R rite. (H. L. Menken)
4. demokrasee...evreewon hav equal chans tu du dum thangs (Art Spander)
5. demokrasee...folks chuez hu tu get the blame (Larens J Peter)
6. demokrasee...jakasses hu worship jakkels (H L Menchen, 1950)
7. demokrasee...we get the guvt we deserv (Jorj B Shaw, 1905)
8. demokrasee...yu get tu sae wot yu thank, even if yu dont thank
9. demokrasee...yu hav a chois. Diktater...yu get the chois (Jeen Lukzak)
demokrasee
10. demokrasee...yu kant kill the guvt bi kill em hu run it (Woodrow Wilsun, 1900)
11. demokrasee=2 wolfs & 1 lamb vote on wot tu hav for lunch
liberty=1 well-armed lamb kontest the vote (Ben Franklin)
12. demokrasee=equal opportunity, not equal results (Irving Kristol)
b. not equal kondishuns
13. demokrasee=guvt bi talk.
Tu get NE-thang dun, yu gotta stop the gab (Clement Atlee)
14. demokrasee=sae wot yu like, du wot yer told (Dave Barry)
15. demokrasee alwaes kill self (Jon Adams)
16. demokrasee elekt the nonkompatent insted av appoint the korrupt (Jorj B Shaw, 1905)
17. demokrasee giv man the rite tu opress self (James R Lowel)
18. demokrasee is a suspishun that half the folks R rite half the time (E B Wite)
19. demokrasee is based on libertee (Aristotel)
demokrasee
20. demokrasee is idiotik & thus amusing, so I like it (H L Menchen, 1950)
21. demokrasee is like a raft.
It wont sink, but yer feet will alwaes be wet (Russel B Long)
22. demokrasee is not weer yu hang yer hat. Its sumthang yu du (Abby Hoffman)
23. demokrasee is peepl bludgeon peepl for peepl bi peepl (Oskar Wild)
24. demokrasee is wen the poor rule insted av the rich (Aristotel)
25. demokrasee will die av apathy (Robert M Hutchins, 1954)
26. demokrasee wont last. It end wen majority
vote self largess from the publik pers (Alex Tytler)
27. freedon=folks kan speek. Demokrasee=guvt listen (Alastqer Farrugia)
28. giv evree man the vote...dont make him wise (H L Menken)
29. guvt av the folks, bi the folks, & for the folks (Abe Linkoln)
demokrasee
30. how kum we selekt pres from mung 2 kanidates, byutee queen from 50?
31. I wood not be a slave, I wood not be a master (Abe Linkoln)
32. if yu tern yer bak on the fires,
yu bern yer bakside & gotta sit on yer blisters (Abe Linkoln)
33. is a devise tu make shure we R governed as we dezerv (Jorj Benard Shaw)
34. is the baddest form av govern, sept for evrethang else(Winston Churchil)
35. its faes is teeranee, its figger is deformatee (Alexander Hamilton)
36. kant hav 5 wolves for evree 1 sheep in the vote booth (Robert L Heilbroner)
37. most av the time the majority is rong (Eugeen Debs, 1900)
38. yer vote kount. In Fudalism, yer kount vote (morgan Jallberg)
39. yu chuez yer diktater aft em tell yu wot yu wanna heer (Alan Koren)
demokrasee
40. yu elekt the best man tu pik yer pokket (Ben Lichtenberg)
41. yu gotta hav kritisize and disent (Henree Kommager)
42. yu kan sae wot yu thank, even if yu dont thank
358. demokrat...
1. 10 demokrats=20 pinyuns (Pat Leehee)
2. tu demokrats, smaller rate av inkreez is a kut (Brues Bartlet)
359. den av theefs
360. de-nile is not just a river in Egypt (Mark Twain)
361. dentist... (dental in krat speek)
1. dentist:wot tipe filling du yu want in the tooth?
boy:choklat
2. dentist...put metal in yer mouth, pull munee outta yer pokket (Ambrose Beers)
b. pull koins outta yer pokket
3. dentist alwaes look down-n-the mouth (Jorj Prentis)
4. man luze illushuns first, teeth sekond, follees last (Helen Roeland)
5. man with toothake thank evreewon happee hav good teeth (Jorj B Shaw)
6. never was filosofer that kan endure toothake
(shakespeer, Much adu bout nuthang)
7. sum torcher is fizikal, sum mental
for both, go dental (Ogden Nash)
8. tooth dekae...mouthful av silver for paeshents,
pokketful av gold for dentist (Klaudia Wallis)
9. yu dont hafta brush yer teeth
just the wons yu wanna keep
362. Depend...
1. Depend on others & yu go hungree
2. Depend on yer kid & yer blind in 1 ie.
depend on stranjer & yer blind in both ies.
363. Dependabel...
1. Dependable as a mule
2. Dependabel as a spring flood
364. Depressed...
1. depressed...mad without enthusiasm
2. first step tu depressed is luze interest (Nik Kage)
3. he was so depressed, him tried tu inhale next tu a Armenian (Woddy Allen)
4. I'm oenlee depressed wen me thank (Ashlee Brite)
5. tu rite good fikshun, yu gotta be depressed (Kurt Vonnegut)
6. wen wemen get depressed, em eet or shop. Men start a fite (Elaen Boosler)
7. wen yer depressed, chaenj yer attitude (Franko Harris)
8. wen yer depressed, smile...its the first half-step tu rekuver (Alan Klein)
9. wen yer depressed with kares, it disappeer wen woman appeer (Jon Gae)
364. Depression..
1. its so bad, the food store hav a rekuvery room
2. wi didnt em hav this depresshun wen I had a job?
365. Derring-du=daring
366. Deseev...("deceive" in superkrat)
1. Appeeranses oft deseev (Aesop, 550bc)
2. better tu be deseeved or rong than tu distrust (Stark Yung)
3. deseev, but dont insult (Jap)
4. eezeest tu deseev self (Ed Litton, 1870)
5. ethikal ads yuze truth tu deseev the publik
nonethikal ads yuze fawls tu deseev the publik (Viljalmar Stefansun)
6. guvt=rule & deseev (Ben Disraeli)
7. looks kan deseev
8. many deseev self bi thank a chaenj will make em happy (Tom Kepis, 1440)
9. Nashunalism=hunger for power & feed bi self-deseev (Jorj Orwell, 1935)
10. O wot a tangeled web we weev wen we tri tu deseev.(Sir Walter Skot, 1800)
b. wot a tangled web we weev, wen we first tri tu deseev
11. surfus looks deseev many (Faedrus, 40ad)
12. wen yu kant deseev self, littel chans yukan deseev others (Mark Twain)
367. Desert...(very dri land)
see also...de-zert
1. Amerikans admire sumwon hu skratch a desert & make a garden (Richard M Nixon)
2. better tu liv in desert than with quarrelsum wife (Bible)
3. desert is not oenlee a farawae plaes with littel raen.
Theer R many tipes av thirst (Will Lang)
4. feelds av daezees, dusty feelds, desert stretches. Memree av ski & erth.
many daes, many nites av stars (Ann M Lindberg)
5. fenix hope wing her wae thru desert (Cervantes)
6. I need yu like the desert need the raen
7. I saw a naked beest in the desert [many more werds] (Steev Krane)
8. I skare self with mi desert paleses (Robert Frost)
9. ideas R like stars...yu kant tuch em
but em gide yu thru desert sees (Karl Schultz)
desert
10. if yer braen is not kleen, its a desert waest (Sri Baba)
11. if yu ask wot yu kan du for kuntree, yu R oasis in desert (Kahlil Gibran)
12. if yu put the fed guvt in charj av the Sahara desert,
in 5 yrs, yu will run outta sand (Milton Freedman)
13. life without freends is like a desert Iland (Baltsar Grasian)
14. mi bitch ginst Moses...40 yeers in the desert &
him found the oenlee spot without oil (Golda Mier)
15. nawledj is a miraj in a desert av xpanding ignorans (Will Durant)
16. Romans made a desert & kall it pees (Takitus)
17. sumtimes wen I drive kross the desert at nite,
I thank the werld is empty...no man, & nuthang man-made (Jak Handy)
18. sunshine all the time=desert (Arab)
19. the see is an ee-mens desert weer man is never lonely (Jules Vern)
20. tu want it is like be in biggest sitee & as alone as in a desert (Fred Nietzche)
desert
21. wot make the desert byuteeful is sumtimes yu find a well (Tony Saent-exupery)
368. Deside... (decisions in krat speek)
see also...chois
1. 90% av polatiks is... deside hu tu blame (Meg Greenfeeld)
2. b4 yu borro munee from a freend, deside wich yu need more (Joe More)
3. base yer life on prinsapels & 99% av yer desides R dun
4. chois is the hinj av destiny (Ed Markham)
5. deside wot yu reelly want,
dont chase butterflies wen yu want gold (Will M Marston)
6. dont deside til yu heer both sides (Phocylides)
7. dreems tell wot yu want, akshun deside wot yu get
8. even wen yudu nuthang, that iza deside (Garee Kolins)
9. exekutiv abilitee...him fast tu deside hu tu make du the werk (Jon Polland)
deside
10. fish or kut baet (deside, du sumthang)
11. girl: shood I gotu palmist or mind-reeder?
freend: gotu palmist, yu hav a palm
12. good desides kum from speereens; speereens kum from bad desides.
13. guvt...wise men speek, fools deside (Jorj Santayana)
14. guvt is a paradox. It deside tu never deside.
15. hardest tu lern...which bridj tu kros & which tu bern (David Russel)
16. if yu dontno weer yu wanna go, no wind will blo yer wae (Seneka)
17. jury=12 chuzed tu deside hu hav the best lawyer
18. kant deside oft look like paeshens
b.kant deside is oft mistook for paeshens
c.kant deside is oft passed off as paeshens
19. life is the sum av wot yu chuez (Albert Kamus)
deside
20. Pinyun help yu deside without data (Jon Erskine, 1930)
21. politiks...get the fakts after yu deside
22. rekonsider=seek tu justifi wot yu desided (Ambrose Beers)
b. konsult=seek approval for wot yu desided
23. seek advise, but deside for self
24. step 1=deside wot yu want (Ben Stein)
25. sum R very desisiv wen it kum tu avoid deside (Brendan Fransis)
26. thank a lot, deside 1 time(Latin)
27. the doors yu open deside yer life (Flora Witemore)
28. War dont deside hu iz rite, it deside hu iz left (Bertrand Russel)
29. wen sumwon ask for advise,
him want yu tu appruve wot him desided (Josh Billings, 1860)
deside
30. wen yu gotta chuez & dont, that is yer chuez (Will James)
31. wise man deside, ignorant man follo the krowd
32. yer at pees aft yu deside, even if rong (Rita Mae Brown)
369. Deskriminate... (descriminate in krat speek)
1. we dont deskriminate, we just exklude sum tipes (Gerald Wellman)
370. Destiny...
1. akshun feed fate; deeds gro intu destiny (Harry S Truman)
2. Amerika's destiny is in the west (Don Freed)
3. character is destiny (Heraclitus)
4. chois make destiny (Jeen Nidetch)
5. desishuns shape destiny (Tony Robbins)
6. destiny...fools exkuze for faelyuer, tirants authority for krime (Ambrose Beers)
7. destiny is 20/20 hindsite.
8. destiny is not chans, it is chois.
Dont waet for it tu waet for yu (William J Bryan)
9. destiny is wot yu make av it
destiny
10. du yer duty & let god du the rest (Pieer Korneel)
11. foes & luvers R destined tu meet (Chineez)
12. him that is born tu be hanged, wont drown (French)
13. hitch yer wagon tu a star (Ralf W Emersun)
14. I am master av mi fate (Will Henlee)
15. if yu kant chaenj fate, chaenj yer attitude (Amy Tan)
16. man dont rule. Destiny & akseedents rule (Plato)
17. man make his kondishun (Henree D Thoro)
18. predestined thangs manage self (Amilia Bar)
19. stars dont hold our destiny, we du (Shakespeer)
b. The stars dont make R destiny. Destiny is inside yu.
destiny
20. Thangs R wot em R. Wot will be will be (Oskar Wild)
21. The lot av man is endless laber, or no laber wich is badder (T S Eliot)
22. the test av a man is how him plae the role destiny giv him (Jan Patoka)
23. the web av destiny is full. We seek the senter (Henree D Thoro)
24. the weel kum full serkel (Shakespeer)
25. we R puppets (Jorj Bukner)
26. weer yer talents meet the needs av the werld, thats yer kalling (Aristotle)
27. Yu R an akter in a drama. Gods kontol yer part (Epiktetus)
28. yu will be wot yu will be. Yu will hav wot yu will hav (Chineez)
371. destroy...
1. destroy yer enemee bi make him yer freend (Abe Linkoln)
2. tu destroy a kid, let him run free at nite (Henree Ward Beecher)
372. deth... (death in krat speek)
1. a well spended dae bring happy sleep
a well spended life bring happy deth (Leonardo da Vinsee)
2. all die the same deth, grate man & vagrant (Homer)
3. birth is the start av deth (Ed Yung)
4. deth=life's wae tu tell yu... yer fired.
5. deth bring pees & treshuers yu kant bi,
remuve paen dokters kant help (Mortimer Kollins)
6. deth dont get badder evree yeer like taxes
7. deth dont keep a skedyuel (Shakespeer)
b. dont go bi a kalander
c. dont watch the time klok
8. deth dont take a bribe (Ben Franklin)
9. deth dont take a holidae
deth
10. deth dont take wise man bi sprise (Jeen Fontaen)
11. deth hang over yu, so be good wile yukan (Mark Aurelus)
12. deth is a debt all must pae (Euripides)
13. deth is a distant ruemer tu the yung (Andy Roonee)
14. deth is a part av life...the last part
15. deth is as kommon as life (Henree D Thoro, 1842)
16. deth is better than teeranee (Aeschylus)
17. deth is deliteful for tired man (Herodotus)
18. deth is heritatary
19. deth is naechur's wae tu sae...{howdy, slo down, yer fired}
deth
20. deth is not the end. Still 3 yrs tu litagate the estate (Ambrose Beers)
21. deth is the grate leveler (Klaudian)
22. deth is the gratest human blessing (Sokrates)
23. deth is wot yu gotta put up with tu plae the game av life (Jeen Giraudo)
24. deth kloes all doors (English)
25. deth kum 2 erlee or 2 late (English)
26. deth kyuer all dazeezes
27. deth pae all debts (Shakespeer)
28. deth save me from be bored tu deth (Sam Butler)
29. deth smile at us all. All we kan du is smile bak (Gladiater)
deth
30. deth take us from prisun tu palus
31. deth tell us wen tu stop (Steev Stiles)
32. dont be so afraed av deth yu dont liv (Henree van Dike)
33. dont demeen life bi be in aw av deth (David Sarnoff)
34. dont no if deth is the gratest blessing
but feer av deth is the gratest kers (Plato)
35. dont nok on deth's door. Ring bell & run.
36. Folk feer deth, even tho it mae be a blessing (Sokrates)
37. God made deth tu tell us "stop" (Steev Stiles)
38. grave is a fine & private plaes. But nun embraes it (Jeen B Moleer)
39. if yu dont feer deth, yu oenlee die 1 time (Giovanni Falkone)
b. him hu dont feer deth, oenlee die 1 time
deth
40. I'm not afraed av deth, but me dont wanna be theer wen it happen (Woody Allen)
41. many long tu liv forever but dont no wot tu du on a raenee dae (Susan Ertz)
42. men feer deth like kids R afraed av the dark (Fransis Bakon)
43. mr Brown is quite unwell & will take a holidae due tu his resent deth (Parish mag)
44. on deth, we liv in our kids, em R us (A Einstein)
45. our last dae is the first dae av forever (Seneka)
46. so many littel dieings, it dont mater which bring deth (Ken Patchen)
47. sum thangs R badder than deth
ever spend an evening with inshuer salesman? (Woody Allen)
48. sumtimes oldsters R as unwilling tu die as tired kids tu gotu bed (Joe leFanu)
49. the oenlee kyuer for sikness is deth (Harvee Cushing)
deth
50. the oenlee thang shuer bout yer life...yu will luze it (Aeschylus)
51. the problem with deth quotes is the quoters R alive (Joshua Bruns)
52. the report av mi deth was exagerated (Mark Twaen)
53. unlike taxes, deth dont get badder evree yeer
54. we first understand deth wen him put his hand on a luved won (M deStael)
55. wotz the deth rate round heer? 1 per persun
56. yeers steel evree dae, at last em steel us awae (Horas)
57. yer grave is yer rest (Jon donn)
58. yu kant die bi proxy
59. yu sae its bad tu die. Straenj komplaent from folks hu never lived (Mark Twaen)
373. deth bed werds...just b4 die (deth bed statements)
1. alas, I die beyond mi meens (sipping shampaen) (Ambrose Beers)
2. all is lost (Henree 8, 1547)
3. all mi possessions for a moment more (Queen Elisabeth 1)
4. am I dieing? (Nansee Astor, 1964)
5. applaud, the komadee is over (Bethhoven, 26 Mar 1827)
6. born in a hotel room, die in hotel room (Eugene O'Neill, 27 Nov 1953)
7. byuteeful (Elizabeth B Browning, 28 Jun 1861)
8. damm it (Joen Krawford, 10 Mae 1977)
9. deth is not mi foe (Robert Browning)
faemus last werds 2=dethbed
10. dont kri, be good, we meet in heven (Andru Jakson, 1845)
11. dont let it end like this, tell em I sed sumthang (Pancho Villa, 1923)
12. dont let poor Nelly starv (Charles 2, 1685)
13. father, I kommend mi spirit intu yer hands (Jesus, per Luke)
14. how was the take tudae? (P T Barnum, 1891)
15. gas is running lo (Amelia Earhart, 1937)
16. giv me a muzeeum & I'll fill it (Picasso, 1973)
17. giv me yer hand (Jon W vonGoeth, 22 Mar 1832)
18. go awae, I'm ok (H G Wells)
19. god will pardon me (Heinrich Heine, 15 Feb 1856)
faemus last werds 2=dethbed
20. goodbi. I leev kauz I'm bored (Jorj Saunders="kernel" av Kentuk Fried Chiks)
21. grate game av golf, fellers (Bing Krosbee, 14 Oct 1977)
22. hold the kros hi so I kan see it (Joen av Ark)
23. I am kontent (Jon Quinsee Adams, 21 Feb 1848)
24. I dont feel good (Luther Burbank, 1926)
25. I dont wanna go home in the dark (O Henree, 4 Jun 1910)
26. I go tu sleep. goodnite. (Lord Bryon, 1824)
27. I go over the vale (Babe Ruth)
28. I hav a hedake (Franklin D Roosevelt,4 Apr 1945)
29. I hav nuthang, oe much. The rest I leev tu the poor (Rabelais, 1553)
faemus last werds 2=dethbed
30. I hav a long trip tu take (Walter Rawlee, 1618)[1 soers giv this]
b. if the hart be rite, dont matter how the hed lae [diff soers sae this]
31. I hope I didnt bore yu (Elvis Preslee, 1977)
32. I liked evree minut av it (Errol Flyn, 14 Oct 1959)
33. I look forward tu plesant times (Jon Hankok)
34. I oe 1 kok tu Alsclepius, will yu pae it? (Sokrates)
35. I oenlee regret I hav but 1 life tu luze for mi kuntree (Nathan Hale)
36. I offended god. Mi werk not good nuff (Leonardo da Vinci, 1519)
37. I see blak lite (Vikter Hugo, 22 Mae 1885)
38. I shall werk tu the end (Edward 7, 1910)
39. I shood not hav switched tu martinis (Humpree Bogart, 14 Jan 1957)
faemus last werds 2=dethbed
40. I'm bored (W Churchil, 24 Jan 1965)
41. I'm going (Al Jolson, 1950)
42. I'm going tu die (Jorj B Shaw, 2 Nov 1950)
43. I'm not afraed (Charles Darwin, 19 Apr 1882)
44. I'm redee (Woodwill Wilsun, 1924)
45. is it meningitis? (Louisa M Alkot)
46. is it the 4th? (Tom Jeffersun, 4 July, 1826)
47. its not loeded (Terry Kath)
48. its very byuteeful (Tom Edison, 1931)
49. Josafeen (Napoleon, 5 Mae 1821)
faemus last werds 2=dethbed
50. last werds R for fools (Karl Marx, 1883)
51. Lets adjern this meeting (Adam Smith, 1790)
52. Lets pass over the river (Stonewall Jaksun, 1863)
53. mi fun daes R over (James Deen, 1955)
54. mi werk is dun, wi waet (Jorj Eestman, 1932...invented Polaroid kamra)
55. never felt better (Douglas Faerbanks, 23 Feb, 1939)
56. now the mistree (Henree W Beecher, 8 Mar 1887)
57. nuthang is eezee for a dieing man (Ben Franklin, 1790)
58. Plato was a bore (Fred Nietzshe, 1900)
59. put out the lite (Theodor Rosevelt, 1919)
faemus last werds 2=dethbed
60. remember me for mi good werks (Alfred the grate)
61. sho mi hed tu folks (Jorj Danton, 1794)
62. siens is Fiziks or stamp kollekting (Ernist Rutherford, 1937)
63. strike the tent (Robert E Lee, 1870)
64. such is life (Ned Kelly, 1880)
65. The fog is rising (Emily Dikensun, 1886)
66. The wallpaper go or I du (Oskar Wild, 30 Nov 1900)[1 soers sae this]
b. I die beyond mi meens [different soers]
67. they kant hit an elefant at this distans, Spotsyvania Kort Hous
(last werds av Gen Jon Sedgwich, 9 Mae,1864, hit bi enemee bullet)
68. This is boring (Richard Fenman, 1988)
69. This is funny (Dok Holidae)
faemus last werds 2=dethbed
70. This is no time tu make nu enemees (Voltaer, 1778)
71. tis good (Jorj Washington, 14 Des 1799)
[dif soers sed "I am not afraed"]
72. waeting R em? Let em waet(Ethan Allen, 1789)
73. Woe is me (Vespasian, 79 ad)
74. Won werld at a time (Henree D Thoro, 1862)
75. wot happened? (Diana, 31 Aug 1997)
76. yu tu Brutus? (Julius Seesar, 44 bc)
374. Devil...
1. Devil incarnate
2. Devil site [quote] skripcher for his purpus (Shakespeer, Merchant av Venis)
3. Devil started as angel
4. Devil tu pae...yu gotta liv with results av wot yu did (Marlo, 1594)
5. Devil will sweer on a stak av bibels
6. Devils advokut=sumwon hu argue for the opposit
yuzyually the boss want sumwon tu thank bout
wot kan go rong with wot him wanna du
7. Devils dont be. Gods dont be. Its all in yer mind (Sigmund Froid)
8. Devils kan be throed outta the hart bi the tuch av a hand (Tennessee Williams)
9. Devils kauz idiots, lame, blind, & dum.
Dokters hu tri tu treet em R dum blokheds (Martin Luther)
devil
10. giv the devil his due (Mike Cervantes, 1570)
11. gossip is the devils radio (Jorj Harrison)
12. I bet the devil redezine hell aft him see how airports R laed out (Tony Pries)
13. I laff at the devil (Martin Luther)
14. if Hitler invade hell, I will make good menshun av the devil (W Churchil)
15. if the devil dont be, we invent him in our imaej
16. if the devil didnt be, we wood hafta invent him
17. if yu didnt spend so much time tu hate the devil,
yu wood hav more time tu luv fello man (Helen Keller)
18. man is the best explanashun for the devil (Ron Nox)
19. nuetral men alli with the devil (Ed Hubbard)
devil
20. our devils R never wot we spekt wen we meet em faes tu faes (Nelsun DeMill)
b. sumhow our devils R not wot we spekt wen we meet em faes tu faes
21. sin make yu littel more than devils (Joe Alleine)
22. speek av the devil & him appeer (Italy)
23. talk av the devil & his horns pop out
24. the devil brood in miser's chest (Tom Fuller)
25. the devil is in the detaels
26. the devil is invented bi the reel devils in our werld (Robert Wilsun)
27. the devil kan steel babees (Martin Luther)
28. the devil made me duit (Flip Wilsun)
29. the first whig was the devil (Sam Jonsun, 1750)
devil
30. we R devils & make this our hell (Oskar Wild)
31. weer god hav a cherch, the devil hav a chapel (Spaen)
32. weer god hav a cherch, the devil hav a chapel & bigger kongragashun (Dan Defoe)
375. De-zert, tipe 1 [sweets aft maen meel] (desserts in krat speek)
note...desert=very dri land...not kin tu de-zert
1. dezert without cheez is byutiful woman without 1 ie (Anthelme Savarin)
2. dont ask how, wi, or if...just eet yer ies kreem (Thorton Wilder)
3. dont kri over spilled milk
but if the ies kreem fall off the kone, it ruin the hole dae (Terri Guillemets)
4. I dont trust mi wit tu pleez freend, so I get ies kreem (Ralf W Emersun)
5. ies kreem is exquisit, tu bad its outlawed (Voltaer)
6. is it hard tu make de-zert mommy? Not if its a pees-av-kake.
7. kookees R made from butter & luv (Norwae)
8. wen on a diet, eet vegees
karrot kake, banana bred, pumpkin pie (Garfeeld=Jim Davis)
9. without ies kreem, the werld go dark (Don Kardong)
376. De-zert, tipe 2 [go, leev; military
military: leev without boss sae-so] (desert in krat speek)
1. dont dezert yer post (Cicero)
2. faer wether freend desert yu in bad times
3. husbands mae de-zert wife & wife husband.
muther's luv last thru all (Washington Irving)
4. many free kuntrees lost theer liberty, ours mae luze its
but I am proud I didnt de-zert mi duty. (Abe Linkoln)
5. rats de-zert a sinking ship
6. stressed is dezert spelled bakward [oenlee if yuze krat spelling]
377. Dezerv...
1. dezerv, then want it (English)
378. diamond...
1. diamond=klunk av koel made good under pressure (henree Kisinger)
2. diamond in the ruff (mae be ruff, but sho promis)
3. diamond kan kut diamonds (Marsto, 1604)
4. diamond is forever (diamonds R forever)
5. diamond with flaw werth more than perfekt rok (Chineez)
6. diamonds R girls best freend & mans baddest foe
7. diamonds R made under pressure (Peter Marshal)
8. I dont diet. Oenlee karrot that interest me is how many in a diamond (Mae West)
9. spare moments R like unkut diamonds (Ralf W Emersun)
379. diary (Dieree)
1. keep a kiary & sumdae it will keep yu (Mae West)
380. didnt sleep 1 wink last nite
381. die (tipe 1=go from alive tu ded)..
1. 1 ded is a trajedee, 1 milyun ded is a statistik (Joe Stalin)
2. a man hu liv a full life is redee tu die NE-time (Mark Twaen)
3. bi the farm=die
4. deth is the grate leveller
5. die...the sudden end av sinnin (Elbert Hubbard)
6. die=the sudden end tu sins (Elbert Hubbard)
7. die hard=sumwon or a yunit that is hard tu kill
7. die yung as late as possabel (Ashlee Montagu)
8. dieing man need tu die, same as sleepee man need tu sleep (Steward Alsop)
9. evreewon die, but not evreewon liv (A. Sacks)
die
10. for 3 daes aft yu die, the haer & naels gro, but the fone kalls taper off (Jonee Karsun)
11. Gods kill us for fun (Shakespeer, 1600)
12. Him hu die with the most toys is still ded
13. I dont mind tu die, but stae ded skare me
14. I hav promises tu keep & miles tugo b4 I sleep [die](Robert Frost, 1940)
15. I'm not afraed tu die...I'm just disinklined tu tri it [dont wanna]
16. I thot I was lernin how tu liv. Rong, I lern how tu die (Leonardo daVinsee)
17. I want immortalitee, but dont wanna die tu get it (Woody Allen)
18. Im not afraed tu die, but I dont wanna be theer wen it happen (Woody Allen)
19. Im not afraed tu die, I just dont wanna duit
die
20. king or street sweeper, evreewon dans with grim reeper (Robert Harris)
21. kik the buket=die
22. Life is plesant, deth iz peesful. Watch out for the step tween em (I. Asimov)
23. luv or die (Jak Lemon)
24. nuther 1 bite the dust=die
25. pees. Hes not ded. Him wake from this dreem av life (Persee B Shelly)
26. the end av the yunivers kood kill yu
27. the oenlee kyer for birth & deth is tu hav fun tween em (Jorj Santayana)
28. the report av mi deth was exagerated (Mark Twain)
29. tu die is dull & dreeree. I advies yu...dont duit (W S Maugham)
die
30. wen yu die, yer kids liv on for yu (Einstein)
31. wen yu die, yu gotu a nu home (C L Allen)
32. wen yu kan no longer liv proud, die proud (Freedrich Nietzsh)
33. wen yu tell sumwon yu will leev em a legasee,
oenlee desent thang tu du is die then & theer (Sam Jonsun)
34. yu die av old aej. If yu luv, yu die yung (Arthur W Pinero, 1930)
35. yu end life on the sholders av 6 stranjers hu wanna make a hole-n-1 with yu (Fred Allen, 1950)
36. yu kant predikt yu will be alive tumorro (Euripides, 420 bc)
37. yu R sentensed tu deth the dae yu R born (Garee Gilmore)
382. die (tipe 2=small kube with numbered dots, yuzed tu gambel)
1. the die is kast=yu kommit tu du sumthang
383. die (tipe 3=die klothes or haer=yuze pigment tu chaenj its koler)
1. died in the wool=stubborn, wont kompromise, never chaenj his pinyun
384. diet...
1. a waest is a terribel thang tu mind (Tom Wilsun)
2. aft 20 yeers dieting, I lost 789 pounds (Erma Bombek)
3. after 2 weeks diet, all I lost was 2 weeks
4. all folks R made alike, oenlee the dinners & diners differ (Gertrude Chenee)
5. avoid diet that diskeraej hot fudj (Don Kardong)
6. ballansed diet...kookee in both hands
7. ben on a diet 2 weeks, lost 14 daes (Totee Feelds)
8. best seller books: 1. kookbooks, 2. diet books (Andy Roonee)
9. best wae tu luze wate...chek it in as aerline luggage (Peggy Ryan)
diet
10. braen sells kum & go, but fat liv forever
11. dae 2 av a diet is eezeeer. Bi then yer off the diet (Jakkee Gleesun)
12. diet...wunderful for others (Jeen Ker)
13. diet=fine for exseed the feed limit
14. dont diet, dont weree (Robert Hutchison, 1932)
15. dont dig yer grave with yer nife & fork
16. em R as sik hu eet tu much as em hu starv with nuthang (Shakespeer)
17. food is like sex. Wen yu dont get NE, even the baddest look good. (Beth McKollister)
18. food is yer best freend, & yer baddest foe (Ed Jones, 1978)
19. gluttony...emoshunal xkape=sine sumthang eet us (Peter DeVries)
diet
20. hard tu argue with the belly, it dont hav eers (Plutarch)
21. Im a nutrishunal overacheever...not fat
22. Im allerjik tu food. All I eet brake out in fat (Jennifer Dunkan)
23. Im going on a diet...tumorro.
24. Im in shape. Round is a shape isnt it?
25. Im not a glutton, im a food explorer (Erma Bombek)
26. Im not overwate, Im 9 inches short (Shelly Winters)
27. Im on a 90-dae wunder diet. So far me lost 45 daes
28. Im on a seefood diet. See food, eet it
29. I dont diet. Oenlee karrot that interest me is how many in a diamond (Mae West)
diet
30. I hav a grate diet. Yu kan eet wot yu want, but gotta eet with fat naked folks (Ed Bluestone)
31. I tri tu luze wate, but it alwaes find me
32. if it taest good, spit it out
33. if nacher intended the skeleton tu be seeabel,
it wood hav put it on the outside (Elmer Ries)
34. if yu chek evree nu diet that kum out, yuno french fries R out (Jeen Ker)
35. if yu wanna be thinner, eet less dinner (H S Leig)
36. inside us is a thin persun triing tu get out
yu kan sedate it with choklat
37. its time tu diet wen yu push awae from the tabel & the tabel muve
38. konstant anxiety bout diet is same as teedeeus dazeez (Jorj D Prentis, 1860)
39. life is the proper binj (Julia Child)
diet
40. mi dokter sed tu stop having dinners for 4 unless sumwon eet with me (Orson Wales)
41. most effektiv torcher devise...bathroom skale (Steev Filips)
42. most kommon form av malnutrishun is fat (Mervin Deitel)
43. never eet more than yu kan lift (Miss piggy)
44. not afraed av hites, afraed av widths
45. sins the invenshun av pots, man eet 2 times his need (Ben Franklin)
46. Tu lengthen yer life, shorten yer meels (Proverbs)
47. Tu promis tu not duit is the most shuer wae tu make shuer yu gotta duit (Mark Twaen)
48. we never repent av eet tu littel (Tom Jeffersun, 1825)
49. wen on a diet, eet vegees...karrot kake, banana bred, pumpkin pie (Garfeeld=Jim Davis)
diet
50. yer stomak shood not be a waest kan
51. yu hafta xersize a week tu werk off the thi-fat from 1 Snikkers (Dave Barry)
385. differ, different...
1. a differens is oenlee a differens if it make a differens
2. dif strokes for dif folks (Klarens Darro, 1900)
3. dif tween lawyer & rooster...ruester get up in the morn
4. the differens tween kat & a lie...kat oenlee hav 9 lives (Mark Twain)
386. dig...
1. dig the well b4 yu get thirstee
2. dig yer grave (yer oen grave)
387. dilbert...
1. Dilbert prinsapal...leest effektiv werkers end up weer em du leest harm...management (Skot Adams)
388. diligens is the mother av luk (or good luk)(Ben Franklin)
389. Dinomite kum in small pakkaejes
390. dip...
1. its not the vallees in life I dred, its the dips (Garfeeld)
391. dipstik
392. diplomat... (diplomacy in krat speek)
1. diplomasee=art av sae 'nies dogee" til yu kan find big rok
2. diplomat:
bring home the bakon without spill the beens
gotta watch his appeez & akkuze
hav nak tu make point without make foe
hold his tung in 10 tungs
juggel hot potato long nuff for it tu bekum kold issue
kan yawn all dae & never open his mouth
long on protokol, shorn on memree
mae not ride a bike but kan soft-petal
mind his speech more than speek his mind
prefer tu iron out differenses tu flaten foe
remember woman's birthdae & forget her aej
tell yu tu gotu hell so nies yu look forward tu the trip
thank 2 times B4 dont sae nuthan
3. diplomat handel porkupine without disterb a quil
4. diplomat liv on protokol, Jeritol, alkohol (Adli Stevensun)
5. diplomat remember a womans birthdae but not her aej (Robert Frost)
6. diplomat sae nasteeest thang the niesest wae (Isak Goldberg)
7. diplomat sae "nies doggy" til yu kan find a big rok
8. diplomat speek:
"i'll take it uner advisement"...no
9. diplomat tell yu "gotu hell" so good yu look forward tuit (Caskee Stinet, 1960)
diplomat
10. let sumwon els hav yer wae (Danyeel Vare)
11. never 2 erlee tu tri, never 2 late tu talk (JFK)
12. never negosheeate outta feer. Never feer tu negosheeate (JFK)
13. sae "nice doggie" til yu find a rok (Win Katlin)
14. the purpus is tu longgate evree krisis (Mr Spok, Star Trek)
15. wen diplomat sae him agree in prinsapel, plan on 10 yrs more talk
16. wen diplomat sae yes, him meen maby
wen him sae maby, him meen no
wen him sae no, him no diplomat
393. directshuns
1. Kolumbus never asked for direkshuns & found Amerika
but then, him wanted tu find India.
394. dirt...
1. aer offer less resistans than dirt (Jak Nickolus)
2. at the end av a werk dae, yu shood smell like dirt (Margaret Atwood)
3. dirt cheep
4. dirt is "misplaesed material" (Vikter Hugo)
5. dirtee deeds dirt cheep
6. fling dirt & yu get dirty (hav dirty hands) (Tom Fuller)
7. folks R like dirt...yu kan nourish em or starv em (Plato)
8. follo the dirt & it leed tu munee. Follo the munee & it leed tu power (Simon Jenkens)
9. gardeners no the best dirt
10. I dont see wi dirt alwaes go with povertee (Willis Klark)
11. it take a lotta dirt tu bury truth
12. life is hard, then yu die, em thro dirt in yer faes, werms eet yu
be glad its in that order (David Gerrold)
13. man is made for sumthang better than dirt (Oskar Wild)
14. no need tu du houswerk. Aft 4 yers the dirt dont get badder (Quentin Krisp)
15. pig yuzed tu dirt, tern up nose at ries (Jap)
16. saeges sae tu luze welth is tu luze dirt.
happy man is without shirt (Jon Haewood)
17. thro dirt at others & yu get dirty (Tom Fuller)
18. we kling tu the same spek av dirt, drift side bi side tu kommon doom (Klarens Darro)
19. wen yu mix Karob with the rite mix av fat & shugar, it look like choklut.
Same with dirt (Sandra Boynton)
20. yu kan bury yer trubels bi dig in the dirt
395. disapoint... (disappointment in krat speek)
1. 20 yrs from now, yu will be disapointed bi wot yu did not du (Mark Twaen)
2. better tuno & be disapointed than not no & wunder
3. blessed is him hu spekt nuthang, for him shall never be disapointed (Ben Franklin)
[Alexander Pope, Jonathon Swift... sed almost the same thang]
4. disapoint...ies kreem fall off the kone (Jim Fribig)
5. disapointed pashun alwaes leev skar (H W Longfello)
6. du yu get mad wen others disapoint yu? depend oenlee on self (Ben Franklin)
7. em waet for yer entrans. Dont disapoint (Sara McLachlan)
8. freends help disapointed luv (Jane Austen)
9. God made man kauz him was disapointed with the munkee (Mark Twaen)
disapoint
10. God must hav ben disapointed in Adam, kauz him made eve so different
11. him hu spekt much is oft disapointed
dispite disapointments, we keep on spekting (Sam Jonsun)
12. him hu spekt nuthang will not be disapointed (Edgar Kaek)
13. I dont mind if I disapoint others. Kant stand it wen disapoint self (Oliver Goldsmith)
14. I hope dispite repeeted disapointed (Ovid, 40ad)
15. I'm disapointed mi parents did not birth a star (Rufus Waenrite)
16. inside evree sinik is disapointed ideelist (Jorj Karlin)
17. life is a seerees av disapointments, then yu die
18. life is disapointing (Sharlot Bronte)
19. man kri at birth, komplaen all his life, & die disapointed (Will Tempel, 1700)
disapoint
20. men marry wen em get tired. Wemen marry from kereeus. Both R disapointed (Oskar Wild)
21. Men wed & spekt woman tu stae the same.
wemen wed & tri tu chaenj the man.
Thus, both R inevablee doomed tu disapoint. (A. Einstein)
22. pessimits is never disapointed (Jak Kleeree)
23. Sinik is disapointed bi the past & the fyucher (Sidnee Harris)
24. the less yu spekt, the less yer disapointed (Sam Jonsun, 1750)
25. vote for hu promis leest, yull be disapointed less (Berard Baruch, 1910)
26. we must aksept disapointment, but never luze hope
27. we R born kriing, lin in komplaent, die disapointed (Tom Fuller, 1650)
28. wen it raen, I'm disapointed & eet a lot (Tom Lasorde)
29. wen siens diskuver the senter av the yunivers, many will be disapointed it is not em (Bernard Baelee)
disapoint
30. yer gonna be disapointed wen yu dont gotu heven (Marylin Manson)
31. yu mae be disapointed wen yu fael, but yu R doomed if yu dont tri (Beverlee Sils)
b. mae get disapointed if yu fael, but yer duemed if yu dont tri (Bev Sills)
396. disgust...
1. gag a maggot off a gut wagon
397. dish...
1. dish fit for the gods (or for a king)=good food (or choklat)
398. diskeraej... (discourage in krat speek)
1. arms diskeraej invaders (Tom Pane, 1777)
2. avoid diet that diskeraej hot fudj (Don Kardong)
3. diskeraej litigashun. Persuaed nabers tu kompromize (Abe Linkoln)
4. dont diskeraej NE-1 hu make progres, no matter how slo (Plato)
5. dont diskeraej yer kids (Sam Jonsun)
6. dont get diskeraej bout littel progres (Tom Troward)
7. dont let life diskeraej yu. Evreewon got weer him be bi start weer him was.
8. dont listen tu NE-1 hu tri tu diskeraej yu
9. if elekshuns was on dae after tax dae [16 April], it mite diskeraej politishuns (Tom Sowell)
10. most diskeraejing...possabel, but faeled (Robert Malet, 1972)
11. most pokket wisdum is dezined tu diskeraej kommon folk (Robert L Stevensun)
12. problems R spozed tu rouse yu, not diskeraej yu (Will E Channing)
13. resist temptation is hard for most kauz em dont wanna diskeraej it 2 much (Ben Franklin)
399. diskontent man dont find the eezee chain (Ben Franklin)
400. diskreshun... (discretion in krat speek)
1. diskreshun is the best valer (Shakespeer, Henree 4)
b. is the best part av valor
2. diskreshun protekt yu, understand gard yu (Proverbs)
400. diskus=exchaenj noit, argue=exchaenj ignorans (Robert Quillen)
401. diskuver... (discover in krat speek)
1. diskuvree=akseedent + redee mind (Albert Von Szent)
2. huever diskuvered water, it was NOT a fish (attributed tu A Einstein)
[we oft overlook kommon stuff as 2-obveeus]
402. dismal quotes... (reel quotes that dont make sens)
1. best wae tu get bak on yer feet...miss 1 kar paement (in kar deeler bilding)
2. dont activate with wet hands (hot air bloer in publik bathroom)
3. restrikted tu unauthorized persunel (at several military baeses)
4. we dont want an arm & a leg, we want yer toes (toe truk kumpanee)
5. wot is we refund yer munee, giv yu nu kloes, kloes the shop, & shuet the boss?
wood that pleez yu? (Laundree windo)
403. disonest... (dishonest in krat)
1. gotta kount yer fingers aft yu shake hands with him
2. so krooked, wen him die, will hafta skru him intu the ground
404. dispite the kost av living, its still popular (Kathy Norris?? Larens J peter??)
405. distans or distant...
1. deth is a distant ruemer tu the yung (Andy Roonee)
2. distans is nuthang. First step is evreethang
b. The distans is nuthang kompared tu how hard step 1 is
3. distans lend enchantment (or mistree)(Tom Kambel, 1800)
b, distans make evreethang look gooder
4. distant water dont help fite fire
5. dont let em drive yu krazy wen its in walk distans
6. em kant hit an elefant at this distans (last werds av Gen Jon Sedgwich, 1864)
7. ideelism inkreez bi distans from the prob (Jon Galswerthy)
8. if him sae him will meet yu halfwae, him a poor judj av distans
9. shortest distans tween 2 points is under konstrukshun (Noel Altito)
b. is tored up with a sine that sae "mem werking" (& nowon in site)
10. we all praktis virchu at a distans (Theodor M Hesberg)
11. yu kan advise in konfort from a safe distans (Jon Shiller)
406. distinctiv...
1. distinctiv...different koler, shape, or size from the kompetishun
407. distress... a dazeez yu get wen yer freend prosper (Ambrose Beers)
408. divide & konker
409. divided hous kant stand (Mathyu, Linkoln)
410. divors... (divorse in krat speek)
1. leeding kauz av divors...maeraej
2. oenlee requirement for divors nowadaes is a wedding
3. theer R 2 sides tu a divors...yers & shithed's
411. dog... (dawg in non-krat)
1. a dogs life is miserabel (D. Erasmus...1500)
"like a dog"=bad, reched, poor
2. a properlee-traened man kan be dog's best freend (Koree Ford)
3. averaej dog is gooder than averaej prson (Andy Roonee)
4. best sikologist=puppy lik yer faes (Bern Willyums)
5. best wae tu get a puppee is tu beg for a baby brother (Winston Pendeton)
6. Dog daes av summer=hot spel
7. Dog eet dog=very ruff fite, take advantaej
8. Dog is a gentelman. I hope tu gotu his heven, not mans (Mark Twaen)
9. Dog is alwaes on the rong side av the door (Ogden Nash)
dog
10. dog is mans best freend (original)
11. dog is mans best freend kauz him wag his tael, not his tung.
b .Dog is so good kauz the tael wag, not the tung
12. Dog is oenlee thang that luv man more than man (Josh Billings)
13. Dog is the best deel man ever made (Roger Karas)
14. Dog is the god av frawlik (Henree W Beecher)
15. dog is the oenlee animal that thank bout man (Maurees Maeterlink)
16. dog is the oenlee thang that luv yu more than yu luv self (Josh Billings)
b. dog luv yu more than yudu (Josh Billings, 1880)
17. dog is wiser than woman...dont bark at master
18. dogs chase kars but kant drive
19. dogs kum wen yu kall, kats mae take a messaej & never kall bak
dog
20. dogs laff with theer taels (Max Eestman)
21. dogs luv & admire the meenest av us
feed our vanity with nonkritikal ommaej (Agnes Repler)
22. Dogs make our lifes hole (Roger Korus)
23. Dogs no but dont tell (Emily Dikkensun)
24. Dogs that dont kill sheep, dont run
25. gratest insult tu dog is tu sae it is almost human (Jon Holms)
26. gratest luv is mothers, then dog, then sweethart (Pole)
27. happy dog dont need leesh (dont tri tu restrikt sumwon 2 much)
28. help me be the persun mi dog thank me be
29. him hu sed yu kant bi happee forgot puppees (Geen Hill)
dog
30. I luv a dog. Him dont duit for politiks (Will Rogers)
31. I pored spot remuver on mi dog, now hes gon
32. I wunder if other dogs thank poodels belong tu a weerd relijus kult (Rita Rudner)
33. if dogs kood talk, it wood ruen all the fun (Andy Roonee)
34. lae down with dogs, get up with flees (Ben Franklin)
35. live dog is gooder than ded lion
36. make fool av self, dog dont skold (Sam Butler, 1912)
37. man is dog's idea av god (Holbrook Jaksun)
38. mi goel in life is tu be as good as mi dog thank me be
39. nowon appresheate yer werds as much as a dog (Christofer Morlee)
dog
40. skratch dog & yu hav permanent job (Frank P Jones)
41. the more I see av man, the more I like dogs (deStael)
42. tu his dog, evree man is napoleon (Aldous Huxlee)
412. dogma=1 mans pinyun imposed on others (Felix Adler)
413. dokter... ("doctor" in krat speek, "physician" in super-krat)
1. appel a dae keep the dokter awae
2. best dokter...1. laff, 2. sleep (Jorj Deen)
3. dokter tell us tu get fresh aer, but not weer tu find it
4. dokter: hav yu had this paen b4?
paeshent:yes
dokter: well, yu hav it agin
5. dokter: yu will die in 2 weeks
paeshent:I want a sekond pinyun
dokter :OK, yer uglee tu
6. dokter Livingston I assume
7. dokter sed I shood switch tu helthee food: vegees & fruit
wot cha gonna du?
switch dokters
8. dokter, mi arm hert in 2 plaeses
dok: Then dont gotu em plaeses
9. good dokter no how werthless many medasins R (Ben Franklin)
10. hu was the most suksesful dokter in the bibel?
Job...he had the most paeshens.
11. me die from 2 many dokters (Alexander, 320 bc)
12. tri tu help, or at leest dont make em sikker (Hippokrates, 400bc)
13. wot shape am me in dok?
Yer shape is all outta shape
414. dolfin...dont trust a speeses that alwaes smile...its up tu sumthang
415. dollar...
1. a dollar in the hand is werth 1000$ the guvt spend (thro awae)
2. grandpa framed his first dollar in a 10 sent frame
now the frame is werth 1$ & the dollar is werth 10 sents
416. dont...
1. dont aem at talent yu dont hav
2. dont aer yer dirtee laundree
3. dont agonize, organize (Flor Kennedy)
4. dont akt like yu will liv 1000 yeers, akt like deth is at hand
5. dont ask for liter burden (loed), ask for stronger sholders (ju)
6. dont ask others tu du wot yu wont (Elanor Roosevelt)
7. dont bar the barn door after the hoers is gon
8. dont bark up the rong tree (Davee Kroket)
9. dont be afraed av terrer at nite or arro bi dae (Bibel)
dont
10. dont be afraed av perfekshun...yull never see it (Salvador Dali)
11. dont be afraed if yu go slo, be afraed if yu stand stil (Chineez)
12. dont be afraed tu sit & thank (Loraen Handsberry)
13. dont be afraed tu tri...amachuer bilt the ark, professhunals the Titanik
14. dont be first or last tu tri sumthang nu (Alexander Pope)
15. dont be kot flat-footed [be redee, dont let em sprize yu]
16. dont be led round bi the noes
17. dont be like kat that want fish but is afraed tu get feet wet (Shakespeer)
18. dont be so afraed av deth yu dont liv (henree Van Dike)
19. dont be tu fast tu judj
dont
20. dont beet a ded dog
21. dont beet a ded hoers (if its hopeless, giv up)
22. dont beet around the bush
23. dont beleev charmer (proverbs 26:25)
24. dont beleev evreethang yu heer (Aesop)
25. dont beleev wot yu heer & oenlee half wot yu see
26. dont bern yer bridjes behind yu
27. dont bi byutee stuff at a hardware store (Miss Piggee)
28. dont bite off more than yu kan chu
29. dont bite the hand that feed yu
dont
30. dont boest wen yu start, duit wen yu get dun
31. dont borro trubel (Robert Luis Stevensun)
32. dont borro trubel from tumorro (Dorthy Dae) [dont weree]
33. dont brodkast all yuno, all yu oe, all yu hav, or all yu kan du (Ben Franklin)
34. dont brood over mistakes (Robert Luis Stevensun)
35. dont burree yer hed in the sand
36. dont chaenj hoerses in mid streem
37. dont chase a lie. let it be, it will run self tu deth
dont count...see dont kount
dont cri ...see dont kri
dont cut ...see dont kut
38. dont dally with other folks wife or munee (Ben Franklin)
39. dont depend on others (Buda)
dont
40. dont deside til yu heer both sides (Phocylides)
41. dont dig a grave with yer nife & fork (English)
42. dont diskus sex with small kids...em dont hav NE-thang nu tu add (Fran Lebowitz)
43. dont disekt raenboe (Denise laFrans)[if its pretty, leev it alone]
44. dont drink n drive
45. dont drink n drive, yu mite spill the beer
46. dont drive me krazee, I'm kloes nuf tu walk
47. dont du bad for good reesuns (Tom Hardy, 1875)
48. dont explaen...yer freends dont need it & yer enemees wont beleev it (Elbert Hubband)
49. dont feer perfekt, yull never reech it (salvador Dali)
dont
50. dont find fault, find a fix (Henree Ford)
51. dont fite if yu hav a chans tu excape (Chineez)
52. dont forget tu cherish the moment
53. dont get mad. Dont get even. Get elekted (James Karvil)
54. dont get mad wen yu kant chaenj others, chaenj self
55. dont get mad wen yu kant foers others tu be as yu want em tu be.
for yu kant foers self tu be as yu wanna be (Tom Kempis, 1420)
56. dont get nostalgik til yer shuer it wont kum bak (Bil Vaugn)
57. dont get old, theers no fyucher init
58. dont get yer bak up
59. dont get kot flat-footed
dont
60. dont gild the lily [if its pretty, leev it alone]
61. dont giv a tinkers dam
62. dont giv tung tu yer thots (Shakespeer)
63. dont giv up the ship
64. dont giv up yer relijun til yu find a gooder won (Martin Fisher)
65. dont go looking for trubel
66. dont go quiet in the nite, rage gaenst the deth av the lite (Diland Thomas)
67. dont go tu bed mad. Stae up & fite (Fillis Diller)
68. dont go weer path leed, leev & go with no path (Ralf W Emersun)
69. dont hafta be smart tu see wotz under yer nose (Wistan Auden)
dont
70. dont hallo til yer outta the woods (Ben Franklin)
71. dont hav 2 nikels tu rub tugether (broke, flat busted)
72. dont hav a leg tu stand on
73. dont hav the sens God gave a goose (gues)
74. dont hav the sens god gave a hoers
75. dont hav tu many irons in the fire
76. dont hit a man wen he's down...kik him, its eezeeer
77. dont hide yer talent. Dont be a sundiel in the shade (Ben Franklin)
78. dont hire good-looking servants (Chineez)
79. dont judj 2 fast
dont
80. dont judj, we are all sinners (Shakespeer, Henree 6)
81. dont judj a book bi its kuver
82. dont judj a hoers by his saddle. (chineez)
83. dont judj a mans meens or peeatee bi his dress-up garb (Ben Franklin)
84. dont judj tu fast
85. dont kall the alligater big mouth til yu get kros the river
86. dont karry a grudj. Wile yu duit, other fello is out dansing with yer girl (Buddy Hakket)
87. dont kill the gues that lae gold aegs
88. dont komplaen yu dont get wot yu want, be glad yu dont get wot yu dezerv
89. dont kompromise. Yer all yu hav (Janis Joplin)
dont
90. dont kondem dif pinyun. Yu mae both be rong (Dandemis)
91. dont konfuse dissent with disloyal (Ed R Murro)
92. dont kontradikt wot I didnt tell yu (Jon Galletti)
93. dont kount a mans yeers til him hav nuthang els tu kount (Ralf W Emersun)
94. dont kount the yeers, make the yeers kount (Ernest Meyers)
95. dont kount yer chickens b4 the aegs hatch (Aesop, 500bc)
96. dont kount yer yeers, make yer yeers kount (Ernest Meyers)
97. dont kri b4 yu get hert
98. dont kri if the werld chaenj, kri if it dont
99. dont kri over spilled milk
dont
100. dont kri yer hart out
101. dont kritisize a man til yu walk in his shues (walk a mile in his shues)
102. dont kross the bridj b4 yu get tuit (til yu get tuit) (Longfello)
103. dont kut off yer nose tu spite yer faes
104. dont leed me tu temptashun, I kan find it bi self (Rita Mae Brown)
105. dont leed us tu temptashun, just tell us weer it is, well find it (Sam Leversun)
106. dont lern safety bi akseedent
107. dont let 1 bad moment spoil the good wons (Dale Ernhardt)
108. dont let animals on the furniture unless em kan hold up theer part av the talk
(Fran Lebowitz)
109. dont let em drive yu krazy wen its in walk distans
dont
110. dont let em get yer goet
b NE-won get yer goet
111. dont let fansee outrun yer meens (Ben Franklin)
112. dont let grass gro under yer feet (get a muve on)
113. dont let kritiks get yu down (kritism get yu down)
114. dont let NE-won steel yer dreem (Dan Zadra)
115. dont let skulin interfer with yer lernin (Mark Twain)
116. dont let the bastards get yu down
117. dont let the bastards grind yu down (Joe Stilwell)
118. dont let the sands av time get intu yer food
119. dont let wot yu kant du interfer with wot yudu (Jon Wood)
dont
120. dont lie tu yer dokter or lawyer (Ben Franklin)
121. dont like the koler av his munee
122. dont liv in the past
123. dont lok the barn door after the hoers get out
124. dont look a gift hoers in the mouth (st Jerome)=if get gift, dont komplaen
125. dont look bak mad or forward in feer. Look around & be ware (James Thurber)
126. dont look bak, sumthang mae be gaening on yu (Satchel Paej)
127. dont look down on sumwon, unless yu help him up (Jessee Jaksun)
128. dont look for trubel, yu mite find it (Aesop)
129. dont look tu far ahed. We kan oenlee handel 1 link in the chaen av destiny (W Churchil)
dont
130. dont make a mountin outta a molehill (Henree Ellis, 1900)
130. dont mess in yer nest
131. dont miss the donut bi look thru the hole
132. dont mistake akshun for results (lotta werk mae be waested)
133. dont muddy the water (konfuze, besmirk, hide)
134. dont no him from adam
135. dont no nuthan bout sex...I was alwaes married (Zsa Gabor)
136. dont offer advise, giv me munee (Spaen)
137. dont open kan av werms
138. dont open pandoras box
139. dont panik
dont
140. dont pee in mi pool
141. dont pee on elektrik fens
142. dont piss on me
143. dont plae with fire
144. dont plae leepfrog with a yunikorn
145. dont plae with the nose av sleeping baer
146. dont point that beard at me, it mite go off (Grocho Marx)
147. dont prae tu gods for wot yu kan get for self (Epicurus)
148. dont preech tu the yung. Lernin shood be fun (A Einstein)
149. dont pretend tu be wot cha aent
dont
150. dont pull the wool over mi ies
151. dont push the on-button til yuno weer the off-button is
152. dont put 2 many irons in the fire
153. dont put all yer aegs in 1 basket (Mike Cervantes, 1590)
154. dont put off til tumorro wot yukan du tudae
155. dont put off til tumorro wot yu shood hav dun yeers ago
156. dont put statements in negativ form (Will Safire) [on how tu rite]
157. dont put stok init (dont beleev it)
158. dont put the kart b4 the hoers (Jon Haewood, 1550)
159. dont reed just the eezee stuf, yu wont gro (Jim Roen)
dont
160. dont regret gro old, its a privledj many dont hav
160. dont regret the past. Life is tudae. Make yer tumorro (Hubbard)
161. dont regret wot yu du, regret wen sumwon katch yu
162. dont reinvent the weel
163. dont rok the boet
164. dont sael out farther than yukan roe bak (Denmark)
165. dont sho the bottom av yer pers (purse) or yer mind (Italy)
166. dont shuet the messanger (shoot in krat speek)
167. dont sit under the appel tree with NEwon but me
168. dont skrimp on wot dont kost...advise, kertesee(Ben Franklin)
169. dont spekt mersee from yer enemy (foe)
dont
170. dont spekt thangs tu go rite the first time
171. dont spill the beens [dont giv awae a sekret, dont tell]
172. dont spit intu the wind (Fred Nietztche)
173. dont spoil wot yu hav bi want wot yu dont hav.
remember yu hav many thangs that was wons oenlee a dreem (Epicurus)
174. dont squander time for it is the stuff av life (Ben Franklin)
175. dont stae long wen the husband is home (Jap)
176. dont steel. Tu kompeet in Biz, cheet. (Ambrose Beers)
177. dont stoop tu filthy akts...it make next stoop eezee (Kathern Hepbern)
178. dont store sausage neer the dog (Dane)
179. dont swet the small stuff
b. and evreethang is small stuff (Tom Edisun)
dont
180. dont take a blind date tu a silent film (Jorj Parfit)
181. dont take advise & dont giv it eether [and ignore this advise]
182. dont take life sereeus, its not permanent (Walt Kelly)
183. dont take life sereeus kauz yu kant get outta it alive (Elbert Hubbard)
184. dont take NE wood nikels (watch out for fakes...thangs or folks)
185. dont take no for anser
186. dont take sex advise from the pope. If him no NE-thang bout it, him shoodnt (Jorj B Shaw)
187. dont take the bull bi the horns, take the tael, then yu kan let go (Josh Billings, 1880)
188. dont take the faults av yueth intu old aej. Aej bring nu faults (Jon Goethe)
189. dont talk unless yu impruev on silens
dont
190. dont tare down a fens til yuno wi it was put up (Robert Frost)
191. dont tell a lie unless it is absoluetle konveenyent
192. dont tell evreewon wot yu paed for it
193. dont tern yer bak on life (Elanor Roosevelt)
194. dont test the water depth with both feet
195. dont thank em persekute yu wen em kritisize yu (Ralf W Emersun)
196. dont thro a rok, he mae thro it bak (kurd)
197. dont thro awae old bukket til yu test if nu 1 leek (Sweed)
198. dont thro it out til yu hav sumthang gooder tu take its plaes
199. dont thro out the babee with the bath water
dont
200. dont toot yer horn
201. dont treet the simptum, find the kauz
202. dont tri tu katch a falling nife=danjer
203. dont tri tu keep up with the jones...drag em down tu yer level, its cheeper
204. dont tri tu make kids gro up & be like yu...em mite duit (Russel Baker)
205. dont tri tu make sumwon be like yu. Oenlee 1 like yu & thats plentee
206. dont tri tu much at wons (Aesop, 570bc)
207. dont tri tu push the river (Pole)
208. dont tri tu reinvent the weel
209. dont tri tu stop chaen with yer hand (booklet kame with chaen saw)
dont
210. dont tri tu teech a pig tu sing. It waest yer time & annoi the pig
211. dont trust a woman hu tell her aej, her will tell yu NE-thang (Oskar wild)
212. dont trust husband tu far or bachler tu neer (Helen Roeland)
213. dont trust mirakels (Arab)
214. dont trust munee; put yer munee in trust
215. dont trust NE enterprise that require nu klothes (henree D Thoro)
216. dont trust NE-won over 30
217. dont trust sumwon dummer than yu [kon man mae be dum but slik]
218. dont upset the appel kart
219. dont vote, it will oenlee inkeraej em
dont
220. dont waest time on trifels (Plato)
221. dont waet for yer ship tu kum in unless yu sent it out
222. dont wanna be in yer shues
223. dont weree, be happy
224. dont weree bout avoid temptashun, as yu get older, it avoid yu
225. dont weree bout sumwon steel yer ideas.
If em R NE good, yu will hafta ram em down theer throets.
226. dont weree bout theeree if the masheen werk (Robert Heimlein)
227. dont weree bout wot others thank av yu...em R bizee werree bout wot yu thank av em
228. dont weree bout yer helth, it will go awae (Robert Orben)
229. dont weree bout yer math problems, mine R bigger (A Einstein)
dont
230. dont weree the werld will end tudae...it iz tumorro in Japan (Charles Shultz)
231. dont wish yer life awae
232. dont yuze big werd wen diminuiativ will suffies
233. dont yuze hatchet tu remuve fli from forhed (Chineez)
234. dont yuze puter if yu kan duit in hed or on paper
235. most portant thangs R dun bi em hu dont giv up wen theer seem no hope (Dale Karnajee)
417. dontno...
1. em hu dontno the mistakes av the past wont like it wen em duit agin (Dian Duane)
2. I dont no if em was naked...em had bags over theer hed (Yogi Berra)
3. if yu dont no weer yu wanna go, no wind will blo yer wae (Seneka)
4. if yu dont no weer yu wanna go, yu'll end up elsweer (Lawrens J Peter)
5. if yu dont no weer yu wanna go, yu mite not end up theer (Yogi Berra)
418. donut...
1. Wi is mi donut smashed? Yu sed "step onit"
419. dot...
1. dot the ies & kros the tees=kareful chek av detaels
420. dout... (doubt in krat speek)
1. dout dont be nies, but tu be shuer is absurd (Voltaer, 1767)
2. dout hu yu want but not self (Christeen Bovee)
3. doutint tomus=gotta hav solid proof (Bibel)
4. douts R traeters that oft skare us so we dont tri (Shakespeer)
b. our douts R traeters. Make us luze wot we mite win
kauz us tu be afraed tu tri
5. faith is blind, dout kan leed tu lernin (Wilsun Mizner)
6. if yu wanna no, yu gotta lern how tu dout (Antoenet deShoulders)
7. the problem is the dum klods R kokshuer & the rest R full av dout (Berstrand Russel)
8. wen in dout, du at the prez du...ges
421. down...
1. down & out=broke, werthless, homeless
2. downfall kum from inside
422. Drama is life without the dull parts (Alfred Hitchkok)
423. Drank till he was plum tipsy
424. draw...
1. draw a blank=dont get nuthang (in a lottery, kontest)
2. draw a line =set limt or boundree
3. draw in horns=retreet, seek safe plaes
4. draw the short straw=yu luze=yu gotta du the chore nowon wanna du
5. drawing on mi fine komand av tung, me sed nuthang
425. dreem... (dreams in krat speek)
1. all yer dreems kan kum true
2. angels oft speek tu the hart in our dreems (Eileen Freeman, 1994)
3. ambishun is a shado av a dreem (Shakespeer)
4. beleev yer dreems=yu sleep yer life awae (Chineez)
5. dont let NE-won steel yer dreem (Dan Zadra)
6. dont liv in the past. Dont dreem av the fyucher. Konsentrate on now (Budda)
7. dreem kan poisun sleep (Persee B Shellee) [must be a nitemare]
8. dreem in kortship, wake up married (Alexander Pope, 1720)
b.men dreem av kortship but wake up in wedlok
9. dreems anser quesshuns yu never aksed
dreem
10. dreems R free, so free yer dreems (Astid Aluda)
11. dreems R like stars...yu kant tuch em but em mae leed tu destiny
12. dreems R thots yu didnt hav time for all dae
13. dreems tell wot yu want, akshun deside wot yu get
14. Engineer...tern dreems & math intu reel stuff
15. follo yer dreems
16. for a dreemer, nite is the oenlee time av dae
17. hardest part av dreems is tu wake up
18. hope=waking dreem (Aristotel, 350 bc)
19. Human dignity is a dreem & a hope for most, never reel (James Thurber)
dreem
20. if we R in eech others dreems, we plae tugether all nite (Bill Waterson)
21. if yu want yer dredms tu kum true, step 1=wake up (J M Power)
22. in yer dreems
23. mae all yer dreems kum true (bekum reality in krat speek)
24. miths R publik dreems (Joe Kampbel)
25. never no how far yu gotta go wen yu chaes a dreem
26. no sleep, no dreems (Korea)
27. pipe dreem
28. the bubetube kan be a dreem box (Ursula LeGuin)
29. The nonpossabel dreem...get tu sleep (Leo J Burk)
dreem
30. thots R dreems til yu tri em (Shakespeer)
b.thots R oenlee dreems til yu tri tu duit (Shakespeer)
31. tu hav sweet dreems, yu gotta liv sweet (Barbara Kingsolver)
32. vishun without akt is a dreem
akt without vishun just past the time (Hoe A Barker)
33. want yer dreems tu kum true, dont sleep. (Yiddish)
34. We R smarter, wiser, & better judjes wen we dreem (Erich From)
35. Wen yer dreems tern tu dust, vakyuem
36. Wen yu R old & grae, reed this book slo & dreem av wot was (Willian Yeets, 1890)
37. Werld need dreemers, werld need duers, most need dreemeers hu du (Sara Brethman)
38. yer old wen regrets replaes dreems (Jon Barrymore)
39. yu dont need a reesun tu dreem (Ashlee Brite)
426. dress...
1. dress is like barbed wire...protekt the inside but dont hide the vyu
2. dress kode...yu gotta dress (Skot McNeely)
3. dressed tu kill=all dressed up
4. dressed tu the 9's=dressed up, reel fansee, fansee dresser
427. dressed...
1. dressed fit tu kill (dressed up)
2. Dressed up in his Sundae go tu meet klothes
3. Dressed up tu the nines
428. dri...
1. dri as a bone
2. so dri, frogs beet on the skreen door, begging for water
3. so dri, trees beg dogs for pis
429. drink...
see also...drunk
1. a drink a dae keep the shrink awae (Ed Abbee)
2. drink Kanada dri...giv it the old kolleej tri
3. drink like a fish
4. drink liquer=make thangs eezeer & yu dont remember
5. drink preseed story (Irish)
6. drinker hav hole under his nose him pore munee intu (Tom Fuller)
7. folks hu drink no wot tu blame evreethang on (Oskar Levant)
8. folks like yu...thats wi I drink
9. I saw a sine "drink Kanada Dri"...I just started (Brendan Behan)
10. I'm alergik tu alkohol...I brake out in handkuffs (Robert D Junior)
11. It oenlee take 1 drink tu get me drunk, but me kant remember if its the 13th or 14th (Jorj Berns)
12. wem life is a challenj, take yer best shot...tequila
13. yu gotta beleev in sumthang...I beleev I'll hav nuther drink (W C Feelds)
430. drive...
1. 2 rongs dont make 1 rite, but 3 lefts du (Jasun Luv)
2. a man hu dont drive...theeers sumthang rong with him (Art Bushwald, 1966)
3. a sitee 2 big for yu tu walk from 1 end tu the other, is a trap (Arnold Toynbe)
4. a tree oenlee hit kar in self-defens
5. best safety devies...reer vyu mirrer with a kop init (Dudlee Moor)
6. dont drink & driv
7. dont drive faster than yer gardian angel
8. drive defensiv & remember the best defens is offens
9. drive kareful, dont wanna die in good helth
drive
10. drive lisens...wot koler du bald men hav?
11. drive like hell...yu'll get theer (bumper stikker)
12. drive sumwon up the wall=get him so mad him klimb the wall
13. drive thru="yer argument hav a hole big nuff tu drive a truk thru"
drive-thru also=eeteeree weer yu stae in the kar=2 lazee tu get out
14. DTF? huh? drive tu fast
no, FTL. wot? fli tu lo
15. evreewon thank him be abuv averaej driver [averaej=80% in Sweed Servae]
[servae in Sweden...80% sed em R abuv averaej]
16. hang up the fone & drive (bumper stikker)
17. I dont like kars. At leest a hoers is human (J D Salinger)
18. I drive wae 2 fast tu werree bout kolesterol
19. if yu dont like the wae I drive, get off the sidewalk
drive
20. it take 8460 bolts tu make 1 kar & 1 nut tu skatter em all over the roed
21. it took Noah 40 daes tu find a plaes tu park (Kertis McDougal)
22. kar-sik...yu get sik wen kar paemeent kum du eech month
23. man hu kan drive safe & kiss girl at same time...dont giv proper tenshun tu girl (A Einstein)
24. most kuntrees drive on the rite side av the roed,
in England, em drive on both sides
Italy, on the sidewalk
Frans, em chaes yu rite intu the hotel lobby (Dave Berry)
25. nashunal flower is the konkreet kloverleef (Luis Mumford)
26. NE-1 hu drive sloer than yu is a idiot
NE that drive faster is a Maeneeak (Jorj Karlin)
27. never drive faster than yer gardian angel kan fli
28. old folks dont drive that bad. Its just that
em R oenlee wons hu go slo nuff tu get kot (Jasun Luv)
29. paeshens is wot yu admire in driver behind yu & skorn in driver in front (Mak McKleeree)
drive
30. pedestrian...sumwon hu thot him still had 2 gallons in the tank
31. pedestrians yuze food as fuel & dont require speshal parking (Luis Mumford)
32. shortest distans tween 2 points is under konstrukshun (Noel Altito)
33. sivilized man make kar & luze his feet (Ralf W Emersun, 1841)
34. smart Amerikans blo horns tu brake up traffik jams (Mary E Kellee)
35. speedwae end at semetary
36. tu solv the traffik problem...make law so oenlee paed-for kars get on the hiwae (Will Rodgers)
37. walk is not a lost art...yu gotta get tu the kar in the drivewae (Evan Esar)
38. wi am I the oenlee 1 hu no how tu drive? (bumper stikker)
39. yu admire paeshens in driver behind yu & skorn it in driver ahed (Mak McKleeree)
40. yu berned up a gallon av gas tu get a pak av sigs...thats sin (Paul McKreedee)
431. drivel...pure drivel tend tu drive ordinary drivel off the TV
432. drop...
1. a drop av honee katch more flies than a gallon av gall (likoln, 1837)
1. drop a brik=blunder.
Most kommon=talk...yu sae sumthang & evreewon stop & stare at yu
433. drown...
1. drown in a glas av water...werree bout miner problem
2. drowning man klutch at a straw (Tom More, 1500)
3. drowning man not bothered bi raen (Pershya)
4. him that is born tu be hanged, wont drown (French)
5. yu dont drown bi fall in water, yu drown if yu dont get out
434. drugs...
see also...addikt
1. dont du drugs. Yu gotu prisun. Drugs reel expensiv theer (Jon Harwik)
2. drug addikts R idiots (Greg Hous)
3. drugs kill, per yeer, in Amerika
tubak...395,000
alkohol 125,000
other 38,000
overdose 5,200
4. drugs teeched an Amerikan jenerashun the metrik system (P J O'Rourk)
5. eezee tu get 1000 preskribes, hard tu get 1 remedy (Chineez)
6. Golf is the oenlee sport weer em dont penalize plaers on grass (Bob Hope)
7. half av modern drugs, yu shood thro em out the windo, sept birds mite eet em (Martin Fisher)
8. I dont hav trubel with drugs, oenlee trubel with kops (Keeth Richard)
9. if yu wanna test for the problems av man, test for dumness, not drugs (P J O'Rourk)
10. mirakel drug...it du wot the label sae it will (Erik Hodgins)
11. oenlee week men get addikted tu drugs (Martin H Fisher)
12. realtee is a krutch for folks hu kant kope with drugs (Lily tomlin)
13. the oenlee dope werth yu tu shuet is Richard Nixon (Abbee Hoffman)
14. werds R the most powerful drug man yuze (R. Kipling)
435. drum...
1. drum up...drum up interest=go out & werk hard tu interest em in yer kanidate
2. drummed outta the armee=disgraes
436. drunk...
1. 1 tequila, 2 tequila, 3 tequila, floor
2. drunk as a skunk
3. du yu beleev in luv at first site? or du I hafta bi yu nuther drink?
4. if yu kant sae sumthang nies, keep drinking
5. more old drunks than old dokters
6. rehab is for quitters
7. yer not drunk if yu kan lae on the floor without a firm grip (Deen martin)
8. wen I was yer aej, we had tu walk 2 miles uphill tu get this drunk
437. du... (do in krat speek)
1. 3 waes tu get sumthang dun...1. duit self
2. hire sumwon. 3. tell kids dont du that
2. du an about faes
3. du as me sae, not as me du
4. du good tu keep freend. du good tu foe tu gaen him (Ben Franklin)
5. du not be anxious for tomorro, for tomorro will kare for itself
6. du nuthang sumtimes is the best polasee (Sokrates)
7. du or die
8. du small jobs like em R nobel & grate (Helen Keller)
9. du the rite thang. It will gratifi sum & amaze the rest (Mark Twain)
10. du tu others as yu want em tudu tuyu (Gold ruel)
b. du unto others as yu wood em du tu yu
11. du tu others b4 em duit tuyu (anti Gold ruel)
12. du wot is rite, kum wot mae
13. du wot kum natural
14. du wot yu kan, weer yu R, with wot yu hav (Teddy Roosevelt)
15. du wotz rite is NOT the problem; no wotz rite is (LBJ)
16. du yer best. Wot yu plant now, yu harvest later (Og Mandino)
17. du yu luv life? Then dont squander time, the stuff av life (Ben Franklin)
18. duit now
19. him hu hav gold, rules (gold ruel 2)
438. dubel... (double in krat speek)
1. dubel bind and still a going
2. dubel dare yu (tudu sumthang)
3. dubel Dutch
4. dubel ugly
5. dubel whammy=big setbak, hert xtra bad
6. on the dubel=xtra fast, hurry
439. duit...
1. a job werth duing is werth duit good
2. be shuer yer rite, then duit (Davee Kroket)
3. beleev yu kant duit & yu kant (French)
4. boys will be boys, & a lotta old men duit tu (Kin Hubbard)
5. dont karry a grudj. Wile yu duit, other fello is out dansing with yer girl (Buddy Hakket)
6. dont tri tu make kids gro up & be like yu...em mite duit (Russel Baker)
7. thots R oenlee dreems til yu tri tu duit (Shakespeer)
8. du tu others b4 em duit tuyu (anti Gold ruel)
9. duit bad=duit twice (2 times or yu gotta redu it)
duit
10. duit now
11. duit tudae, mae bi nonlegal tumorro
12. du tu others b4 em duit tuyu (anti Gold ruel)
13. du tu others for em wood duit tu yu (Charles Dikens, 1850)
14. eezee duit (T Taeler, 1863)
15. em hu dontno the mistakes av the past wont like it wen em duit agin (Dian Duane)
16. equal mae be a rite, but no power kan duit (honor DeBalzak, 1840)
17. find out wot yu like tudu, then find sumwon tu pae yu tu duit (Kathy Witehorn)
18. first half av yer life yu kan hav fun but dont get a chans
2nd half yu hav the chans but kant duit (Mark Twain)
19. How many fools duit take tu make 1 publik? (Seb DeChamfort, 1770)
duit
20. I luv a dog. Him dont duit for politiks (Will Rogers)
21. if ballae was eezee, evreewon wood duit
22. if its not fun, dont duit (Sam Vauklaen, 1900)
23. if yu get over feer, yu kan duit (Betty Bender)
24. Im not afraed tu die, I just dont wanna duit
25. the ded kant kri for justis, the living gotta duit (luis Bujold)
26. the devil made me duit (Flip Wilsun)
27. Tu promis tu not duit is the most shuer wae tu make shuer yu gotta duit (Mark Twaen)
440. duk... (duck in krat)
1. if it look like a duk, walk like a duk, quak like a duk...good chans it is a duk
2. I wons seed a duk sing & dans
weer?
Caesar's Palas
wot sorta duk?
Sammy Davis Duk, jr
441. dukt tape...
1. dukt tape is like the foers...got lite side & dark side & hode yunivers tugether (Karl Zwanzig)
442. dum, part 1=skolar quotes bout dum...
("dumb" in krat speek, "stupid" in super-krat, "stoopid" in super-super krat)
(stupidity in super-super-super krat)
1. 2 thangs R infinit...the yunivers & dumness. But me not shuer bout the yunivers (A Einstein)
2. a werd tu the wise is not needed. The dum wons need the advise (Bill Kroslee)
3. aft yu du all possabel dum thangs, du the wons beyond imajinaeshun (Charles DeGaul)
4. dif tween dum & jeenyus...jeenyus is limited (A Einstein)
5. dont no much but leed leeg in nose haer (Josh Billings)
6. dum as a box av rocks
7. dum as a box or slik as a fox
8. dum as a {log, post, rok, stump}
9. dum fool kan be sinseer
dum 1
10. dum got us intu this mess, so wi kant dum get us out? (Will Rogers)
11. dum is a wae av life; silly is a state av mind (Dave Butler)
12. dum is forever, ignorant kan be fixed (Don Wood)
13. dum is not a krime, so yer free tu go
14. dumest is skueled man wen subjekt is off his feeld (Will Rogers)
15. even the gods kant du NE-thang bout human dumness (Fred vonShiller)
16. he's as sharp as a blob av wet liver
17. how dum kan yu get? How dum du yu want me tu be? (Bud Abbot in muvee "meet Mummy")
18. I dont wanna vote for sumwon dum nuff tu want the job (Erma Bombek)
19. if dum splaen it, dont look for malis (Nik Diamos)
dum 1
20. in politiks, dum is not a handikap (Napoleon Bonapart)
21. individual is smart, org is dum (Jon Bentlee)
22. it is dum tu refuze tu see danjer wen it is on top av yu (Arthur K Doyel)
23. konsistent...yer as dum tudae as yesterdae (Bernard Berenson)
24. mental midget with IQ av a post (Tom Waets)
25. most folks seem brite til yu heer em speek
26. not the sharpest tool in the shed
27. oenlee dum quesshun is the 1 yu dont ask
28. so smart him no 9 tungs, so dum him bot a kow tu ride on (Ben Franklin)
29. The dum kan be sinseer (Carles F Kettering)
dum 1
30. the problem is the dum R shuer, the smart wons full av dout (Berstrand Russel)
31. the trubel is not wot folks dont no, it wot em no that aent so (Josh Billings)
32. we hav nuff yueth, weer's the fountin av smarts?
33. wi dont we du sumthang bout natural dum? (Steev Polyak)
34. wi R kids so smart & adults so dum? Must the the skuels (Alex Dumas)
35. yu akt like yu thank dum is a virchu ("flite av the Fenix")
443. dum, part 2=zampels av dum thangs sumwon sed
1. a jeenyus is sumwon like Norman Einstein (Joe Theisman)
2. alkohol mae be man's baddest enemee, but the bibel sae "luv yer enemee" (Frank Sinatra)
3. Amerikan planes kan penetrate deep intu Rushun soel (Jenral Rogers)
4. and it mite be a good idea tu weer klothes 2. (Jorj Burns)
5. averaej aerplane is 16 yeeers old & so is the food (Jone Rivers)
6. be patriotik...lern tu shuet yerself (Shekawgo Rotary klub)
7. biting his naels with his hands in his pokkets (AP report)
8. blind faeth in NE-thang will get yu killed (Brues Springsteen)
9. Brues Sutter is pretty old...35 (Ron Fairlee)
dum 2
10. did yu rite the werds or the leeriks? (Brues Forsieth)
11. dokter x-raed mi hed & found nuthang (Dizzy Deen)
12. dont hold sumwon tu wot him sed wen in luv, drunk, or runnin for offis (Shirlee McLaen)
13. dont tuch NE-thang danjerus (Soviet Army manual)
beware av pretty girls in dans hall
dont tuch bikes, revolver, uniforms, arms, ded hoerses, men laeing on the roed...
14. driver hav 1 foot on the gas, 1 on the brake, 1 on the klutch, 1 on the throttel (ESPN announser)
15. eether side kood win, or kood be a draw (Ron Atkinson)
16. em sae "its in the last plaes yu look".
av koers it is. If yu find it, wi wood yu keep lookin? (Bill Konnalee)
17. em hu died...theer lives will never be the same (Barbara Boxer)
18. fat is not pretty. If I see a 150-pound graehound, round & funny-lookin,
I laff at fat (Kristee Allee)
19 for many yeers he plaed the peeano quiet & silent on stage (Andy Peebels)
dum 2
20 for those av yu hu havent reeded the book, it will kum out tumorro (David Frost)
21. gold, ripe, boneless bananas (ad in nuzpaper)
22. half this game is 90% mental (Danny Ozark)
23. how tu store yer baby walker: 1. remuve baby
24. I actually voted for the 87 bilyun $, then voted ginst it (Jon Kerry)
25. I didnt du a krime. I just faeled tu kompli with the law (David Dinkins)
26. I go tu a lotta oversees plaeses, like Kanada (Britnee Speers)
27. I had tu overkum a lotta diversity (Dru Gooden)
28. I hav a lotta sekrets...1 is I'm an alien (Shania Twaen)
29. I hav a tattoo on mi most private part av mikkee & minee mous
involved in a sexual akt (Janet Jaksun)
dum 2
30. I hav pinyuns, strong pinyuns, but dont alwaes agree with em (Jorj Bush)
31. I invented the internet (Al Gore)
32. I koodnt get a job at the CIA now, I dont qualify (CIA direkter Porter Goss)
33. I sined this law tu outlaw Russya (Ronald Raegen)
34. I studeed forin-polasee & I no how many kontenents theer R (Jorj Wallus)
35. I wood du better than Bush & I'm not brite (Robbie Williams)
36. ie witnesses was on the seen in minuts (Adam Bouton)
37. if krime went down 100%, it wood still be 50 times 2 hi. (Jon Boeman=DC guvt man)
38. if we dont sukseed, we run the risk av faelyuer (Dan Quael)
39. if yu die, yu luze a portant part av yer life (Brook Sheelds)
dum 2
40. if yu havent set off for the senter yet, tern bak & go home (Ann Nitengale)
41. if yu let that go on,
yer bred & butter will be kut rite out from under yer feet (Ernest Bevin)
42. Im ignorant av wot me dont no (Cicero)
43. Im not an athleet, im a baseball plaer (Jon Kruk)
44. I've ben up & down so many times, I feel like a revolving door (Sheer)
45. inakkurat save a ton av explaen (Saki)
46. it aent over til the fat gie swing (Darren Daulton=baseball plaer)
47. it is not a bomb. It is a devies that is exploding (French ambasader tu Nu Zeeland)
48. it is time for humans tu enter the solar system (Dan Quael)
49. its 1-on-1 dialog. Open yer mouth & yu talk tu 6 milyun (Derek Jameson)
dum 2
50. its good tu be in the grate state av sheekawgo (Dan Quael)
51. its humbling tu be humbel (Maurees Klaret)
52. jeenyus is the talent av a ded persun
53. kookin chicken at a fish fri
54. like evreewon hu make the mistake av get older,..... (Bill Krosbee)
55. line up alfabetally bi hite (Florida State Koech)
56. many OB-GYM's kant praktis theer luv with wemen (Jorj Bush)
57. most Australia imports kum from oversees (Keppel Enderbery)
58. most av mi kleeshaes aent original (Chuk nox)
59. NE faemus idiot kan get laed. Its eezee.
If not faemus, it take talent (Kevin Bakon, 1996)
dum 2
60. oenlee thang that keep us from be rekognised as the best is our wins & losses (Devil Raes)
60. our bombs R smarter than averaej hi skuel student...em kan find Kuwaet. (A W Brown)
61. our foes R innovativ & resoerful, us 2
Em never stop thanking av nu waes tu hert us, us 2 (Jorj W Bush)
62. outside konsultants tu test gas room (ad in paper)
63. paer up in grupes av 3, then line up in a serkel (Bill Peterson=Florida State)
64. R not tall in terms av hite (Dan Bonner)
65. sex orjees releev soshal tenshuns (supreem kort judj Antony Skalia)
66. shuer theer R deths in boxing, but nun seereeus (Alan Minter)
67. sins evreethang is in yer hed, better not luze it (Koko Channel)
68. stae humbel. Anser the fone no matter hu is in the kar with yu (Jak Lemmon)
69. sum av the living legends me reserched go bak 100's av yeers (Andru Jones)
dum 2
70. sumtimes em rite wot me sae, not wot me meen (Pedro Guerro)
71. Thangs R more like em R now, than em ever ben (Gerald Ford=Presadent)
72. Thank 1 werd & 1 werd oenlee: "Super boel"(Florida State Koech)
73. The internet is a good wae tu get on the net (Bob Dole)
74. the private enterprise system indicates sum hav more munee than others (Gerry Brown=guvner av Kalifornya)
75. the streets R safe. Its yu folks hu make em unsafe. (Fillee maer Frank Rizzo)
76. theer kan be pokkets av time wen yer braen dont werk
quite as good as yu mite like it tu.
I miss that. (Kate Bekinsale)
77. theerapee kan be good, kan be theeraputik (Alex Rodriguez)
78. this is not a slum. No Kubs fan killed in a long time.
79. this is Perl Harber dae (Jorj Bush tu Amerikan Leejun on 7 Sep 88)
dum 2
80. this is the best lekshun nite in histree (Terry McAuliff, 2 Nov 04)
81. this lekshun is hotter than a Times Square Rolex (Dan Rather)
82. tu protekt self from radiashun, gotu bottom av swin pool & hold breth (David Miller)
83. us juernalists R tot tu avoid kleeshaes like the plaeg (Barry Norman)
84. warning...kape dont enabel yu tu fli (label on batman kostume)
85. we all get heeveer as we get older, theers more stuff in our hed (Vlade Divak)
86. we hav oenlee 1 person tu blame...eech other (Barry Bek)
87. we no a lepord kant chaenj its stripes (Al Gore) [tiger hav stripes, lepord hav spots]
88. wen yu get seenile, yu wont noit (Bill Krosbee)
89. wi dont we du sumthang bout natural dum? (Steev Polyak)
dum 2
90. wi du em put brail "instrukshuns" on drive-thru bank windo?
91. wons him was past the point-av-no-retern, theer was no going bak (BBC)
92. yu bet, we mite hav (Jon Kerry)
93. yu did a good job dekorating the Wite Hous (Jessika Simpson tu intereeer Sekratary)
444. dum, part 3=waes tu sae "yer dum" (stupidity in krat speek)
see also...insult
1. 1 fri short av a happy meel
2. 2 briks shi av a full loed
3. a fyu beers short av a 6-pak
4. A fyu fethers short av a hole duk
5. A fyu fries short av a Happy Meal
6. a fyu klowns short av a serkus
7. A fyu pees short av a kasserole
8. All foem, no beer
9. As smart as baet
yer dum
10. Body by Fisher, braens by Mattel
11. dont hav all his dogs on won leesh
12. dont hav all his kornflakes in won box
13. dont no much, but leads the leeg in nose hair
14. Elevater dont go all the wae tu the top floor
15. engin runnin but nowon drive
16. Forgot tu pae his braen bill
17. Has an I.Q. av 2, but it take 3 tu grunt
18. He fell out av the dum-tree and hit every branch on the wae down
19. He tried tu thro self tu the ground, and missed
yer dum
20. Her antenna dont pick up all the channels
21. His belt dont go thru all the loops
22. if his braen was dinomite, he kood blo his nose
23. if ignorans is bliss, yu must be in orgasism
24. intellect rivalled only by garden tools
25. kant pore water outta a boot with how-tu on the heel
26. If he had another braen, it would be lonely
27. lawyers R terd-sukking bottom feeders, but Im shuer yu alredee noit
28. meet-hed...ded from nek up
29. No graen in the silo
yer dum
30. not the sharpest tool in the shed
31. Proof evolushun kan go bakward
32. Reseever is off the hook
33. Sevral nuts short av a full pouch
34. The weel spin, but the hamster's ded
35. tu much yardage tween the goelposts
36. Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than em appeer
37. won Fruit Loop shy av full bowl
38. won tako short av a full plate
39. xperiment in Artificial dumness
445. dum, part 4=dum thangs sumwon did
see also...dum krooks
1. 7-11...
In a 7-11. woman kum in, grab a koke & kandy bar, gotu kounter. How much?
I sed $1.65. got a straenj look. Her ask how much for the koke. 1$.
how much for the Kandy bar?
2. aerport...
at aerport, chek in at gate. aerport werker asked, "did NE-1 put NEthang in yer bags without yer nawledj"?" ?" I sed, "If it was without mi nawledj, how wood I no?" He smiled and nodded noingly, "That's wi we ask."
I sed, "without mi nawledj, how wood I no?"
He smiled and nodded "That's wi we ask."
3. blind...
Street kross walk hav buzzer tu tell wen yu kan kross street.
me & freend wanna kross. her ask wot buzzer is for.
I sed so blind folks no wen the lite is red.
Her was shokked...wi du blind folks drive?.
4. braenless...man drilled hole in his hed 8 inch deep & put wire init.
then went tu kops for help "tu find the braen" wich him klaem is missing.
5. butt stuk...Jon Bloor mistake super glue for hemorroid kreem & glu his butts tugether.
6. dna...
biology klass talk bout DNA, enzymes, food, how body make DNA.
teecher sed "wen I eat the karrot, the enzymes from the karrot help bild DNA.
a girl ask "So is DNA made av karrots?"
7. dokters in holland advertise tu teen girls...lost yer virjinity?
em sae em kan redu it so it look like girl is a virjin.
8. eeteree...
mi sister, not 2 smart, werk as waetress. kook sent her tu basement tu get dried water.
plaes dont hav basement. Aft 1 hr her see its a joke.
kustomer order salad with dressing on the side.
her put a dab av greens in middel av plate & pored dressing all round it.
9. fax...
a: du yuno NEthang about this fax-masheen?
b: A little. wotz rong?
a: I sent a fax. Him kalled & sed him oenlee got the kuver-sheet & 1 blank paej.
tried it again, same thang.
b: How did yu loed the paper?
a: sensitive memo, dont want NE-1 tu see it, so I folded it so oenlee getter kan open it.
10. floor...
We replaesed the living room karpet with tile. 300 square feet.
Wen I told boss we yuzed tiles 12 inch bi 12 inch, him asked "How many tiles did yu yuze?"
10. goest...Mike LeMond shot at a goest & hit self in foot.
11. gun...2 in South Afrika shoot beer kans off eech others hed.
1 missed...hit other in faes.
12. Guvt...offis av Occupational Safety & Helth Admin inspekted theer offis
& gave self 3 tikkets for unsafe kondishuns.
13. haer 1...
I died mi hair red. Wen mi freend see it, her sae "yu died yer haer. Wot koler is it?"
13. haer 2...
Rachel sed her gonna bleech her haer. Tracey asked, "wot koler?"
14. hot dog...
I gotu Sixflags. see hotdog stand. I stare at it & hope mom see and get hint
tu bi sum. Dont werk. so I sae "Mmmmmm, hotdogs" just like Homer Simpson
and tumbel over short brik wall. no hot dog all dae.
15. hungree...Italy...man ate 16 teespoons, 2 sig-liters, 1 salad tong.
then komplaened av upset stomak.
16. IQ...
I asked mi girlfreend wot her IQ is. Her sed "20/20".
16. kandy...
mi freend sed if yu gargle peroxide it will make yur teeth witer.
her tri it. Gums terned wite. So her ate red kandy tu make her gums pink.
It also terned the teeth red.
17. kar 1...
3 av us ride in a freends kar on interstate duing 70. Truk sound funny.
Jamal sed, "hae, is yer truk OK?" Pico chek and find him is in geer 2.
ges I otta take next exit, stop, and shift intu "D".
Jamal reech over & shift it intu drive.
18. kar 2...
On a roed trip, 1 weel fell off. We lost sum av the nuts wen put weel bak on.
stopped at a gas stashun tu find nuts.
father asked for weel nuts. klerk sae "No, but we hav Nobby Nuts."
18. kar door 1...
woman kri beside kar I asked wotz rong?
Her: kar lokked, wont unlok. shooda replaesed the battery in the door unlokker.
me : theers a 7-11. maby em hav a battery. du the kar hav an alarm?
her gave me the kee, I put em in lok, terned, opened the door.
19. kar door 2...
me & husband gotu deeler tu pik up our kar. Em sed the kees R lokked inside.
us gotu servis area & find mekanik hu tri tu unlok the left front door.
I go around & open the rite front door. I yell "its open".
werker yell "I no, I alredee got that side."
20. karpet...werker put in nu karpet
werker go outside tu smoke. no sigs. karpet hav a bump. must be his sigs.
2 lazy tu tare up karpet tu remuve the sigs from under karpet.
Him hammer down the bump. Woman av hous kum & sae.
heer thees sigs must be yers. Wish I kood find my parakeet.
21. klerk...
I werk part time in offis at kollej I go tu. Boss sae tu kall 20 students and tell em
Fridae test kanselled. Aft 10 kalls, I realize I take this klass.
I went tu klass Fridae. Nowon theer. Wunder wotz rong. gotu offis.
girl at kounter: yung girl hu werk part time in offis kalled evreewon
tu tell em klass kanseled, but maby miss sumwon.
22. kow...Rushya, military...kow wandered onto runwae. Men grabed it,
put it on plane, tri tu fli it sumweer. Kow got awae & ran out bak door.
Kow fell on Jap fish boet & sank it.
23. kredit kard...woman tri tu bi stuff on web, tried tu put kredit kard in floppy disk slot.
she sed the site asked for the KK number.
24. kredit kard...I wanted tu bi stuff on kredit kard.
store klerk notis I hadnt sined the bak av the KK. Her sed I gotta duit.
I ask wi.
her sed so her kan chek how I sine the reseet with the bak av the KK.
So I sined both. Klerk karefully kompared the 2 & sed it is kloes nuff tu du.
25. laeoff...
goodbi lunch for a werker hu got laed off ("downsized").
manager sed, "This is fun. We shood du this more often."
26. life raft...
Boeing werkers steel life raft from a 747.
put it in neerbi river. Koest Gard helikopter kum, homing on the emerjensee beekun.
em dont werk for Boeing no more.
27. offis klerk...tipist run lo on tiping paper & ask boss wot tu du.
boss sed yuze paper for kopy masheen.
klerk put his last blank tiping paper intu kopy masheen & made 5 kopees av it.
28. offis manual...page 16 of the HP "Environmental, Health & Safety Handbook:
"Blink your ielids periodically tu lubricate your ies."
29. plae around...
The naber woman went tu Germany and had a won nite stand with a German bloke.
Tracey sae "Oe! The baby will kum out speeking German!"
29. poisun kontrol...
woman kalled poison kontrol... her dotter ate ants.
I sed ants wont hert yu.
woman sed her gave dotter ant poison tu kill the ants.
I sed take dotter tu Emerjensee room now.
30. power line...
Konnektikut hav power transmit lines on big towers.
a man klimb a tower neer I-91. Stop bout 60 ft up tu drink beer.
need tu pee. Power line hav 115,000 volts. kan get spark 6 ft awae.
It blo him off the tower. kontrol room see a volt spike on the line & sen sumwon tu look.
1 ded body, fli open, smoking gun, 1 beer left wae up in the tower.
31. power shortaej...
a werker plugged her power strip intu itself never figgered out wi the lektrons never kame on.
32. puter game...gie plae "tomb raeder" on puter, got xsited, & shot it with shotgun.
Kops took awae his gun.
33. puter nubee...kalled tek support & sed the skreen sed "hit redee wen redee".
tek support...well?
nubee how du me no if I'm redee?
34. puter support...
woman kalled puter support...theers smoke kumming from the bak of my terminal.
du yu gies hav a fire downtown?"
35. kar...man in akseedent, van roll over & pin him under it.
nowon heer his kri for help til a makaw imitate him. Then sumwon kum.
36. sex...Faerfeeld, Kalif...woman got mad after sex & kut off his penis & thro it out.
took 5 hrs tu find it.
37. store klerk...I wanted tu bi sumthang on mi kredit kard. Klerk notis I hadnt sined the bak av KK.
Her sed I gotta. Me ask wi. So I kan kompare how yu sine tu reseet tu wots on the KK.
so I sined both. Klerk then karefully cheked the 2 & agreed em R kloes nuff tu du.
38. speech...
Speeker told evreewon tu tern off theer sell fones. 5 minuts later, her fone rang.
39. speed trap...kop dont katch NE speeders.
problem: kid with sine "RADAR TRAP AHED."
nuther kid 100 yards in front with sine "TIPS" and a bukket chaenj.
40. Tuerist...
I werk in small gift store kross from Seattel's Spaes Neddel=big tall thang in the ski.
Tuerist oft ask "weer is the spaes Needle?" & "weer du I get tikkets?".
41. Vakashun...600 in Italy deposited 10,000$ eech for a vakashun on Mars.
promoter promised kamel ride & trip down a Mars kanal.
take off will be delaed a wile folks.
42. Wallmart...
female vois on store loud speeker: kustomer bi the balls in toys need help.
43. War...
skuel assinement was tu rite bout WW2. 1 boy sed he koodnt find NE-thang on WW2.
but found a lot bout WW11.
446. dump...
1. for politishuns tu get tugether tu dump the prez
is like the mafia bump off the godfather (Russel Baker)
2. get a memree dump [kopy, or printout av wotz in maen memree]
3. I need sumplaes tu dump mi negativity (Van Morrisun)
4. I never thot I wood see the Werld Trade Senter pass bi me in a dump truk.
5. in the dumps=depressed, diskeraejed
6. mi kid av 2 dumped the dog in the bathtub (Erma Bombek)
7. piguns dump on yu kauz yer theer (Peter Hall)
8. the lakefront parks spent 75 yrs as the sitee dump (Pat Kolander)
447. dun in bi a sitee slikker
448. duns...
1. 1 duns roemed, wen him kame home, him look down on 1 hu staed home.
449. dutch...
1. dutch bargin=1-sided deel=other gie get the best av yu
2. dutch keraej=yu drink alkohol (wiskee) tu get up nerv
3. dutch nitengale=frog
4. dutch treet =yu pae yer wae...go on a date & both pae theer share av the kost
b. "go dutch" =same thang
450. duty...
1. a man hu did his duty, deth is natural sleep (Jorj santayana)
2. a man hu neglekt his duty is not entiteled tu sitizen rites (Tiorio)
3. bad ofishals R elekted bi good folks hu dont vote (Jorj J Nathan)
4. basik human duty is take the konsequenses [av wot yu du]
5. dont need thanks. I did mi duty, nuthang more (Henree Feelding)
6. du yer duty & dont spekt praes (Joe Addisun)
7. du yer duty & mankind will giv yu kredit, even if yu fael (Tom Jeffersun)
8. du yer duty in all thangs. kant du more, dont tri less (Robert E Lee)
9. du yer duty tudae, repent tumorro (Mark Twaen)
duty
10. duty...find yer werk & duit (Charlot P Gilman)
10. duty av eech tu be loyal tu yer konvikshuns (Ed H Chapin, 1850)
11. duty av guvt is tu make it hard for folks tu du rong & eezee tu du rite (Will E Gladstone)
12. duty av sosiety tu giv eech a chans tu fulfil theer destiny (Alex Karrel)
13. duty dodged is like debt not paed...it kum bak tu settel akkounts (Joe F Nueton)
14. duty dont hav a plaes for feer (Jon G Witteeer)
15. duty is 2 werds...humbel & just (Mathyu Prior)
16. duty is a path 2 hard for many (Luis Morris)
17. duty is for us; results for God (Jon Q Adams)
18. duty is persunal (Kalvin Kooledj)
19. duty is the other side av "rites" (Perl Buk)
duty
20. duty is wot yu spekt from others (Oskar Wild)
21. duty require faeth (Ben Disraeli)
22. duty without enthusiasm is werk, with enthusiasm is gloreeus (Will A Ward)
23. England spekt evree man tu du his duty (Horashio Nelsun)
24. evree mishun inklude yer pledj tu duty (Giuseppe Mazzini)
25. first duty av guvt is skuel the kids (Simon Bolivar)
26. first duty av society is justis (Alexander Hamilton)
27. follo yer duty, not sumwon els's (B Gita)
28. grate thangs R simpel & R 1 werd...freedum, justis, oner, duty, mersee, hope (W Churchil)
29. happy is the flower av duty (Filip Brooks)
duty
30. him hu du his duty never sin (Bagavad Gita)
31. I dreemed life is byutee. I find life is duty (Ellen S Hooper)
32. if the muzik is bad, its yer duty tu drown it out with loud talk (Oskar Wild)
33. if yu beleev it is rite, its yer duty tu werk for it (Lord Milner)
34. if yu du yer duty tu others, yu R reliabel.
If yu du yer duty tu self, em kall yu selfish (Tom Szasz)
35. it is yer duty tu take kare av yer intregity (Joe Konrad)
36. keep yer body in good helth...thats a duty (Budda)
37. konsheinshus folks see duty as paenful (Jorj Eliot)
38. life is not grate sakrafies or duty, its litter thangs (Humpree Davy)
39. luv teech better than duty (A Einstein)
duty
40. man's duty is find the truth (Plato)
41. mi nobel father, mi duty is divided (Shakespeer, Othello)
42. no rites=no dutees (Henree B Rebek)
43. our duty is tu fael in good spirits (Robert L Stevensun)
44. our duty is tu protekt the past & predikt the fyucher (Jon Ruskin)
45. ours not tu reesun wi, ours tudu or die (Alfred Tennisun)
46. restate the obvius is first duty av smart man (Jorj Orwell)
47. reward av 1 duty is the power tu du the next (Jorj Eliot)
48. take up the wite man's burden (Rudyard Kipling)
49. the duty av wise is...teech the strong theer duty & teech the week theer rites (S C Barati)
duty
50. the path av duty is the wae tu glory (Alfred Tennysun)
51. the rite tu seek truth impli the duty tu duit (A Einstein)
52. the wisper av temptashun is louder than loudest kall tu duty (Erl Wilsun)
53. tu be happy, understand yer duty tu god (Seneka)
54. tu be valueabel, duty require devoshun (A Einstein)
55. wen a dum man du wot shame him, him alwaes sae it is his duty (Jorj B Shaw)
56. wen duty & law R 1, yu R less than self (Frank Herbert)
57. wen duty bekum law, the fun faed awae (Fred vonShiller)
58. wen duty kall, many R not home
59. wen I see sumthang, its mi duty tu put it on paper (Tony van Leeuwenhoek)
duty
60. wotz yer duty? Wot the dae demand (J W vonGoethe)
61. yu shood pledj, dont hedj (Nikita Krushchev)
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