966. kaeos... (chaos in krat speek)
1. kaeos is konfuzed (Jorj Santaana, 1900)
2. kaeos is the base for reealitee (Henree Miller, 1960)
967. Kaety bar the door
968 kake...
1. wife: yuno the kake I made? The dog ate it.
man : Thats alrite, we kan get a nu dog
969 kalamitee kum in 2 tipes...yer bad forchun, others good forchun (Ambrose Beers)
970 kalifornya...
1. kalifornya is a nies plaes tu liv, if yer an orange (Fred Allen)
971. kall...
1. kall a spade a spade=speek short, kleer, plaen, tu the point
2. kall his bluff=make him sho wot him hav
3. kall me a kab. ok, yer a kab
4. kall me NE-thang sept late tu supper
5. kall off all bets=rejekt it, reset, die
6. kall on god but avoid the roks
7. kall on god for help, but kleer awae the roks wile yu waet
972. kalm...
1. kalm b4 the storm
2. kalm wether in june set the korn in tune
973. kame up smelling like roses
974. kamelot...
1. its not kamelot, but it not Kleevland eether (Kevin Wite=maer av Boston)
975. kamp follower=supporter, helper
976. kan...
1. kan a fire truk park in the fire lane?...yes
2. kan bild plane, deliver in 90 daes (Ryan Airlines tu Charles Lindberg, 1930)
3. kan I hav a kanary for Kristmas?
No, yu'll hav turkee like the rest av us
4. kan it=stop talking
5. kan it be kloudee & fogee? yes
6. kan kids in R-rated muvee go see it?...no
7. kan yu make a kandel outta eer wax ?...no
977. kan wip his wate in wild kats
978. kandy is dandy, but liquer is faster
979. kangaroo...
1. kangaroo: I hope it dont raen. I hate it wen the kids plae inside.
2. kangaroo kort=made bi sitizens, not bi guvt.
980. kanser...
1. resent diskuveree...reserch kauz kanser in rats
981. kant...
1. kant be another krisis this week, mi skedyuel is full (Henree Kisinger)
2. kant chu & walk at the same time (tu dum, or no ko-ordinaeshun)
3. kant du evreethang, kan du sumthang
dont let wot yu kant du interfer with wot yu kan (Ed E Hale)
4. kant du grate thangs, kan du small thangs with grate luv (Mother Teresa)
5. kant eet yer kake & hav it tu
6. kant fall outta a boet & hit water (insult)
7. kant fli without wings. (French)
8. kant get blood from a ternup
9. kant get blood from a rok (stone)
kant
10. kant hav evreethang...weer wood yu put it (Steev Rite)
11. kant hit a bull in the ass with a bass fiddel
12. kant hit the wide side av a barn from the inside (poor shot)
13. kant keep pig outta the mud
14. kant liv with em & kant liv without em (wemen)
15. kant make heds or taels av it
16. kant make kookees if yu dont hav do [do also meen munee]
17. kant see forest for the trees [in the wae]
18. kant see the garden for the weeds
19. kant see thru muddy water
kant
20. kant teech an old dog nu triks
21. kant unskrambel aegs
22. kant win for luzing
23. yu kant be tu rich or 2 thin
982. kapitalism...
1. kapitalism=guvt av the bizee, bi the bossy, for the bully (Arthur Seldon)
2. kapitalism: man exploit man. Soshalism:the opposit
3. kapitalism du, kommunists promis (Paul Hoffman, 1930)
983. kaptain av his soul
984. kar... (car in krat, "auto" in super-krat, "automobile" in super-super-krat)
1. 1 wae tu make old kar run better is look at pries av nu kars
2. beet drum tu drive awae evil spirits is same as
driver hu honk horn tu brake up traffif jam (Mary Kellee)
3. best kar safety devies...reer-vyu mirrer with kop in it (Dudlee Moor)
4. evreethang is sumweer els & yu gotta hav a kar tu get theer (E B Wite, 1943)
5. futil tu look at werld thru kar windo (A Einstein)
6. if all kars in the US R palesed end-tu-end,
it must be Laber dae weekend (Doug Larson)
7. if kars progressed like puters, a Rolls Roys wood kost 100$
get 1 milyun MPH, & explode evree yeer=kill evreewon inside (Robert Kriqlee)
8. if yu line up all the kars in the werld, sumwon will tri tu pass
b. sumwon will be dum nuff tu tri tu pass
9. it take 8500 bolts tu make a kar & 1 nut tu skatter all parts all over the hiwae
kar
10. kar...4-weeled motor vehikel that run up hills & run down walkers
11. kar is like clothes, without it we feel naked (Marshal Mcluhan, 1960)
12. kar is mans ego (Sir Willyum)
13. kar is mans shrine tu self (Ed McDonah)
14. kar is not oenlee thang maker kan take bak
15. kar is the protektiv shell av modern man (Marshal Mcluhan)
16. "kar pokket"...slang for gluv box in kar
17. mi wife's other kar is a broom (bumper stikker)
18. mother's role is tu deliver kids forever bi kar (Peter DeVrees)
19. never lend kar tu NE-1 yu gave birth tu (Erma Bombek)
kar
20. pedrestrean...sumwon hu thot him still has sum gas in the tank
21. sinful...yu berned a gallon av gas tu get a pak av sigs (Paul McKreedee)
22. sivilized man has lost the yuze av his feet (Ralf W Emersun, 1841)
23. trip start with 1 step, not 1 ignishun kee (Ed Abbee)
24. wot we need is a kar yu kan shuet wen it brake down (Russel Baker)
985. kardinal sin
986. kareful..be kareful, we fokused on the snake & overlooked the skorpion
987. karrot...dangel a karrot b4 him=offer reward tu indues sumwon tu du sumthang
988. karry... (carry in krat speek)
1. karry a tune=kan sing
2. karry books for yer girlfreend
3. karry koel tu Nukastel=foolish, redikulus
bak in old daes it was a koel-exporting port in England
4. karry me bak tu old Virginya
989. kart blanch=no limit, free hand
990. karv peg bi look at the hole (Korea)
991. kash...
1. "hard kash"=kash=paper munee...not kredit
original...gold or silver, later it meen metal koins
2. kash kow=stedee, safe, dependabel inkum that dont require werk
biz...the part av the biz that make the most munee
3. kash in=die
4. kash on the barrelhed=pae up=no kredit
5. redee kash=yu kan get yer hands onit fast (like its in yer pokket)
992. kast asperashuns=kritisize, degrade (Henree Feelding, 1749)
993. kast...
1. kast aspersions
2. kast bred on the water...old fashuned folk beleev it leed em tu wot em seek
3. kast perls before swine=offer sumthang av value
tu sumwon tu dum tuno its value (Langland, 1362)
4. kast the first stone=self-ritecheeus hipokrit
994. kat...
1. bell the kat...from story bout mouses put bell on kat so em no wen kat kum
2. fat kat=rich
3. if adult du kat skan, du kids du kitty skan?
4. kat: sneeky littel furball that barf a lot
5. kat around=plae around
6. kat got yer tung?...quiet, dont sae nuthan
7. kat hav 9 lives...sum thank kat survive lotta danjerus stuff
8. kats R proof not evreethang hav a funkshun (Garrison Keiller)
9. kerositee killed the putee kat=kan be danjerus tu poke & prod
10. let the kat outta the bag=tell a sekret
from middel aejes...moslums okkupied south Italy & prohibit pork (pigs)
blak market sell small pigs, hid in a bag or sak.
krooks tri tu cheet bier bi put kat in bag insted av pig.
if hav mishap & bag open, kat jump out...giv awae the kon.
11. like a kat on a hot tin roof=agitated, nervus
12. like herding kats=no hope, no wae
13. look like the kat that swalloed the kanaree=look giltee, ashamed, sheepish
14. look wot the kat dragged in=be funny wen freend/kin kum in
15. more than 1 wae tu skin a kat=yuzyually kan du wotever several waes
16. not possabel tu keep dignitee & kat at same time
17. plae kat & mous with=plae with, toy, teez
18. raen kats & dogs=hevee raen
19. wen the kats awae the mouses plae=wen boss/parent awae, everywon goof-off
20. wile the kat is awae, the rat will plae
995. katch...
1. he koodnt katch a kold if it had handels
2. katch 22=2 rules go round & round in serkel forever
3. katch as katch kan
4. katch red-handed=katch sumwon in middel av a krime (Walter Skot, 1805)
5. katch sum z's=sleep, nap
996. kats meow
997. kattywumpus=off, at an angel, off tu side, krooked
998. kaus or kauz...(cauze in krat speek)
1. a good war will hallo a good cause (Fred Nietzshe, 1890)
2. big caus & littel man dont go tugether (Nehru)
3. first kaus=freedum vs tyranny (Hanna Arendt, 1950)
4. In war trivial kauz kan leed tu big chaenj (Julius Seesar, 50bc)
5. men R blind in theer kauz (Haewood Brown, 1930)
6. The dif tween good man & bad man is the kauz him werk for (Will James, 1900)
7. The silent majoritee dont trust em hu push kauses (Brian Moor)
8. Truth never hert just kauz (Gandi)
999. kee... ("key" in superkrat)
1. kee kee will never open a door? (1 av Florida Kees)
1. kee tu fael is tu tri tu pleez all
999. keep...
1. Keep a broke arm inside yer sleev (Chineez)
2. keep a stiff upper lip
3. keep an open mind
4. keep at bae=keep sumthang far nuff awae so yu R safe from it
5. Keep body and soul tugether
6. keep freends kloes, enemees even kloeser (Sun Tzu)
7. keep hed up, but keep nose at freendlee level (Max Forman)
8 Keep it 7 yeers & it bound tu kum in handee (Russya)
9 Keep it simple dummy
keep
10. keep it under yer hat (dont tell)
11. keep konshens kleer & never feer (Ben Franklin)
12. keep me on pins & needels
13. keep mum=dont sae NE-thang
14. keep old memrees & yung hope (Arseen Houssae)
15 Keep outta mi haer
16. keep pluggin (werkin on it)
17. keep posted=keep up-tu-date
18. keep self kleen kauz yu R the windo yu see the werld thru (Jorj B. Shaw)
19 Keep the ball rolling
keep
20 Keep up with the Joneses (1913)
21. Keep the kards and letters kuming
22. Keep the plug in the jug (dont drink)
23. keep the sun in yer faes & yu wont see shadoes (Helen Keller)
24. keep the wolf from the door (gotta werk tu feed famlee)
25. keep up with the jonees
26. keep wolf from the door=make nuff munee tu liv on
27. keep yer chin up
28. Keep yer fingers krossed=hope for good luk
29. keep yer freendships in konstant repaer (Sam Jonsun, 1770)
keep
30. keep yer hed about yu
31. Keep yer hed abuv water
32. keep yer hed on
33. keep yer hed up & yer nose down (Max L Forman)
34. keep yer Ie on the (ball, target, klok, onit)
35. Keep yer ie on the ball
sholder tu the weel
nose tu grindstone
feet on the ground
hed on yer sholders
now, tri tu du sumthang
36. Keep yer ie on the donut, not on the hole
37. Keep yer ies open b4 marriage and half shut afterward
38. Keep yer ies peeled
39. Keep yer ies wide open b4 marriage and half shut after
keep
40. Keep yer mouth shut wen yer in deep water (Sidnee Golf)
41. Keep yer nose kleen
42. keep yer nose tu the grinestone (werk)
43. Keep yer powder dri=protekt yer stuff so it will werk wen yu need it
(Oliver Kromwell, 1649)
44. keep yer shirt on=stae kalm, paeshens, waet, dont rush in
In old daes, normal tu take off shirt b4 fite, so it wont get torn & dirty.
45. keep yer shop [take kare av it], & it will keep yu.
1000. Kelly is under that hat kauz his legs stik out
1001. keraej... ("courage" or kerosity in superkrat )
see also...diskeraej
1. 1 man with keraej make a majority (Andru Jaksun)
2. a lotta talent is lost for want av keraej (Sidnee Smith)
3. a man hu wont die for sumthang is not fit tu liv (Martin L King)
4. all dreems kum true if yu hav the keraej tu fite for em
5. brave...yer the oenlee won hu no yer afraed (Frank P Jones)
6. feer is the father av keraej & mother av safety (Henree Tweedee)
7. fine line tween keraej & fool. 2 bad its not a fens
8. fizikal keraej is kommon, moral keraej rare (Mark Twaen)
9. giv me the keraej tu du wotz rite
even tho I thank its hopeless (Chester W Nimitz)
keraej
10. hav the keraej av yer konvikshuns
11. it take as much keraej tu tri & fael (Ann M Lindberg)
12. it take keraej tu bekum wot yu wanna be insted av wot others tri tu make yu intu
13. it take keraej tu stand & speek, & keraej tu sit & listen (W Churchil)
14. keep feer tu self, share keraej (Robert L Stevensun)
15. keraej...kant see round korner, but go round it NE-wae (Mignon McLaughlin)
16. keraej...yer skared tu deth, but yu tri NE-wae (Jon Wayne)
17. keraej...yu tri even tho yuno yu mite luze (Tom Kraus)
18. keraej=du wot yer afraed tu du (Eddee Rickenbakker)
19. keraej=graes under presshuer (E Himingwae)
keraej
20. keraej av yer konvictions
21. keraej is fire, bully is smoke (Ben Disraeli, 1840)
22. keraej is master av feer, not absens av feer (Mark Twain)
23. keraej is not lak av feer, but yu see sumthang els more portant (Ambrose Redmoon)
24. keraej is the base tu preserv all other virchues (Sam Jonsun)
25. keraej is the ladder all other virchues stand on (Klaer Bueth Lues)
26. keraej is tu see that sumthang is more portan than feer (Ambrose Redmoon)
27. kerosity go with vigorus mind (San Jonsun, 1770)
28. life expand or shrink in proporshun tu yer keraej (Anais Nin, 1968)
29. most hav more keraej than em thot (Dale Karagee)
keraej
30. paeshens=moral keraej + fizakal timid (tom Hardy, 1870)
31. skru up yer keraej (Skakespeer)
32. skru up yer keraej & yu wont skru up.
33. sukses is not forever, faelyer is not deth,
Keraej will keep yu going (Winstun Churchil)
34. sumtimes keraej is a quiet vois that sae "I will tri agin"
35. take as much keraej tu tri & fael as tu tri & sukseed
36. the test av manhood is how much is left inside
wen yu luze all outside (Orison Marden, 1920)
37. wanna liv, but redee tu die (Gilbert Chestertun)
38. yu gotta be skared tu hav keraej (Ed Rickenbakker)
39. yu gotta survive bad times tu develop keraej (Barbara Angelis)
1002. Kerree faver=klaem tu be onest & grate wen yu R a krook & baboon
1003. Kerreeus... (curiosity in krat speek)
1. 6 onest servants teeched me all me no
Em R...wot, wi, wen, how, weer, & hu (Rudyard Kipling)
2. Kerrossitee is proud konfess yer ignorant (Leonard Rubinstein)
3. Kerrossitee killed the kat (putty kat)
4. Kerrossitee konker feer more than bravery (James Stefens)
5. kerrossitee kyuer boredum. No kyuer for kerrossitee (Dorthy Parker)
6. milyuns seed the appel fall, Nueton asked wi (Bernard Baruch)
7. Theer R no foolish quesshuns (Charles P Steinmetz)
1004. Kerses, like chickens, kum home tu ruest (Chauser, 1360)
1005. kertasee...
1. kertasee yu oe, respekt yu ern, giv luv (Ruth Brown)
1006. Kids... (child or children in krat speek)
1. 1 thang kids weer out faster than shues...parents (Jon J Plomp)
2. a kid av 5 wood understand this. Go fetch a kid av 5 (Groucho Marx)
3. a kid kan get almost as much fun from a 200$ toy as from a worm
4. a wise father no his kid (Will Shakespeer)
5. ask a kid, em no evreethang (Joe Joubert)
6. bi the time a sun realize maby father no best, him hav a sun (Charles Wadswerth)
7. dont diskus sex with small kids...em dont hav NE-thang nu tu add (Fran Lebowitz)
8. evree man hav a kid inside that wanna plae (Fred Nietzshe)
9. first yu hafta teech it tu talk. Then teech it tu be quiet (Prochnow)
kids
10. God made parents tu make kids happy bi giv em sumthang tu ignore (Ogden Nash)
11. how tu keep the kids at home? Let the aer outta the tires (Dorthy Parker)
12. humans R the oenlee animal that hav kids on perpus
sept for guppees wich eet theer yung (P J O'Rourk)
13. I am fond av kids, sept for boys (Luis Karol)
14. I hav good-lookin kids. Thank goodness mi wife cheet on me (Rodnee Dangerfeeld)
15. I hav the braen av a 4-yr old. I Bet hes glad tu get rid av it (Groucho Marx)
16. I like kids...fried (W C Feelds)
17. I like kids, aft em kri & sumwon take em awae (Nansee Mitford)
18. I like kids, but kant eet a hole 1
19. I thot I noed all theer is tuno bout kids, then gave birth tu 1
kids
20. I was the imajinaree freend av the kid next door (Emo Filips)
21. If yer parents didnt hav kids, yu wont eether (Dik Kavet)
22. Kids...at first em luv theer parents, then judj em
if yu liv long nuff, em mae forgiv yu (Oskar Wild)
23. Kids are innosent & luv justis. Adults R wikked & want mersee (G K Chesterton)
24. Kids ask quesshuns wise men kant anser
25. Kids dont listen tu oldsters, but em du wot em see yudu (James Baldwin)
26. Kids hav nasty habit...em repeet wot yu sed, werd for werd
27. Kids liten up the houshold, em never tern off NE lites (Ralf Bus)
28. Kids mimik the parents no matter how hard we tri tu teech em manners
29. Kids need more models, less kritiks (Karolin Kotes)
kids
30. Kids nowadaes R tirants. Kontradikt parents. Gobbel food.
Terrize Teechers (Sokrates, 400bc)
31. Kids R a komfort in yer old aej & put yu theer faster 2 (Lionel Kaufman)
32. Kids R a wae tu make shuer yu never hav NE disposabel inkum (Dave Barry)
33. Kids R grate at skrambel...eezee tu beet & fun tu cheet (Fran Lebowitz)
34. Kids R natural kopee-kats. Em akt like theer parents
dispite how hard we tri tu teech em manners
35. Kids R nonprediktabel. Yu never no wot
nonkonsistasee em will katch yu in next (Frank Jones)
36. Kids R not happy with nuthang tu ignore
Thats wot parents R for (Ogden Nash, 1933)
37. Kids R poor mans riches
38. Kids R stikky, even if yu just washed em (Fran Lebowitz)
39. Kids R tirants. Kontradikt parents,
gobbel food, terarize teecher (Sokrates, 420bc)
kids
40. Kids repeet werd for werd wot yu shood not hav sed
41. Kids sae wot em heer at home
42. Kids shood be seed but not herd
b. & not hid
43. Kids suk the mother wen yung & the father wen older
44. Kiss the kids goodnite b4 em gotu bed
provided yu kan waet long nuff for em tu get home
45. kleen the hous b4 the kids leev for good
is like shuvel walk wile it still sno (Fillis Diller)
46. lern stuff from yer kids. How much paeshens yu hav for zampel (Frank Jones)
47. littel kid=hedake, big kid=hartake (Italy)
48. madness is hereditary...yu get it from yer kids (Sam Levensun)
49. mi kids refuze tu eet NE-thang that didnt dans on TV (Erma Bombek)
kids
50. mi name is no-no, but grandma kall me preshus
51. most satisfiing...tu see kids hu now hav teens av theer oen (Doug Larsun)
52. never hav kids, oenlee grand kids (Gore Vidal)
53. no wunder folks R so horribel...em start as kids (Kingslee Amis)
54. normal kid dont akt normal often
55. oenlee 2 thangs kids share without foers:
dazeezes & how old mother iz (Ben Spok)
56. smak yer kid evree dae. If yu dont no wi, him du (Joee Adams)
57. stronjest influens on kids is the unlived life av the parents (C J Jung)
58. The first half av R lives iz ruened bi R parents
sekond half bi R kids (Klarens Darro)
59. The gods visit the sins av fathers on the kids (Euripides)
kids
60. The trubel with kids...not reternabel (Quentin Krisp)
61. theer is no tuff kid. Just boil him 10 ours & hes tender (W C Feelds)
62. theer is oenlee 1 pretty kid in the werld, & evree mother hav it (Chineez)
63. theer R 2 thangs yu R never preped for...twins (Josh Billings)
64. til I was 13, I thot mi name was shutup (Joe Namath)
65. tu advise kids, find out wot em want & giv it tu em (HST)
66. yu kan lern a lot from kids. zampel...how much paeshents yu hav (Frank P Jones)
67. yu look pretty dirty, Susee.
thank yu. I look pretty wen I'm kleen 2.
68. yuno yer kids R groing up wen em ask quesshuns yukan anser (Jon Plomp)
1007. kik...
1. kik a man wen him down
2. kik the bukket=die
3. kik the priks=rebel ginst "authoritees"
God sed this tu Saul & him konverted & bekame st Paul
4. kik up his heels like a kow go tu pascher
5. kik up yer heels=dans
1008. Kill...
1. dont kill the gues that lae gold aegs
2. evree killer yu kill never kill agin (Bill Maeher)
3. Kill 2 birds with 1 rok (acheev 2 goels at same time)
4. Kill em with kindness
5. Kill no more than yu kan eet (Ben Franklin)
1009. Kill time...
1. a book tu kill time, for em hu like it ded (Rose Macaulae)
[her kritize the book]
2. If yer gonna kill time, werk it tu deth
3. if yu want tu kill time, werk it tu deth (Sam Levonson)
4. like yu kan kill time & it wont hert (Henree D Thoro, 1850)
5. man mae tri tu kill time, but time kill him (Dion Boucikault)
6. sitee folk bi time, kuntree folk kill time,
all hope for gooder time (Ed Hoagland)
7. tu kill time, kommittee meet is perfekt
1010. Kilroy was heer
1011. Kind... (kindness in krat speek)
see also...nies
1. a kind werd is never lost (Authur Helps, 1860)
2. be kind tu eech other (Bible)
3. be kind tu folks on the wae up
kauz yu mae meet em on the wae down (Wilson Mizner, 1930)
4. faer & soft go far (Miguel DeCervantes, 1600)
5. Hard tu be kind tu all (Filo, 200ad)
6. Him hu is kind tu yu is redee tu duit agin (Ben Franklin)
7. I bent truth tu be kind. I be more shuer av kind than av truth (Robert Brault)
8. if those hu dont oe us, dont giv tu us, how poor we wood be (Tony Porchia, 1943)
9. if yu dont hav charity in yer hart, yu hav hart problems (Bob Hope)
kind
10. if yu gotta lie tu be kind, yer sik (Aeschylus, 500bc)
11. Kind is duabel (Sam Jonsun)
12. Kind werd is like spring dae (Russya)
13. Kind werds du much, kost littel (Blaise Paskal, 1650)
14. Kindest werd is unkind werd not sed
15. Kindness...dum kan speek it & def kan heer it (Christian Bovee, 1890)
16. Kindness...blind see it & def heer it (Mark Twaen)
17. Kindness beget kind (Greek)
18. Kindness is never waested (Aesop, 600bc)
19. Kindness is stronger than foers
kind
20. Kindness is the sunshine that feed virchu (Robert ingersol, 1890)
21. Kindness kan du more than foers (Publilus Syrus, 100bc)
22. Kindness make yu feel good if yu giv it or get it (Frank Klark)
23. Kindness persuae more than foers (Aesop, 600bc)
24. Soft werds R eezeeer tu swallo if yu hafta eet em
25. swallo mad werds unsed dont hert the digesshun (W Churchil)
26. yu dont no wen it will be tu late tu be kind (Ralf W Emersun)
27. yu kant du kindness 2 soon, kauz yu dont no wen is 2 late (Emersun)
1012. Kinfolk...
1. a man had problem with visiting kinfolk, so...
He borroed munee from the rich 1's & loned it tu the poor 1's
nun has ever kum bak
1013. King...
1. kingdum kum=life after deth
1014. kiss...
1. a kiss is a trik tu stop the talk (Ingrid Bergman)
2. a kiss is a wae tu get 2 so kloes
em kant see nuthang rong in the other (Reen Yasenek)
3. a kiss without a hug is a flower without the smell
4. drive & kiss girl...yu dont giv girl proper tenshun (Einstein)
5. em sae kisses R the lingo av luv.
so wi dont yu sae sumthang?
6. I was out riding & the kissing bandit atakked
he kissed yu?
he kissed the hoers..
7. if a kiss speek volums, its not a first edishun (Klare Witing)
8. if kisses was the fun in bed
1 woman the other wood wed (Shakespeer)
9. if in dout if tu kiss a girl, giv her the benefit av the dout (Tom Karliel)
kiss
10. Im for kiss a lady's hand, yu gotta start sumweer (Sacha Guitry)
11. kiss and tell (tell all bout a sordid affaer)
12. kiss av deth...Judis kissed Jesus & then evreethang went tu hell
13. kiss is like salt water...drink & thirst inkrees (Chineez)
14. kisses dont last, kooks du (Jorj Meredith, 1900)
15. never let a fool kill yu & never let a kiss fool yu.
16. oenlee thang werth steeling is a kiss
17. steel a kiss mae be petty larsenee, or it mae be grand.
18. wot lies lurk in kisses (Heinrich Heine)
1015. Kit and kabuedel (WW 1 term for soldyers pak)
1016. klass...
1. theer R 3 klasses in Amerika:
upper middel, middel middel, & loer middel (Judith Martin)
2. theer R 3 klasses...hi, middel, lo, subdivided many waes (Jorj Orwell, 1920)
3. I bak masses ginst klasses (Will Gladstone, 1860)
4. let others hav karisma, me got klass (Jorj Bush)
5. werking klass=paent hous for pae
middel klass =paent yer hous tu save munee (Lawrens Sutton)
1017. klassik...a book folks kood reed bu dont (Mark Twain)
1018. kleen...
1. for sumthang tu be kleen, sumthang els gotta be dirtee
2. kleen as a wistel
3. kleen bill av helth...originally was guvt paper
tu sae a ship and/or port dont hav dazeezes=ok tu kum on land
biz...the kumpanee finanses R in good shape
4. kleen hous=kleen out hous good at start av spring.
now yuzed bi management tu thro out evreewon & replaes em.
5. kleen slate=start anu=forget the old & start over
6. kleen sweep=out with the old, in with the nu
7. kleen yer finger b4 yu point at mi spots (Ben Franklin)
1019. kleenleeness is next tu godleeness=neet (Jon Weslee, 1725)
kleenleeness is next tu nonpossabel
1020. kleer...
1. kleer as a bell
2. kleer as mud=not kleer
3. kleer konshens is gooder than welth (Filipino)
4. kleer konshens kum from poor memree
5. kleer konshens make soft pillo
6. kleer the deks (navy)=get redee tu fite
7. kleerer than glass
1021. kleeshae... ("cliche" in French...same as krat speek)
kleeshae=wise old saeing yuzed 2 much so it luze value (Dikshunaree def)
reel life...repeeted so many times, we get sik av it
1. aliens...alwaes bout same size & shape as humans
alwaes speek english, inkluding the lokal slang
alwaes dress exakt same
2. asteroid go thru spaes but make nois like kar without muffler
3. bad gies R alwaes killed bi snake. Hero pik up snake with bare hands
4. bar...hero alwaes get in a fite.
hero drink alkohol like water, or him order milk
a littel water-n-faes tern out-kold drunk sober at wons
5. bathroom...oenlee purpus av bathroom
is tu hav windo so good gie kan exkape from bad gies
6. beerd... man lost in junjel/desert/mountins
go a week & dont shave & dont get beerd
but in bar...him drink, get 3-dae stubbel in 3 hrs
7. bild a better moustrap & the werld will beet a path tu yer door
8. binokulers...sumwon look thru binokulers.
Muvee alwaes sho 2 serkels that overlap.
9. bomb...set tu xplode 3 ours later, so hero kan spend half the film tu find
& defuze it as klok run down tu .0001 sek
b. bad gie hav bomb size av koke kan, it blo-up big bilding,
but dont hert neerbi stuff
kleeshae
10. byuetee is in the ie av the beholder
11. muvee...foot chaes (bad gies chaes good gie or woman)
bad gie chaes woman...her will alwaes trip & fall, no matter weer or wen
chaesed alwaes stop tu tern over barrels wich bad gies go round without slo down
if man & woman run from bad gies...woman fall behind, then trip & fall.
man & woman run awae, em hold eech other in a wae that prevent em from muve good.
wemen alwaes run in hi heels
12. deth...person with most hope or britest prospekts is alwaes killed
hero will die with a krowd av freends around
if sumwon is bout tu die, yu hold theer hand & pat it.
Dont tri tu get dokter or kall ambulans
last werds will be eezee tu heer, make sens, & be uplifting
13. dont put off til tumorro wot yu kan du tudae
14. eet...heroes alwaes eet at grate tabel at best eeteeree in town
15. explode...all blasts R in slo-mo & repeeted from 5 vyupoints
16. fite..."marshal-arts"...hero fite 20 bad gies, em alwaes line up & fite 1 at a time
aesyun marshal arts: wen good gie & bad gie fite, 1 hit other a
fyu times, then switch & other hit a fyu times, then switch...
if bad gie yuze nife, it is in 1 hand & him never yuze other hand.
the "viktum" will alwaes yuze both hands tu tri tu stop that 1 hand.
17. fli... (aerplane, helikopter, ets)
aerplane hav enjin problem...immediat steep dive
with shreeking nois that get louder & louder
yuzyually pilot pull up on weel so hard, him rip it outta the floor
aerplane krash...alwaes behind hill or trees so oenlee see flames/blast in bakground
aerplane run outta gas & krash, it alwaes xplode, big fire
but evreewon walk awae unhert (& never dirty)
folks stand bi running plane, heli, ets & talk in normal vois
if bad gie fli plane & sumwon shuet at it, it explode in aer
if good gie fli plane, it make krash landing, hero pull others out & drag em awae
then plane blo up. Oft, flaming trash land next tu em.
18. flood...big wave kum down kanyun, wash over bridj 300 ft abuv streem,
wave kuver pikup truk on bridj, but it not washed awae & evreewon inside ok
19. fone...all fone numbers start with 555...Ma Bell insist onit
evreewon hav fone next tu bed. In muvee, wen fone ring him/her alwaes
nok fone onto floor, then grope around for it.
If hero kall sumwon, it take exaktlee 3 rings tuno nowon will anser.
If the fone dont werk, just thump it a fyu times, it kum alive bi majik
most kommon fone talk..."hello, yes, ok, rite, thanks"
then tern tu sumwon in room & spend 5 minuts explaening wot kall was bout.
nowon in muvee ever look up a fone number...em pik up fone & dial (old tipe fone)
kleeshae
20. hero...hero alwaes get tu the seen 2 sekons aft the villan leev
hero alwaes hav femael sidekik or enemee (same persun kan be both)
hero go 4 daes without food/drink/sleep & haer never get ruffeled
hero never sho paen wen 5 thugs beet up him,
but if girl tri tu kleen his faes after, he kant take it
hero's nu wife get bloed tu smitherines just aft wed or on honeemoon
if hero hav a sidekik (Tonto tu lone ranger), him DONT hav female
if muvee sae in first fyu minuts that sidekik hav famlee, sidekik will die
wen sidekik is a wertless bun that kan never du NE-thang rite,
theer will be krushal seen neer end wen sidekid save hero
21. hert...hero fite 5 goons, bilding fall down on him, slog thru mud,
in kar krash, ets...but never bruezed & never mussed
if good gie (not the hero) get shot him die then & theer
lite tap on hed kauz amneshia
persun shot will talk, krak jokes, tell the kee tu solv the mistree, ets
war... hero charj intu 50 masheen guns & never a skratch
war... soldyer get hit 50 times, but still hav time tu talk bout home
western...bad gie is 5 miles awae on horizon,
good gie take out rifel & kill him with 1 shot
22. hous...nowon in hous tri tu get out wen in danjer
hous on fire, bad gie with gun, ets
subjekt mae run from room-tu-room, or bak intu korner, but never leev hous.
apartment in Paris...look out windo, bi golly its the Eiffel Tower
if heer straenj sound outside, em alwaes run outside
if it is nite, em tern on lites, then tri tu look out windo
female in hous, sumthang stalk her, kat jump on her
her relax & 2 minuts later bad gie jump on her
23. identikal twins...1 is alwaes good, the other very bad
24. jael...alwaes hav brutal gard & evil monster warden
em in jael alwaes hav gangs & super-monster tu boss em
25. kab...in muvee, passenjers never pae, or alwaes hav exakt amount
all get in at wons with no trubel, unless...
if hero run for life, him gotta chaes kab down the street
26. kar...driver stop wenever & weerever the idea pop in his hed
2 kars go opposit wae on 2-line hiwae
relativ speed=120MPH, hero rekonize driver in other kar
alwaes sumwon karry a larj plate glass kross the street
drive down sidewalk...evreewon will get outta the wae in the nik av time
driver tern tu passenger & talk 10 minuts...no prob
if hero tri tu run from bad gies, the kar wont start
if in bak seet, yu R in exakt middel
if kar skid, it alwaes make loud skreeching nois
if speeding kar nik parked kar, if fli up in aer but parked kar dont muve
kar chaes...bad gies alwaes leev kees in ignishun, yuzyually leev engin running
kar chaes in sitee...will alwaes hav a big truk kum outta side street
kar go over klift...hero grab klift edj & dangel.
kar krash...hero pull out nokked-out passengers
& drag em awae, then the kar blo up.
muvee kar is never lokked. Konvertabels alwaes hav top down.
wind blo in kar make hero haer wave nies, never tuch haer on hed av woman
27. kids...all kids R smarter than evree adult
10-yr old kan brake intu NE puter in the werld
a kid never die in muvee, even if elektrokuted with 50,000 volts
kid du grate wen left alone at home without food, heet, munee, ets
28. kop/detktive/mistree...
hero kop kan oenlee solv a kase after get supended or fired
homiside detektiv is krazee alkoholik
brooding loner, divorsed & widoed, unstabel maniak
kop bosses R alwaes mad at the hero. xtra mad if hero is a kop.
massiv gun fite, 1000's av bullets, bilding xplode, fires, bombs
if a kop sho, its at the end tu see the tael lite av kar with last bad gie
29. lok...NE-1 kan open NE lok with kredit kard or paper klip
if its a safe, yu gotta yuze stetoskope & fansee elektronik boxes
kleeshae
30. many hands make lite werk
31. middel aejes
sord-fite, hero alwaes kauz villan tu tumbel down staers
normal folk R dirty, disheveled, with beerds, torn klothes...but perfekt teeth
prinses alwaes hav lady-n-waeting
yer hoers never hav problem til the bad sheriff is on yer tael
if in a kart/wagon/carriaej, weel kum off wen bad sheriff on yer tael
32. muvee...
characters go thru storm, mud, mad beests, weeks in desert, ets:
but look like just outta byutee shop
evreewon eet & drink like starving, but is slim & never gotu bathroom
evreewon in traffik kontrol tower is alwaes a chaen-smoker
if aerplane hav a nun onit, it will krash
if NE-won koff or sneez, him is on his deth-bed
if persun 1 hit p2 on hed (alwaes from behind), muvee oenlee show muving arm
never sho hand, or wepon, or the hit
if piston aerplane hav enjin prob, windsheeld is kuvered with oil
kee witness get shot & is bout tu die, talk bout evreethang
sept the 1 missing thang we need tu solve the mistree
[yuzyually the muvee told us the anser but the hero dont noit]
kommershal flite...if pilot get sik, die, go nuts,ets...
alwaes hav a passenger hu is a student pilot hu no how tu take off but not land
war...aerplane staef beech & bullets hit 1 inch apart
[at 300MPH, shood be 44 ft apart]
wemen R alwaes in prerfekt helth (& perkekt kodifer) & never hav a period
Kar on ground chaes aerplane in aer, max aer speed=30MPH, max kar speed=50
33. nitemare...wen yu wake up, yu alwaes shuet uprite like releezed spring
34. no plaes like home
35. plae favorits
36. produkts...
if muvee dont hav a sponser, gas stashuns never sho a brand name
wen NE-1 pik up sig/buez, yu see the brand name
& it stae in senter, still for 5 sekonds
if hero duit, muvee freez on the sig for a wile
37. radio/TV...
hero tern on radio just in time tu heer report "The strangler is on the luse"
or sumwon kall "tern on channel 13", him du & heer the report
from the start (never in middel, never sumthang els)
tern on TV, its alwaes kowboy & indian chaes seen
38. slo & stedee win the raes
39. yer freend is mi freend
1022. kleptomania
1. wen mi kleptomania akt up, me take sumthang for it
1022. klever...
1. klever is good, wise gooder
2. klever is not wise (Euripides, 450 bc)
3. klever persun tern big prob intu littel won (Chineez)
4. the best klever is tu be abel tu hide it (Frans Rochfoukauld)
1023. klimat... (climat in krat speek)
1. koel is portabel klimat (Ralf W Emersun)
[bern koel tu make heet tu keep warm in winter. Tudae we bern gas]
1024. klimb...
1. klimb a ladder 1 rung at a time
2. klimb on the bandstand=join the krowd=go with the flo
3. klimb the wall=so bored, bout tu go bonkers
1025. klink... the klink=a prisun on klink street in London
so now "the klink"=slank for NE jael or prisun
1026. klip...
1. klip his wings=restrikt
2. klip joint=em charj 2 much
1027. kloek & dagger=spi
1028. kloes, kloesed... (klose) (closed in krat speek)
1. I no sumthang that never kloes.
wot?
yer mouth
2. kloes, but no seegar
3. kloes isn't good nuff
4. kloes make the man (or not, depend on wot yu thank)
5. kloes oenlee kount in hoersshues
6. kloes shave
7. kloes that pneumonia hole/ gap
8. kloes the door
9. kloes yer ies=ignor it wen sumwon brake miner rule
10. kloesed mind is like a kloesed book...just a blok av wood (Chineez)
11. kloeser than the hair on a hog
1029. klok...
1. broke klok is rite 2 times a dae
2. how far du kloks get wen em run?
3. klok run wen nowon watch it
4. mi klok will run 30 daes without rewind it
how long if yu wind it?
5. did yer watch stop wen yu dropped it on the floor?
shuer, did yu thank it wood go thru the floor?
1030. kloset...
1. amazing...wen sumthang hand in kloset a wile, it luze 2 sizes
2. wemen luv wot em bi & hate wot is in theer kloset (Mignon McLaughlin)
1031. klothes... (clothing in krat speek)
1. distrust NE enterprise that require nu klothes (Henree D Thoro)
2. dress make sens oenlee if it inspire man tu take it off (Fransis Sagan)
3. dress that zip up the bak, bring husband & wife tugether (James Boren)
4. fashun weer out more klothes than man (W Shakespeer)
5. finest klothes is yer skin, but society demand more (Mark Twaen)
6. latest thang in klothes...the girl yu ben looking for
7. I looked for kamoflawj klothes, but koodnt find em
8. klothes dont make the man
9. klothes kant be nondecent, the weerer kan (Robert Heinlein)
10. klothes make the man
11. klothes make the man. Naked men dont hav no influens on sosietee (Mark Twain)
12. sell yer klothes, keep yer thots (Henree D Thoro)
13. shined shues dont bring virchue (Ann Petri)
14. the purpus av klothes is tu hide yer bad parts.
yu need tu weer a hat.
15. unmenshunables=part av wemen klothes never menshuned in publik sept for full paej ads
16. wemen luv wot em bi & hate wot is in theer kloset (Mignon McLaughlin)
17. wide will weer, tite will tare
1032. kloud...
1. kloud 9
2. kloud-ku-ku-land=nuts, krazy, ku-ku
3. klouds gather b4 a storm
4. klouds that thunder mae not raen
1033. klub...
1. I hav a mind tu join a klub & hit yu over the hed with it (Groucho Marx)
1034. klumsee... (clumsy in krat)
1. fall down walking from the hous tu the barn
2. her ran intu the ladder after I put it awae in the loft
3. klumsee as a bull in a china shop (or in a china kloset)
4. klumsee as a nu born kolt
1035. klutch at a straw=yu so desperat, yu'll tri NE-thang
1036. koers...
1. koers av tru luv never run smueth (Shakespeer, midsummer nite's dreem)
2. set yer koers bi a star, not bi the lites av a passing ship (Omar Bradlee)
1037. koest is kleer=its safe now
from 1600...smugglers in ships neer koest hav sumwon on shore tu watch for kops
if no kops, em signal he koest is kleer
1038. koff...
1. Wi du em kall the box yu put ded folks in a koffin?
Kauz thats wot him did just B4 him die
1039. koffee...
1. awake tu the smell av koffee & bakon & aegs (J B Preestlee)
2. if yu was mi husband, I wood put poisen in yer koffee (Nansee Astor)
3. koffee...blak as hell, strong as deth, sweet as luv (Turk)
4. koffee is not mi kup av tee (Sam Goldwin)
5. mathamatrishun is a devise tu tern koffee intu therums (Paul Erdos)
6. yu like koffee blak? Wot other kolers du yu hav?
1040. koin...
1. koin a fraze=invent a nu expresshun
2. koin av the relm="legal tender"=guvt sae yu gotta yuze it
3. "other side av the koin"=other side av a subjekt or the oppasit thang
1040. kok... (cock in krat speek)
1. kok and bull storee (tall tale) also kokamaenee
2. kok av the walk
1041. kokels (or kokkels) av the hart (Chauser, 1380)
1042. koktael...theer was a yung woman av Kent
sed her no wot it ment
wen men ask her tu dine
giv her koktaels and wine
no wot it ment, but her went (noit but duit)
1043. kold...
1. itll be a kold nite in hell wen...(same as wen pig fli)
2. kold...wen politishuns walk around with hands in theer pokkets
(insted av in yer pokket)
3. kold as a blue northern
4. kold as a witches broom
5. kold as ies
6. kold blooded=never panik, never sho emoshuns
7. kold dae in July
8. kold feet sleep apart
9. kold fish
10. kold hands, warm hart (V S Leen)
11. kold kumfort (Shakespeer)
12. kold nuff tu freez the balls off a pool tabel
13. kold nuff tu freez the nuts off a brass munkee
14. kold nuff tu freez yer tung tu the pump handel
15. kold sholder=rebuf sumwon hu tri tu be freendlee
from...polite tu feed gest. If em stae overlong & yu wanna tri
get rid av em, yu offer poor food & dont warm it=the kold sholder
16. kold turkey=tri tu stop bad habit absolute=dont duit gradual
17. kolder than a mother-in-law kis
18. so kold, lawyers hav theer hands in oen pokket
1044. kolleeg... (college in krat speek)
1. kolleeg is a fountin av noit & students R theer tu drink
2. kolleeg is not a plaes for ideas (Helen Keler)
3. kolleeg polish roks & dim diamonds (Robert G Ingersol)
4. kolleeg wont hert yu as long as yu start lernin after yu get out
5. so yer sun is in kolleeg, wotz him gonna be wen him get dun? Senile.
1045. kollekt... (collect in krat speek)
1. kollekt quotes=kollekt wisdum (Terri Guillemet)
2. most human wisdum kollekt dust in old books (Jorj Lichtesberg, 1770)
3. xpeerens is the mistakes yu kollekt (Denis Waetlee)
1046. komadee... (comic or comedy in krat speek)
1. komadee=trajedee that happened tu sumwon els (Angela Karter)
2. komadee make the unskilled laff & the lerned greev (Shakespeer)
3. komadeeun du funny stuf, good 1 du stuff funny (Buster Keeton)
4. Theers a lotta komadee on TV, but du that meen we laff in the streets? (Dik Kavet)
1047. kommit... (committed in krat speek)
1. we hav a kommitment tu xseelans heer...we all need tu be kommitted
1048. kommittee...
1. a kamel is a hoers dezined bi a kommittee (Alex Isigonis)
2. a kommittee av 1 kan get thangs dun (Joe Ryan)
3. a kommittee is a wae tu lure ideas intu a dark plaes tu be strangeled (Barnet Koks)
b. kommittee lure in ideas & strangel em
4. a kommittee keep minutes & waest hrs (milton Berl)
b. kommittee=gruep that keep minuts & luze hrs
5. football...violens+ kommittee meet (Jorj F Will)
6. if Columbus had a kommittee, he wood stil be at the dok (Arthur Goldberg)
7. if Moses was a kommittee, Israelites wood stil be in Egypt (J B Hues)
8. if puter get tu powerful, put it on a kommittee...that'll duit in.
9. kommittee...a gruep av men hu kant du NE-thang
& get tugether tu deside nuthang kan be dun (Fred Allen)
kommittee
10. kommittee...life form with 6+ legs & 0 braens
11. kommittee=a bunch av kant-du's hu agree it kant be dun (Fred Alleen, 1950)
12. kommittee=a bunch av not-willing pikked fron the not-fit tu du the not needed
(Mark Twaen)
13. kommittee is sekond tu traffik as wae tu hold bak the this kuntree (Will Rogers)
14. kommittee rules:
dont get theer on time; that mark yu as beginner
dont speek til meet is half over; mark yu as wise
Be as vaeg as possabel; yu wont irratate others
wen in dout, propose a subkommittee
be first tu muve we adjern; this make yu popular
(Harry Chapman)
15. man du thangs, not kommittees, not kumpanees (Alfred Montapent)
16. never underestimate the power av dum klods in larj grueps (kommittee or mob)
17. "normal" =dezined bi a kommittee=evree koler is grae (Rita Mae Brown)
18. tu get sumthang dun, max members=3, with 2 absent (Robert Kopeland)
19. tu kill time, kommittee meet is perfekt
1049. kommon...
see also...kommon sens
1. 2 most kommon thangs in yunivers: hydrogen & morons
2. deth is as kommon as life (Henree D Thoro, 1842)
3. England & Amerika R 2 kuntrees seprated bi a kommon tung (Jorj Bernard Shaw)
4. equal is a fars, oenlee thang all hav in kommon is yu die (Bob Dilan)
5. fizikal keraej is kommon, moral keraej rare (Mark Twaen)
6. god must hav luved kommon folk, kauz him made so many (? Abe Linkoln?)
[first in James Morgan book "Our Presidents" (1928)]
7. grandkids & grandparents get along kauz em hav kommon foe (Sam Levensun)
8. if charity was kommon, erth wood be heven & hell a mith (Charles Kolton, 1800)
9. kommon is not vulgar (Will Nazlit)
kommon
10. kommon looking folks R best, that wi god made so many (Abe Linkoln)
11. kommon man is afraed av guvt & kops (Jorj B Shaw, 1900)
12. kommon problem...diareea av the mouth & konstapated braen
13. kommon tu wanna be faemus (Oliver W Holms, 1880)
14. most kommon form av malnutrishun is fat (Mervin Deitel)
15. narro mind thank forin [exotik] is gooder than kommon (Sam Jonsun)
16. nu pinyuns R alwaes opposed just kauz em not kommon (Jon Lok)
17. sweets wen kommon luze its delite (Sakespeer)
18 the kommon man must lern tu werk (Sisero, in 55 bc)
19. The lord prefer the kommon look, thats wi him made so many plaen folk (Abe Linkoln)
kommon
20. the most hi & mitey is kommon man with power (French)
21. the most kommon fraud is tu not pae taxes (Ben Franklin)
22. The objekt av guvt is tu make the kommon man happee (Will Peveridj)
23. theer is no kyer for the kommon kold (nun for birthdaes,....)
24. wen yu du kommon thangs in unkommon wae, yu get theer tenshun (Jorj W Karver)
25. wot we spekt almost never happen, wot we dont spekt is kommon (Ben Disraeli, 1860)
26. yu kan be averaej, but dont hafta be kommon (Sat Paege)
1050. kommon Sens...
1. a handful av kommon sens is werth a bushel av lernin
2. humor is a kommon sens, dansing (Will James)
3. if yu dont katch kommon sens bi 30, yu never will
4. first get wise, then develop kommon sens (Solomon)
5. just kauz it iz kommon sens dont meen it is kommon praktis
6. kommon sens=see it as it is & du wot yu shood
7. kommon sens=the predjudises yu kollekt bi aej=18 (Einstein)
8. kommon sens dont be kommon
9. kommon sens dont be kommon praktis (Will Rogers)
kommon sens
10. kommon sens is 1000 times gooder than skueling (Robert Ingersol)
11. kommon sens is in spite av skueling (Vikter Hugo, 1880)
12. kommon sens is instinkt, nuff av it is jeenyus (Jorj B Shaw)
13. kommon sens is not as kommon as it yuzed tu be
14. kommon sens is not kommon (Voltaer)
15. kommon sens iz Jenyus in werk clothes (Ralf W Emersun)
16. kommon sens is NOT kommon (Horas Greelee, 1870)
17. kommon sens judj wot the other senses suppli (Leonardo DaVinci, 1500)
18. kommon sens without skueling is 1000 times gooder than
skueling without kommon sens (Robert G Ingersol)
19. No kommon sens, no hoers sens
kommon sens
20. nonsens is good kauz kommon sens is so rare (Jorj Santayana, 1890)
21. nuthang amaze man as much as kommon sens (Ralf W Emersun, 1870)
22. that wood be kommon sens, no plaes for it in guvt (Mark Twaen)
1051. kommunikate... (communication in krat speek)
1. tu kommunikate, yu gotta listen
1052. kommunist (communism in krat speek)
1. free speech isnt ded in Rushya...oenlee the speerkers R ded
2. kommunist boest it put nu suit on evree man
3. kommunist boest it put nu suit on evree man
Christian promis nu man in evree suit
4. kommunist is like krokadile...wen it smile, yu dont no if
it smile or gonna eet yu
5. kommunist kreed=abolish all privut propertee (Karl Marx)
6. Pravda gonna giv a pries for best politikal joke
wotz first pries?
20 yeers
7. Rushya abolished God, but God is more tolerant
1053. kompasshun...
1. kompasshun is no substute for justis (Rush Limbaug)
2. The du av kompasshun is the teer (Lord Bryon, 1800)
1054. kompetent is in the ie av the beholder (Peter Prinsapel)
1055. komplaen...
1. ads R more truthful than the nuzpaper em kum in (Tom Jeffersun)
[him komplaen bout lies the editer rite as the nuz]
2. as long as yu hav nuff, dont komplaen (Chauser, 1380)
3. at leest adam didnt hafta listen tu eve komplaen bout the man her kood hav wed
4. behind evree man is a woman hu komplaen him no good (or not so hot)
5. blak market dont hav komplaent dept
6. dont komplaen yu dont get wot yu want, be glad yu dont get wot yu dezerv
7. em hu komplaen bout taxes R av 2 klasses...men & wemen
8. evreewon komplaen bout his memree, but not his judjment (Fran Rochefoukald, 1665)
9. I had no shues & komplaened til I met a man with no feet
komplaen
10. if I had mi wae, I wood kill evree reporter,
but hell wood komplaen bi brakefast (W T Sherman)
11. If laws kood speek, em wood komplaen bout lawyers (Ed Halifax, 1920)
12. if yu steel, dont komplaen wen yu get robbed
13. if yu thro wood on the fire av others werd fite,
dont komplaen if sparks fli in yer faes (Ben Franklin)
14. it is devine tu kik grumblers (Robert H Bensun)
15. kant komplaen, but du NE-wae (Joe Walsh)
16. komplaen bout guvt is good. We R still free tu speek. (Nansee J Karmody)
17. komplaen tu sumwon hu kan help yu
18. komplaent will get yu kontempt, not pitee (Sam Jonsun, 1750)
19. konstant komplaent is poor wae tu pae for konfort (Ben Franklin)
komplaen
20. man kri at birth, komplaen all his life, & die disapointed (Will Tempel, 1700)
21. Man invented lingo from a deep need tu komplaen (Lily Tomlin? Jane Wagner?)
22. NE fool kan kritize, kondem, & komplaen, & most du (Ben Franklin)
23. never komplaen, never explaen (Henree Ford)
24. teens komplaen av nuthang-tu-du, & stae out all nite duing it (Bob Fillips)
25. the perfekt dont komplaen others dont be (Joe Addisun, 1700)
26. the werld is so over-managed, nowon no hu tu komplaen tu (Ronald Firbank)
27. the werld is sucha a mess, its hard tuno hu tu komplaen tu (Ronald Firbank)
28. untold suffering seldom is (Franklin Jones)
29. we developed lingo kauz av the need tu komplaen (Jane Wagner)
komplaen
30. wen yu want sumthang, kiss is sweeter than wine bout it
31. werld wood be dull without thangs tu komplaen bout (W S Gilbert)
32. Woman spend yeers tu chaenj the man,
then komplaen he is not the man her married (Barbara Streisand)
33. yu sae its bad tu die. Straenj komplaent from folks hu never lived (Mark Twaen)
1056. kompliment...
1. be modest is the shuer angel tu get praes (Lord Chesterfeeld)
2. flaterers look like freends, as wolfs look like dogs (Jorj Chapman)
3. I kan liv 2 months on 1 kompliment (Mark Twaen)
1057. kompromise...
1. kompromise...both sides dont get wot em want
2. kompromise=argument tween husband & wife weer both agree tu let her hav her wae
3. kompromise=kut the kake so evreewon thank him got the big pees (Ludwig Erhard)
1058. konfer...
1. konferens...yu want sumwon tu share the blame
1059. konfess is good for the sole
1060. konfident... (confidence in krat speek)
1. I hav faeth in fools. Mi freends kall it self-konfidens (Edgar Allan Poe)
2. konfidens=prepare. Yu kant kontrol the rest (Richard Kline)
3. konfidens gro slo
4. konfidens is the hinj on the door tu sukses (Mary Dumas)
5. konfidens is wot yu hav b4 yu understand the problem
6. konfidens kum from dont be afraed tu be rong (Peter T Mcintire)
7. tu get ahed, yu gotta be self konfident (Sofeea Loren)
8. yu gotta be self konfident b4 yu tri grate deeds (Sam Jonsun)
1060. konform... (conformity in krat speek)
1. 1 solushun dont impli oenlee solushun (Raemond Feist)
2. a heritik is sumwon hu see with his ies (Gothold Lessing)
3. a lotta times yu hafta pretend tu join a parade
tu get weer yu wanna go (Christofer Morlee, 1940)
4. baddest fraze="its alwaes ben dun that wae" (Graes Hopper)
5. be self...those yu mind dont matter, those hu matter dont mind (Dr Suez)
6. dont follo popular pinyun. Em with most pinyuns hav leest fakts (Beth McKenstri)
7. dont thank yer on the rite roed just kaus theers a lotta traffik
8. em hu go with the krowd alwaeds thro roks at all others (Voltaer)
b.em hu walk the well-trod path thro roks at him hu sho a nu wae
9. em hu stand for nuthang, fall for NE-thang (Alexander Hamilton)
konform
10. emansipate self from mental slavery. oenlee yu kan free self (Bob Marlee)
11. evree jenerashun laff at old fashun & R slave tu nu fashun (Henree D Thoro, 1854)
12. evree society oner live konformers & ded nonkonformers (Mignon McLaughlin, 1960)
13. evreedae du sumthang others thank is silly (Chris Morlee)
14. evreewon is a reformer til reform step on his toes (Ed How, 1911)
15. evreewon prefer beleef tu judjment (Seneka)
16. folks keep the bad habits av theer yueth,
naeshun, aej...even tho em no it is rong (Condorset)
17. forgiv him, him beleev kustums av his tribe=laws av nacher (Jorj B Shaw)
18. grate man kan keeep independent solitude in a krowd (Ralf W Emersun)
b. man kan be alone in a krowd
19. habit rule the herd (William Wordswerth, 1830)
konform
20. heerasee=man's unsatisfied serch for truth (H G Wells)
21. I dont brake rules, I test theer elastisitee (Bill Veek)
22. I dont rent spaes in mi hed tu NE-won
23. I wont kut mi konshens tu fit this yeere's fashun (Lillian Hellman)
24. if 50 milyun sae a foolish thang, its still foolish (Anatole Frans)
25. if evreewon thank the same, sumwon dont thank (Jorj Patton)
26. if yu dont kontrol yer mind, sumwon els will (Jon Allston)
27. if yu du wot yu alwaes du, yu end up with wot yu alredee hav
28. if yu kant chaenj yer mind, yu kant chaenj NE thang (Jorj B Shaw)
29. if yu obey all the rules, yu miss all the fun (Kathern Hepburn)
konform
30. in a free sosiety, yu kant solv the konflikt
tween liberty & soshal konform (Kathleen Norris)
b.in a free sosiety, konform & personal liberty alwaes fite
31. its a tradejee tu teech kids tu not dout (Klarens Darro)
32. konform=dull (Frank Dobel, 1950)
33. konformity jael freedum & kill groeth (JFK)
34. konsider wot yu giv up wen yu konform (Ralf W Emersun)
35. konvenshunal thank protekt us from paenful job...lern how tu thank (J Galbraeth)
36. kustum make folks aksept NE atrositee
fashun drive em tu get NE kustum (Jorj Bernard Shaw)
37. labels R for klothes, not folks (Martrina Navratilna)
38. man get pinyuns the wae boys lern tu spell:
bi repeet a zilyun times (Elizabeth B Browing, 1856)
39. man like tu go alone for a walk,
but hate tu stand alone in a pinyun (Jorj Santayana)
konform
40. many R ruened wen rite but differ from jenral pinyun (Ben Franklin)
41. marvelus av man tu rebel ginst sines that sae "keep off" (Karl Sandberg)
42. mediokritees kant understand wen yu wont submit (A Einstein)
43. mental slavery is mental deth, living koffin, ded sole (Robert Ingersol)
44. most prefer old problem tu nu solushun
45. nu idea is delikat. A sneer or a yawn kill it.
A quip stab it tu deth.
Frown on rite man's brow werree it tu deth. (Charls Brower)
46. nonkonformist gotta konform tu theer nonkonform klik (Erik Hoffer, 1960)
47. "normal" =dezined bi a kommittee=evree koler is grae (Rita Mae Brown)
48. not all hu wander R lost (J Tolkien)
49. not all kan be a martyr (Jon Driden, 1680)
konform
50. nu pinyuns R alwaes opposed just kauz em not kommon (Jon Lok)
51. oenlee ded fish swim with the streem (Malkolm Muggeridj)
52. orthodox...man kant get rid av old idea & kant absorb nu won (Elbert Hubbard, 1927)
53. rash man reech a konklude b4 him get tuit (Jakob Levin)
54. skuel is a hopper.
We thro yung kids in so it will stamp em intu standard shapes
kuvered from hed tu toe with ofishal rubber stamps (H L Mencken)
55. spit out hot aer, kareful wot yu swallo (Dr Sues)
56. strongest man...him hu stand alone (Henrik Ibsen)
57. sum waest tremendus energy tu seem normal (Al Kamus)
58. the oenlee konsistent folk are the ded (Al Huxlee)
59. the paen that hert most is a nu idea (Walter Bagehot)
konform
60. tri tu be original, and fael is better than tu imitate (Herman Melvil)
61. tu be different is tu be lonely, maby skared, but yer werth it (F Nietzshe)
62. tu get outta prisun, yu first gotta realize yer in jael
63. walk in the path av others...yu dont leev NE footprints
64. we R stubborn, self-destruktiv konformists (Mike Crichton)
65. wen a jeenus appeer in the werld, yu will noit
kauz all dunses gang up on him (Jonathan Swift)
66. wen sum folks agree with me, me dout meself (Kin Hubbard)
67. wen yu R with the majoritee, stop & thank (Mark Twain)
68. yu hav enemees? good. That meen yu stood up for sumthang (W Churchil)
69. yu kan be averaej, but dont hafta be kommon (Sat Paege)
1061. konfuse...
1. If yu kant konvins em, konfuze em (Harry S Truman)
1. konfushun make a masterpees (Shakespeer, Mcbeth)
1062. kongres...
see also...politiks
1. Dokter: yer the father av triplets
kongresman: I demand a rekount
2. evree bill in kongres hav 2 enemees...the fools hu support it
& the lunatiks hu oppose it.
3. if we dont vote, will kongress go awae?
4. if we introdused the lord's praeer heer,
senaters wood propose many admendments (Henree Wilson)
5. kon is the opposit av pro. Kongres is the opposit av progres.
6. kongres is straenj:
1 man get up & speek & sae nuthang
nobody listen; Then evreewon disagree (Boris Marshalov)
7. kongres make bills, taxpaers pae em
8. kongres tu fite inflaeshun is like the mafia tu fite krime (Ray Mossholder)
9. kongresmen otta be limited tu 1 term...make him kum home & liv with
the bills he made
kongres
10. lotta kongressmen like tu draw theer breth & theer salary & nuthang els (Sam Ervin)
11. no man's life, liberty, or property is safe wile Kongres is in sehsun (Mark Twaen, 1866)
12. talk is cheep...sept wen kongres duit
13. the luv av munee is the root av all kongresshunal investigates
14. the mistakes kongres make wood not be as bad if
next kongres didnt tri tu fix em (Kullen Hitower)
15. the wae sum talk bout guvt, yu wood thank kongress is the law av gravity (Windel Filips)
16. weer du I get mi jokes? I watch kongres & report the fakts (Will Rogers)
17. wen em make a joke, its a law; wen em make a law, its a joke (Will Rogers)
1063. konklude... (conclusion in krat speek)
1. weer yu end up wen 2 tired tu thank
b. plaes yu gotu wen yu kant thank
1064. konniption fit (temper trantum)
1065. konseet... (conceit in krat speek)
1. god hate bragging tungs (Sofokels)
2. self konseet kan leed tu destroy self (Aesop, 600bc)
3. small mind=big konseet (Aesop, 600bc)
4. the biggest fault is tu not see yers (Tom Karliel)
5. the less theer ability, the moer theer konseet
6. the smaller the mind the bigger the konseet (Aesop, 600bc)
7. the werld tolerate konseet from sukses, nowon els (Jon Blaek)
8. wen em find the senter av the yuenivers,
many will be disapointed it not self (Bernard Baelee)
1066. konsept...NE "idea" yu paed 25,000+$ tu outside konsultant for
1067. konservativ...
1. him thank a rich man shood get a square deel (Frank Dane)
2. it take 20 yeers for a liberal tu bekum konservativ (Robert Wilsun)
3. konservativ start wen yu bi a hous or first kid is born
4. loyal tu petrified pinyuns wont free NE-won (Mark Twain)
5. Radikals invent nu vyues, konservativs adopt em (Mark Twain)
6. sum konservativs R just dum (Kin Hubbard, 1900)
7. wons a liberal weer-out his vyues, konservativs adopt em (Mark Twain)
1068. konshens...
1. a kleer konshens is werth more than welth
2. bachlers hav a konshens, marreed men hav a wife (H L Menken, 1930)
3. bad konshens hav good memree
4. bi defanishun, guvt dont hav no konshens (Albert Kamus)
5. giltee konshens dont need akkuzer (English)
6. good freends, good books, sleepy konshens...the ideel life (Mark Twain)
7. I let mi konshens be mi gide, but kop arrested me as a vagrant.
8. I wont kut mi konshens tu fit this yeere's fashun (Lillian Hellman)
9. keep konshens kleer & never feer (Ben Franklin)
konshens
10. kleer konshens dont feer midnite nok (Chineez)
11. kleer konshens is gooder than welth (Filipino)
12. kleer konshens is soft pillo (German)
12. kleer konshens kum from poor memree
13. kleer konshens make soft pillo
14. Konshens...mother-n-law that never go
15. Konshens...the inner vois that sae sumwon mite see yu (H L Menchen)
16. Konshens...the part that hert wen evreethang els feel fine
17. konshens dont stop vies, it just make yu feel bad (Salvador Madariga)
18. Konshens dont stop yu from du wot yu shoodnt,
it just take awae the fun (Isak Singer, 1980)
19. konshens get kredit for wot oft is kold feet
konshens
20. konshens is a mother-in-law hu never go awae (H L Menchen)
21. konshens is like kar with brakes on (Bud Shulberg)
22. konshens is the littel vois that sae sumwon mae see yu duit (Henree Menchen)
23. konshens is wot hert wen evreethang els feel good
24. konshens kum from kustum (Mike Montaigne)
25. konshens make kowards av us all (Shakespeer)
26. konshens make yu tell mother b4 yer sister duit
27. konshens warn b4 it skold (Komtes Dian, 1908)
28. konshens wisper, temptashun skreem
29. koward ask ...is it safe?
expeedeent ask...is it politikal korrekt?
vane ask ...is it popular
konshens ask ...is it rite? (Martin L King)
konshens
30. konshus=yuno, konshens=yu wished yu didnt
31. softest pillo...kleer konshens (French)
32. the oenlee wae tu be happy on this dirt ball is
tu hav kleen konshens or nun (Ogden Nash)
konshens
30. tu be happy, hav kleer konshens, or nun (Ogden Nash)
31. wise man listen tu his konshens
1069. konshus...
1. konshus=the annoying time tween naps
1070. konsistent...
1. be konsistent (Horaes, 5bc)
2. be regular so others no wot tu spekt (Fransis Bakon, 1600)
3. konsistent is the basis av virchu (Fransis Bakon, 1600)
4. konsistent is the last refueg av the nonimajinativ (Oskar Wild)
5. konsistent man get destinee, kapreeshus man get chans (Ben Dirraeli, 1860)
1071. konspicuous bi yer absens
1072. konstatushun... (constitution in krat speek)
1. good konstatushun is gooder than best despot (Tom Makaulae, 1850)
1073. konsult...
1. konsultant...him yu send in after the fite tu stab the wuended
2. konsultant save yu almost nuff tu pae his fee (Arnold Glasgo)
3. wile dokters konsult, pashent die
1074. konsume... (consumerism, consumpshun in krat speek)
1. bi wot yu dont need=steel from self
2. erth provide nuff for evreewons need but not his greed (Gandhi)
3. good-old-daes...folks stoped Kristmas shopping wen em ran outta munee
4. groeth for groeths sake= kanser (Ed Abbee)
5. hard tu take less wen yu kan get more (Kin Hubbard)
6. if yer not greedee, the ekonomee will kollaps (Mignon McLaughlin, 1966)
7. industrializashun strip the werld bare like lokusts (Gandhi)
8. konsumpshun fill the vakyuem av despaer [yer fat]
9. konsumpshun is the sole purpus av production (Adam Smith, 1755)
10. modern poor R rited off as trash, not as poor folks (Jon Berger)
11. must be more tu life than hav evreethang (Maurees Sendak)
12. selebrate Kristmas bi gotu the mall av yer chois
13. we werk jobs we hate so we kan bi shit we dont need (Chuck Palaniuk)
14. yu kant get nuff av wot yu dont need (Erik Hoffer)
1075. kon-tent is king (komment on web site)
1076. kontent...
1. be kontent with littel but wish for more (Charles Lamb, 1800)
2. hu is rich? Him hu is kontent (Ben Franklin)
3. if yer kontent, yu wont get noweer (Luis LAmor, 1940)
4. if yu R not kontent inside, yu wont find it outside (Fran Rochefoukald, 1700)
5. kontent=like wot yu hav (Lin Yntang, 1950)
6. kontent is more kommon in kottaej than in pallus (Tom Fuller)
7. kontent make poor men rich; diskontent make rich men poor (Ben Franklin)
8. kontented folk kant be ruined
9. kontented man kan be happy with wot him hav (Hungko)
10. no man is kontent (Jon Fowls)
11. take awae fire insted av add more fuel (Tom Fuller, 1650)
12. theer is no want wen the mind is satisfied (Lukretius, 80bc)
1077. kontradikt...
1. Dont thank yu R persekuted if sumwon kontradikt yu (Ralf W Emersun, 1870)
2. konkord is born on kontrarees (Ben Jonsun, 1600)
3. nowon du wot him set out tudu (Jorj More, 1930)
1078. kontrakt... (contract in krat speek)
1. verbal kontrakt is not werth the paper its rited on (Sam Goldwin)
1079. kontrol...
1. kontrol wot is inside yu. Yu kant kontrol the outside (Wayn Dier)
2. kontrol yer emoshuns or em kontrol yu
3. never let the other fello set the ajenda (James Baker)
4. take strength from the temptashuns yu resist (Ralf W Emersun, 1870)
5. yu kant kontrol wots outside, so kontrol wots inside (Ben Franklin)
1080. kontrolvershal...
1. all grate ideas R kontrovershal, or wons was (Gilvert Selds)
2. evree advans in siens, politiks, & relijun is kontrovershal (Lyman Beecher, 1850)
3. evree reel thot kok the wind outta sumwon (Oliver W Holms, 1890)
4. wen it is kontrolvershal, theer is no truth (Virjinya Wolf, 1930)
1081. konvinsed
1. man konvinsed ginst his will
is av the same pinyun still
1081. konversashun... (conversation in krat speek)
see also...talk
1. her lak the power av konversashun but not speech (Jorj B Shaw)
2. the purpos av conversation is tu satisfi the urj tu talk (Jorj Satayana)
3. theer dont be konversashun, just intersekting monologs (Rebekka West, 1935)
4. yu gotta sae the rite thang at the rite plaes
and not sae the rong thang wen tempted (Dorthy Nevil)
1082. kood... (could in krat speek)
1. koodnt bi a setting av eggs
2. koodnt carry a tune in a bushel basket
3. koodnt hit the wide side av a barn from the inside
1083. kook... (cook in krat speek)
1. kisses dont last, kooks du (Jorj Meredith, 1900)
2. kook is like luv...duit with abandon or not at all (Harriet vanHorn)
3. kooked his goose or kook yer gues=it kame out bad, yu ruined thangs
4. oenlee thang badder than a wife hu kan kook but wont
is wife hu kant & du (Robert Frost)
5. talk dont kook ries (Chineez)
6. tis a bad kook that kant lik his fingers (Shakespeer)
7. tu many kooks spoel the broth
1084. kop... (police in krat speek)
1. heer offiser, hold mi beer wile me look for me lisens
2. kop a plee...agree tu less sentens insted av fite the charj
3. kop: yu did 90 in a 55 zone
man: its a free kuntree
kop: drivers lisens
man: dont hav 1. Me kan drive just as good without it
kop: and yer kar plates R outta date
wife:dont mind him, hees alwaes like that wen drunk
4. Montana kops pull yu over kauz he's loenlee (Rich Hall)
5. the kops R not heer tu make disorder,
Its tu preserv disorder (Shekago maer Daelee, 1968)
1085. kopee... (kopy, copy in krat speek)
1. kopee from 1, its plagerism; kopee from 2, its reserch.(Wilsun Mizner, 1920)
2. we forfit self wen we tri tu be like others (Arthur Hopenhower)
1086. korny as a kup av korn
1087. korporashun... (corp in krat speek)
see also...kumpanee
1. korporation=profit without responsabel (Ambrose Beers, 1880)
2. korporashuns kontrol the media & eliminate objektivity & dissent (Gore Vidal)
3. kriminal=predater without the kapital tu make a korporashun (Howard Skot)
1088. korrupt...
1. em hu korrupt publik mind R as bad as em hu steel taxpaeer munee (Theodor Adormo)
2. I want less korrupt or more chans tu partisipate (Ashlee Brite)
3. korrupt...politikal term that meen yu hav an offis taxpaers pae for (Ambrose Beers)
4. korrupt degrade the kuntree (Karl Kraus, 1920)
5. korrupt guvt is as bad as krooked biz (Walter Lipman, 1960)
6. life korrupt yu (Saul Alinski)
7. power oenlee korrupt men wen a fool korrupt power (Jorj Bernard Shaw)
8. Wen rich villans want help, poor villans kan name theer pries (Shakespeer)
9. Wen publik is korrupt, libertee will die (Edmund Burk)
1089. kort... (court in krat speek)
1. a kort is oenlee as sound as the jury (Harper Lee)
2. appeel kort...yu ask 1 kort tu sho kontempt for other kort (F Peter Dun)
3. artist is like old kort jester (Will Faulkner)
4. deth keep his kort round mortal tempels av kings (Shakespeer)
5. diktum...wot the kort thank but afraed tu sae (Henree W Traen)
6. dont kort the kritik's smile or dred his frown (Sir Walter Skot)
7. even the supreem kort kant deside til it get the fakts (Dale Karagee)
8. I run this kort & the law dont hav a thang tu du with it (Sam Ervin)
9. I was kort-marshaled in mi absens, sentensed tu deth in mi absens
so em kan shuet me in mi absens (Brendan Behan)
kort
10. konshens without god is like kort without judj (Al Lamartine)
11. kort...a plaes weer em dispens with justis (Arthur Traen)
12. kort wont duit just kauz the president sae so (Jon J Sirika)
13. no investigate...leed the press tu tri men in the most effektiv kort (Danyeel Shor)
14. penaltee for laff in kort=6 months in jael.
if not for this, jury wood never heer evidens (H L Menchen)
15. predjudis fael in the kort av reesun
16. presidents kum & go. Supreem kort go on forever (Will H Taft)
17. prosteritee...the apeel kort that revers yer popularity wile alive (Ambrose Beers)
18. she has ben kissed as much as a polees-kort bibel, & bi same sort av folk (Robert Davees)
19. silent in kort...same as konfes (Talmud)
kort
20. supreem kort ruled yu kant hav nativity seen in Wash DC,
not for relijus reesun, but kauz kant find 3 wise men with 1 virjin (Jae Leno)
21. supreem kort sed pornografee=kauz sex thots without artistik merit
that sound like evree kommershal on TV (Bill Hiks)
22. The plaes av justis is hollloed (Fransis Bakon)
23. Theer is a hier kort...the kort av konshens (Gandi)
24. Theer is no justis, in or outta kort (Klarens Darro)
25. this is a kort av law, not justis (Oliver W Homes)
26. wen yu gotu kort, yu put self in hands av 12
not smart nuff tu get outta jury duty (norm Krosbi)
1090. kort snippits...kort transkripts, lawyer talk, krime stuff
1. Judj: banish all prejudishes and thots from yer mind, if yu hav NE
2. ques: Are yu married?
ans divorsed
q : wot did yer husband du b4 the divors?
a a lot av thangs I didnt no bout
3. ques: Are yu sexyually aktiv?
ans no, i just lae theer
4. ques: deskribe the individyual
ans averaej hite with a beard
q man or woman?
5. (defendent is his lawyer)
did yu get a good look at me wen I stold yer pers?
ans yes, yu stold mi pers
q I shooda killed yu wile I had the chans
6. ques: did yuno the ded man?
ans yes
q : B4 or after deth?
7. ques: did yu stae all nite with this man in Nu York?
ans I refuze tu anser
ques: did yu stae all nite with this man in Shekago?
ans I refuze tu anser
ques: did yu stae all nite with this man in Detroit?
ans no
8. ques: did yu tell yer lawyer that yer husband offered yu indignities?
ans he didnt offer me nuthan; he sed I kan hav the furniture.
9. ques: dokter, did yu sae he was shot in the woods?
ans no, in the lumbar rejun
kort funnees
10. ques: dokter, isnt it true wen yu die in yer sleep, yu pass awae quiet
& yu dont no NE-thang bout it til next morning?
11. Ques: du yu drink on duty?
ans oenlee if I kum on duty drunk
12. Ques: du yu hav NE kids, or NE-thang av that sort?
13. ques: hav yu investigated other murders weer theer is a viktum?
14. ques: hav yu lived in this town all yer life?
ans not yet
15. Ques: how far apart was the kars wen em kolided?
16. Ques: how many autopsees hav yu dun on ded folks?
dokter: all av em was ded
17. Ques: how many times hav yu kommitted suiside?
ans: 4
18. ques: how was yer maeriag terminated?
ans deth
q : & bi huz deth was it terminated?
19. ques: hu is this persun yu speek av?
ans mi x-wido sed so
kort funnees
20. ques: I sho yu exhibit 3 & ask if yu rekanize it?
ans thats me
Q : was yu present wen the pik was took?
21. ques: is that the same nose yu broke as a kid?
22. Judj: is theer NE reesun wi yu kant be on the jury?
ans I dont wanna be awae from werk that long
Q kant em du without yu?
a yes, but i dont want em tu noit.
23. ques: kood yu see him weer yu was?
ans I saw his hed
Q : weer was his hed?
a : on his sholders
24. ques: mr Slattery, yu went on an elaborat honymoon didnt yu?
ans I went tu Yerrop
Q : did yu take yer wife?
25. ques: offiser, wi did yu thank the defendent was drunk?
ans? he war argumentary & koodnt pronunciate
26. Judj: pleez id yerself for the rekord
ans kernel Ebenezer Jakson
j wot du the kernel stand for
a its like the "honorabel" in front av yer name...not a dam thang
27. ques: she had 3 kids, rite?
ans yes
q how many boys?
ans num
q how many girls?
28. ques: so he was ded wen he woke up in the morning?
29. ques: so yu was gon til yu reterned?
kort funnees
30. Judj: the charj heer is theft av freezed chickens. R yu the defendant?
def : no, I'm the 1 hu took the chickens
31. ques: the date av konsepshun was 8 Aug?
ans yes
ques: wot was yu & yer husband duing then?
32. ques: the yungest sun, the 20-yr old, how old is him?
33. ques: was it yu or yer brother that was killed in the war?
34. ques: was yu alone or bi yerself?
35. ques: was yu present this morning wen yu was sworn in?
36. ques: Wen he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were
able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not
to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she,
with him to the station?
MR. BROOKS: Objection. That question should be taken out and shot.
37. ques: wi did yu gotu dr Chernee?
ans A gal down the street sed her had many kids bi him & he's verry good
38. Q : wot happened?
a : he sed "I hafta kill yu"
Q : did he kill yu?
a : no
39. ques: wot is the meening av the sperm being present.
a : sex
Q : mael sperm?
a : oenlee kind I no
kort funnees
40. ques: wot is yer relashunship with the plaintif?
ans: shes mi dotter
q and was her yer dotter on 13 Feb 1979?
41. ques: wot kan yu tell me bout the truthfullness av the defendent?
ans: she will tell the truth. Her sed her wood kill the sunavabitch & her did.
42. ques: wot time did yu examin the body av Mr Edington?
a : 8:30 pm
Q : Was Mr Edington ded?
a : no, yu dummy, he sat up & asked wot cha duing.
43. ques: wotz yer marital status?
ans faer
44. ques: yu are biased arent yu, kauz yu was shot in the frakas
a : I was shot midwae tween the frakas & the navel.
45. ques: yu dont no wot it is, dont no wot it look like, but yu kan deskribe it?
46. ques: yu sae the staers go down tu the basement?
ans yes
q du the staers also go up?
47. ques: yu was theer til yu left, wasnt yu?
1091. kortship...a man chase a woman til her katch him.
1092. kost... (cost in krat speek)
1. adversitee is a grate teech, but it mae not be werth the kost (HonRoso, 1770)
2. but it dont kost more, we oenlee gotta pae longer
3. dispite the kost av living, its still popular (Kathy Norris?? Larens J Peter??)
4. dont skrimp on wot dont kost...advise, kertesee(Ben Franklin)
5. evree preshus thang kost yu paen (Shakespeer)
6. evreethang is harder, take longer & kost more than planned
7. free advies is werth evree penee it kost
8. good werds kost littel, wert much (Jorj Herbert, 1600)
9. how much will a marriage lisens kost? 3$ down + yer inkum for life.
kost
10. if it is free, it kost tu much (Jeen Anouith, 1950)
11. In mi lifetime I got maby 2 letters werth the kost av the stamp (Henree D Thoro)
12. Kind werds du much, kost littel (Blaise Paskal, 1650)
13. kost an arm & a leg=kost 2 much, pries is ski-hi
14. passhun kost tu much tu yuze it on evree trifel (Tom Adams, 1770)
15. pride kost more than hungree, thrist, & kold (Tom Jeffersun)
16. "small tax rise" kost 1000$, "big tax kut"=30 sents (Peg Braken)
17. so many kount kosts, so fyu gaej value
18. sumthang yu dont want kost tu much
19. thanks dont kost nuthan
kost
20. the reel pries is how much werk & trubel it kost (Adam Smith, 1760)
21. The fyucher is like the past, but kost more (Jon Sladek)
22. viktree or defeet, kost the same (Tom Jeffersun)
23. Wen a habit kost munee, its a hobby (Ju)
24. yer old wen the kandels kost more than the kake (Bob Hope)
1093. kost av living...
1. dispite the kost av living, its still popular (Kathy Norris?? Larens J Peter??)
2. I liv so far beyond mi kost av living, yu kan sae we liv apart (E E Kummings, 1950)
1094. kot... (katched)
1. kot tween a rock and a hard place
2. kot with yer pants down
1095. kotton... (cotton in krat speek)
1. kotton tu=take a liking tu, gradual get tu like sumthang nu
1096. Kounsil...
see also...advise
1. appli yer kounsel tu self
2. best kounselers R ded
3. good kounsel is priesless (Giusep Mazini, 1860)
4. keep yer kounsil (or take yer kounsil)
1097. Kount...
1. if yu want a dog tu kount sheep, get a sheep dog
2. Kount yer blessings, not yer problems
1098. kow...
1. kow...masheen tu konvert grass tu milk (Jon McNulty)
2. kow is av bovine ilk. 1 end is mu, the other milk (Ogden Nash, 1950)
1099. koward...
1. better tu be killed than skared tu deth (Robert Surtees)
2. biggest bragger=biggest koward (Jeen Rousso, 1770)
3. faent hart never won faer ladee (Miguel Servantes, 1600)
4. koward dred wot mite happen (Epiktetus, 100ad )
5. koward no wot is rite but dont duit (Konfusus, 500 bc)
b. tuno wot is rite & dont duit is a koward
6. kowards die 1000 deths, brave 1 time (Shakespeer)
7. kowards never started & the week died along the wae
1100. krak...
1. krak av doom (Shakespeer, McBeth)
2. krak up (crash or laff)
1101. krat...
see also...burokrat
1. krat...politishan with tenyuer
2. krat...sumwon hu kut red tape sidewise [or length-wise] (J McKabe)
3. krats defend the status quo long after quo lost all its status (Laurens J Peter)
4. krats defind good=yu gotta be passiv & polite & obae like an ass (Will Blake, 1800)
1102. kraw...
1. kraw b4 yu stand, walk b4 yu run, look b4 yu leep (jump)
2. yu gotta lern how tu kraw b4 yukan grovel
1103. krazy...
see also...mad
1. krazy as a Bessee bug
2. krazy is hereditary...yu get it from yer kids (Sam Levensun)
3. more kunfortabel tu be krazy & noit, than be sane & dont noit (G B Burgin)
4. we are all lunatiks, but him hu analyze the delushun is kalled filosofer (Ambrose Beers)
1104. kreate (kreativity in krat speek)
1. brake outta patterns, look at it diff (Ed Bono)
2. dont be afraed tu fael (Edwin Land, 1980)
3. kreashun is a drug I kant liv without (Sesil B deMill, 1950)
4. kreate is the essens av life (julius Seesar, 50bc)
5. kreativity is lonelee art (Lu Dorfman)
6. kreativity require keraej (Henree Mantisse)
7. tu be kreativ, luze yer feer yu will be rong (Joe Piers)
8. tu be kreativ, yu gotta isolate self from the werld (Jon Van Goethe, 1800)
9. tu be kreetiv, yu gotta thank krazy & make silly mistakes (Frank Gobel)
1105. kredit (credit in krat speek)
1. debter oe munee. Krediter thank him will get munee from debter.
2. in god we trust, all others pae kash
3. kredit: how tu bi on the lae-awake plan
4. kredit is like a drunk. The buzz kum first, then the hangover (Joys Brothers, 1960)
5. kredit is munee (Ben Franklin)
6. kredit is system weer yu hu kant pae get other person hu kant eether
tu garantee yu kan (Charles Dikkens)
7. kredit kard is wot yu yuze wen yu find munee kant bi evreethang
8. kredit lend korrupt liter wings tu fli (Alexander Pope, 1730)
9. krediter hav gooder memree than debter (Ben Franklin)
10. kontrol av kredit is modern slavery (Upton Sinklaer, 1950)
11. modern man drive morgaged kar down toll roed & bi gas on the kredit kard.
12. remember, kredit is munee (Ben Franklin)
13. shurest wae tu get kredit is pruve yu dont need it (Maurees Switzer)
14. yesterdae I wasnt werth 2 sents, tudae me oe 2 milyun $ (Mark Twain)
15. yu kan get NE-thang on kredit sept good munee
1106. kredibel... [beleevabel in non-krat]
1. kredibility gap=differens tween wot sumwon sae & the truth
1107. krediter...
1. won av a tribe av savaejes living beyond finanshal straets
& dreded for desolate inkershuns (Ambrose Beers, 1900)
1108. kreem rise tu the top
1109. kri...
1. dont kri over spilled milk
2. kri all the wae tu the bank=make a lotta munee & ignore kritiks
3. kri is the refuej av plaen woman, the ruen av pretty 1 (Oskar Wild)
4. kri like a baby
5. kri me a river
6. kri wolf=fawls klaem av danjer
7. teerless greef bleed inside (Christian Bovee)
8. the kyuer is salt water...swet, teers, or the see (Isak Dinesen)
9. tu kri reduse the greef (Shakespeer)
10. wemen R alwaes just minuts awae from teers (Minon McLaughlin)
11. wen I see the poor starving kids, I kood kri.
I'd luv tu be skinny like that, but the flies, deth, yuk (Maria Karee)
12. woman weer teers like juels
1110. kri wolf...
1. from fabel bout shepard boy hu false warn av wolf so much
Wen the wolf reelee kum, no-won beleev him.
2. Nowadaes, the term meen tu false akkuze sumwon av a krime.
Zampel...woman klaemed her was kidnapped. just tu get notorietee.
1111. krime... (crime in krat speek)
1. baddest krime is tu fake it (Kert Kobaen)
2. Behind evree forchun is a krime (onor deBalzak)
3. evree raskal is not a teef, but evree theef is a raskal (Aristotel, 350 bc)
4. evree sosietee get the kind av kriminal it dezeerv (JFK, 1960)
5. Him hu hert 1 threten many (Ben Jonsun, 1600)
6. Him remind me av a man hu killed his parents & then pleeded
for mersee kauz him is an orfan (Abe Linkoln)
7. If provertee is the mother av krime, lak av sens is the father (Jeen Bruyeer, 1700)
8. kan liv without books, kant liv without krooks (Owen Meredith, 1880)
9. krime & punish gro tugether on same stem (Ralf W Emersun, 1870)
krime
10. krime beer bitter fruet
11. krime dont pae
12. krime dont pae as good as politiks (A E Numan)
13. krime expand bi how much we put up with it (Barry Farber)
14. krime is like the plaeg (Napoleon Bonapart, 1800)
15. krime is misdirekted energee (Emma Goldman, 1920)
16. krime is wotever power prohibit (Freda Adler, 1930)
17. krime punish self (Oliver Goldsmith, 1760)
18. krime that pae is krime that stae
19. Many R saved from krime wen em find evreethang lokked up (Ed How, 1930)
krime
20. nowon kan ern an onest milyun $ (Willian Jennings Bryan)...
21. poverty is the mother av krime (Mark Aurelius)
22. sept for the killings, Washington hav a very lo krime rate (Maer Barry)
23. the oenlee natural distinkt kriminal klass in Amerika is...Kongres (Mark Twaen)
24. tu argue that povertee kauz krime is tu slander the poor (H L Menken, 1950)
25. tu study krime, start with self (Henree Miller, 1945)
26. we pae a big krime bill evree yeer, but we get a lotta krime in retern
1112. dum kriminals...dum thangs sumwon did, related tu krime, kops, kort
1. Ann Arber, Mishigan...man go intu eeteree, sho gun, demand munee.
Klerk sae...yu gotta order sumthang tu get the kash box tu open.
man order onyun rings. Klerk sae thats not on the morn menu.
man giv up & leev.
2. Arazona...kumpanee "Guns for hire" du fake gunfites for Westerns.
Woman tri tu hire em tu kill her husband. Woman gotu jael.
3. Bank...man tried tu rob bank. Klerk sed yu gotta hav an akkount tu get munee.
man walked awae.
4. Barrens, MD...krooks tri tu kup open safe with "laser" from a plaes tu plae "laser tag"
5. Bent Fork, ill...kidnappers send wife pik av man with nuzpaper.
the hedline story is bout Nixon trip tu China (bout 1965).
Wen kidnapper kall, woman komplaen. Em send nu pik av resent nuzpaper.
but it dont sho the man em sae em kidnapped. Woman komplaen.
Kipnapper get mad & tell her tu send him a pik,
him giv address, kops kum, take him awae.
6. Bomb thret...Mike Robinson kalled in bomb thret tu kops. But gage sae kost av kall
inkreez as time go bi. Him get ratteled & tell kops tu kall him.
kops duit.
7. Buenos Dias...man throed wife out story 8 windo tu tri kill her.
her tangeled in elektrik wires.
Man tri tu jump ontu her, miss, hit with splat...ded.
8. bus with 5 passengers was in akseedent. Wen kops got theer, had 14
all komplaen av wiplash.
9. drug store...man go in, pull gun, sae stik em up.
Then him pull out bag & put it on his hed. But no holes tu see thru.
Him leev.
dum kriminals
10. drunk fell asleep on raelroed trak. Later he semi-wake as frate traen kum.
Traen hit him. Later he sed "it noked me out".
10. Dum xkues...man stopped for duint 104MPH in 45 zone sed
he just washed the kar & wanted tu dri it.
10. Gas staeshun...drunk tri tu rob gas staeshun. Klerks refuze. Drunk get mad.
Him threten tu kall kops. Em still refuze. Drunk kall kops. Kops kum.
11. Hannibal, Mo...man wanted tu wash kar, drove it intu Miss River, it floeted awae
Nowon kan find the kar now.
12. Illinois...man abubt driver at gun point, gotu 2 ATM's & take out munee.
from his akkount.
13. Indiana...man robbed food store & ran off...& left his wallet on the kounter.
14. Jerman "tuerest" with golf bag. Dont no wat a handikap is. Kustoms found drugs.
15. Jermany...woman herd bout Kleopatra took bath in kamel milk.
Her steel kamel from zu.
Then diskuver its name is Otto [male kamels dont giv milk]
16. Karlos Dias av NY pretended a zucchini in his poket is a gun
Him in the jael hous now.
17. Kentuky...2 men tried tu pull front off kash masheen bi chaen it tu
bumper av truk. Bumper kum off. Em go home & leev behind:
chaen, bumper, kar plate on the bumper.
18. konveens store. Man put 20$ on kounter & sae him want chaenj.
Klerk open drawer. man draw gun & take munee from kash draw.
Him run out but leev 20$ on kounter. Him got bout 15$ from store.
19. konvikt...broke outta jael. A fyu daes later, him take his
girlfreend tu kort (her charjed with rob store). At lunch brake,
him go out tu eet. Gotta get kort tu agree tu take her out.
Kops reknize his name on the paperwerk. Him kum bak in kar
him stold during the brake. Kops not happy.
dum kriminals
20. kort...woman b4 judj sae her is a teech.
Judj: I've waeted 20 yeers for a teecher tu kum b4 me.
Now sit down at the tabel & rite 500 times "I wont run red lites"
21. kort trial...defendent is Steev E krook.
Baleef open kage door & sae "krook, kum forward"
5 av em step out.
22. kort trial...woman's pers was stold. her is on stand as prosekuter ask bout it.
him ask "R the wons hu stold it heer in kort"
2 men at defendants tabel raes theer hands.
23. kosta Mesa, Kalif...man rob taxi, get out, shuet self in foot.
Kops follo bloody prints & katch him.
24. Long Beech...James Elliot tried tu hold man on street. His gun misfired.
So him look down barrel, pull trigger, shuet self in hed. Him ded now.
25. man tried tu thro brik thru store front windo, it bounsed, him on hed,
out kold, kops arrest him.
26. North Dakota...rustlers wanted tu steel kows from a ranch & koodnt find NE.
So em stold 3 dogs & the in-laws that was visiting at the time.
27. Nu York...man snatched woman's pers as her leev store. Klerk see & kall kops.
kops kum rite awae [beleev it or not]. katch man, take him bak tu store.
Kop ask woman if her kan id him. Man yell "yes thats the won I stold it from".
28. Nuwark...woman's kar stold, hav sell fone init. Kops kall it. Man anser.
Kop sae he saw ad the kar is for sale & wanna look at it. Man agree tu meet.
Him in jael now.
29. Nuwark Kop had sig-liter shaped like his gun. Several ours in bar drinking.
apparentlee got konfused & pulled his reel gun & shot & killed neerbi drinker.
dum kriminals
30. Mishigan...2 men with guns go intu store. 1 yell "dont muve or I'll shuet yu"
his partner muved, so he shot him.
31. Oakland...kops thank a man is barakaeded inside hous. Lob in teer gas.
spend 2 hrs tri tu talk him out, then diskuver he is outside next tu em.
32. Polees lineup...kops for a line av men as pretend suspekts with man em arrested.
kops tell first man tu step forward and sae "giv me yer munee or I'll shuet".
man em arrested yelled...thats not wot I sed.
33. Reno...78 yer old man with walker shot 5 in a kasino.
Kops katched him kauz it took him 10 minuts tu get tu front door.
34. Rode Iland...David Posman robbed armered truk av 4 bags av Penees.
Kouldnt run very fast with 120 pounds. Em katched him.
35. Sakramento...man got mad at moer that wont start & shot it.
Kops arrest him as a publik nuisans.
36. Seattel...Man tried tu siefun gas outta motor home parked on street.
Kops find him laeing in street sik. Terned out he
tapped intu the toilet hold tank.
37. San Antone...Amy Brasher took kar in for oil chaenj. Werker found bags av marawana.
She later told kops she didnt no yu gotta open hood tu chaenj the oil.
38. South Karolina...man go intu kop staeshun, put Kokaen on kounter,
Him sae the stuff is not up-tu-snuf. Him want kops tu arest man hu sold it tu him.
39. Tennessee...man brake intu bank at nite. See video kamra, so him take the kamra.
must be 2 dum tuno the kamra rekorded all on tape (in diff bilding).
dum kriminals
40. Texas... Man stold stuff, plee bargin tu pae wot its werth insted av gotu jael.
Him rite rubber chek.
41. Topeka...man rob store. Munee in kash box not nuff. Him tie up klerk
and man the kounter 3 hrs til kops kum, get suspishus, & arrest him.
42. traffik chekpoint...kops stop kars tu chek driver's papers.
Man had drive lisens issued bi "kingdum av heven". had tu pae 100$ fine.
43. TV...man broke intu hous, watch TV, lae down on bed, gotu sleep.
kupel kum home next morn, find man in bed, kall kops.
44. van...Paul Mokton get-awae van had his name & fone number in foot-hi letters.
45. Virjinya...2 men in pikup truk go tu nu hous being bilt (almost dun).
Em brake intu hous (& kauz a lotta damage). Put refrig in truk.
Get stuk. Em figger the fridj is 2 hevee
& so em put fridj bak in hous (& tare up thangs even more).
Go bak tu truk. Kees R lokked inside. Em abandon truk.
46. Wichita...Man at aerport tried tu pass 2 16$ bills. Kops not amused.
1113. kris...
1. kriss-kross=grid av horizontal & vertikal lines, equal distans apart
1114. kritik...
1. kritik=kut-throet bandit on mi wae tu fame (Robert Berns, 1790)
2. kritik=man hu no the wae but kant drive (Ken Tinan, 1970)
3. kritik dont kount; duer kount. (Theodor Roosevelt)
4. kritik gotta teech the publik. Artist gotta teech the kritik (Oskar Wild)
5. kritik kan oenlee revyu the book him reed,
not wot riter rited (Mignon Mclaughlin, 1960)
6. kritik kant make musik bi run bak legs tugether (Mel Brooks)
7. kritiks kum redee made, no prep required (Lord Biron, 1800)
1115. kritisize...
1. B4 yu kritisize sumwon, walk a mile in his shues
that wae, yer a mile awae & him barefoot
2. kritisize is hard tu take,
xtra hard from kin, freend, naber, or straenjer (Franklin Jones)
3. kritisizm=plausabel prejudis (H L Menchen)
b. kritisize is prejudis made plausabel
4. NE fool kan kritize, kondem, & komplaen, & most du (Ben Franklin)
5. tu exkape kritize, du nuthang, sae nuthang, be nuthang (Elbert Hubbard)
6. yu kan kritize if yu plan tu help (Abe Linkoln)
7. yu will alwaes be krisized, so du wot yer hart sae is rite (Elanor Roosevelt)
1116. krokodile teers=pretend tu be sad
1117. krook, krooked... (thang...not strate, person...not onest)
1. he's so krooked, him kan hide behind a korkskru
2. kan liv without books, kant liv without krooks (Owen Meredith, 1880)
3. korrupt guvt is as bad as krooked biz (Walter Lipman, 1960)
4. krooked as a barrel av snakes
5. krooked as a dogs hind leg
6. krooked as a snake
1118. kross...
1. dont be kross with me
2. dont kount yer chickens b4 em kross the roed
3. dont kross the bridj til yu get tuit
4. even beleevers in predestinashun look b4 em kross the street (Steev Hawkings)
5. fyu kross the river av time beyond the relm av deth (Hoerus, 10bc)
6. if yu look both waes b4 kross the street, yu see more traffik (Mae West)
7. if yu rellee luv Krist, yu will take up his kross (Will Barklee)
8. Jesus was a kross dresser (Jorj Karlin)
9. kross as a baer (bad temper, eezee tu rile)
kross
10. kross the bridj wen I kum tuit (deside wen foered tu)
11. kross the rubikon=make big deside, kommit tu du sumthang=dont tern bak
In 49bc Julius Seesar krossed the rubikon river=boundree av Italy
He then marched on Rome, throed out the senat & set up self as diktater
12. kross tu beer=karry a hevee lode, afflikshun or misforchun
13. kross yer fingers for good luk
14. Life is a bridj. Kross it. Dont bild hous onit.
15. nuerotik nael self tu fawls kross (Alfred Adler)
16. suffer yer kross with paeshens, its good for yu (Martin Luther)
17. Theer was oenlee 1 kristrian, & him died on the kross (Fred Nietzsche)
18. we kross our bridj wen we kum tuit
most bern the bridj behind em.
all yu get is smoke in yer ies (Tom Stoppard)
19. we mae kross paths in the fyucher
kross
20. yu gotta no wen tu bern the bridj & wen tu kross it (Dave Russel)
21. yu kant kross a chasm in 2 small steps (D L Jorj)
22. yu kant kross the sees bi stare at the waves (Rabin Tagar)
1119. krowd...
1. 2's kumpanee, 3's a krowd
2. a good man kan be alone in a krowd (Ralf W Emersun)
3. a krowd av sane & sensabel men tern intu mad raejing mob (Jorj Savil)
4. alone, eech seem sensabel & reesunabel; in a krowd, all R blokheds (Fred vonShiller)
5. alone, yu R strong. depend on a krowd, yu R week (Paul Brunton)
6. avoid the krowd. Thank independent. Be a chess plaer, not a chess pees.
7. far from the meddening krowd (Tom hardy)
8. hardest part av get tu the top av the ladder...get thru krowd at the base
9. I prefer live konserts bekauz av the krown (Elvis Preslee)
krowd
10. if yu hav a dreem, yu kant join a krowd. Yu gotta duit yer wae.
11. if yu waet for opportunity, yer part av the krowd (Ed Bono)
12. if yu wanna leed, yu gotta tern yer bak on the krowd (James Krook)
13. in sports, the krowd make the differens (Ti Kobbs)
14. krowd is humbel or arrogant. No in-between. (Livy)
15. krowd never thank with reesun (Will R Alger)
16. moral keraej...yu gotta struggel ginst the roer av the krowd (Doug McArthur)
17. nowon go weer the krowds R NE-more, its 2 krowded (Yogi Berra)
b. nowon go theer NE-more, its 2 krowded
18. the krowd thank it deep if it kant see the bottom (Fred Nietzshe)
19. tu hide, hide in a krowd (Fred Nietzche)
krowd
20. tu kontrol the krowd, yu must look like yu weer the same chaens (Voltaer)
21. tu rise abuv the krowd, du a littel more (Lu Vikkery)
22. wen in a krowd, withdraw inside self (Epicuraus, 300 bc)
1120. kruel... (cruel)
1. man is the oenlee kruel animal. Him hert yu for fun (Mark Twain)
1121. kuel (cool in krat speek)
1. kuel as a cucumber
2. stae kuel, it is a big advantaej (Tom Jeffersun)
3. Mrs Linslee: yu look so kuel
Yogi Berra : thanks, yu dont look so hot
ku-ku...see krazy
1122. kulcher... (culture in krat speek)
1. if evreewon want it & kant find it, its kulcher (Pablo Pikasso, 1960)
2. kulcher...we duit, monkees dont (Lord Raglan)
3. kulcher is the teecher tool tu make more teechers (Simon Weil, 1940)
4. kulchered...him bore yu on NE subjekt
5. man shood be kulchered nuff tu look at kulcher first hand (Sam Butler, 1720)
6. wen me heer the werd "kulcher" me reech for a gun (Herman Goering, 1940)
1123. kultivate the talents yu have
1124. kum...
1. kum a kropper=didnt werk out, fael
2. kum down tu erth (get yer hed outta the klouds & open yer ies)
3. kum hell or hi water=yu sae yu'll duit no matter wot, no matter the obstakels
4. kum in mi byutee, the spider sed tu the fli
5. kum off it
6. kum outta yer shell=tell introvert tu mingel more
7. kum up smelling like a rose
8. kum wot mae, time run thru the ruffest dae (Shakespeer)
1125. kumpanee... (company in krat speek)
see also...korporashun
1. bores deprive yu av solitude & dont provide kumpanee (Gian Gravina)
2. go tu heven for the klimat, hell for the kumpanee (Mark Twain)
3. if yu R lonely wen alone, yu R in bad kumpanee (Jeen Sarter, 1970)
4. kumpanee and fish stink after three daes (Ben Franklin)
5. letter combine solitude & good kumpanee (Lord Byron)
b. rite letter=solitude + good kumpanee
6. man du thangs, not kommittees, not kumpanees (Alfred Montapent)
7. man is noed bi the kumpanee him keep (M Koverdale, 1541)
8. miseree luv kumpanee (misery in krat speek)
9. that is the dae we part kumpanee
10. tu err is human, tu forgiv is ginst kumpanee polasee
11. tu's kumpanee; 3's a krowd
12. wen kumpanee stae 2 long, treet em like famlee, that'll make em go.
13. without kustomers, theer is no kumpanee (Mike LeBoef)
14. yer xtra uglee tunite madam, is it kauz we hav kumpanee? (Al Jarree, 1900)
1126. kuntree... (country in krat speek)
1. 1 dae in the kuntree=1 month in the sitee
2. god made kuntree, man made town (Will Kowper)
3. I hav freends in overalls I wood not swap for favors from kings (Tom A Edisun)
4. kuntree=helthee grave (Sidnee Smith)
5. tu gage a kuntree's werth, look at how many want in & how many want out (Tony Blaer)
1127. kurmudjun... (curmudgeon in krat speek)
1. 90% was made so we wood wanna be with the other 10% (Horus Walpole)
2. a sinik serch for onest man with a lite him stold (Ed A Shoff)
3. aent no inner pees. Yer nervus til yu die (Fran Lebowitz)
4. akkurat observ is kalled sinik bi em hu kant duit (Jorj B Shaw)
5. all mi fun tu this folly
nuthang as sweet as melankoly (Robert Burton, 1651)
6. av the wise, theer R 2...1 kommit suiside, 2 stae drunk all the time (Mark Twaen)
7. Bibel sae "luv yer naber" & "luv yer foes"
me gess em R the same (G K Chesterton)
8. dont anser the fone. Theer mae be sumwon on the other end. (Fred Kupels)
9. duit or dont duit. Yu will regret both (Kierkegard)
kurmudjun
10. go on living tu enrage the annuity paers. Its the oenlee fun I hav (Voltaer)
11. God oe us konfort or revelashun, not both (Mignon McLaughlin)
12. I had a luvers quarrel with the werld (Robert Frost)
13. I like long walks, xtra so wen em hu annoy me take em (Fred Allen)
14. I luv mankind, kant stand peepl (Charlee Brown=Charles Schultz)
15. ideelish preseed xpeereeens, sinik follo (David T Wolf)
16. if theer be hell on erth, its in melankoly mans hart (Robert Burton)
17. if yu kant liv without me, wi arent yu ded? (Sinthia Heimel)
18. I'm interested in folks, but dont like em (Somerset maugham)
19. its a hard werld. Oenlee eezee plaes is in the grave (Henree W Beecher)
kurmudjun
20. most men leed lives av noisy desperashun (James Thurber, 1956)
21. O that this flesh wood melt intu du (Shakespeer, hamlet)
22. sarkasm is the sour kreem av wit
23. satire...man find unplesant thangs bout self & sae em bout others (Peter McAurthur)
24. satire is glas yu yuze tu see evreewons faes sept yers (Jonathan Swift)
25. smart folks R never happy (Ernest Hemingwae)
26. sumtimes wen yu wake up in the morn, yu wish yer parents never met (Bill Fitch)
27. the dignity av man kan faes meeningless realitee (Martin Esslin)
28. the enthusiastik R a triel tu the rest av us (Alban Goodeer)
29. the mad [krazy] R happy,
the sane ignorant, the rest R in purgatory (Terri Guillemets)
kurmudjun
30. the more I no av men, the more I like dogs (Charles deGaul)
31. the werld hert. Sum heel faster, sum bleed tu deth (D H Mondfluer)
32. wen we R born, we kri. We kum tu this staej av fools. (Shakespeer, King Leer)
33. yu R miserabel nuff in this life, dont spekulate bout the next (Lord Byron, 1811)
34. yung sinik go from no-nuthang tu beleev nuthang (Maya Angelo, 1988)
1128. kustomer...
1. dissatisfied kustomers R yer best lerning soers (Bill Gates)
2. konsumer=sta-tistiks, kustomer=folks
3. kustomer: SS number, drivers number, akkount number. Dont yu want mi name?
4. kustomer mae be bullhedded, dum, pinyunated, rude...but alwaes rite
5. the kustomer is alwaes rite (H G Selfridj, 1880)
6. the kustomer is our reesun tu be
7. without kustomers, theer is no kumpanee (Mike LeBoef)
8. the kustomer pae yer wage (Henree Ford)
1129. kustum... (custom in krat speek)
1. forgiv him, him beleev kustums av his tribe=laws av nacher (Jorj B Shaw)
2. konshens kum from kustum (Mike Montaigne)
3. kustum...the less tu justifi it, the harder tu get rid av it (Mark Twain)
4. kustum is powerful habit (Ovid, 10ad)
5. kustum is the gide tu human life (David Hume, 1770)
6. kustum make folks aksept NE atrositee
fashun drive em tu get NE kustum (Jorj Bernard Shaw)
7. laws R belo kustum (Titus Plautus, 200bc)
8. the werld make laws but follo kustum (Mike Montaig, 1550)
1130. kut...
1. kut and dried=fixed b4 hand or preset eezee formula
nuer: the boss desided & nuthang yu kan sae will matter
2. kut and run
3. kut me sum slak
4. kut the koet akkording tu the kloth
5. kut the mustard
6. kut the pizza intu 6 parts, I'm not hungree nuff for 4 (Yogi Berra)
7. kut the shenanigans
8. kut thru the red tape
9. kut tu the chase=get tu the point
started in muvees(1927)...edit film tu kut out dull & get tu akshun=the chase
10. kut tu the quik =hert sumwon emoshunally
11. kut yer nose off tu spite yer faes
1131. kuver...
1. kuver yer ass=prepare exkuez or alibi ahed av time
more resent...make paperwerk tu make shuer yu dont get blamed
1132. kyuer... (cure in krat speek)
1. a smile kyuer the frown that wuend (Shakespeer)
2. be part av the kyuer, not part av the problem
3. best kyuer for temper is a long walk
4. better tu prevent than tri tu kyuer (fix)
5. curiosity kyuer boredum. No kyuer for curiosity (Dorthy Parker)
b. kerrossitee kyuer boredum. No kyuer for kerrossitee
6. deth kyuer all dazeezes
7. good laff & long sleep=the best kyuer (Irish)
8. hope is dope tu man & him kant be kyuered (Ogden Nash)
9. if paen kood kyuer yu, we wood all hav ben saved long ago (Jorj Santayana)
10. paeshens kyuer all sorro (Syrus, 100bc)
11. repent dont kyuer mischeef (Gaelik)
12. The best kyuer for the body is a quiet mind (Napoleon Bonapart, 1815)
13. The kyuer for sumwon hu admire the lords is go theer & look (Walter Bagehot, 1860)
14. the kyuer is salt water...swet, teers, or the see (Isak Dinesen)
15. the oenlee kyuer for birth & deth is hav fun in tween (Jorj Santayana)
16. the oenlee kyuer for sikness is deth (Harvee Cushing)
17. theer is no kyuer for the kommon birthdae (Jon Glen)
18. time kyuer all dazeezes (Ben Franklin)
19. tu kyuer evil, werk the feelds (Charles Wagner)
20. werk kyuer boredum (Duk de Levis)
21. yer tale wood kyuer the def (Shakespeer)
1133. kyuet... (cute in krat speek)
1. grandkids R the reward for not killing the kids
2. I asked ma if I be a gifted kid
her sed "must be, Im not paeing for yu"
3. kids repeet werd-for-werd wot yu shood not hav sed
4. kyuet as a buttom [thats a kompliment]
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