1461. paddel yer oen kanoe
1462. pae... (pay in krat speek)
1. at this rate, wemen will get equal pae in 475 more yeers (Lya Sorano)
2. How much du yu make?
mi pae is in 5 figgers...1 wife, 4 kids
3. pae thru the nose=very expensiv, many xtra "charjes"
4. pae wot yu oe & yuno wot yer werth (Ben Franklin)
1463. paen... (pain in krat speek)
1. antisapated hert hert more (Mark Cicero, 60bc)
2. deth take awae paen (Alfred Tennysun, 1840)
3. eezeeer tu find men willing tu die than tu take paen (Julius Seeser, 50bc)
4. evree preshus thang kost yu paen (Shakespeer)
5. evreethang hert (michelangelo, 1500)
6. fizakal paen=big evil (St Augustine, 400ad)
7. giv paen, take paen, dif skales (Aesop, 600bc)
8. god will wipe awae teers & paen (bibel)
9. if paen kood kyer, we wood hav ben saved long ago (Jorj Santayana, 1900)
paen
10. life is paen, luv the suether (Cesare Pavese, 1940)
11. life is senses, even paen (Lord Biron, 1810)
12. life is the art av avoid paen (Tom Jeffersun, 1780)
13. no gaen without paen (Ben Franklin) [no paen, no gaen=modern vershun]
14. not all skars sho, not all wuends heel
kant alwaes see the paen him feel
15. oenlee gods liv without paen (Aeschylus, 480 bc)
16. others paen redues yers (Shakespeer)
17. paen...I kan take it (Seneka, 30ad)
18. paen & deth R part av life (Havlok Ellis, 1880)
19. paen av mind hert more than paen av body (Syrus, 100ad)
paen
20. paen in the nek
21. paen is inevitabel, suffer opshunal (Kathleen Kasee)
22. pin prik hert more than 1000 ded in China (Will Hazlit, 1800)
23. pleshuer=brake in the paen (Jon Selden, 1620)
24. the werld av opposites...lite & dark, paen & pleshuer (Lawrens Stern, 1740)
25. we R born in mothers paen & die in ours (Fransis Thompson, 1880)
26. wen the paen is bad nuff, yu take advies fro NE-won (Mignon Mclaughlin, 1960)
27. yern for luved won is sweet paen (Jon Driden, 1670)
1464. paent... (paint in krat speek)
1. husband must hav note from wife (sine in paent store)
2. I dreem av paenting, then paent the dreem (Vinsent vanGo)
3. paent the town red=big binj, spree, party
4. paented jezebel=shamelsee skeeming woman
5. paentings & fites R best seed from a distans (Ben Franklin)
1465. paeshens... (patience in krat speek)
1. 1 moment av paeshens mae avoid disaster (Chineez)
2a. a handful av paeshens is werth more than a bushel av braens (Dutch)
b. a owns av paeshens is werth a pound av braens (Dutch)
3. a mule will werk & waet 10 yeers so it kan kik yu (Will Faulkner, 1925)
4. a wuend heel bi degrees (Shakespeer, Othello, 1604)
b. how poor em without paeshens
wuend take time tu heel
5. add a littel over & over & it get big (Hesiod, 800 bc)
6. all thangs kum tu him hu waet (H W Longfello, 1880)
7. beware av paeshent man with grudj (Jon Driden, 1680)
8. big oek gro slo & good (Wilfred A Petersun)
9. books R paeshent teechers (Charles Eliot)
paeshens
10. em hu wanna be rich, want it now (Juvenal, 100ad)
11. evreethang kum tu him hu hustel as him waet (Tom A Edisun, 1880)
12. giv us paeshens with a man in luv (Rudyard Kipling, 1900)
13. hunter need more paeshens than the hunted
14. if Im not bak in 5 minuts, waet longer (Jim Karree)
15. if yu R paeshent, rongs kant hert yu (leonardo DaVinsee, 1490)
16. if yu R paeshent, yu kan get wot yu want (Ben Franklin)
17. Im paeshent if me get me wae in the end (margaret Thasher)
18. infinite paeshens bring results (Wayne Dier)
19. luze yer paeshens, luze yer sole (Fransis Bakon, 1590)
paeshens
20. many pretend paeshens wen em dont kare (Forbes, 1910)
21. most want yu tu heer theer tale than for yu tu giv em wot em want (Chesterfeeld, 1730)
b. than tu grant theer request
22. no akshun kan be the best akshun (dont du nuthang kan be best)(Jerry Brown)
23. paeshens...kount down b4 yu blast off
24. paeshens...miner form av dispaer disgised as virchu (Ambrose Beers)
25. paeshens...yu get a chicken bi hatch the aej insted av brake it (Arnold Glasgo)
26. paeshens...yu admire in driver behind yu, hate in driver in front (Mak McKleeree)
27. paeshens=despaer disgized as virchu (Ambrose Beers, 1870)
28. paeshens=moral keraej + fizakal timid (tom Hardy, 1870)
29. paeshens=self-suffer (Gandhi, 1890)
paeshens
30. paeshens and time du more than strong & hurry (Jeen Fontaen, 1650)
31. paeshens av Job=very paeshent (Bibel)
32. paeshens du more than foers (Ed Burk, 1750)
33. paeshens go with wisdum (St Augustine)
34. paeshens is a kountdown without blastoff
35. paeshens is a tired mare, but her plod on (Shakespeer)
36. paeshens is a virchu
37. paeshens is bitter but the fruet is sweet (Frans)
38. paeshens is tamed passhun (Liman Abbot, 1870)
39. paeshens is the kee. Yu get chicken bi waet for aeg tu hatch.
paeshens
40. paeshens is the virchu av an ass (Jorj Granvil)
41. paeshens kum with a lotta waet
42. paeshens kyuer all sorro (Syrus, 100bc)
43. paeshens, munee, & time bring all thangs
44. paeshent attenshun is the kee (Isaek Nuton, 1680)
45. paeshent man kan put up with self
46. slo & stedee win the raes (Aesop, 590 bc)
47. stik tu 1 thang til yu get theer, like a stamp on a letter (Henree Shaw, 1860)
48. The marvel av histree is the paeshens av folks tu suffer theer guvt (Will H Bora)
49. The sekret av nacher is paeshens (Ralf W Emersun, 1835)
paeshens
50. tu much paeshens=koward (Jorj Jaksun, 1895)
51. with paeshens, mulberry leef bekum silk gown (Chineez)
52. with paeshens yu'll get far. no paeshes, get theer faster
53. yu admire paeshens in the driver behind yu, not the 1 in front (Bil Mcglashen)
54. yu kan lern thangs from kids; zampel=paeshens (Frank P Jones)
55. yu kant make a fig in 1 dae (Epiktetus, 80 ad)
56. yu kant plant & harvest the same dae
1466. 1. pak it in
2. pak rat
1467. pal...
1. pale as a goest
2. palm off=get rid bi trik sumwon intu take it
1468. pan...
1. pan out=good results, it werked
2. pandamonium didnt raen, it poered (Jon Bangs)
3. pandoras box=soers av trubel, problems
1469. paper tiger=look strong but week inside
1470. paperwerk...we kan lik gravity, but the paperwerk is overwelming (Werner Von Braun)
1471. par for the koers=normal, averaej, kommon
1472. parabel...
1. teech: wot bibel parabel du yu like best?
boy : the 1 bout him hu loef & fish
1473. paradise...
1. be such a man & leed such a life, that erth is god's paradise (Filip Brooks)
2. Disneeland is paradise (Jeen Baudrillard)
3. dogs link yu tu paradise (Milan Kundera)
4. dont seek paradise or reward & yu will get both (Will Penn, 1700)
5. em promis us paradise-on-erth & giv us hell (Karl Popper)
6. England is paradise for wemen, hell for hoerses, Italy the opposit (Robert Burton)
7. evree kreed promis a paradise NE-1 with taste kant take (Evelyn Waug)
8. evree man hav paradise til him sin. Then konshens drive out him (H W Longfello)
9. fool's paradise most no (Jon Milton, "paradise lost")
paradise
10. gentel & kind make home paradise-on-erth (Srus A Bartol)
11. he drank delite in this fool's paradise (Jorj krab)
12. I imajin paradise is a library (Jorj L Borges)
13. if not for eve, Adam wood be alone in paradise
14. if yu kant katch the bird av paradise, get a wet hen (Nikita Krushchev)
15. klimb tu paradise bi the staers av serprise (Ralf W Emersun)
16. lak av paeshens is the kee sin.
It drove up outta paradise. We kant retern (W H Auden)
17. lerning is weer yu make yer paradise 9Bell Hooks)
18. memrees is the paradise nowon kan foers yu out av (Jeen P Richter)
19. paradise...no fone (Doug Larson)
paradise
20. paradise=a chil in the aer, kat on lap, kup av choklut, good book
21. paradise hav room for yu & me & all (Christina G Rossetti)
22. paradise is for yu (Bibel)
23. paradise is hoersbak, good book, tween brests av woman (Arab)
24. paradise is lost (Marsel Proust)
25. paradise is open tu all
26. Park Avenue is a windo-washer's paradise (Gae Talese)
27. sum blunder intu paradise [heven] (Fransis Thompson)
28. the desert wood be paradise if yu was with me (Robert Berns)
29. travel is a fool's paradise. On trip 1, we lern all plaeses R dull (Ralf W Emersun)
paradise
30. tu reknize paradise, yu gotta see it from the outside (Herman Hes)
31. yu singing beside me in the wilderness...paradise (Omar Kayyam)
32. yuze propaganda good & yu konvins all that
paradise is hell & the other wae round (Aldorf Hitler)
33. yuzeful=1 fone, luxury=3, opelent=3, paradis=0 (Doug Larsun)
1474. paralysis bi analysis
1475. paranoid...
1. a paranoid no sumthang bout wot go on around him (Will B Burroes)
2. even paranoids hav reel enemees (Henree Kisinger)
3. Histree in publik skuels dwell on redikulus kings & paranoid politiks (Martin Gardner)
4. If evreewon hated yu, yu'd be paranoid 2 (D H Hiks)
5. I'm not a deraenjed paranoid milyunaer. I'm a bilyunaer (Howard Hues)
6. I'm not paranoid. Wich av mi foes sed so?
7. I'm paranoid (Jonny Dep)
8. I'm paranoid, so I muved tu Nu York...the plaes that justifi mi feers (Anita Weis)
9. just kauz yer paranoid, dont meen em R not out tu get yu (Kolin Sautar, kurt Kobaen)
10. Kanada is paranoid skitz-o-freen-eea (Margaret Atwood)
11. Oenlee the paranoid survive programming (Andy Grove)
12. paranoid...reellistik optimist
13. paranoid delushun Sikosis...the gie's room, kozy for Hanibl Lekter (Aes Ventura)
1476. pardon mi French=ignore me kauze I'm gonna akt like the French=vulgar & rude
1477. parent...
1. 2 thangs tu giv yer kids...roots & wings (Hodding Karter)
2. are yer kids out for the evening?
fast, pak up, muve out, dont leev a forwarding address.
3. character is planted at home (Jorj A Dorsee)
4. dont handikap yer kids bi make theer life eezee (Robert A Heinlein)
5. dont weree yer kids dont listen tu yu.
weree that em watch & kopee yu (Robert Fulgum)
6. father is alwaes a Repulikan tu his kid, Mother is a Demokrat (Robert Frost)
7. father shood be blameless if him spek kid tu be (Homer)
8. father thretened me with the werld, mother protekted me from it (Quentin Krisp, 1968)
9. hav a kid...dont make yu a mother (Jon A Shed)
parent
10. I dont no hu is best tu raes a kid, but the parents R the baddest (Jorj B Shaw)
11. I like tu plae hide & seek with mi kids
but sumtimes look for a plaes tu hide til em R outta hi skuel
12. if yu spaes the kids apart, yu lern as yu raes kid 1
then yu kan make the opposit mistakes on kid 2 (Sidnee J Harris)
13. if yu want kids tu hav theer feet on the ground
put responsabilitee on theer sholders (Abigale Van Buren)
14. lern from yer parents mistake...yuze birth kontrol
15. mi boy is 16, going on 12.
16. most Amerikan kids suffer from 2 much mother, 2 littel father (Gloria Steinman, 1971)
17. most bekum parents wile still a kid (mignon Mclaughlin, 1966)
18. parents talk bout the yung jenerashun
like em dont hav NE-thang tu du with it (Haim Ginot)
19. problem with kids is yu gotta put up with the parents (Charles delint)
parent
20. sing in the kar, even if oenlee tu embarris the kids (Maralin Penland)
21. the kid provide the power, parent steer (Ben Spok)
22. the oenlee wae tu deel with a kid is tu not be his parent (Mell Lazarus)
23. tu luze 1 parent is misforchun. Tu luze 2 is kareless (Oskar Wild)
24. wen the kids get outta kontrol, I yuze a nies safe plaepen.
wen it quiet down, I klimb out (Erma Bombek)
25. wot impres me most bout Amerika...how parents obae theer kids (Duke av Winser, 1957)
26. wot yer kid dont get, him seldum giv later (P D James)
27. yer kids need yu present more than yer presents (Jessee Jaksun)
28. yu will alwaes be yer kids favorit toy (Vikkee Lanskee, 11991)
1478. parkingsons law=werk expand tu fill all time
1. koralary...number werkers under yu expand forever even if em dont du nuthang
1479. parliament...
1. dont lie tu em, let em misleed self (Norman Tebbit)
2. em stand majestik in 1 spot & simulate forward march (Alex herzen, 1840)
3. The hous start with a praer. The preest prae for the kuntree (Denning)
4. The kyuer for sumwon hu admire the lords is go theer & look (Walter Bagehot, 1850)
5. yu sat tu long; go, dun with yu (Oliver Kromwell, 1653)
1480. part...
1. parting is such sweet sorro (Shakespeer)
2. parting shot=get in the last werd
1481. party (parties in krat speek)
1. at a party sum wanna go home sum wanna stae.
unforchunally em wed eech other (Ann Landers)
2. koktael party...40 drink & talk at same time. Last man standing is host (Fred Allen)
3. party gotta hav folly tu be fun (Erasmus)
4. wotz the purpus av a party? its not for yu tu hav fun (P J O'Rourk)
1482. pass...
1. pass muster=qualify, good nuff (1574)
2. pass round the hat=collekt munee
3. pass the buk =pass it on, evade responsabel (Mark Twaen, 1872)
from kard games such as poker.
In old daes em had a simbel kalled a buk tu sho hu deel
after eech hand, pass the buk tu next plaer.
1483. passhun... (passion in krat speek)
see also...lust
1. a man av passhun ride a hoers that ride awae with him (Tom Fuller, 1640)
2. desire is a rage (Mignon McLaughlin, 1966)
3. dont let passhun override judjment (Epicharmus)
4. em hu kant yuze reesun yuze passhun (Cicero, 50bc)
5. if yu resist passhun, its kauz it iz week,
not kauz yu R strong (Fransis Rochefochauld, 1650)
6. if passhun drive yu, let reesun hold the raens (Ben Franklin)
7. it was a sin av passhun, no prinsapel, no purpus (Nat Hawthorn)
8. kontrol yer passhun or it will kontrol yu (G M Trevelyan)
9. kontrol yer passhun or it will take vengens on yu (Epietetus..100ad)
10. passhun=good servant, bad master (Aesop..600bc)
11. passhun and prejudis rule the werld & pretend tu be reesun (Jon Weslee)
12. passhun dont look beyond the moment (Cristian Bovee, 1845)
13. passhun is a drunk mind (Robert South, 1660)
14. passhun is a fenix, wen 1 die the next spring up (Jon Goethe, 1790)
15. passhun is a strong spring (Ralf W Emersun, 1860)
16. passhun is like fire & water...good servant, bad master
17. passhun is required for relijun, histree, romans, art (Oner Balzak)
18. passhun is short, like an erthquake (Lord Biron, 1810)
19. passhun is the mob av man. It riot on his reesun (Will Penn, 1680)
20. passhun kost tu much tu yuze it on evree trifel (Tom Adams, 1770)
21. passhun make the werld go round, but luv make it safer (ies T, 2002)
22. sivilizashun is our wae tu tri tu kontrol passhun
and get it tu du yuzeful werk (Al Huxlee)
23. teech yer kids tu kontrol theer passhun. We will all be better off (Ben Franklin)
24. the cheef okkupashun av man is passhunnut luv av lost kauses (H L Menken)
25. tu du grate deeds, yu gotta hav passhun (Jorj Hegel, 1800)
26. tu du grate thangs, yuze passhun (Jorj Wilhelm)
27. virchu regulate passhun (Tomas Aquinas)
28. yuze reesun tu kontrol passhun (Sisero, 50bc)
1484. passport
1. If yu look like yer passport pik, yer 2 sik tu go
1484. past...
1. 1 ie on yesterdae & 1 ie on tumorro=kok-ied tudae
2. 1 thang tu lern bout the past, dif thang tu wallo init (Ken Auchinclos)
3. a mind trip in the past is fueled bi delushuns & fawls memrees (Adreen Rich)
4. all moments will be lost in time, like teers in the raen (Blade Runner)
5. antiquitees R remmants av histree that
exkaped the shipreks av time (Fransis Bakon, 1600)
6. dont brued on the past & dont forget it eether (Tom H Raddal)
7. dont kri over old greef (Euripides)
8. dont regret wot mite hav ben (Richard M Stern)
9. em hu remember the past will find nu waes tu skru up (Charles Wolf)
past
10. giv up the past, liv in the now, look tu the fyucher
11. go thru the junk drawer tu bring bak the past (James M Baree, 1880)
12. I chased the past & stumbeled intu the fyucher
13. if yu dont remember the past, yu R kondemed tu repeet it (Jorj Santayana, 1890)
b. yu hu forget the past R kondemned tu repeet it
14. if yu look bak tu much, yu go the rong wae
15. kant chaenj the past. Dont tri tu saw sawdust (Dale Karnahee, 1920)
16. liv in the past, its cheeper
17. look bak & smile (Sir Walter Skot, 1810)
18. man kant free self from the past (Andrae Maurois)
19. nostalgia aent wot it yused tu be (Simoen Signorae)
past
20. nostalgia is a seduesiv lier (Jorj W Ball, 1940)
21. not likely tu happen wen its past (Jorj Ade, 1895)
22. oenlee dif tween past, present, & fyucher=persistent illushun (A Einstein)
23. past & fyucher R illushuns (Alan Watts)
24. past is best predikter av fyucher
25. past is on our baks. kant see it but kan feel it (Mignon McLaughlin, 1960)
26. posteritee will pae wot yu oe (Publius Tacilus, 100ad)
27. praes for past triump is fether from ded bird (Paul Eldridj)
28. study the past if yu wanna no the fyucher (Konfushus, 500bc)
29. sum liv in the past & kant lern how tu liv tudae (Will Penn, 1680)
past
30. the charm av the past is it is past (Oskar Wild)
31. the distinshun tween past, present, & fyucher is illushun (A Einstein)
32. the nu is wot yu forgot til yu remember (Jerman)
33. the oenlee thang nu is wot is out av date (French)
34. The past dont chaenj (Danyel Webster, 1820)
35. The past is a bukket av ashes (Karl Sandburg, 1950)
36. The past is a gidepost, not a hitching post (Tom Holdkroft)
37. The past is forin. Em du thangs different theer (leslee P Hartlee, 1930)
38. The past is oenlee in yer memree
39. The past is prolog (Shakespeer)
past
40. The past is the oenlee ded thang that smell good (Ed Thomas)
41. The past is the wae it is. Dont tri tu chaenj it
42. The past is wot men beleev happened (Gerald W Jonsun, 1920)
43. The past is yer yueth, thats wi its good (Kaleb Bingham, 1840)
44. The past lae on the present like giant ded body (Nat Hawthorn)
45. The past shood be a springbord (Ivern Ball)
46. tu be happy with yer past is tu liv 2 times (Mark Martial, 80 ad)
47. tumorro is not as good as yesterdae (Syrus, 100ad)
48. tumorro will be sumwon's good old daes (Jerald Barzan)
49. Yesterdae is a kanseled chek. tumorro a promis note.
tudae is redee kash. Yuze it. (Ed C Blis)
past
50. we R tumorro's past (Mary Web, 1920)
51. we seed gooder daes (Shakespeer)
52. wi kant god chaenj the past?
he kan, but gave the job tu historeeans
53. wot is dun is dun (Shakespeer)
54. yer past is wot yu be. Be judjed bi it (Oskar Wild, 1890)
55. yu kant bring bak the past (Jon Goethe, 1780)
56. yuze the past as a gide (Robert Goodkin)
1485. Pat on the bak
1486. Path...
1. adversitee is the path tu truth (Lord Byron, 1800)
2. birth set yu on the path tu yer deth (Ed Yung, 1700)
3. em hu walk the well-trod path thro roks at him hu sho a nu wae
4. evree path hav puddels
5. if a blak kat kross yer path, yu will hav bad luk (superstishun)
6. if yu listen tu the wikked, yu start down that path (Konfushus, 500bc)
7. if yu make a gooder mous trap,
the werld will beet a path tu yer door (Ralf W Emersun, 1845)
8. pass all pebels on yer path & yu klimb mountins
9. the path from the ie tu the hart dont go thru the braen (Gilbert Chestertun, 1900)
10. the path av darkness mae not reech the lite
11. the path av lite is eezeeest tu find bi look up
12. the path from the ie tu the hart dont go thru the braen (Gilbert Chestertun, 1900)
13. the path tu danjer is smooth (Shakespeer)
14. valer is the path tu nonmortal (Virgil, 30bc)
15. visit freend often or weeds will choke the path (Ralf W Emersun)
16. walk in the path av others...yu dont leev NE footprints
17. well yuzed path is safest (Legal Maxim)
1487. Patriot...
1. a hous divided kant stand (Abe Linkoln)
2. a patriot must be redee tu defend his kuntree ginst his guvernment (Ed Abby, 1980)
3. a politishun will du NE-thang tu keep his job, even tern patriot (Will R Herst)
4. Amerika...luv it or leev it
5. Amerika is the oenlee ideelistik naeshun in the werld (Woodro Wilsun)
6. dont konfuse dissent with disloyal (Ed R Murro)
7. enliten the folks & tyranny will go (Tom Jeffersun)
8. Freedum is the last, best hope for erth (Abe Linkoln)
9. guvt av the folks, bi the folks, & for the folks (Abe Linkoln)
patriot
10. I oenlee regret I hav but 1 life tu giv for kuntree (Nathan Hale)
11. I was born Amerikan, liv amerikan, will die amerikan (Danyeel Webster, 1850)
12. I wood not be a slave, I wood not be a master (Abe Linkoln)
13. in matters av prinsapels, stand like a rok (Tom Jeffersun)
14. Is life so deer or pees so sweet tu bi it with the chaens av slaveree?
I dontno wot others will du, but for me, giv me libertee or giv me deth.
(Patrik Henree)
15. if yu deni others freedum, yu dont dezerv tu be free (Abe Linkoln)
16. land is the body av the naeshun. The sole bring it alive (James Garfeeld)
17. libertee & yuenyun, now & forever, 1 & same (Danyeel Webster)
18. look out for self bi look out for yer kuntree (Kalvin Kooleedj)
19. luv av kuntree feed patriot fire (J H McFarland)
patriot
20. luv kuntree best bi tri tu make it best (Robert G Ingersol)
21. mi kuntree, rite or rong. Wen rite, keep it rite. Wen rong, rite it. (Karl Shurt)
22. mi loyalee is tu kuntree, not the guvt or the offis holders (Mark Twaen, 1889)
23. no naeshun kan be half-free & half-slave (Abe Linkoln)
24. oenlee foers kan protekt libertee (Patrik Henree)
25. our konstitushun was made for moral folk. It wont werk for sum other kind (Jon Adams)
26. our kuntree, rite or rong. Wen rite, keep it rite. Wen rong, rite it (Karl Schurz)
27. ours is the oenlee kuntree founded on a good idea (Jon Gunther)
28. patriot is konvinsed his kuntree is better than all others (Jorj B Shaw)
29. patriot must alwaes be redee tu defend kuntree ginst his guvernment (Ed Abby)
patriot
30. patriotism is like charity...it start at home (Henree James)
31. plant yer feet in yer kuntree & keep yer ies on the werld (Jorj Santayana)
32. sum sae man kant be trusted tu guvern self. If not, hu? (Tom Jeffersun)
33. sweet tu serv kuntree with deeds (Sallust)
34. the Amerikan dreem is tu liberate human-kind (Archibald McLeish)
35. the basis av our politiks is the folks hav the rite
tu make & chaenj theer guvt (Jorj Washington)
36. the hart av Amerika...balans the freedum-tu & freedum-from (Marilin Vos Savant)
37. the konstitushun sae the power is in the folks.
It is theer rite & duty (Tom Jeffersun)
38. the rite tu kill a tirant is the same as hang a muderer or kill a flee (Jon Adams)
39. the sement av yuenyun is the hart-blood av evree Amerikan (Tom Jeffersun)
patriot
40. the werld will never forget wot em did heer (Abe Linkoln)
41. tu free the slave is tu protekt the free (Abe Linkoln)
42. we hold thees truths tu be self evident...all R made equal.
All R endowed bi his maker with permanent rites. Mung thees R
life, libertee, & the rite tu seek happiness (Tom Jeffersun & others)
43. we kant all be washington, but we kan be patriots (Charles F Brown)
44. we kant be trusted tu hav arms?
then huz hands kan we trust tu hav the arms? (Patrik Henree)
45. we oft forget happiness is more than lak av trajadee (Paul Sweenee)
46. we will be land av the free oenlee as long as we R the home av the brave (Elmer Davis)
47. weer libertee is, thats mi kuntree (Ben Franklin)
48. wen yu see the flag, see wot is behind it...
the guvt, prinsapals, truths, histree, the naeshun (Henree Ward Beecher)
49. wen yu thank freedum, remember the obligashuns (U S Grant)
patriot
50. wot yuze the land or life if freedum fael (Ralf W Emersun)
51. yer kuntree is a prinsapal. Patriot is loyal tu the prinsapal (Jorj W Kurtis)
52. yer oner kall yu, the gods go with yu (Shakespeer, Anthony & Cleopatra)
53. yunited we stand, divided we fall (Ben Franklin)
1488. Peeping Tom=look at sexy stuff
from tale av Godiva hu rode nude thru Koventree tu get a tax remuved (1250)
later others add tu tale...evreewon stae inside tu not see her, sept for tom
1489. pees (tipe 1=not war) (peace in krat speek)
1. aent no inner pees. Yer nervus til yu die (Fran Lebowitz)
2. an ie for an ie & evreewon end up blind (Gandhi)
3. best wae tu hav pees is be redee tu meet the foe (Jorj Washington, 1775)
4. blessed is the peesmakers for em shall be kalled suns av god (Mathyu)
5. deth bring pees & treshuers yu kant bi,
remuve paen dokters kant help (Mortimer Kollins)
6. dont rezent=find pees (Budda, 500bc)
7. eezeeer tu win war than win pees (Pedro Kalder, 1640)
8. fite yer vises, pees with naber, evree yeer better self (Ben Franklin)
9. giv pees a chans (Jon Lenon)
pees 1
10. god av viktree is 1-sided. With pees, all win (Ralf W Emersun)
11. good faeth & justis tu all. Pees & harmony with all (Jorj Washington)
12. him hu find pees at home is hapeeest (Jon von Goethe)
13. if war is lawful, pees must be a sin (C S Luis)
14. if yu want pees, avoid the pinpriks that leed tu kannon shot (Napoleon)
15. if yu want pees, be redee for war (Flovius Renatus)
16. in war:resolute. In defeet:defi.
In viktree:magnameenus. In pees:goodwill (Churchil)
17. Is life so deer or pees so sweet tu bi it with the chaens av slaveree?
I dontno wot others will du, but for me, giv me libertee or giv me deth.
18. let the trubel be in mi dae so mi kids kan hav pees (Tom Paen)
19. min talk=max pees (Chauser, 1380)
pees 1
20. more swet in pees=less blood in war (V L Pandit, 1940)
21. never a good war or a bad pees (Ben Franklin)
22. pees=agreed on period av cheet insted av fite faer (Ambrose Beers)
b. periods av cheeting tween periods av fiting
23. pees=quiet liberty (Cicero, 50bc)
24. pees foes...greed, ambishun, envy, get mad, pride (Fran Petrarch)
25. pees, like charity, start at home (Frank Roosevelt)
26. pees is good, but yu gotta spil blood tu get it (Andru Jakson)
27. pees is harder than war (Jorj B Shaw)
28. pees is in a small saelboet 1000 miles from land (Joe Konrad)
29. pees is its reward (Gandi)
pees 1
30. pees is not lak av konflikt, it is...liv with konflikt
31. pees is not popular (Abe Linkoln)
32. pees is the pauz wile evreewon relode
33. pees kum from understand, not from foers (Einstein)
34. pees on erth will kum tu stae
wen we liv Christmass evree dae (Helen Ries)
35. pees must kum from understand, not violens (Ralf W Emersun)
36. rest in pees
37. rite is better than pees (Woodro Wilsun)
38. the rebel kan never find pees (Albert Kamus, 1940)
39. The viktree will be lost if yu dont organize the pees (Aristotel)
pees 1
40. tu make pees, talk tu yer enemees (Moshe Dayan)
41. We make war so we kan liv in pees (Aristolel)
42. We seek pees. No that pees is the klimat for freedum (D D Eisenhower)
43. wen yu find pees inside, yu kan liv in pees with others (Pees Pilgrim)
44. with malis tuward nun, charity for all,
let us werk tu acheev a just & lasting pees (Abe Linkoln)
45. yu gotta find pees inside; dont seek it outside (Gandi)
46. yu kan hav pees or freedum, never both (Robert Heimlein)
47. yu kant hav pees longer than naber pleez
1490. pees (tipe 2=part)... (piece in krat speek)
1. But we du agree mamma, Jon want the biggest pees av kake & me 2.
2. free-lans riter is paed per pees, per werd, or perhaps (Robert Benchlee)
3. god kan heel a broke hart, but yu gotta giv him the peeses
4. its a pees av kake (or...pees av kake)
5. kompromise=kut the kake so evreewon thank him got the big pees (Ludwig Erhard)
6. laws R like a spider web. Em katch the week & poor.
The rich & powerful tare em tu peeses (Anacharsis, 600bc)
7. men go tu peeses, wemen go on kookin (Gael Sheehe)
8. men kik freends round like a football & it dont brake
wemen treet freends like glass & it gotu peeses (Ann M Lindberg)
1491. pees-av-mind or inner pees
1. for pees av mind, dont hav no pinyuns (G C Lichtenberg)
2. for pees-av-mind, dont weree bout the yunivers
3. i'll giv yu a pees av mi mind
4. mother-in-law...destroy yer pees-av-mind bi giv yu a pees av hers
5. pees-av-mind...yu aksept wot kum (Lin Tang, 1935)
6. poor long for riches, rich long for heven, wise long for inner pees (Swami Rama)
1492. pek...
1. pekking order=rank...from chikens. the 1's abuv pek the 1's belo
1493. pell-mell=konfused haest=run around like chiken with hed kut off
1494. pennee... (penny in krat speek)
1. a penee for yer thots
2. a penee for yer thots is same as yer 2 sents werth
3. as kleen as a penny
4. pennee for yer thots (a penny for yer thots)
5. pennee saved is pennee erned (Ben Fraklin)
6. pennee saved is redikkulus
7. penee wise, pound foolish ($ fuelish, 20 peso, 100 yen, 10,000 leer)
8. wen yu sae "a penee for yer thots", yu want 100$ werth av talk
1495. perfekt... (perfection in krat speek)
1. alwaes liv up tu yer standards, even if yu hafta loer em (Mignon Mclaughlin, 1966)
2. Amerikan wemen spekt husband tu be as perfekt as
brit wemen hope tu find in a butler (W Somerset Maughan, 1900)
3. be as perfekt as yer father in heven (bibel)
4. better diamond with flaw than perfekt rok (Konfushus)
5. chaes perfekt & yu get in the wae av impruev (Jorj F Will)
6. ded perfekshun no more (Alfred Tennysun, 1890)
7. dont be afraed av perfekt, yu wont reech it (Salvador Dali, 1945)
b. dont feer perfekt, yull never reech it
8. even ded is not perfekt (James Stefens, 1920)
9. goel=perfekt, xseelens tolerated (J Yal)
perfekt
10. gold kant be pure, folks kant be perkekt (Chineez)
11. I am nobody. Nobody is perfekt. Thus, me be perfekt.
12. if theer was nuthang rong in the werld, nuthang tu du (Jorj B Shaw, 1890)
13. if yu reech perfekshun, yu gotta die then & theer (Josh Billings, 1850)
14. if yu waet til yu kan duit perfekt, yull never start (Kardinal J Numan, 1840)
15. if yu wanna exsell, aem hi (Epictetus, 80ad)
16. if yu want perfekshun, dont look in a mirrer
17. its ok if yer less perkekt than me
18. korrektness is the last refuge av em with nuthang tu sae or du (Fred Wasiman)
19. me dont like perfekt person kauz him dont du nuthang (Henree W Beecher, 1840)
perfekt
20. no krime tu not be perfekt
21. nowon is perfekt. Thats wi pensils hav eraser.
22. perfekt=du a good job (Angel Arnauld)
23. perfekt freend is not perfekt (Goethe)
24. perfekt is a muving target (Jorj Fisher)
25. perfekt is dull (W Somerset Maugham, 1900)
26. perfekt is our destinee, not our lot (C J Weber)
27. perfekt is pinyun
28. perfekt last a split sekond (Vikom Chateobriand, 1800)
29. strive for exsellent motivate, strive for perkekt ruin yu (Harriet Braiken)
perfekt
30. sum bekum grate, num perfekt
31. the aem av perfekt is yueth (Okar Wild, 1880)
32. the kloesest yu get tu perfekt is wen yu fill out job form (Stan J Randal)
33. the perfekt dont komplaen others dont be (Joe Addisun, 1700)
34. the perfekt man find him not (StAugustine, 380ad)
35. the woods wood be silent if onelee the best birds sing (Henree VanDike)
36. tri for perfekt=go noweer (Tom Karliel, 1830)
37. tri for perfekt, no yu wont get it (Chesterfeeld, 1730)
38. tri tu sneek up on perfekt (Will Hazlit, 1800)
39. wen nowon meshuer up, chek yer yardstik (Bill Lemlee)
perfekt
40. wen we tri tu be gooder, we oft ruen wotz good (Shakespeer)
41. wen yu aem for perfekt, it muve (Jeffree Fisher, 1920)
42. xseelant is hard & rare (Benedikt Spinoza, 1680)
43. yu dont need tu be perfekt tu tri (Jorj Eliot, 1850)
44. yu will never be perfekt (Charleston Heston)
1496. perl... (pearl in krat speek)
1. perlee gates=door tu heven (Revelashuns)
2. perls av wisdum
1497. permanent...temp haerdu
1498. persepshun=reelity - wot yu spekt
1499. perseveer... (perseverance in krat speek)
1. if yu faes in the rite direkshun, yu just gotta keep going (Budda)
2. mae not be theer yet, but Im kloeser than yesterdae
3. perseveer...most thangs R duabel if yu duit bit bi bit (Plutarch)
4. perseveer=strong will; obstinut=strong wont (Henree Ward)
5. perseveer muve mountains or tunnels em
6. perseveer no matter wot [obsolete wae tu sae "keep going"]
7. stamp stik tuit til it get theer (stamp on envelop yu maeled)
8. water drip on rok & in time make a hole (Lucretius)
9. wen yu get tu the end av yer rope, tie a not & hang on (FDR)
1500. personal finans...
1. liv abuv yer meens=in danjer av liv belo it (Joe Addison)
2. no yer limits (Warren Buffet)
1501. perspektiv... (perspective in krat speek)
1. an ass prefer grass tu gold
2. blind beleef in 1 blind us tu others (Jorj Lichtenberg)
3. Devil kan site skripcher for his purpus (Shakespeer, Merchant av Venus)
4. efficient is smart lazee (David Dunham)
5. evree saent hav a past & evree sinner a fyucher (Oskar Wild, 1893)
6. for proper perspektiv, yu need dog hu wership yu & a kat that ignore yu (Derek Brues)
7. I had the blues kauz I had no shues.
til on the street, met man with no feet. (Denis Waetlee)
8. I wasnt lost, I was konfuzed for 3 daes (Danyeel Boon)
9. if evreedae was a holidae
tu sport wood be as teedeeus as werk (Shakespeer, Henree 4)
perspektiv
10. if yer hungree nuff, yull eet NE-thang
11. if yer oenlee tool is a hammer, evree problem look like a nael (Abe Masloe)
12. if yu sae "forward", yu gotta sae wich wae (Anton Chekov)
13. is the glass half full, half emptee, or 2 big?
14. its not that the solushun elude em, em dont see the problem (G K Chesterton)
15. just kauz its harder dont meen its werth it (St Tom Aquinas)
16. mi plae was a sukses, the audeeans faeled (Ashlee Brite)
17. retreet hell. We advans in dif direkshun (Mareen kore)
18. saint=sinner, ded, revised, edited (Ambrose Beers, 1911)
19. The rich wood hafta eet munee if the poor did not provide food (Rusya)
perspektiv
20. Thunder is impressiv, but litening du the werk (Mark Twaen)
21. we judj others bi wot em du. Judj self bi wot we intend (Ian Persee)
22. wot we see bi kandel lite mae be fawls in sunlite (joe Joubert)
1502. persun... (person in krat speek)
1. persun konvinsed ginst his will
is av the same pinyun still
1503. perswade is gooder than foers (Aesop, 600bc)
1504. pervers, pervert...
1. pervers law av naecher...yu kant tell ahed av time wich side av the bred tu butter
1505. peter prinsapal...evree boss get promoted tu his max level av not kompetent.
1506. pidgin English=basik English with other lingo added
was wons kommon in Aesya weer the nativs koodnt pronouns sum sounds
1507. pie int the ski=foolish hope, dreemer
1508. pig...
1. pig on longest leesh find most truffels
2. pig-heded as a mule
3. pigeon hole=plaes tu store, sort, klassifi paperwerk
4. pigs get fat, hogs get slottered
1509. pik (tipe 1=verb)
1. pik yer fite
2. pik yer poisun (drink)
1510. pik (tipe 2=pikcher)
(picture in krat speek, "photo" in super-krat, "photography" in super-super krat)
1. a pikcher is histree. It stae konstant, yu chaenj (Einstein, 1920)
2. a slide sho is 1000 piks
3. feer is a darkroom weer negativs develop (Usman B Asif)
4. I dont hav a pik. I'd giv yu mi footprint, but I left it in mi sok (Groucho Marx)
5. if I kood tell it in werds, I woodnt need tu lug around the kamra (Luis Hine)
6. paenting rekord wot artis remember. Pik sho wot we forget (Jon Berger)
7. pikcher is werth 1000 werds
8. pik=picture the sun paent without lernin or speerens (Ambrose Beers)
9. pik sho oenlee looks. Nuthang is wot it seem tu be (Duane Mikels)
10. pik taker spend lifetime looking for the rite time tu snap a snapshot (James L Keisom)
11. piks R akkurat, but fawls (Richard Avedon)
12. theer R 2 in evree pik, the taker & the looker (Ansel Adams)
13. yu kan hav fotografik memree without film
14. yu look at a pik, yu dont look intu it (Ansel Adams)
1511. pikel [pixel]...mischeevus imp that plae on puter skreen (Jef Mier)
1512. piknik... (picnic in krat speek)
1. grate plaes for a piknik...50 mil insekts kant be rong
2. woodnt be a piknik without ants
1513. Pin munee=small chaenj, pokket munee
1514. Pink Elefant
1515. pinyun... (opinion in krat speek)
1. 1 gage is werth 1000 xpert pinyuns (Graes Hopper)
2. 10 demokrats=20 pinyuns (Pat Leehee)
3. a man is wel-informed if his pinyun match yers
4. a master kan bring others round tu his pinyun in 20 yeers (Ralf W Emersun)
5. a sane persun hide his reel pinyuns & pretend tu aksept publik pinyuns (Mark Twain)
6. a statik pinyun groe flies (Will Blake, 1780)
7. a widespred beleef is probablee foolish (Berstrand Russel...1929)
8. all progress kum from nonpopular pinyun (Adli Stevensun)
9. Baby=gods pinyun the werld must go on (Karl Sandberg)
pinyun
10. Base yer life on others pinyun=slaveree (Lawana Blakwell)
11. brod minded meen him tu lazy tu form a pinyun (Will Rogers, 1920)
12. dont judj a man bi his pinyuns, but bi wot him made av self (Jorj Lichtenberg 1780)
13. dont kondlude the pinyun is rong wen the person lak oratory tu argue his (Tom Huxlee)
14. dont thank yer pinyuns R the hole truth or the oenlee truth (Charles Dana)
15. em with most pinyuns hav leest fakts (Beth McKenstri)
16. evree nu pinyun start as a minority av 1 (Tom Karliel, 1820)
17. evreewon is entiteled tu mi pinyn (Madonna)
18. fawls pinyuns ruen yu (Mark Antonius, 40bc)
19. for pees av mind, dont hav no pinyuns (G C Lichtenberg)
pinyun
20. hard nuff tu remember mi pinyuns,
kant remember reesun for em (Jorj Licthenberg...1750)
21. If I want yer pinyun, Ill ask for it.
22. If yu want his reel pinyun, get him mad (at yu) (Oliver W Holms)
23. in matters av pinyuns, our opponents R all mad (krazy) Mark Twain
24. its not publik pinyun, its published pinyun (W Churchil)
25. jeenyus & aristokrats R not influensed bi pinyuns av krowds (Edith Sitwell)
26. less fakts=stronger pinyun (Arnold Glaso)
27. many prefer the konfort av pinyun tu the diskonfort tu thank (JFK)
28. mi pinyuns mae chaenj, but I'm alwaes rite (Arlee Brite)
b.mi pinyuns mae chaenj, but not the fakt that I'm alwaes rite
29. most folks R sumwon els. Thots=sumwon elses pinyuns (Oskar Wild)
pinyun
30. most hav pinyuns oenlee kauz em R in fashun (Sam Jonsun, 1740)
31. No, yu dont hav the rite tu yer pinyun. Yu dont no wot yu talk bout (Andy Roonee)
32. No gruep kan withstand aroused publik pinyun (Franklin D Roosevelt)
33. nuthang chaenj yer pinyun av sukses as fast as sukses...yers or his (Franklin Jones)
sukses will chaenj yer pinyun av a freend, his or yers (same soers)
34. persun konvinsed ginst his will, is av the same pinyun still.
35. persun with no pinyun is seldum rong
36. perfekt is pinyun
37. Pinyun=deside without information (Jon Erskine)
38. Pinyun based on prejudis (or ignorans)
make the defender most violent (Fransis Jeffree)
39. Pinyuns chaenj, kreeds rise & fall, but moral law last forever (James Forude)
pinyun
40. Pinyun help yu deside without data (Jon Erskine, 1930)
41. Pinyun is the step tween ignorant & noit (Plato, 400bc)
42. Pinyuns oenlee bloom wen yu tell em tu sumwon (Mark Twain)
43. Prejudus=pinyun without judjment (Voltare)
44. publik is the oenlee kritik werth his pinyun (Mark Twain)
45. publik pinyun is week tirant. I thank for self. That is mi fate (Henree D Thoro)
46. publik pinyun pole is bad substitute for thank (Warren Buffet)
47. siens=nawleedj, pinyun=ignorant (Hippokrates...400bc)
48. sit tween 2 chaers & yu fall down [chuez wich side yu wanna be on] (Rusya)
49. smarter publik pinyun is required for soshal progres (Charles Eliot)
pinyun
50. stubborn pig-heded pinyun never broke a chaen or freed a sole (Mark Twain)
51. submit tu publik pinyun oenlee tu stae outta jael
more than that is teeranee (Berstrand Russel...1930)
52. the less fakts behind a pinyun, the stronger the emoshun attached tuit.
53. the more pinyuns yu hav, the less yu see (Win Wenders)
54. the oenlee sin we never forgiv is a diff pinyun (Ralf W Emersun, 1850)
55. the oenlee wons hu make sens R em hu agree with us (Fransis Roch....1650)
56. the stubborn dont hav pinyuns, pinyuns hav em (Alex Pope, 1720)
57. tu foers a man tu pae the guvt tu propagate its pinyun is a sin (Tom Jeffersun)
58. we gotta tell others R pinyuns tu get em tu bloom (Mark Twain)
59. we tolerate bad pinyun if we R free tu fite it (Tom Jeffersun, 1780)
pinyun
60. wen folks dont hav other tirant, theer pinyuns R theer tirant (Edward Litton)
61. wen I want yer pinyun, Ill giv it tu yu (Laurens J Peter)
62. wot yu thank av me is nun av mi biz (Teree Wittaker)
63. yer freedum tu yer pinyun kan oenlee be if the guvt thank it is safe (Bertrand Russel)
64. yer pinyuns chaenj as yu aej. thus, dont judj others til yu R old (Plato)
65. yer pinyuns sho yer character (Ralf W Emersun)
66. yu save a lotta time if yu dont ask for pinyuns (Mark Aurelius, 80ad)
1516. pipe...
1. pipe down=quiet, stop talk
2. pipe dreem=wild idea, krazy dreem
kum from dope smokers...halluesanate
3. piping hot=very hot [yuzyually food] (Chauser, 1380)
1517. pity...
1. evreewon pity the week. Jellus yu gotta lern (Arnold Swartzennaeger)
1518. plae...
1. plae fast & luse (Shakespeer)=sloppy, kareless, variabel
2. plae havok=ruin, destroy
3. plae it again Sam
4. plae it bi eer=deside as yu go, see how thangs werk out
5. plae on werds
6. plae possum=pretend, plae ded
7. plae sekond fiddel=2nd plaes, belo the maen man
8. plae the fool=silly
9. plae the hand yer deeled
10. plae the part & yu shall be it
11. plae the raes kard
12. plae tu the gallery=aem for the kommon folk, wanna be popular
13. plae with matches and yu will get berned
14. plae yer kards kloes tu the vest=sekret, kareful
1519. plaes... (places in krat speek)
1. a plaes for evreethang & evreethang in its plaes
2. em tipped up the kuntree & evreethang lues slided intu Kalifornya
3. Kalifornya...blonds R the state flower
4. Kalifornya...em mistake kulcher lag for renasawns (Ashlee Montagu)
5. Kalifornya is a good plaes tu liv, if yer an oraenj
6. Manhattan...vertikal sitee av diamonds (Corbusier)
7. modern manshun dont hav plaes for goests (Oliver W Holms, 1872)
8. Nu York is the simbol av the US (E B Wite)
9. plaes in the sun=take wot shood be our rite (Germany, 1897)
10. The koldest winter I spent was summer in San Fransisko (Mark Twaen)
11. Vegas...modern amenitees in land not fit tu gro tomatoes (Jasun Luv)
12. yu kan fall in luv with a plaes, same as with a persun (Alex Waug)
1520. plan...
1. best defens is offens & me plan tu start offending now (Capt James)
2. Best plan will never replaes dum luk
3. Best laed plans of mice and men oft go ari (Robert Bern, 1785)
4. chans shood kum bi plan, not akseedent (Fil Krosbee)
5. Dont plan fyucher on the past (Edmund Burk)
6. evreethang is harder, take longer & kost more than planned
7. Folks no yu bi the werk yu du, not bi wot yu plan tu du
8. game plan=plans
9. histree is a tool politishuns yuze tu justifi theer plans (Ted Koppel)
plan
10. how tu make god laff...tell him yer plans for the fyucher (Woody Allen)
11. I plan tu liv forever. So far, so good.
12. if yer projekt dont werk, tri plan B
13. if yu dont plan for self, yu will be part av sumwon elses plan
14. if yu fael tu plan, yu plan tu fael
15. if yu plan long & hard nuff, yu dont hafta du nuthun
16. if yu plan tu hav free time, yuze yer time good (Ben Franklin)
b. Yuze yer time good if yu plan tu hav free time
17. if yu plan tu help, yu kan kritize (Abe Linkoln)
18. if yu smile wen thangs go rong, yu plan tu blame sumwon
19. life happen wen yu hav other plans (Jon Lennon)
plan
20. moderat plan will fael kauz 1 extreem
or the other will kill it (Klemens Metternich, 1830)
21. mortifying tu kompare wot yu did tu wot yu planned (Sam Jonsun, 1770)
22. never plan tu fael (Will Ward)
23. pipe dreem=not possabel wild hope or plan
24. plans R oenlee good intent unless em degrade intu werk (Peter Druker)
25. rigid plan is bad (Pubilus Syrus)
26. small deeds dun R better than big deeds planned (Peter Marshal)
b. small good deed is better than grand plans
27. take half the klothes & 2-times the munee yu planned (Susan Andersun)
28. The basis for prosperitee...war, debt, planned obsoleet (Aldous Huxlee)
29. the plan is nuthang, planning is evreethang (D D Eisenhower)
plan
30. the plan is nuthang unless it degenerate intu hard werk (Peter Druker)
31. yu plan tu reform tumorro. But tumorro never kum (Ben Franklin)
1521. pleez
1. I kan oenlee pleez 1 persun a dae.
tudae is not yer dae & neether is tumorro.
1521. plesant...
1. plesant tu be asked tu du sumthang on the ground yu kant duit (Jorj Santayana)
1522. pleshuer... (pleasure in krat speek)
1. anziety go with pleshuer (Ovid)
2. konshus seek pleshuer=self-defeet (Max Eestman)
3. men chase plesuer in haest & hurry past it (Soren Kierkegard)
4. pleshuer is max wen yu antisipate. So is trubel (Elbert Hubbard)
5. pleshuer is the baet for sin (Plato)
6. pleshuer is the flower, memrees the perfume (Jeen Boufflers)
7. pleshuer require variety (Syrus)
8. the reward for evree pleshuer is paen (Will Henlee)
9. wen yu dive for pleshuer, yu get more roks than peerls (Honer Balzak)
1523. plublisity...
1. plublisity is good, good plublisity gooder (P T Barnum)
1524. Plum tukkered out
1525. Plumb the depths=as lo as yu kan get
1526. plump as a partreedj
1527. poem
1. I red a poem bi poe
wich won?
Edgar Allan
1528. poet... (poetry in krat speek)
1. emoshun bekum thot, thot bekum werds (Robert Frost)
2. I gave up on poetree kauz it seemed like koded messages
tween lonelee aeliens (Russel Baker)
3. lite vers dont go with hevee hart (Russel Baker)
4. no munee in poetry, no poetry in munee (Robert Graves, 1962)
5. poet=man rebel ginst self (James B Kabel)
6. poet kan survive evreethang sept misprint (Oskar Wild)
7. poetik justis=reel just
8. poetik lisens=stretch truth, fanseeful, xagerate
9. poetry is an ekko av a shado av a dans (Karl Sandberg)
10. tu find poetry, yu gotta bring it with yu (Joe Joubert)
1529. poker...
1. aft 20 minuts, if yu dontno hu sukker iz, its yu
2. kards=war disgized as sport (Charles Lamb)
3. poker...kard game sum sae em plae; reesun not noed (Ambrose Beers)
4. poker...nowon wanna quit wen him luze, nowon wanna stop wen ahed (Jakkee Robinson)
5. poker faes=blank, no spreshun, dont sho nuthan
6. poker is the baddest form av kapitalism (Walter Matthau)
7. poker is the biggest waest sins advertising (Raemond Chandler)
8. sivilized bushwakker (Nik Dandalos)
1530. pokket..
1. waet, I left sumthang in mi pokket.
good, its stil alive.
1530. polite is akseptabel substitute for hipokrasee (Ambroes Beers)
1530. politikal korrekt, part 1=skolar werds bout (politically correct in krat speek)
(politikal-korrekt, tipe 1=skolars)
1. if yu lern pol-kor, hu wood yu speek it tu? (Klarens Darro)
2. in Yerrop, yu kan be prosekuted if yu hert the feelings av a
"sertified viktum gruep" (Don Feder, 28 Oct 2002)
3. it is pol-kor tu be bigoted tuward konservativs & Christians (Jan Golab)
4. moral indignashun=jelus with halo (H G Wells)
5. nuz...Brit kops refused tu konsider Brit Army retiree kauz
him had brit flag tatoo on his arm.
Kops sed that is "raesist"
6. politikal korrekt=duit the guvt wae=the elitists wae (1793)
7. pol-kor is effeminsee (Mason Koolee)
8. pol-kor is kulcher marxism...totalitarian ideology (Bill Lind)
9. pol-kor is organized hate (Jak Barzun)
10. pol-kor is self-appointed vigilantes
em impose theer bias on others, just like Kommees (Doris Hessing)
11. pol-kor is sensership (Jorj Bush)
12. pol-kor is the grate dazeez av our senchery (Bill lind)
13. pol-kor is the last refuse av em with nuthang tu sae (Fred Wasiman)
14. pol-kor make relijus or ethnik war unthankabel,
unmenshunabel, & un printabel (Peter Malhern)
15. pol-kor meen yu gotta end evree sentens with "sawree" (Charles Osgood)
16. The nu kongresman sed him will tern around the guvt.
I ges that meen I will get run over agin.
17. Vulkan nek pinch is politikal korrekt, groin kik is not (Star Trek)
1531. politikal korrekt zampels
politikal korrekt exampels
1532. politiks, politishuns, politikans
see also...kongres
1. 2 portant thangs: 1=munee. other...I dont remember. (Mark Hanna)
2. 2 sides tu evree quesshun. Tu hold publik offis, yu hafta be on both sides.
3. 5 hats: politikan gotta hav 5 hats: weer 1, thro 1 in ring,
pass 1 around, talk thru 1, & 1 for tu pull rabbits outta.
4. 90% av polatiks is deside hu tu blame (Meg Greenfeeld)
5. 90% av politishuns giv the other 10% a bad rep (Kissinger)
6. a good politishun is like a onest burglar (H L Menchen, 1925)
7. a majoritee is gooder than a good kum-bak (Ben Disraeli, 1870)
8. a politishun lurks under evree rok (Aristofanes)
9. a politishun never beleev self, so is sprized wen sumwon trust wot him sae (C. DeGaul)
politiks
10. a politishun wood get around god (Shakespeer)
11. a radikal hav both feet planted firm in the aer (Franklin d Roosevelt, 1930)
12. a statesman iz a ded politishun (Bob Edwards)
13. advertizers & politikans R danjerus separat. Tugether, em R diabolikal (Filip Adams)
14. all partees share 1 thang...our munee
15. all politikal partees die wen em swallo theer lies (Jon Arbuthnot, 1970)
16. an onest politishun...wons bot, stae bot (Simon Kameron)
17. anywon kan win, unless sumwon els also run (Jorj Ade)
18. best thang bout the kanidates...oenlee 1 kan get elekted (Will Rogers)
19. both partees tri tu pruve other is not fit tu rule kuntree.
Both sukseed; both R rite (H L Mencken, 1956)
politiks
20. Charj & warn. Never offer solushun. (Franz Jo Straus)
21. danjerus tu sae sumthang folks mite remember (Yujeen McKarthy)
22. diapers & politikans both need chaenjing...& for same reesun
23. differens tween demokrat & republikan? 1 is in, the other out
24. dont matter wot I sae as long as me sound different (Jerry Brown)
25. dont vote, it will oenlee inkeraej em
26. eech party is badder. The 1 that is out look best (Will Rogers)
27. Elekshun end in 2 weeks,
but will take 2 jenerashuns tu kleen up the dirt (Will Rogers)
28. em hu like sausage or politiks shood not watch it be made
29. emptee stomak is not good politikal adviser (A Einstein)
politiks
30. for politikans tu tri tu dump the president kauz av his morals
is like hav mafia bump-off the godfather for dont gotu cherch (Russel Baker)
31. for yeers, politikans promised the moon. I delivered it (Richard Nixon)
32. get fools on yer side & yu kan be elekted tu NE-thang (Frank Dane)
33. get glass ies & like a politishun pretend tu see wot yu dont (Shakespeer)
34. guvt=rule & deseev (Ben Disraeli)
35. grate men dont du politiks (Albert Kamus, 1950)
36. hell hav no fury like a politishun denied his kut (Ben J montabana)
37. I detest all guvts (Lord Biron, 1810)
38. I didnt inhale (Bill Klinton, 1990)
39. I dont like politikal jokes...2 many get elekted
b. dont appruve av politikal jokes...
politiks
40. I dont vote for NE-1, I vote ginst (W C Feelds)
41. I sed tu politishun "yull dubelkros that bridj wen yu kum tuit" (Oskar Levant)
42. I tell yu folks, all politiks is appel saus (Will Rogers)
43. I was tu onest tu be a politishun (Sokrates, 420 bc)
44. if a 20 yr old is not liberal, him dont hav a hart
if a 40 yr old is not konservativ, him dont hav a braen (W Churchil, 1920)
45. if a polatishun dont duit tu his wife, him duit tu us (Amy Grant)
46. if polikan kill his mother, all polikans sae em ginst Matriside (Meg Greenfeeld)
47. if god wanted us tu vote, he wood giv us kanidates (Jae Leno)
48. if the smart dont du politiks, em R ruled bi the dum (Plato)
49. if the vote chaenjed NE-thang, em wood make it illegal (Emma Goldman)
politiks
50. if truth hert, how kum yu never see politikan winch?
51. if xersize remuv fat, wi du so many politikans hav dubel chins?
52. if yu dont du politiks, it will du yu in
53. if yu dont thank politiks is a joke, yu R part av the problem (Jon J Chapman, 1890)
54. if yu never met a perfekt person, gotu a politikal speech.
55. if yu wanna be part av politiks,
yu gotta put yer munee weer yer mouth is (Ed Forgotson)
56. in politiks, absurd is no handikap (Napoleon, 1800)
57. in politiks, as in luv, timing & luk R fundamental (James Reston)
58. in politiks, issues R true. Oenlee the fakts R made up.
59. in politiks, short memree is good (Jon K Galbraith)
politiks
60. in politiks, the chois is tween 2 or more evils (Jon Morlee, 1880)
61. in politiks, yu attak yesterdaes lie
as a wae tu flatter tudaes lie (Jeen Rostad, 1940)
62. in politiks, yu duel with skunks, so dont let em chuez the wepon (Joe Kannon)
63. in politiks, yu kan be rong, but never in dout
64. in time Siens will find out how tu shrink politikan B4 him get lekted
65. in war, yu mae die 1 time. In politiks, many times (W Churchil)
66. it wood be suiside tu kum up with an original idea (E B White, 1935)
67. Jorj Washington is oenlee president that did not blame prior admin
68. just kauz yu dont take interest in politiks
dont meen politiks wont take an interest in yu (Periceles, 430 bc)
69. kanadate for kongres need 2 helpers...1 tu dig up fakts, other tu burry em
politiks
70. konservativ...konsult yer grandma wen in dout (Woodro Wilsun)
71. konservativ admire radikal 200yrs aft him die (Leo Rosten)
72. konservativ beleev nuthang shood be dun the first time (Al E Wiggam)
73. konservativ distrust folks, tempered bi feer
liberal trust folks, tempered bi prudens (Will E Gladstone, 1866)
74. krime dont pae as much as politiks (Alfred Numan)
75. liberal...him leev wen the fite start (Haewood Brown, 1920)
76. liv so yu wont be ashamed tu sell the famlee parrot tu town gossip (Will Rogers)
77. look for trubel, find it, misdiagnose it, mis appli rong remedee (Grocho Marx)
78. many a man go intu politiks with good fyucher & kum out with terribel past
79. mi speereens is politishuns dont alwaes meen the opposit av wot em sae (Abba Eban)
politiks
80. Midus tuch it & it tern tu gold
yu tuch politikan with gold & it tern intu wot yu want (Jon Wolkot)
81. munee is mother's milk av politiks (Jesse Unruh)
82. NE-won hu wanna be president shood be automatik disqualified (Gore Vidal)
83. no nuthang, thank him no all. it iz kleer politiks is for him (Jorj B Shaw, 1910)
84. no party is as bad as its leeders (Will Rogers, 1910)
85. oenlee emoshunal kripels go intu politiks (Auberon Waug)
86. oenlee reesun for elekshun is tu see if the poles R rite (Robert Ober)
87. onest politikan...wons bot, stae bot (W J Kameron)
88. polikan need 3 hats...1. thro in ring,
2. talk thru, 3. pull rabbits from (Karl Sandberg)
89. politikal bee that buz in many a bonnet is a hum-bug.
politiks
90. politikal chois:tu be a hiprokrit or a lier
91. politikal kommershals on TV pruev kanidates
kan list all theer good points in 30 sekonds
92. politikal konvenshun is like meet market...get yer chois av baloenee
93. politikal party is orged pinyun (Ben Disraeli)
94. politikal problems R beyond solushun.
Ekonomik problems beyond understanding (Alex D Home)
95. politikan...persun hu never met a tax he didnt hike
96. politikan dans...2 steps forward, 1 step bak, 1 side step
97. politiks...aer is full av speeches & vise versa
98. politiks...chuez tween disaster & unplatabel (Jon K Galbraith)
99. politiks...duns or roeg (Emma Goldman, 1910)
politiks
100. politiks...get the fakts after yu deside
101. politiks...publik affaers for private gaen (Ambrose Beers, 1911)
102. politiks...yu R good if not a kriminal, wise if not redikulus (Frank M Kolby, 1900)
103. politiks=art:look for trubel
find it, diagnose it rong, appli rong remedy (Ernest Ben)
104. politiks=ignore fakts (Henree B Adams, 1880)
105. politiks=organized, united hate (Jon J Chapman, 1900)
106. politiks=sharks serkel & waet for blood (Alan Klark)
107. politiks depend on hu is best at tell lies (Ian Stewart)
108. politiks deside hu get wot, wen & wi (Sidnee Hillman, 1944)
109. politiks dont werree folks half as much as how tu find a parking spaes (Will Rogers)
politiks
110. politiks is a big gambel (Ben Disraeli)
111. politiks is full av gut & gravel (Henree D Thoro, 1845)
112. politiks is like football. If yu see daelite, go thru the hold (JFK)
113. politiks is not the biggest werree, make the next paement is (Will Rogers)
114. politiks is the art av the next best(Otto Bismark, 1870)
115. politiks is the art av the possabel (Bismark)
116. politiks is the opposit av siens...konklude first, then look for stuff tu support it
117. politiks is tu seereus tu leev tu politikans (Charles DeGaul)
118. politiks is war without bloodshed. War is politiks with bloodshed (Mao the tung)
119. politiks kum from poly=many & tiks=blood sukking parasites(Larry hardimon)
politiks
120. politiks make fools av evreewon (Dik Armee)
121. politiks make me sik (Willyum H Taft, 1920)
122. politiks make straenj bedfelloes
123. politiks never end (Ben Disraeli)
124. politiks seem tu be rite or left, insted av rite or rong (Richard Armor)
125. politiks start with feer, end in folly (Sam T Koleridj, 1800)
126. politishun=danjerus lunatik (W H Auden, 1940)
127. politishun: "I'm a self-made man"
voter: "apology aksepted"
128. politishun...1 dae yer on the kuver av Time, next dae yu du time.
129. politishun...sumwon hu sae "a werd tu the wise is nuf", then giv 90-minut speech.
politiks
130. politishun...wen theers lite at the end av the tunnel,
him get more tunnel (Jan Quinton)
131. politishun and diapers shood be chaenjed a lot
132. politishun announs his vyues from his hedjquarters.
133. politishun approech evree quesshun with open mouth (Adli Stevensun, 1950)
134. politishun at end av long speech: "R theer NE quesshuns?"
vois:"Hu els run?"
135. politishun divide time tween run for offis & fun for kuver.
136. politishun dont no wich wae is up & taxes dont no wich wae is down (Robert Orben)
137. politishun is full av promises that go in 1 yeer & out the other.
138. politishun is like dieper...need chaenjing regular wen it dirtee self
139. politishun keep his balans bi du the opposit av wot him sae (Barres)
politiks
140. politishun kum out shooting from the lip.
141. politishun refuze tu anser quesshun on the grounds it mite eliminate him.
142. politishun sae him beef up the ekonomee. Kant tell beef from pork (Harold Lomon)
143. politishun shake yer hand B4 lekshun; shake yer konfidens aft.
144. politishun stand for wot him thank yu will fall for.
145. politishun will lae down yer life for his kuntree (Tex Guian)
146. politishuns R a bunch av yo-yos (Saul Bello)
147. politishuns R the same...promis tu bild a bridj
weer theers no river (Nikita Krushshev, 1970)
148. politishuns start wars (Westmoreland)
149. politishuns talk self red-wite-blue in the faes (Klare Bueth Luce)
politiks
150. politishuns thank em kan fool all folks all the time (Frank Adams)
151. problem av politiks... how tu win & not pruev yu R not werthee (Adli Stevensun)
152. problem with politikal joke...em get elekted (Henree Kate)
153. promising yung man shood du politiks so him kan promis forever (Robert Byrn)
154. reesun & good will dont appli tu politiks (A Einstein)
155. reesun for fyu femael politishuns...2 hard tu put on 2 faeses (Maureen Murfee)
156. republikans split after the elekshun; demokrats B4 (Will Rogers)
157. rezolved...rule or ruin the kuntree (Jon Driden, 1660)
158. Rome had senaters & it deklined (Frank Dane)
159. sho me a man hu sleep at politikal speech & I'll sho yu a bulldozer.
politiks
160. skilled politishun...wen him kum tua fork in the roed, him take both (Marko Almazon)
161. sling mud & yu luze ground (Adlai Stevenson)
162. speek forever & dont sae nuthang (Plato)
163. statesman=ded politishun (harry S Truman, 1950)
164. statesmanship...get the formalitees rite, ignore moralitee (Mark Twain)
165. suksesful politishun sae wot yu thank loudest (Theodore Roosevelt, 1900)
166. sum approech evree problem with open mouth (Adlai Stevenson)
167. Texas hav a lotta elektrikal votes (Yogi Berra)
168. thangs wood be a lot eezeer if I was diktater (Jorj Bush [b4 him bekame pres])
169. the good av man must be the end av politiks (Aristotel, 340bc)
politiks
170. the gratest politikal lies av all time, volume 10
171. the kings kort is full but emptee av freends (Seneka, 50ad)
172. the minister is a jeenyus at put flamboant labels on bags (Aneurin Bevan, 1935)
173. the polikan is mi shepherd...I want;
he make me lae down on park benches
he leed me bi stil faktrees
he disturb mi sole
yae tho I walk thru the vallee av the shadoe of depressed & resess
me dont see no rekuveree, for him is with me
him redues mi pae in front av mi foes
him annoit mi inkum with big loss
mi spend overrun
shuerlee unemploed & povertee shall follo me all the daes av mi life
I shall liv in morgaged hous forever
174. the problem with politikal jokes is em get elekted (Henree Kate)
175. The Republikans kant hert mi character. Me duit bi self (Bill Klinton)
176. the rite man in the rite plaes at the rite time...kan steel milyuns (Greg Nun)
177. the werd "politiks" kum from poly=many & tiks=blood sukking parasites(Larry hardimon)
178. the werld is tired av men demokrasee degraded intu politishuns (Ben Disraeli)
179. theer is no more independens in politiks than jael (Will Rogers, 1920)
politiks
180. theer R men av prinsapal, but no party av prinsapal (Alex Tokquevil)
181. theer shood be 1 dae a yeer that is open seesun on senaters (Will Rogers)
182. this kood be first lekshun weer all kanidates R sekond
183. trik is tu win without pruve yu shoodnt (Adlai Stevenson)
184. truth is not based on majority vote (Doug Gwin)
185. tu bekum master, politishun pretend tu be servant (Charles deGaul)
186. university politiks is so vishus kauz the stakes R so small (Henree Kisinger)
187. vote for the man hu promis less...he will disapoint less (Bernard Baruch)
188. Washingtonites leev bi a box...ballet or koffin (Klaerborn Pel)
189. we hang small theefs & put big wons intu publik offis (Aesop)
politiks
190. we need men with nuff character tu resist temptashun (Kalvin Kooleedj, 1910)
191. we wood like tu vote for the best man, but him dont run (Kin Hubbard)
192. wen I was a boy, I herd NE-1 kan bekum president. Now I beleev it (Klarens Darro)
193. wen lawmakers kontrol bi/sell, first thang tu be bied/sold is lawmakers (P J O'Rourk)
194. wen politishun die, it shood be listed under "publik impruvements" (Frank Dane)
195. wen we get sik we dont ask for the most eloguent dokter (Plato, 400bc)
196. wen yer tu old tu be a klerk or gardener,
yer ripe tu run a kuntree (W Somerset Maugham, 1960)
197. wen yu hav em bi theer wallets, theer harts & minds will follo (Fern Naito)
198. wen yu kampaen, never menshun yer opponent bi name,
that mae get him the hedlines (Harry S Truman).
199. wot go up kum down, wot go down oft kum up (Richard Nixon)
politiks
200. wot kill skunk is the publisitee it giv self (Abe Linkoln)
201. wot politiks need is kash register with muffler onit
202. wot the kuntree need is more outta-werk politishuns (Ed Langlee)
203. yu kritize a polatishun, but his wife luv him, & all the mistresses 2 (Pamela Jonsun)
204. yukan teech flees tu du NE-thang a kongressman kan (Mark Twain)
1533. poll
1. how far wood Moses get if him first take a poll?
1533. poo...
1. poo-bah=self-portant, full av self (Will Gilbert, 1885)
2. poo-poo=disdaen, kontempt, yer dum
1534. poor... (poverty in krat speek)
1. dirt poor...in middel aejes poor folks had dirt floors, rich has rok or brik
2. emptee pokket dont hold yu bak, emptee hed du (Norman V Peel)
3. hi ideels meen nuthang wen yu starv (O Henree, 1907)
4. hungree make NE man a theer (Perl Buk)
5. I werked mi wae up from nuthang tu extreem provertee (Grocho Marx)
6. if the guvt kauz the misery av the poor, it is sin (Charles Darwin)
7. it wood be good if the poor got half the munee
the guvt spend tu study the poor (Bill Vaugham)
8. poor and kontent is rich, and rich is nuff (Shakespeer)
9. poor as a cherch mous
poor
10. poor baby, kri me a hand full av teers
11. poor excuse if gooder than nun
12. poor is the man hu want more (Seneka, 60ad)
13. poor long for riches, rich long for heven, wise long for inner pees (Swami Rama)
14. poorer is him hu want tu much (Tom Fuller, 1650)
15. poorer than dirt (dirt poor)
16. sum sae "better poor & happy than rich & miserabel"
how bout middel ground...half rich & moody (Diana)
17. the poor dont see eloquence (Juvenal)
18. the poor will alwaes be with us (Jesus)
19. tu be poor is the mother av krime (Mark Aurelius)
poor
20. tu be poor punish yu for a krime yu didnt du (Eli Kamarov)
21. we oenlee ate chicken wen we was sik, or the chiken was (Bernald Malamud)
22. we R afraed tu be poor (Will James)
23. yu kant get rid av the poor bi giv awae munee (Pat O'Rourk)
1535. popular...
1. emoshuns & passhuns R popular. Reesun hide in a select fyu (Jon vonGoethe)
2. yu will be popular if yu pretend tu like it wen others bore yu (Karol Nulin)
1536. populashun...
1. populashun inkreez geometrik til stopped bi bad stuff (war, dazeez, starv, plaeg,...)
(Tom Malthus, 1800)
2. the werld is populated bi em hu shood not be (Jorj B Shaw, 1900)
1537. pore...
1. pore kold water on=kritize, diskeraej
2. pore oil on trubeled water=sooth, kalm, eez
1538. portant... (important in krat speek)
1. a man av valyu is more portant than sukses (A. Einstein)
2. guvt...wot seem is more portant than wot be.
more portant tu look like yuno than tuno. (Danyel Webster)
3. guvt is tu portant tu leev tu politikans [politishans] (Chester Boles)
4. if it go good, yu overlooked sumthang portant (Murfees law)
5. it is not nuff tu hav a good mind. Portant tu yuze it good. (rene Dekartes)
6. it is portant [that] folks no wot yu stand for,
& wot yu wont stand for (Mary H Waldrip)
7. most portant thangs R dun bi em hu dont giv up wen theer seem no hope (Dale Karnajee)
8. nies tu be portant, more portant tu be nies
9. smoking kills. If yer ded, yu lost portant part av yer life (Brook Sheelds)
10. spaes aej, the most portant spaes is tween the eers (Ann Armstrong)
11. Sumtimes the quesshun is more portant than the anser (Nansee Willard)
12. the kauz is more portant than wot happened (Markus Cicero, 50bc)
13. the longer the titel, the less portant the job (Jorj Mcgovern)
14. the most portant thang yu weer is the xpresshun on yer faes
15. The portant part av werk is tu start (Plato)
16. The spirit tu resist guvt is so portant, it must be kept alive (Tom Jessersun)
1539. poses...
1. poseshun is 90% av the law:land law...if yu sit onit, yu hav good legal kase
2. posessions R spekted tu make yer kids happy
this pathetik hope is behind much werk (Jorj Santayana)
1540. positiv
1. positiv attitude mae not solv the problem,
but it annoy others nuff tu make it werth it (Henree Albrite)
2. thank positiv...wen yu fall in kreek, chek pokkets for fish
1541. possabel...(possibilities in krat speek)
1. dont gage how hi the berg til yu get tu the top (Dag Hammrskold, 1950)
2. evree man thank him kan du more (Ralf Waldo Emersun, 1850)
3. how far is far, how hi is hi? wont no til yu tri
4. I prefer probabel nonpassabels tu nonprobabel nonpossabels (Aristotel)
5. I want men hu dont no wot yu kant du (Henree Ford, 1900)
6. keep yer feet on the ground & yer thots in the ski (Pees Pilgrim, 1950)
7. look and yu will find wot yu didnt seek (Sofokeles, 450 bc)
8. look at thangs as em kan be (David J Schartz)
9. many liv far belo theer kan-du (Ralf Waldo Trine)
10. mi bounty is boundless (Shakespeer)
11. no matter how far yu go, the horizon is still far awae (Zora N Hurston, 1950)
12. nowon no wot is or not possabel (Henree Ford, 1900)
13. wen yu eliminate the not possabel, wots left is the anser (Aurthur K Doyle, 1900)
14. wont no wot yu kan du til yu tri (Publilus Syrus, 100ad)
15. "wot iz" get in the wae av wot kood be
16. yu dont no wot yu kan-du til yu tri
17. yu kan hav it all, but not all at wons (Opra Winfree)
18. yu R more than wot yu du (Ralf W Emersun, 1860)
1542. post haest=fast
1543. post offis
1. if the werld get smaller, wi du post offis keep raesing stamp pries?
1544. Pot...
1. pot kall the kellel blak=yu blame others for yer bad du
2. pot luk=yu kan eet wot we hav on hand
3. Potty mouth=dirty talk, nasty, kuss a lot
1545. Pound av flesh=pae up (Shakespeer, Merchant av Venis, 1596)
1546. povertee... (poverty in krat speek)
see also...poor
1. a man hu is satisfied with his povertee is rich (Seneka)
2. povertee breed diskontent
3. povertee hav no freends
4. povertee is a bag with a hole in the bottom (Anzia Yezierska, 1950)
5. povertee is not disgraes, but is dam nonkonveenyent (Sidnee Smith, 1900)
6. povertee is the parent av revolushun (Aristotel)
7. supplus want kauz more povertee than lak av munee
1547. power...
1. a freend in power is a freend lost (Henree B Adams, 1875)
2. a man hu just got power is alwaes stern (Aeschylus, 480 bc)
3. an onest man dont like tu hav power over his fello man (Tom Jeffersun)
4. biing-power is a lisens tu bi power (Raoul Voneigem)
5. fools korrupt power (Jorj B Shaw, 1900)
6. gage a man bi wot him du with power (Pittakus, 600bc)
7. If skuel results was the kee tu power, girls wood run the werld (Sara Boselee)
8. If yu wanna test a mans character, giv him power (Abe Linkoln)
9. politikal power kum from the barrel av a gun (Mao the tung, 1930)
power
10. power alwaes thank it is beyond the understanding av the week (Jon Adams, 1775)
11. power dont korrupt men unless a fool korrupt power (Jorj Bernard Shaw)
12. power inklude wot the enemee thank yu hav (Saul Alinsky, 1950)
13. power is mi mistres (Napoleon, 1800)
14. power is the absolute afrodeeshiak (Henree Kishinger)
15. power korrupt & absolute power korrupt absolute (lord Akton, 1907)
16. power korrupt, but we need the lektrik just the same
17. powers that be=guvt, brass, boss...yuzed tu sae we kant du nuthang bout it
18. sum seek power & luze libertee (Fransis Bakon, 1600)
19. The luv av power is the luv av self (Will Hazlit)
power
20. watch grate wons for madness (Shakespeer)
21. we had power & thus thot we was wise (Steev V Benet, 1930)
22. yu hav the power tu influens all
1548. prae... (pray in krat speek)
1. as long as teech giv tests, theer will be praers in skuel
2. prae=ask god tu set aside the laws av th e yunivers for 1 petishuner
hu admit him not werthy (Ambrose Beers)
1549. praes... (praise in krat speek)
1. after yu die, yu will be praesed
2. praes loud, blame soft (Catherin 2 av Russya, 1780)
3. praes the yung tu make em bluem
4. tu fish for praes, plant the seeds:freendlee werds & kind deeds
5. we werk for praes, rest wen we get it (Mignon McLaughlin,1960)
1550. praktis... (practice in krat speek)
1. praktis make perfekt
2. praktis wot yu preech
1550. predestinashun was doomed from the start
1551. predestrian...
1. predestrian=sumwon hu thot him had plentee av gas in the tank
1552. predikt...
1. best wae tu predikt the fyucher is invent it
2. better tu forsee with much dout than not at all (Henree Poinkare)
3. ekonomist is xpert hu will no tumorro wi wot him predikted yesterdae
didnt happen tudae (Evan Esar)
4. forkast fyucher is like serch dark room
for blak kat that mae not be theer (Steev Davidsun)
5. forkast is the art av sae wot will happen, then xplaen wi it didnt
6. forkaster yuze statistiks like drunk yuze lite post...
for support, not lite (Andru Lang)
7. fyucher aent wot it yuzed tu be
8. giv em a event or a date, but not both
9. hard tu predikt, xtra hard tu predikt fyucher (Neels Bohr)
predikt
10. him hu liv bi kristal ball suen lern tu liv with ground glas (Edgar R Feeldler)
11. I am interested in the fyucher kauz I will spend
the rest av mi life theer (C F Kettering)
12. I predikt Amerika will be happy is we kan prevent the guvt from
ruin evreethang bi pretend tu take kare av us (Tom Jeffersun)
13. if yu kan look intu the seeds av time & tell me which graen will gro
and wich not, then speek tu me (Shakespeer)
14. modern smart man spekt the unexpekted (Oskar Wild)
15. much better tu profasize after (W Churchil)
16. predikt is very hard, xtra so for fyucher (Neels Bohr)
17. sum thangs sprize all (nowon predikted it) (Leo Rosten)
18. The present is pregnant with the fyucher (Voltaer)
19. Theer R 2 tipes av forkasts...lukky & rong
predikt
20. tu predikt wot sumwon will du, assume em will avoid wot em dont like
in the dumest wae possabel (Fred Nietzche)
21. Wall street predikted 9 av the past 5 resesshuns (Paul L Samelson)
1553. preech... (preach in krat speek)
1. preecher: theer R 739 sins.
man: get me a kopy av the list.
1554. pregnant... (pregnancy in krat speek)
1. a period is the start av lifelong sentens (Kathy Krimmins)
2. evree 10 sekonds a woman giv birth. Find her & stop her (Sam Levensun)
3. if pregnant was a book, em wood kut out the last 2 chapters (Nora Efron, 1983)
4. life is tuff nuff without sumwon kik yu from the inside (Rita Rudner)
5. yuno yer pregnant wen yu hav beer belly & dont drink
1555. prejudis (or prejudus) (prejudice in krat speek)
1. if yu judj em, yu kant luv em (Mother Teresa)
2. nowon is born a hater. Naecher dont du suiside (Harry Bridjes)
3. prejudis diskoler our thots (Mark Twain)
4. prejudis is in yer hed
5. prejudis is the chaen that keep us apart (Blessentun)
6. prejudis spring from ignorans (Will Hazelit)
1556. president...
1. I wood rather be rite than president (Henree Klae)
2. I'd rather be rite than president, but I'm redee for both (Norman Thomas)
3. The president kept all the promises he intented tu (Klinton aed)
4. Wot du retired presidents du?
take pills & dedakate librarees (Herbert Hoover)
1557. press...(the press=the media=nuz=nuzpapers)
1. a free press kan be good or bad (Albert Kamus)
2. diplomats & the press R enemees. The press thrive on publicity (David Nusom)
3. freedum av the press is a meens, not an end (Felix Frankfurter, 1950)
4. guvt need kritiks. A free press is a good kritik (Tom Jeffersun)
5. in old daes oppressers had the rak, now em hav the press (Oskar Wild, 1880)
6. liberty depend on freedum av the press (Tom Jeffersun)
7. soldyers giv us freedom av the press, not reporters
8. The funkshun av the press is tu make munee (A J Liebling, 1950)
9. The job av the press is tu promote debate, not tu suppli info (Chris Lash)
the press
10. The misshun av the press is tu spred kulcher (Karl Kraus, 1925)
11. The most portant funkshun av the press is tu teech us
dont trust the press (Sam Butler, 1660)
12. The power av the press is 2nd tu the folks (Alex DeTocuevil)
13. The press...truth suffer radikal distorshun (Walter lipman, 1960)
14. The press fokus tu much on how much yu spend, not on wot yu du (Donald Rumsfeld)
15. The press is a muving limelite (Walter Lipman, 1960)
16. The press is like the straenj unkel yu keep in the attik (G Gordon Liddy)
17. The press like its power tu destroy its favorit targets
18. The press shood be a kollektiv propragandist (V Lenin, 1917)
19. The purpus av the press is teech folks tu not trust wot em reed (Sam Butler)
the press
20. theers a plaes for the press, but em havent dug it yet (Tom Docherty, 1980)
21. yu apruev the free press wen it attakt sumwon els (Edgar Watsun, 1950)
1558. prettee...
1. prettee as a kalico kat
2. prettee as a nu wagon
3. prettee as a peech
4. prettee as a pikchuer
5. prettee as a spekkled pup under a red wagon
6. prettee is as prettee du
1559. prevent it is gooder than fixit (kyer it)
1560. pride...
1. a self-made man hu wership his maker [=self] (Will Kowper, 1760)
2. biggest problem is folks hu wanna be portant (T S Eliot, 1925)
3. I am so grate, I dont beg (Shakespeer, Richard 2)
4. I see his pride peep thru all av him (Shakespeer, Henree 8)
5. idel & pride tax heveeer than kings & guvts (Ben Franklin)
6. mi pride fell with mi forchun (Shakespeer, As yu like it)
7. pride beg as loud as it want & yuze hot tung tu (Ben Franklin)
8. pride deserv self (Karl Jung, 1920)
9. pride dont wanna oe, vane dont wanna pae
10. pride eet self. Pride is his glass,
trumpet, chronikel (Shakespeer, Troilus & Cressida)
11. pride eet up vanity & sup on kontempt (Ben Franklin)
12. pride go b4, ambishun follo (Shakespeer, Henree 6)
13. pride go b4 a fall=rash leed tu trubel(Joe Addisun, 1700)
14. pride kost more than hungree, thrist, & kold (Tom Jeffersun)
15. pride must fall & brake his nek (Shakespeer, Richard 2)
16. take pride in yer werk (Paul Keeting)
17. tu rise abuv pride, yu gotta hav pride (Jorj Bernavos, 1930)
18. wen siens find the senter av the yunivers,
many will be disapointed it is not em (Bernard Baelee)
1561. Prima domma=tempermental
1562. Primrose path=pleshuer, karefree, dally, shiftless (Shakespeer, Hamlet)
1563. Prinsapal...
1. Prinsapals are yuzeless, unless embodied in akshun
2. wen a prinsapal bekum konshus, it is tu kompensate for the lak av it (Jon Duee)
1564. Print...
1. wot big print giv, small print take awae
[beware av *...sumweer is tiny print, 2 small for yu tu see]
1565. problem...
problems with kids in skuel, in order
in 1950... 2005
1. talk 1. drugs & alkohol
2. chu gum 2. pregnant
3. run in hall 3. suiside
4. kut in line 4. rape
5. non guvt-approved kloes 5. robbers
6. thro paper on floor 6. assult
7. guns
problem
1. a man had problem with visiting kinfolk, so...
He borroed munee from the rich 1's & loned it tu the poor 1's
nun ever kum bak
2. anser tu life's problem not in a bottel...its on TV (homer Simpson)
3. be part av the kyuer, not part av the problem
4. biggest problem...ignorant R so shuer, smart folks hav douts
5. biggest problem is folks hu wanna be portant (T S Eliot, 1925)
6. dont weree bout yer math problems, mine R bigger (A Einstein)
7. eech sukses get yu tu the next problem (Henree Kissinger)
8. evree problem hav a gift inside (Richard Bach)
9. evree problem look like a nael if yer oenlee tool is a hammer
problem
10. evree solushun breed nu problems
11. finanshal problems set apart man from animal (Romaen Rollend, 1900)
12. get tu the ruet av the problem
13. Hamlet=tradegy from take on famlee problems tu suen aft kolleej (Tom Mason)
14. Hart av problem...man kant stand tu be alone in silent room
15. histree repeet, thats the problem (Klarens Darro, 1900)
16. if the oenlee tool yu hav is a hammer, yu treet evree problem like it is a nael
17. if theer was a tek solushun tu all problems, engineers wood get the girl.
18. if yer not part av the solushun, yer part av the problem
19. if yu dont hav charity in yer hart, yu hav hart problems (Bob Hope)
problem
20. if yu dont hav munee, the problem is food
if yu hav munee, the problem is sex
wen yu hav both, the problem is helth
if yu hav it all, yer still skared av deth (J P Donlevee)
21. if yu dont hav problems on the job, it is a hobby (Ronald Dun)
22. if yu dont thank politiks is a joke, yu R part av the problem (Jon J Chapman, 1890)
b. dont thank politiks is a joke? yu R part av the problem
23 if yu kan keep yer hed wen all em around yu luze theers,
yu dont understand the problem.
24. if yu kant fix it with dukt tape or oil, its a femael problem (Jasun Luv)
25. if yu sleep onit, many problems go awae wen yu awake (Jon Steinbek)
26. in yueth we run intu problems. In old aej, problem run over us (Beverlee Sils)
27. its not if yu hav a hard problem,
it if yu hav the same problem as last yeer (Jon Foster Dulles)
28. Kount yer blessings, not yer problems
29. more problems than Karter hav little liver pills
problem
30. Most av lifes problems kum from sae yes tu fast & no tu slo (Josh Billings)
31. most prefer old problem tu nu solushun
32. most problems oenlee be in our minds (Steev Allen)
33. much eezeeer tu suggest solushun wen yu dont no nuthun bout the problem
33. never sleep with a woman with more problems than yu (Nelsun Algren)
34. no problem is 2 big tu run awae from (Charles Shultz)
35. old hav nuff problems without adding vies (Kato, 150bc)
36. opportunitee kum as problems tu solv (Lee Iakoka)
37. optimist thank the thin haer on top is a temp problem
38. pesimist see problems with evree opportunity
39. positive attitude mae not solv yer problem
but it anoy nuff folks tu be werth it (Henree Albrite)
problem
40. problem=opportunitee + thorns (Hu Miller)
41. problem=pries av progres (Branch Rickee)
42. problem is not a stop sine, its a gidepost (Robert Schuler)
43. problem overkum=opportunity won (W Churchil)
44. problem with kids is yu gotta put up with the parents (Charles delint)
45. problem with nuthang tu du...dont no wen yer dun
46. problem with politikal joke...em get elekted (Henree Kate)
47. problem with the geen pool...no lifegards
48. problem with the yung jenerashun...we R not NE-more
49. problems werth attaking pruev theer werth bi fiting bak
problem
50. solve 1 problem & yu make 2 nu problems.
solushun...dont tri tu solv NE-more problems (Russel Baker)
51. The best angel tu approach a problem is the tri-angel
52. The oenlee problem munee kan solve is munee probs (Migno Mclaughlin, 1966)
53. The problem is how tu keep others from yuze-up yer leezyer time (Arthur Laesee)
54. the problem is not 2 many fools, its that litening is not spred out rite (Mark Twaen)
55. the problem is the dum klods R kokshuer & the rest R full av dout (Berstrand Russel)
b. problem is the dum R shuer, the smart wons full av dout
56. the problem with du-nuthang, yu dont no wen yer dun.
57. the problem with free time is others that yuze yer free time
58. theer is a quote for evree problem (Hendrik Loon)
59. tu solv problem, yu gotta thank smarter than persun hu made problem
(A Einstein)
problem
60. tu solv the traffik problem, make law so
oenlee paed-for kars get on the hiwae (Will Rodgers)
61. Wedding is happy. Living tugether is the problem (Raemond Hull)
1566. problem...exampels av yuneek "solushun" tu a problem
1. butt stuk...Jon Bloor mistake super glue
for hemorroid kreem & glu his butts tugether.
2. Englis traens hav problem with late traens, so the brass redefined
now it is "on skedyual" if < 1 hr late.
1567. prodigal son=waestful, debaucheree (luke)
story in bibel bout son berned thru forchun his father gave him
1568. professhunal...yu gotta pae him tudu wot an amacher du for fun
1569. program, programmer, programming
1. 2 waes tu rite errer-free programs. Wae 3 mite werk
2. 90% av the koding take 90% av the time
the other 10% take up the other 90% av the time (Tom Kargil)
3. add manpower tu late software projekt make it even more late (Fred Brooks)
4. beware av programmers hu karry skrudrivers (Leo Brandwein)
5. Grove giv, Gates take awae (Bob Metkalf)
him sae "software alwae overloed fastest hardware"
6. I prueved the program "korrekt" tu guvt speks
but be kareful, I never tested it.
7. old programers never die, em just luze theer memree
8. our software dont hav bugs (Bill Gates)
9. program...noun: a majik spell yu put on puter so it kan giv errer messaejes
verb: butt hed ginst wall without hope
10. programmer is master riter, but puter is louzee akter
11. programmers R riters but puter is bad akter
12. programmers tri tu make idiot-proof kode, but the idiots R wae ahed.
13. tri tu manage programmers is like tri tu herd kats
1570. progress...
1. all progress kum from nonpopular pinyun (Adli Stevensun)
2. dont diskeraej sumwon hu make progress, no mater how slo (Plato)
3. human progres is slo, take sensherees (Jorj Buchner)
4. maby progress was ok wons (Ogden Nash)
5. progres...yu pae 2 times as much tax as yu maed b4 tax 10 yeers ago (H L Menken)
6. progres=exchaenj 1 nuisans for anuther (henree H Ellis)
7. progres is based on lazee men looking for eezeeer wae tu duit (Robert Heimlein)
8. progres is based on the erj tu liv beyond yer meens (Sam Butler)
9. progres is slo. Yu gotta duit step bi step (Sam Smiles)
10. progres require inquiring mind & judjment (Cisero)
11. tertel make progress oenlee wen it stik out nek (James B Konant)
12. the tertel oenlee make progres wen it stik out its nek (James Konant)
13. wot yu kall progres is tu trade 1 nuesnas for dif won (Honelok Ellis)
14. yu replaes wot werk with wot sound good (Tom Sowell)
1571. prokrastinate... ("procrastinashun" in superkrat)
1. best time tu reed a book...wen yu hav chores tudu round the hous (Joe Rian)
2. I wanted tu prokrastinate, but never got around tuit
3. if not for the last minut, I'd never get NE-thang dun
4. if yu kan put it off til tumorro, yu kan put it off forever (Minon McLaughlin, 1960)
5. milyuns av waes tu luze a dae, nowae tu get it bak (Tom DeMarko)
6. most tiring is half dun job that never get dun (Will James)
7. never put off tu tumorro wot yukan put off til dae aft tumorro (Mark Twaen)
8. oenlee Robinsun Krusoe got werk dun bi Fridae
9. prokrastinate...tri tu keep up with yesterdae (Don Marquis)
prokrastinate
10. prokrastinate is the theef av time (Ed Yung)
11. prokrastinate kill oppertunity (Vikter Kiam)
12. prokrastinate now, b4 yu put it off
13. sumdae is not reel
14. thank onit 2 long, & yu never duit (Eva Yung)
15. the less yu hav tu du, the longer it take for yu tu find time tu duit (Chesterfeeld)
16. tri tu keep up with yesterdae (Don Marquis)
17. tu make eezee job hard, put it off forever (Olin Miller)
18. tumorro is the bizeeest dae (Spaen)
19. tumorro will be tudae tumorro
prokrastinate
20. won av thees daes is nun av thees daes
21. wot yu kan du NE-time, yu never du (Skot)
22. yukan du all the werk, provided its not wot yer spozed tu du (Rober Benchlee)
1572. promis...
1. half the promises folks sae was not kept was not made (Edgar W How)
2. promis is a prisun=resapee for miseree
3. promis is like a baby, eezee tu start, hard tu deliver
4. promis littel, du more
5. promises dont put butter on mi bred
6. tu promis tu not duit is the most shuer wae
tu make folks wanna duit (Mark Twaen)
1573. promote
1. not evree promoter is a krook, but evree krook is a promoter (Warren Buffet)
1574. prompt is its reward...liv bi the klok, not the sord
1575. proof is in the pudding (pruef in non-krat speek)
1576. property...
1. as soon as a man get property, him gotta lern math (Ralf W Emersun)
2. property is organized robbery (Jorj B Shaw)
3. The stuf yu oen, oen yu. Tu be free, yu gotta get rid av it (Chuck Palaniuk)
4. unskueled man mae steel from a rael kar
edukated man mae steel the raelroed (Theddy Rosevelt)
1577. pros & kons=arguments for & ginst an idea or plan
1578. prosperus or prosperitee... (prosperity in krat speek)
1. adversity bring out talents that dont sho wen yer prosperus (Horas)
2. at this rate, mam will luze all limbs sept a finger tu push buttons (Frank L Rite)
3. half the werld starv, other half die from 2 much fat (Malkolm Karruther)
4. its not hard times kummin, its soft times goin (Groucho Marx)
5. luxury korrupt. Rich bi hav it, poor bi want it (Rousso, 1762)
6. man eet 2 times wot nachuer require (ben Franklin)
7. man gotta go thru adversity b4 him kan appreeseeate prosperitee
8. man kan beer all thangs sept good times (Dutch)
9. man tri tu make heven on erth & get hell (Fiedrich Halderlin)
10. nun av us kan stand sumwon els's prosperitee
11. prosperitee leed tu vies, adversitee tu virchu (Fransis Bakon)
12. prosperus depend more on like wot yu have, not get wot yu want (Ralf W Emersun)
13. prosperus is naechers wae tu see how miserabel we kan make self (Don Marquis)
14. The basis for prosperitee...war, debt, planned obsoleet (Aldous Huxlee)
15. The wae thangs keep inprueving,
we will run out av humbel start for fyucher leeders tu point tu (Russel P Askue)
16. we hav a werld av kontented bodees & diskontent minds (Adam K Powel, 1967)
17. we kan take Ne-thang sept prosperitee (Goethe)
18. wen prosperitee kum, dont yuze up all av it (Konfusus)
1579. protektiv as a mother hen
1580. proud as a peekok
1581. proverb...
1. proverb=1 mans wit, all mens wisdum (JonRussel, 1830)
2. proverb=short sentens based on long speereens (Miguel Cervantes??,JonRussel???, 1850)
1582. provide ginst kold, hunger, thrist. All els is vane & xses (Seneka)
1583. prudent... (prudence in krat speek)
1. Chans faver the prudent (Joe Joubert, 1800)
2. no better kin than prudent & faethful freend (Ben Franklin)
3. prudent keep yu safe, not happy (Sam Jonsun)
4. prudent man dont make goet his gardener (Hungary)
5. prudent man forsee problems ahed & prep for em
simpel man go blind & suffer (Solomon)
6. prudent man overlook insult
7. prudent quesshun is half av wisdum (Fransis Bakon, 1600)
8. the prudent dont sho it wen em get mad (Burma)
9. wen yer a kid, be modest. yung: temperat,
adult:just, old:prudent (Socrates, 410 bc)
10. yung dont no nuff tu be prudent. Em tri the nonposabel & duit (Perl Buk)
1584. publik...
1. 2 sides tu evree quesshun. Tu hold publik offis, yu hafta be on both sides.
2. Histree in publik skuels dwell on
redikulus kings & paranoid politiks (Martin Gardner)
3. if yu kant make more in privat life, dont tri publik offis (Tom E Dueee)
4. its not publik pinyun, its published pinyun (W Churchil)
5. politiks...publik affaers for private gaen (Ambrose Beers, 1911)
6. publik hav unending appetite for all not werth noing (Oskar Wild)
7. publik is the oenlee kritik werth his pinyun (Mark Twain)
8. publik offisers R trustees av mankind (Grover Kleevland)
9. publik pinyun is week tirant. I thank for self. That is mi fate (Henree D Thoro)
10. publik pinyun pole is bad substitute for thank (Warren Buffet)
11. sane persun hide his reel pinyuns & pretend tu aksept publik pinyuns (Mark Twain)
12. submit tu publik pinyun oenlee tu stae outta jael
13. we hang small theefs & put big wons intu publik offis (Aesop)
14. wen yu assume a publik trust
[werk for guvt], yu bekum publik property (Tom Jeffersun)
1585. pull...
1. Pull on like an old sok
2. Pull strings=yuze yer influens
3. pull the wool over his ies=deseev, delude
4. pull up yer pants & go home (get off the pot & skeedadel)
5. pull yer chaen (jerk yer chaen)=teez
6. pull yer chestnuts from the fire=salvaej sumthang from a mess
7. pull yer leg=teez
8. pull yer wate=du yer share av the werk
1586. pun... [plae on werds]
1. a good pun is its rewerd
2. a man hu du puns will pik pokkets (Jon Dennis, 1781)
3. pun=loest form av humor (Doug Larson)
4. pun=short quip folloed bi long groen
5. with werds, skate on thin ies kan get yu intu hot water (Frank P Jones)
1587. puns... [zampels]
1. a nu exekushuner kant get the hang av it
2. baby seel walked intu a klub. Wot a tradjadee
3. bi land in Baton Ruege wont biyu NE-thang (biyu is all water)
4. biologist remuved vokal kords from frog so it kant kroke=will liv forever
5. blue ship ran intu red ship...now all R marooned
6. boy hu sed him want a goet was just kidding
7. butcher...I tried tu bet the butcher kant get meet off the top shelf.
but him sed "the stakes R 2 hi".
8. butcher bakked intu his meet grinder & got behind on his werk.
9. dejamu...I thank I herd this bull b4
puns
10. did Delaware her Nu Jersee? Dont no, I'l alaska.
11. did yu heer bout the nun that got expelled kauz av her dirty habits?
12. diet...du yu go the rong wae?
13. diet...matter av life & bredth [width]
14. Dollywood is being renovated...pleez pardon our dust
15. dr Jekyl...yu kan run but kant hyde
16. du the name Pavlov ring a bell?
17. duk 1 woodnt go in the water. duk 2 sed "R yu chicken?"
18. duk went intu bar, ordered beer, & sed "put it on mi bill"
19. Enerjizer bunny arrested...charjed with battery
puns
20. England dont hav kidnee bank, but du hav liverpool
21. famlees R like fudj...sum sweet, sum nuts
22. favorit allergy...bloin in the wind bi Peter pollen Mary
23. froidian slip ...sae 1 thang but meen yer mother
24. garbage man is down in the dumps tudae
25. get transfushun in Taiwon, yu get tiepae blood
26. good pun is its oen rewerd
27. guvt sae 40% av us R overwate...but thats just round numbers
b. dokters sae 7,000,000 R overwate...but thats just round numbers
28. hangmen keep theer kustomers in the loop
29. hangover...the wrath av grapes
puns
30. herd bout the lawyer's werd prosesser? it oenlee du fine print.
31. hungree math teech oenlee hav pi tu eet [3.14159265358979323846]
32. I asked mom if I was gifted. She sed she wood not hav paed for me.
33. I get nuff xersize bi push mi luk
34. I looked for gold, but it didnt pan out
35. I tried tu be a historian, but theers no fyucher init
36. I tried tu be a taeler, but it didnt suit me
37. I tried tu bi kamo pants, but koodnt find em
38. I tried tu werk as lumberjak, koodnt hak it, so em gave me the ax
39. I tried tu werk for H&R blok, but it was 2 taxing
puns
40. I wanted tu be a deli werker, but koodnt kut the mustard
41. I wanted tu be a dokter, but didnt hav the paeshens
42. I wanted tu be a muzikan, but was not note-werthy
43. I was a baeker, but didnt make nuff doe
44. I was a banker, til I lost interest
45. I was a dokter, but lost paeshens
46. I was a karpenter, but got bored
47. I was a "sanatashun enjineer" til I got dumped
48. I was a taxi driver but koodnt hak it
49. I was a teecher, but didnt hav nuff klas
puns
50. I was a traen driver til I got sidetrakked
51. I was awake til it dawned on me
52. I went tu a seefood disko & pulled a mussel
53. I werked for budwizer, but got kanned
54. I werked at the orange juis faktree til I got kanned kauz I koodnt konsentrate
55. I werked in a blanket faktree, but it folded
56. I werked in a shue faktree but didnt fit in
57. if Barbee is so popular, wi du yu hafta bi her freends?
58. if we didnt hav Veneshun blinds, it wood be kertins for evreewon
59. if yu want a kommitted man, look in the madhous ("insane sanatorium" in krat speek)
puns
60. I'm on a seefood diet...wen I see food, I eet it
61. isnt the Grand Kanyon gorjus?
62. Jak & Jil is the best nursree rime...others pael in komparasun
63. kar stopped with a jerk, then the jerk got out
64. kommunist plot...weer em burried Stalin
65. konstipated komposer...koodnt du the last muvement
66. kordaroy pillo make hedlines
67. krooks exkape noos...hung jury
68. lawyer sleep...lie on 1 side, lie on the other, ....
69. lawyer word prossesser...oenlee du fine print
puns
70. maeraej is the morning after the not b4 (tie the "knot")
71. magikan walked down the street & terned intu a drugstore
72. man in hospital after akseedent: "help, I kant feel mi legs"
Dokter "av koers not, I kut off yer arms"
73. man need mistres tu brake the monogamy
74. man walk intu bar with alligater under arm & ask "du yu serv tax kollekters?"
"shuer"
"ok I'll hav a beer & 1 tax kollekter for the alligater"
75. man went intu bar with jumper kabels. Bartender sed...dont start NE-thang.
76. man's hous is his kastel, in a manner av speek
77. meeting...weer yu take minuts & waest hrs
78. mi wife had plastik serjeree...kut up her kredit kards
79. mirakel...blind karpenter pikked up his hammer & saw
puns
80. most rules-av-thum suk
81. must yu spend so much on food? Sorry deer, the kids wont eet NE-thang els
82. muzikan robbed bank & make off with the lute
83. nonseeabel man wed nonseeabel woman...kids not much tu look at eether
84. optometrist fell intu lens grinder & make a spektabel av self
85. overwate...no wae tu liv
86. passenger asked pilot "how hi du yu fli?" pilot: I dont du drugs
87. penguin ask barman "seed mi brother in heer?"
dont no, wot du him look like?
88. poor mathamatishun kant kount on his freends
89. preest...wite kollar werker
nun kreechuer av habit
puns
90. preest, rabbi, & vikkar walk intu a bar. Barman sed "is this a joke?"
91. ruemer is like yuzed kar...tu see it go, yu first gotta start it
92. Shakespeer go intu a bar
barman sae "kant serv yu, yer bard"
93. sikiatrist...Man walk intu sikiatrist offis rapped in saran rap
Si sed "I see, yer nuts"
94. sinderella was throed off basketball teem...kept running awae from ball
95. termite go intu bar and ask "is the bar tender heer?"
96. the string went tu the dans & had a ball
97. traener quit the job kauz it didnt werk out
98. trumpeter blu it wen him audishuned for the band
99. upset kanibal throed up his hands
puns
100. we dont run outta math teechers kauz em multipli
101. we study gravity kauz it is attraktiv
102. wen yu kiss flower, tu-lips R gooder than 1
103. wi is theer no mental sik in the desert? oenlee no-mads liv theer.
104. wich president is leest giltee? Linkoln...he's in-a-sent
105. without geometry, life is pointless
106. woman date man with wood leg. Her wanna no if her shood brake it off
107. wotz the dif tween 1 yard & 2 yards? 1 fens
108. wotz the purpus av raendeer? make the grass gro.
109. xersize...I get mine bi push mi luk
puns
110. yer aunt plae krokae, dont kall her a happy hooker
111. yu kant trust a tiger, he mite be lion
112. yu need a mistres tu brake the monogamee
1588. pure...
1. pure as an angel
2. pure as mothers milk
3. pure as the driven sno
4. was as pure as sno, but drifted
1589. puritan
1. puritan=impuls tu punish NE-1 happeeer than yu (H L Menken)
b. =sumwon hu feer that sumwon, sumweer, sumtime mite hav fun
c. puritan=the haunting feer sumweer sumwon hav fun
2. Puritan idea av hell...evreewon mind his biz (Wendel Filips)
3. Puritan tri tu make us du as em thank (H L Menchen)
1590. purpus... (purpose in krat speek)
1. dont no wi (Jon Cage)
2. evreethang hav a purpus. Yers is tu serv as bad zampel
3. folks & stars R made av the same stuf (Bill Nye)
4. grate wons hav purpus, others wish (Washington Irving)
5. if yu dontno wich harber tu hed for, no wind is good (Seneka)
6. life is a serch for truth. Theer is no truth (Chineez)
7. life is less boring than ded (Alis Walker)
8. the purpus av life is not tu be happy (Leo Rosten)
9. the quesshun is komplex & life is short (Protagoras)
10. theer is no purpus tu life, less yu invent it (Kurt Vonnegut)
11. yer purpus in life mae be tu be a warning tu others
12. yu need tuno hu tu fite (Fred Nietzsche)
13. yuzeless life=die erlee (Jon W vonGoeth)
1591. push the envelope=test the limits (1945)
1592. pussyfoot around=timid, evade, sneek (like a kat)
1593. put...
1. put 2 & 2 tugether=look at the fakts & draw reesunabel konklude
2. put a sok init (stifel, shutup, be quiet)
3. put braen in geer b4 open mouth
4. put in yer 2 sents werth=talk, gab
5. put it off 1 dae & 10 go bi (Korea)
6. put it off oenlee if yukan die with it undun (Pablo Picasso)
7. put it on the bak berner=delae, postpone, put off
8. put NE stok init
9. put on yer thanking kap=thank
10. put stok in it=hav merit
11. put the kart b4 the hoers=duit bakward, rong
12. put the skru tu=foers, pressure, torcher
13. put thru the mill=suffer
14. put up yer dukes=get redee tu fite
15. put yer feet in the rite plaes, then stand firm (Abe Linkoln)
16. put yer foot init=blunder, get in trubel (Will Tindale, 1528)
17. put yer fyucher in good hands, yers
18. put yer hed down & plow ahed (Les Brown)
19. put yer mouth weer yer munee is
20. put yer munee weer yer mouth is=kommit tuit bi put up munee
put-down...insult
1594. puter... (computer, komputer)
1. 3 deths...hart ded, braen ded, puter ded
2. bak up hard drive? How du me put it in revers?
3. best wae tu boot puter? with yer foot (J H Goldfus)
4. dokumentashun must be good kauz programmers hate it so much
5. dont yuze hammer (IBM, maentaen manyual, 1925)
6. em hav puters & em hav other wepons av mass destrukshun (Janet Reno)
7. first puter protokol...Moses aborted Egypt armee with kontrol-see (Tom Gallowae)
8. folks dont hate puter, em hate the louzee programmers (Larry Niven)
9. Garbaej in, garbaej out
puter
10. good memree, poor imajinaeshun
11. Grove giv, Gates take awae (Bob Metkalf)
him sae "software alwae overloed fastest hardware"
12. hardware...the part av puter yu kan hit with a hammer
b part av puter yu kan hit & kik (Jeff Pesis)
13. hardware...yukan hit it with a hammer
the part av puter yu kik [different pinyun]
software...yukan oenlee kers at hid devils
14. hu iz "jenral faelyer" & wi du him reed mi disk?...komment on weerd puter messaejes
15. I dont hav a persunal relashunship with puter (Janet Reno)
16. I wished for a puter as eezee tu yuze as a fone,
now me kant figger out the fone (Bjarn Stronstrup)
17. if at first it dont werk, reboot
18. if it draw blood, its hardware
19. if puter get tu powerful, put it on a kommittee, thatll duit in
puter
20. if software was like ekonomik theeree, all aerplanes wood be paper (Jim Fauset)
21. if yu dont hav a dog, tell em puter ate yer homewerk
22. if yu kant beet puter at chess, tri a sledjhammer
23. imajin if yer shues exploded evree Thursdae
This is wot puters du & evreewon thank it normal (Jeff Raskin)
24. Jesus save. Evreewon els...save a bakup kopee
25. manual sae tu insert disk 3, but me oenlee hav 2 drives
26. multitask...skru up evreethang at the same time
27. NE nitwit kan understand puter & many du (Ted Nelsun)
28. never trust a puter 2 small tu find
29. never trust a puter yu kant thro out the windo (Steev Wozniak)
puter
30. oenlee good wae th boot puter...with yer boot
31. pixel: mischeeveeus majik spirit hu du skreeen displaes (Jeff Mier)
32. program...noun: a majik spell yu put on puter so it kan giv errer messaejes
verb: butt hed ginst wall without hope
33. programmer is master riter, but puter is louzee akter
34. puter=1 milyun morons that werk at lite speed (David Ferrier)
35. puter dont feel paen (dont werk 2 hard tu tri tu optimize software)
36. puter exekute solushuns (Laurent Gasser)
37. puter hav memree, but no majinaeshun
38. puter is a actuary with a hart (inshuer joke)
39. puter iz a louzee akter
puter
40. puter iz a moron (peter Druker)
41. puter iz dum but du smart thangs.
Programmer du dum thangs. Perfekt match (Bill Brisun)
42. puter iz fast, akkurat, & dum (Will Kellee)
43. puter iz like bikinee...kut down on the ges-werk (Sam Ewing)
44. puter iz like old testament god...lotta rules & no mersee (Joe Kampbel)
45. puter iz not smart, it oenlee thank it is
46. puter iz yuzeless, it oenlee giv ansers (Picasso, 1970)
47. puter kan figger out lots av thangs, but not thangs that dont add up (James Magary)
48. puter kan make a mistake in a mikrosek that wood take mortal man a yeer tu equal
49. puter provide the meens tu make more mistakes than NE other invenshun
puter
50. puter revolushun=exploshun av nonsens (Neel Postman)
51. puter virus...we made life in our image...destruktiv (Steev Hawkings)
52. puter will never replaes old-fashuned human dumness
53. rite 90% av the kode take 90% av the time
the rest take 90% av the time
the last tuches take 90% av the time
debugging take 90% av the time
fix the beta vershun take 90% av the time
add yuzer demands take 90% av the time
the rest is eezee
54. sum yuze internet as substitute for reel life (andru Brown)
55. the werld is kumming tu an end, pleez log off so puter kan shut down graesfully
56. trubel with trubelshuet...trubel shuet bak
57. tu err is human, tu foul up big time, yuze puter
58. more human tu blame puter (Robert Orben)
59. wanna make puter go reel fast? thro it out the windo.
puter
60. wi shoodnt puter werk like the fridj? (Walter Mossberg)
61. with puter, yu make more mistakes faster (Mitch Ratlif)
62. yer not a dummee. Teknikal xperts behind puter R the dummees (Walter Mossberg)
63. yu rite 90% av the kode in 90% av the time, next 10% take 90% av time
kleen it up take 90%, find bugs take 90%, add inhansments take 90%,...
64. YKMPIA...yu kant memrize puter industree akkronims
65. yu kant swat a fli with a puter
66. yuzer=puter werd for idiot (Dave Barry)
1595. puter siens (computer sciens in krat speek)
1. best programming book for the laeman..."Alice in Wunderland"
2. beware av programmers with skrudriver (Leo Brandwein)
oenlee thang more skaree is yuzer with kutters (Liz Zwikky)
3. eezeer tu fit speks tu the program than the other wae round
4. elefant=mous+operate system
5. folks hu kan thank or yuze logik
is a nies kontrast tu the reel werld (Matt Biershbach)
6. nowon understand wot we du. We get praez or kontempt (Fred Nietzche)
7. optimism is programmer's okkupashun hazard. Yuzer feedbak kyuer it.
8. programmer's 4 basik food grueps...kafeen, shugar, grees, salt (Jon Walker)
9. programming is raes tween programmers hu tri tu make it idiot-proof
and the yunivers that make better idiots. So far the idiots win (Rich Kook)
[part av reesun is the idiotik programmers]
10. puters R fast & smart. programmers R sloe
and inkredabel-dum...perfekt match (Bil Brisun)
11. the goel av puter siens is tu bild sumthang that last long nuff tu start debugging it
12. we R puter professhunals...we kauz akseedents (Nat Borenstein)
13. with nuff data, yu kan yuze stats tu pruev NE-thang
1596. pyrhik viktree=win at very hi kost
King Pyrhus of Grees fite Romans, 280 bc. Won battels but lost war.
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