1605. Radikal...
1. left wing thot plae with fire & dont no fire is hot (Jorj Orwel, 1940)
2. radikal meen "grab it at the base" (Angela Y Davis)
1606. Raelroed (railrode in krat speek)
1. raelroed stashun?...thats like aerport but dont need
tu drive 30 min tu get theer (Russel Baker)
1607. Raen...
1. best raen is kozee raen,
wen yu wanna stae in bed or reed book bi fire (Susan A Toth)
2. many a man kers the raen on his hed even tho it feed the feelds (St Basil)
3. mix raen & sun and yu get...raenbo
4. Raen kats & dogs=majer flood & maby karry boddees (1653)
5. Raen kut rok & chissel mountains (Henree W Beecher)
6. Raenee daes make yu appreesheate sunny daes (Neel Kolton)
7. timing is the essens av a raen dans
8. wen it raen, evreewon get wet
1608. Raenbo...
1. if yu want a raenbo, yu gotta put up with the raen (Steev Rite)
2. it take sun & raen tu make raenbo
1609. Raes... (race in krat speek)
1. if yu win the rat raes, yer still a rat
1610. Rak...
1. Rak & ruin=destroy
2. Rak av bones
3. Rak mi braen=thank hard
1611. ran like a skalded dog
1612. random numbers R 2 portant tu be left tu chans
1613. rank...
1. man without klothes luze his rank (Henree D Thoro,1850)
2. Rank and file=the men, all av us (sept offisers)
3. rank & riches R chaens av gold (Giovani Ruffini)
4. vane bout yer rank=yer belo it (Leszcznski Stanislaus, 1710)
1614 rase... (raise in krat speek)
1. rase his hakkles
2. Rase kane
1615. Rat...
1. I dont no if I'm sloer or the rats faster (Robert Orben)
2. I thank I'll op outa the rat raes & bi more av Utah (Robert Redford)
3. life is a rat raes & the rats R wae ahed
4. Rat raes=werk, tri tu make a living (like on a tredmill) (1939)
5. Rats leev sinking ship=desert, run awae (Pliny, 50ad)(Shakespeer, the Tempest)
6. The problem with the rat raes is if yu win, yer a rat (Lily Tomlin)
7. Wen em ask for raes on a quesshun form, me alwaes sae rat
1616. Rather gotu bed hungree than borro munee for food (Ben Franklin)
1617. Razer
1. Hanlons razer: if dum splaen it, dont look for malies
1617. Reakshun...(reaktionarees in krat speek)
1. reakshunaree=bakward sunavabitch (FDR, 1933)
2. reakshunaree=man hu faes fyucher bi walk bakward
1618. Realitee...(reel) ("reality" in superkrat)
1. a man hu kall a spade a spade shood be foersed tu yuze it (Oskar Wild, 1890)
2. dont adjust yer mind, the fault is the reel werld
3. folks see the werld as em R, not as it be (Al Lee)
4. get reel
5. how many taels du a dog hav if yu kall the tael a leg?
Just kauz yu kall it a leg dont make it so (Abe Linkoln)
6. how reluktant the mind is tu aksept the reel (Norman Douglas)
7. I hav a firm grasp on realitee. I kan strangel it NE-time
8. I prefer honest reel tu the lies in books (Jeen Rostand, 1940)
9. if yu dont beleev this lie, ask the blind man; him seed it 2.
realitee
10. if yu stop beleeving, it dont go awae (Filip K Dik)
11. in tudaes artifishal werld, fat chaens tu meet reel (Serj Danee, 1980)
12. is sumthang yu rise abuv (Liza Minnelli)
13. man kant take much realitee (T S Eliot)
14. mi reality chek bounsed
15. me dont dare quesshun reality (Walt Witman, 1860)
16. realitee bite & dont let go
17. realitee is an illushun, but veree persistant (A. Einstein)
18. realitee is for em hu lak imajinashun
19. realitee is not likely (Jorj Borges)
realitee
20. realitee is the kollektiv hunch (Lily Tomlin)
21. realitee is wot folks agree tu pretend tu be (Lueez Nevelson)
22. reality is (Arbee M Dale)
23. reality is the hiest authority (Peter Zarlenga)
24. reel=goels - doubts (Ralf Marston)
25. reel=wot we thank is true (Gary Zukov)
26. reel is hard & tuff (Simon Weil, 1940)
27. reel is not wot otta be (Huston Smith)
28. reelism=unkuver surprises habit hide (Jeen Kosto, 1950)
29. the shado is wot we thank, the tree is reel (Abe Linkoln)
realitee
30. tri tu kloes the door on reel & it kum in thru the windoes
31. truth dont bekum rong if nowon see it (Gandi)
32. truth is stranjer than fikshun
33. tu hell with reality (Luis Celine, 1930)
34. wen I kloes the door on realitee, it kum in thru the windo
35. wen yu heer 2 witnesses deskribe 1 akseedent, yu werree bout histree
36. wishes R not reel (Robert J Ringer)
37. wot will be, will be
38. yesterdaes reel is tudaes illushun (Luigi Pirandello, 1900)
39. yu dont need tu invent fikshun, its all round yu (J G Ballard)
1619. rebel...
1. a littel rebelyun now & then is good (Tom Jeffersun, 1780)
2. a populus [folks, kommon man] rebel wen it
run outta paeshens with suffering (Edmund Burk, 1760)
3. dont violate rules til yuno how tu du em (T S Eliot, 1920)
4. insurrekshun=faeled revolushun=fael tu replaes
bad guvt with misrule (Ambrose Beers, 1880)
5. rebel=man hu sae no (Albert Kamus, 1940)
6. revolt is a thang av the stomak, insurrekshun is av the spirit (Vikter Hugo, 1840)
7. riot=lingo av the nonherd (MLK)
8. the rebel kan never find pees (Albert Kamus, 1940)
1620. rebuke shood hav more salt than shugar
1621. recycle is the enamee av archaeology
1622. red...
1. red as a beet
2. red herring=divert attenshun with flamboyent splash
3. red letter dae=vakashun, holidae, selebrate, party, speshal
started with Church kalandars yuzed red tu sho feest daes & saent daes
4. red rover, red rover
wont yu kum over
5. red ski at nite, shepard delite. Red ski in morning, saeler take heed
6. red tape=burokratik komplikashuns & delaes, paperwerk & deside take forever.
started in England, popularized around 1900 bi Tom Karliel.
based on the guvt bind bundels av papers with kolered tape.
1623. rednek...yu mae be a rednek if
1. a tree fell on the roof & yu desided its better that wae
2. ammo in yer Kristmas sok
3. bath...yu yuze dog's flee & tik soep as standard praktis
4. biggest sitee yu ever went tu...Walmart
5. dating servis match yu with yer aunt Mae
6. dont hav a pot tu pee in or a windo tu thro it out
7. evree deer-krossing sine neerbi is full av bullet holes
8. evreewon in yer famlee displae bukshot skars
9. grandma's kristmas wish list inklude ammo
10. hous dont hav kertins, but the pikup du
10. in the Kristmas plae, 2 av the wise men smoked & 1 set fire tu the maenjer
11. kar gas kap is a rag
12. lifetime goel...hav yer oen firewerks stand
13. nabers thank yer a detektiv kauz the kops bring yu home evree nite
14. pawn shop send yu Kristmas kard
15. salvashun army thro awae evreethang yu giv em
16. sumwon sae yu hav sumthang stuk in yer teeth, so yu take em out tu look
17. the boet in the yard has ben propped up so long, the stump rotted awae
18. the bug zapper is yer favorit toy
19. the quilt on yer bed sae "propertee av U-hall"
20. the storm that went thru last week imprueved yer property value
21. tuerists mistake yer front yard for a junk yard
22. wen sumwon sae "Big Eezee", yu thank him meen his girlfreend
23. wen yu thro beer kans outta the windo, wife shuet at it
24. yer famlee tree dont hav NE forks
25. yer first born was konseeved in a kr wash
26. yer good deed last month was hide yer brother for a fyu daes
27. yer hous hav more miles onit than the kar (truk)
28. yer kids take roed-kill tu sho-&-tell at skuel
29. yer kids take sifun hose tu sho-&-tell at skuel
30. yer mamma beetup the prinsapal at skuel
31. yer nite lite is a neon beer sine
32. yer salad bowls sae "kool wip" on the side
33. yer sumtimes-werking TV sit on top av the old 1
34. yer tabel is former fone kabel spool
35. yer wife klimb the tree faster than the kat
36. yer wife made yu a rakkuen koet
37. yu & yer dog yuze the same tree
38. yu ben wed 3 times & still hav same inlaws
39. yu bied lawnjerrae at a flee market
40. yu dump ashes from kornkob pipe on the karpet
41. yu entertain self for ours with 1 fli swatter
42. yu gift wrapped a tire (yuzed)
43. yu had a lawsuit over kustadee av a kuen dog
44. yu had tu takeout the toothpik for the wedding pikchers
45. yu hammer bottel kaps ontu front door tu make it look spiffy
46. yu hav 5+ McDonald bags on floor av kar
47. yu hav a home with weels onit & several kars without weels (Jeff Foxwerthy)
48. yu hav a wasp nest in the parlor
49. yu hav personalized lisens plate...yer father made it
50. yu hav several kinfolk named after South Sivil War jenrals
51. yu kant eet in town kauz the "no-shirt, no-shues, no eet" rule
52. yu keep a kan av bug-killer on the kitchen tabel (or kounter)
53. yu kum bak from the dump with more than yu started with
54. yu met yer wife at a yard sale (or flee market)
55. yu missed graduashun from grade 5 kaus av the hung juree
56. yu no exaktlee how many bales av hae yukan get intu yer kar (or truk)
57. yu offer the shirt off yer bak & him refuze tu take it
58. yu passed a funeral parade & gave motosiekel kop the finger
59. yu prefer fish tu sex
60. yu serv turkee on a platter with pikchur av Dale Ernhart
61. yu sit on roof on Kristmas eve & hope tu bag a deer
62. yu step on porch, fall thru hole, land on dog, kar hit dog
63. yu take chaenj from the kollekt plate [at cherch] (Jeff Foxwerthy)
64. yu tri tu bern the yard tu avoid moe the gras
65. yu thank a quarter hoers is the kiddee-ride thang in front av walmart
66. yu thank dual aerbags is yer wife & the mother-in-law
67. yu thank fast food meen hit the deer duing 60-70 mph
68. yu thank genitalia is Italian aerline
69. yu thank heven is a branch av Hooters
70. yu thank OJ trial was tween sunkist & minutmaed
71. yu thank stok market hav a fens around it
72. yu thank "stok tip" is advise on how tu werm pigs
73. yu thank subdivision is a math problem
74. yu thank Taco Bell is the Mex fone kumpanee
75. yu totaled evree kar yu drived
76. yu walk yer kid tu skuel & both av yu R in the same grade
77. yu was arrested as a helth hazard
78. yu was throed outta the zu for anoi the munkees
79. yu yuze a weedeeter in the living room
80. yu yuze broke toilet seet as pikcher frame
81. yu yuze the ironing bord as a snak kounter
1624. rednek jokes...
1. bizee-er than a kat tri tu kuver krap on marbel floor
2. butter mi butt & kall me bisquit
3. good-o-boys thro emptee beer kans in the bak av the truk
redneks thro em outta the windo (Billy Karter)
4. hav a kup av kaffee...alredee sawsered & bloed
5. he fell outta the ugly tree [tree that make yu ugly] & hit evree branch on the wae
6. hes as kuntree as kornflakes
7. hiwae patrol pull over rednek & ask "got id?" Rednek: "bout wot?"
["id"...shortened "idea"]
8. how du yuno if rednek dont weer underweer? dandruf on his shues
9. Ida-Mae got sik, so Bubba kalled 911.
911 asked "weer du yu liv"
end av Sikamore lane
kan yu spell that for me?
how bout I rope her tu the end av the truk & drag her tu oak street?
11. rednek died & left the estate in trust for his wife (wido)
She kant tuch it til she's 14.
12. rednek virgin...kan run faster than her brothers
13. shees so stuk-up, shell drown if it raen
14. this is gooder 'n grits [gooder than]
15. wot du yu kall 28 redneks in 1 room...full set av teeth
1625. rednek tips...
1. at 4-wae stop, kar with biggest tires hav the rite-av-wae
2. bath tip...never skip the March (start av spring) bath
3. bumbel bee is faster than yer riding moer
4. Date tip...if its the first date, offer tu help her baet her hook
b Wen yu ask her out, ask parents wen tu hav her bak.
If em sae "mondae", get bak in time for her tu gotu skuel
5. dim yer kar lites at nite wen kar kum, even if yu hav the deer in yer rifel sites
6. dont lae rubber or spit gravel in a funeral parade
7. Etiquit...if the baby kri, take it tu the lobby.
Be shuer tu pik up baby wen yu leev
8. evree path hav mud
9. forgiv yer foes...it will blo out theer braen
10. life is eezee-er if yu plow around the stumps
10. Muvee ...dont talk tu the akters on the skreen, em will ignore yu
10. never korner a kritter meener than yu
10. never sell yer mule tu bi a plow
10. never toe a kar with panty-hose & duk tape
10. On a job intervyu, leev the open beer kan in the truk
10. senterpees for kitchen table shood not kum from taxidermist
10. small persun karry biggest grudj
11. wedding...dont kiss bride more than 5 sekonds...danjer av bukshot in butt
b dont giv yer pet pig as wedding present
c its speshal, du weer shues AND soks
12. wen dog eet at table, dont giv him HIS chaer
13. wen yu gotu cherch, leev the drink kueler in the truk
14. wen yu kleen yer eers with the kar kees, pleez duit outside or in the kar
15. wen yu run outta gas & send wife walk tu store with gas kan,
dont spekt her tu bring beer 2
16. wen yu shuet sumwon in the front yard, first chek if its kin
17. wen yu vakyuem the bed, first remuve sheets (if yu hav em)
1626. reech...
1. man's reesh shood xseed his grasp. Thats wot heven is for. (Robert Browning)
1627. reed...
1. I reeded yer book & much like it (Moses Hadas)
["much like it"...reeded manee as bad as it]
2. reed much, but not many books (Ben Franklin)
3. reed sumthang intu it
4. reed the riot akt=bawl out
"riot akt"=1715 English law.
the law sae the kops gotta reed spesifik werds b4 arrest sumwon.
5. reed tween the lines=find meening not stated
6. Thanks for send me yer book. I will waest no time reeding it (Moses H.)
[I wont waest NE time=I wont reed it]
1628. Reekord oenlee the sunny ours
see also...realitee
1629. reel...
1. reel McKoy=reel=oppasit tu pen-name
soers...restler Norman Selby invented staej name="kid McKoy", 1890
2. reel werld...NE-plaes outside the Yuniversity
3. reel yuzers dont no wot em want, but no the program dont duit
4. reel yuzers hate reel programers & vise versa
5. reel yuzers never yuze the help kee
1630. Reesun... (reason in krat speek)
1. 2 reesuns...good reesun & reel reesun (Tom Karliel, 1830)
2. bigot wont reesun, fool kant, & a slave dont dare (Will Drummond, 1615)
3. dont tare down a fens til yuno wi it was put up (Robert Frost, 1900)
4. evreewon hav his reesuns (Jeen Renoir)
5. God gave us sens, reesun & smarts.
I dont beleev him intended us tu ignore em (Galileo)
6. if the wi is strong nuff, yu kan take NE how (Fred Nietzche, 1880)
7. if yu follo reesun, it leed tu results not reesunabel (Sam Butler, 1650)
8. let reesun rule wants (Cicero, 60 bc)
9. life make more sens than reesun (St Aquinos, 1250)
reesun
10. madman luze all sept reesun (Gilbert K Chesterton, 1900)
11. most humans R not interested in reesun (Aldous Huxlee)
12. man kan reesun, but is never reesunabel (Alex Hamilton, 1790)
13. nobel hart giv in tu reesun (Jon Fred Von Shiller, 1790)
14. reesun is a krutch for old folks (Jon Driden, 1660)
15. reesun is a lite rider, eezee tu nok off (Jon Swift, 1700)
16. reesun is a shameless wore (E M Kioran, 1950)
17. reesun is the biggest enemee av faeth (Martin Luther, 1520)
18. reesun is the hiest gift av the gods (Sofokeles, 450 bc)
19. reesun rebel ginst faeth & passhun rebel ginst reesun (Tom Brown, 1640)
reesun
20. reesun shood direkt & erj shood obae (Cicero, 60bc)
21. reesun will never be popular (Jon W Goeth, 1780)
22. strong reesun make strong akshun (Shakespeer)
23. the reesun the human raes will never acheev its potenshal...meetings
24. we like wot we like & make up reesuns wi (Soren Petersun)
25. wot is now reesun was instinkt (Ovid, 0ad)
26. yu kan reesun on fakts, not possabels (Henree Bolingbroke, 1720)
27. yu kant reesun with a maniak (James Froud, 1860)
28. yu kant reesun with predjudus (Sidnee Smith, 1800)
1631. reform...
1. evree reform will gotu xses, & thus need reforming (Sam T Koleridj, 1810)
2. fix a lot, but not tu much (Eugeen Delakroix, 1830)
3. I am better than em hu tri tu reform me (Ed W How, 1890)
4. in England it take bout 100 yeers tu start
tu tri tu take step 1 tuward reform (H G Wells, 1900)
5. most in need av reform...others habits (Mark Twain)
6. most skeems tu impruev politiks R laffabel (Sam Jonsun, 1745)
7. reform is hard werk (Tom Karliel, 1830)
8. reform self b4 tri tu chaenj naber (norman Douglas, 1900)
9. reform self is step 1 tuward reform werld (Tom Karliel, 1830)
10. reformer ride thru sewer in glas bottom boet (Jim Walker)
11. reformer set forth cheerful tu shuer defeet (Lidia M Child, 1840)
12. save 1 man at a time=step 1 tu save the werld (Charles B Kowski, 1960)
13. the first reform is the most danjerus step for a guvt (Alex DeTokquevil, 1840)
1632. regret...
1. 2 saddest werds..."if oenlee" (Mersaedees Lakkee)
2. ben maereeed 38 yrs & dont regret 1 dae av it.
that 1 dae is 8 July 1992.
3. disaplin is 1 owns, regret=1 ton (Jim Ron)
4. dont burden memree with wot was (Shakespeer)
5. dont feer the fyucher, dont kri over the past (Persee B Shellee)
6. dont regret & never look bak (Kat Mansfeeld, 1920)
7. dont regret wen yu get old, many dont hav that privleej
8. dont regret wot mite hav ben (Richard M Stern)
9. dont regret wot yu du, regret wen yu get katched
regret
10. dont smother sorro, cherish it, regret til yu liv nu (Henree D Thoro, 1860)
11. duit or dont duit. Yu will regret both (Kierkegard)
12. folks du wot is eezee, then repent (Bob Dilan)
13. follees man regret most=wons he didnt du wen he had the chans (Helen Roeland)
14. hindsite is 20-20 (Bill Wilder)
15. histree is 1 long regret (Charles D Warner)
16. I oenlee regret wot I didnt du
17. I oft regret wot I sae, never mi silens. (Zenokrates)
18. I regret I oenlee hav 1 life tu giv for mi kuntree (Nathan Hale, 1776)
19. I regret Im not sumwon els (Woody Allen)
regret
20. if yu dont regret the dum thangs yu did, yer dum (Katherine Hepbern)
21. if yu du tunite wot yu will regret tumorro, sleep late (Henree Yungman)
22. if yu speek wen mad, yu will make the best speech
yu will ever regret (Laurens Peter)
23. its the thangs I mite hav sed (Klemens Dane, 1920)
24. make the most av yer regrets (Henree D Thoro)
25. most bitter teers R for werds not sed & deeds not dun (Harriet Beecher Stoe, 1880)
26. never regret. If good, its wunderful. If bad, its speereeens (Viktoria Holt)
27. nite bring tu lite the regrets av the dae (Grae Livingston)
28. oenlee thang yu dont regret is yer mistakes (Oskar Wild)
b. yu never regret yer mistakes (Oskar Wild)
29. prokrastanate tudae=regret tumorro (Ida S Taeler)
regret
30. regret is insite 1 dae late
31. regret is mental suiside
32. regrets kum 2 late
33. regrets kum with grae haer (Charles Dikkens, 1860)
34. remoers...the aeg pleshuer laed (Will Kowper, 1770)
35. remoers is long-delaed regret (H L Menchen, 1920)
36. thank av now, not regret the past
or antisapate the fyucher (Oliver Goldsmith, 1760)
37. the saddest werd av tung or pen is "it mite hav ben" (Jon G Witteeer, 1880)
38. time temper regret for wot we did, but not wot we didnt (Sidnee J Harris, 1800)
39. Tri tu end up with good regrets (Arthur Miller)
regret
40. tu regret is tu reliv (Henree D Thoro)
41. we dont regret that we ate tu littel (Tom Jeffersun)
42. we regret our virchu more than our vies (Holbrook Jaksun)
43. yer old wen regrets replaes dreems (Jon Barrymore)
44. yu dont see portant moments til tu late (Agatha Christee, 1940)
45. yueth=blunder, middel aej=struggel, old=regret (Ben Disraeli)
1633. reinkarnashun
1. Me wons beleeved in rekarnashun, but that was anuther life
1633. rek Havok
1634. rekord...
1. I thot the rekord wood stand til it got broke (Yogi Berra)
1635. Relax...
1. relax & evreethang yu chaes will katch yu (Jon Paola)
2. theer is more tu life than "faster"
3. time tu relax is wen yu dont hav time (Sidnee J Harris? or Jim Goodwin)
1636. Relijun... (religion in krat speek)
1. a kult is a relijun without politikal power
2. a mith is outta-date relijun (James Feibelman)
3. a relijun that is afraed av siens disoner god & kommit suiside (Ralf W Emersun)
4. all men need gods (Homer)
5. all relijuns R based on obae, that is voluntary slaveree (Alex Herzen, 1850)
6. devil subtrakt & divide. God multipli
7. dont giv up...Moses was wons a basket kase
8. dont giv up yer relijun til yu find a gooder won (Martin Fisher)
9. evreewon gotta get tu heven his wae (Frederik the grate)
relijun
10. folks gotu church tu daedreem bout god (Kert Vonegut)
11. giv us a relijun tu liv on. We kan die without help (Elbert Hubbard, 1900)
12. jard tu stumbel wen yer down on yer nees
13. I am more relijus on a sunny dae (Lord Byron, 1820)
14. I du benefits for all relijuns:
I wood hate tu blo the heerafter on a teknakality (Bob Hope)
15. I wont take relijun from a man hu werks oenlee his mouth (Karl Sandberg)
16. I wunder wot the 10 kommandants
wood look like if Moses ran em bi Kongres (Ronald Raegan)
17. if sumwon wanna share his relijus vyues with yu,
its 100% shuer him dont want yu tu share yer vyues with him
18. it is a good & gentel relijun, but not konveenyent (Mark Twain)
19. man luv his naeber as self, then kill him
if his theology is not strate (Mark Twaen)
relijun
20. nashunal churches R setup tu enslave us (Tom Paen, 1770)
21. relijun...folk thank it be true
wise sae it be fawls, rulers find it yuzeful (Seneka)
22. relijun...konsumer blame self if produkt fael
23. relijun...splaen tu ignorant the nacher av the nonnoabel (Ambrose Beers)
24. relijun=mistree + feer (A. Einstein)
25. relijun gotta inklude mistree (Edwin Luis)
26. relijun is a konfort (Mary W Montagu, 1740)
27. relijun is based on gilt (Kathy Ladman)
28. relijun is organized superstitushun
29. relijun is soshal akseptabel superstishun + sikosis
relijun
30. relijun is the oenlee sex pervershun sientifikally systemized (Luis Aragon, 1940)
31. relijun is the opium [drug] av the masses (Karl Marx, 1870)
32. relijuns R sublime tu the ignorant
yuzeful tu politishuns
ridikulus tu filosofers (Lucretius, 60bc)
33. relijuns R the kradels av despots (Mark DeSale, 1780)
34. sensless man kant make a werm but make gods bi the dusens (Mike E deMontaine, 1570)
35. sermons sound tu me like kommershals.
kant tell if god is the sponser or the produkt (Mignon Mclaughlin, 1966)
36. siens is the rekord av ded relijuns (Oskar Wild, 1890)
37. tern queshuns with no anser intu ansers yu kant queshun (Art Gekko)
38. The more I no av relijuns, the more konvinsed
I be that man wership self (Richard Burton)
39. The oenlee sin is innosins (Christofer Marlo, 1580)
relijun
40. The point av Christian is evreewon dezerv tu gotu hell (Seen Nigen)
41. theer is oenlee 1 relijun, with 300 vershuns (Jorj B Shaw, 1900)
42. tolerate is the best relijun (Vikter Hugo, 1870)
43. under same management for 2000 yrs (Cherch sine)
44. wage av sin is deth. Repent b4 paedae.
45. weer theer is an altar, theer is sivilizashun (Jo DeMaister, 1800)
46. Wen I du good, i feel good. Wen I du bad, I feel bad.
That iz mi relijun (Abe Linkoln)
47. Wot part av "dont" yu dont understand?
1637. remember
1. remember...yer yuneek, just like evreewon els
2. yu hu dont remember the past R kondemmed tu repeet it (Jorj Santayana)
remember wen
1638. remember wen
3 stooges was popular
5 sents will bi:
fone kall, 1930's
10-12 owns kandee bar, 1945
nuzpaper, 1955
10 sents: spend all dae at muvee theater (pop korn 5 sents xtra)
Ies-kreem sandwich from muzik truk that go up & down streets
5 & dime: Yu bi stuf that kost penees, sumtimes 2 sents.
Aej: perfekt aeg=old nuff tu no better & yunj nuff yu dont kare.
Aids was a helper
allowans: yu got 25 sents & was happy
remember wen...b4
B4: PC, internet, tv, drug wars, kredit kards, terrerists, sell fones
skuel bus, tape deks
baseball was outside in the daelite insted at midnite inside enkloesed stadium.
Kids plae baseball without "adult supervishun".
Bike: yuze kloespins tu attach kards tu bike so spokes make nois
Books: Nansee Dru, Hardy Boys
Burma shave sines along hiwaes
chip was a pees av wood
drive-in theaters was the rage. First=6 June 1933 & shoed "Wife Beware"
peek=5,000 around 1958
Dog: all R mutts (mongrels)
Drugs kum with kap yu kan take off without hammer & chizel?
Drugs: yu yuze chueabel kandy aspirin or vitamins
Dubbel-dog dare
Eenee-meenee-moe tu deside or selekt sumthang
Eet: It was big event for parents & kids tu go out tu eet (1 time/yeer)
remember wen...firefli
firefli: yu spend the evening chaesing fireflies
flour kame in 50 or 100 pound kloth saks. & mom save the saks.
Fone: yu was on a party line
fone booth had door yu kloes & even a tiny seet tu sit on
yu kood get outta the raen & wind & others mite not heer evree werd.
Now wot will superman du?
remember wen pae fone was cheeper than yer sell fone bill?
Fuller brush man
Fun: run thru the sprinkler
funees & komiks: remember Far Side? Pop-pie? Klutenjammer kids?
remember the kows lined up at slotter-hous & 1 kow tri tu kut in the line?
Garage was 1-kar & separate bilding out bak
Gas: 27 sents/gallon
gas staeshun WAS a plaes tu get gas (not food & lottery tikkets)
Theer man pumped the gas, kleened the windsheeld & cheked the oil...free
Aer for tires was free.
1949: Nu Jersee ban self-servis gas staeshun
2009: Oregon is oenlee state left that ban self-servis.
Grass: sumthang yu moe saturdae morn
Gum: pakaej av pink bubbel gun inkluded free baseball plaeing kards.
Gun: toy rifel had kork on a string
remember wen...hamberger
Hamberger: McDolalds was 15 sents
Hardware was sumthang yu got in a hardware store
Hobo: kum tu door & mom bake bred speshal tu feed him
Home: mom was theer wen the kids get home from skuel
Hous & Garden mag: started 1901, died Des 2007
How many Poles duit take tu chaenj a lite bulb?
Hula hoop
Hydrox kookees was the original (1908). Oreos kam later (1912)
Ies: metal kube traes with lever tu brake out the kubes
Jeen was a girl's name, not blue pants
kandee bar: 12 owns for 5 sents. Now:1.15 owns kost 50-80sents.
remember wen...kar
Kar: nowon ask weer the kar kees R...in the ignishun in the kar.
& the kar not lokked & parked on the street.
Kar: yuno instantly the make & yeer av evree kar yu see
remember hupmobil, Kord, Hudson, Nash, Rambler, Studabaker, Willys
with running bords & reel bumpers
kar spare tire was reel tire insted av a toy?
Kar: teens dreem av get a rodester
Then kan dubel-date & 1 kupel sit in the rumbel seet
kar vent windoes: the triangel yu twist tu divert wind in yer faes.
kash: yu bi most stuff kash. If not, at leest yu get it paed
off B4 yu thro it out as junk.
Keds R for kids
Kloud: that kloud look like...
Koffee shop: all tabels had box weer yu put in quarter & selekt
muzik tu plae on the juke box
Koke was a soda-pop yu drink outta a bottel (not drugs)
Koke masheen was a big tub av water
Kool-aed: yu add shugar & eet it outta the paper
Laundry: washtub had ringers yu feed bi hand tu squeeq out the water
Life seemed simple & quiet insted av hektik?
yer not run ragged.
Linkoln logs
remember wen...make
Make out=grade yu got on the last test
McDonnalds had a "fried pie" & yu kood find the filling.
milk delivered in glass bottels with kardbord stopper
milk shake: majer ingreedent was milk, insted av "nonfat milk solids"
& korn syrup solids, guar gum, dextrose, cellulose, gum, vanillian.
Monkee bars tu klimb on & hang upside down.
Morgage: wen yu pae it off, yu hav a morgage-bern party
Munee: huever in banker at the monopoly game deside all munee quesshuns
Muvees: Laurel & Hardy, Lone Ranger, Roy Rogers & Trigger
Nehi koke, grape: the rage in 1920's
No:
no pc's, no internet, no tv, no drug war, no terrerists
no skuel bus
nok-nok jokes
nylons: 2 peeses=1 for eech leg (insted av panty-hose)
Old: NE-1 over 20
Penny: yu dig it outta the muk just tu hav 1 sent
pot was a kooking yutensil in the kitchen
"Raes issue": yu argue over hu kan run fastest.
Rode-runner kartoons with wie-le-kiote
Roller skates kame with kees
Skuel:
desk had ink-well hole
Teech threten tu not pass yu if yer grades not good,
& then em hav the nerv tu put yu in same grade next yeer.
Kot with weppon at skuel: yu had sling-shot in bak pokket
Stamps wen yu spend munee, such as green stamps.
remember wen
Teech: weer hi heels. Male teech weer nektie
Teenaejers go stedee
Tennis shues ("sneekers") was oenlee for jim?
Thril: biggest thril was wen the circus kum tu town
or the 4 July parade
or get free kandee from Santa
toy box...yu just open the lid. No power tools or batteries needed.
Now: yu gotta hav first-klass sheers tu open the plastik that enkloes
the sizzers yu just bied?
Wons yu get inside, evreethang stapeled or twist-tied tu kardbord.
Travel: remember wen take kids with yu on plane? & it was fun?
Short line tu a kounter weer klerk did evreethang for yu.
Oenlee need tu get tu aerport 30 minuts B4 takeoff wich left
plenty av time tu brows thru shops.
Wen yu get theer, freends or famlee greet yu wen yu kum off the plane:
No security. Kan take NE-thang yu want. kan chek bags free.
Evree flite had meels.
TV took 5 minuts tu warm up
TV was in a wood kabinet tu look like "fine furnachuer"
no remote...yu hadda plae with nobs like the vertikal hold.
Ultimut Weppon: water balloon
Werk: dad gotu werk, mom stae home
was no "dae-kare" kauz mom was theer
1638. remoers...
1. remoers...see heven, feel hell (jorj Moor, 1890)
2. remoers beget reform (Will Kowper, 1760)
3. remoers is long-delaed regret (H L Menchen, 1920)
4. remoers is the start av virchu (Will C bryant, 1830)
1639. rent
1. lord giv, landlord take awae
1640. repeet...
1. like I sed b4, me never repeet
1640. repent...
1. dont pae tu repent (Ben Franklin)
2. if yu sin, repent. Roll in the muck wont duit (Aldous Huxlee, 1930)
3. repent=stop sinning (Ambrose Milan)
4. repent dont kyuer mischeef (Gaelik)
5. repent is remoers + akshun (Henree Miller, 1930)
6. repent the morn aft (Walter Skot, 1800)
7. wen yu repent, yer almost innosent (Seneka, 50ad)
1641. reporter...
1. if I had mi wae, I wood kill evree reporter,
but hell wood komplaen bi brakefast (W T Sherman)
2. reporter 1: wot shood I sae bout the peroxide blonds at the ball game?
r2: bleechers went wild.
3. reporter...most lern tu rite bi grade 2 & never impruev (Bob Nite)
4. reporter...riter hu get at the truth,
but dispel it in a torent av werds (Ambrose Beers)
b. sumwon hu ges at the truth,...
5. reporters thrive on the werld's misforchun (Russel Baker)
1642. reputashun... (reputation in krat speek)
1. 1 hr kan make a reputashun that last 1000 yrs
2. a good name kum from many akshuns & is lost bi 1 (Lord Jeffree)
3. better tu stumbel than tu never hav a good reputashun (Pliny, 50ad)
4. du rite & dont werree bout yer reputashun (Raemond Spruans, 1945)
5. glas, china, & reputation...eezee tu brake, hard tu mend (Ben Fraklin)
6. I lost mi reputashun, now I am a beest (Shakespeer)
7. it take 20 yeers tu bild a reputashun, 2 minuts tu ruen it (Warren Buffet)
8. kant bild reputashun on wot yer gonna du (Henree Ford, 1920)
9. many a man's reputation wood not no his character if em met (Elbert Hubbart)
10. mi reputashun gro with evree faelyuer (Jorj B Shaw)
11. not oft yer reputashun last longer than yer munee (Henree W Shaw, 1850)
12. oenlee time yuno yu hav reputashun is wen yu dont liv up tuit (Hoza Iturbi)
13. reputashun is short, character is forever (Jon B Go, 1845)
14. reputashun is wot others thank av yu, Oner is wot yuno av self (luis Bujold)
15. yer standing is wot em sae behind yer bak (Edgar W How, 1890)
16. Yu kan luze 100-yr reputashun in 1 sekond (Jap)
1643. reserch...
1. reserch is wot I du wen I dont no wot me du (Werner VonBraun)
2. reserch kauz kanser in rats
1644. resesshun...("recession" in krat speek)
1. resesshun is wen naber luze his job,
depresshun is wen yu luze yers (Ronald Raegun, 1980)
1645. resolushun...
1. yer nu yeers resolushun go in 1 yeer & out the other
1646.respekt...
1. be self, and others will respekt yu (Lao-Tzu)
2. dont treet man like worn shues yu thro awae (Plutarch, 100ad)
3. faemus wons luze respekt wen yu look kloes (Napoleon, 1800)
4. fools assume the respekt du theer offis (Aesop,600bc)
5. if NE-won kan go theer, its not respektabel (Jorj Moor, 1890)
a. if evree-won kan get in, its not respektabel
6. if yu respekt yer enemee, yu giv him
an advantaej him not entiteled tu (Sam Jonsun, 1750)
7. jeenyus is not respektabel (Liz Browning)
8. me dont get no respekt (Rodnee danjerfeeld)
9. respekt kant be lerned, bot, or akquired, it kan oenlee be erned
10. respekt the pinyuns av others even wen yu dont agree (Herbert H Leeman, 1920)
11. self respekt is the base for virchu (Jon Hershel, 1840)
12. sho respekt for old aej...drink good skotch
13. theer R more we feer than we respekt (Sokrates, 420 bc)
14. tu respekt others, first respekt self (Spaen)
1647.responsabel... (responsibility in krat speek)
1. eezee tu avoid responsabel wen yu R a small klog in big masheen
2. evree rite hav its duty
3. evree sivil rite hav its obligashun (Edison Hains)
4. god entrusted me tu me (Epictetus)
5. "I gotta duit" is better than "sumwon otta du sumthang"
6. if yu mess up, fess up
7. if yu want kids with feet on the ground,
put responsabel on theer sholders (Abigal VanBuren)
8. it is up tu yu tu fix yer programming (Ken Kees)
9. Its not mi fault I never lerned tu aksept responsability
10. most kan reed the ritin on the wall & assume its for sumwon els (Ivern Ball)
11. take life in yer hands & nowon tu blame (Erika Jong)
12. we need a bill av responsabalitees (Bill Maer)
13. wen yu point finger at sumwon, other 4 fingers point at yu (Luis Nizer)
1648. rest...
1. byuteeful tu du nuthang, then rest (Spaen)
2. for du-nuthang tu be fun, yu gotta hav werk yu dont du (Jerome Jerome)
3. him hu take rest is better than him hu take sitees (Ben Franklin)
4. i-del is not rest (Pau Peel)
5. if yu dont rest, yu wont last (Ovid, 0 ad)
6. just bak from vakaeshun, now me gotta rest
7. no job is not rest, emptee hed is distressed (Will Kowper, 1760)
8. rest in pees
9. rest on a bed av hot koels
10. rest on yer laurels
11. rested feeld giv bountiful krop (Ovid)
12. sundae=quiet iland in tossing see av life (S W Duffeeld)
13. tu much rest hert (Homer, 850 bc)
1649.result...
1. dont tell me how hard yu werk, tell me how much yu get dun (Jame Ling)
2. I got lotta results...found thousands av thangs that dont werk (Tom A Edisun, 1890)
3. if yu want honee, dont kik over the beehive (Dale Karnege, 1920)
4. krooked stik hav krooked shado
5. nuthang kum av nuthang (Shakespeer)
6. wi evree organized protest never get results...it annoi evreewon not in the protest
7. yu harvest wot yu plant (reep wot yu so)(Cicero, 50bc)
1650. retard...
1. how many retards duit take tu plae tag? 1
2. tu a retard, wot is long & hard?
grade 3
3. wi did god make retards?
kauz sheep kant fetch beer
4. wi did the retard steel the kop kar?
he saw "911" & thot it is a Porshe
1651. retire...
1. baddest thang bout werk is wot happen
tu yu aft yu stop werk (Gilbert K Chesterton, 1920)
2. best start thankin bout retire b4 the boss du
3. dont sit ina korner & gro, kum out & bark like me (Sam Jonsun, 1770)
4. enormus number av managers retire on the job (Peter Druker)
5. Florida is gods waet room (Glen Grees)
6. fyu men av akshun kan go wen the time kum (Malkolm Muggeridj, 1970)
7. go on living just tu madden em hu pae for it.
Its the oenlee fun me hav left (Voltaer, 1760)
8. I entent tu die at 110, shot bi a jelus husband (Thurgood Marshal, 1980)
9. men go tu peeses, wemen go on kookin (Gael Sheehe)
10. quesshun is not how old tu retire, but how much munee yu hav (Jorj Foreman)
11. redikulus tu retire at 65. I still had pimpels then (Jorj Berns, 1990)
12. retire: legal seenile (Emmet O'Donnel)
13. retire...em thro yu on the skrap heep (Simon DeBovoir, 1950)
14. retire...yu stop living at werk & start werking on living
15. retire is uglee werd in NE tung (Ernest Hemingwae, 1950)
16. tu retire is tu die (Pablo Kasals, 1960)
17. we kant afford tu skrap-pile folks (Maggee Kuen)
18. wen sum retire, yu kant tell the dif (Virjinya Graham)
b.wen sum retire, nowon notis
19. yer werld werk is dun, go home & take yer wages (Shakespeer)
20. yu kan stand almost NE-thang sept boredum (Jon Goeth, 1800)
1652. revenj...
1. an ie fer an ie & the werld go blind (Gandee)
2. b4 yu revenj, dig 2 graves (Konfusus, 500bc)
3. dont get mad, get even
4. dont skorch foe so hot yu sinj self (Shakespeer)
5. revenj...bite the dog that bited yu (Austin OMallee)
6. revenj is a form av nostalgia, isnt it?
7. revenj is best served kold
8. revenj is passhun, venjens is justis (Sam Jonsun, 1740)
9. revenj is sweet, forgiv supereer (Fransis Bakon)
10. revenj was sweet, warm, raesee. Aftertaste was like poison (Sharlot Bronte ,1850)
11. sukses is the best revenj (Vanessa Wilyums)
12. yu kant get ahed wile yu get even (Dik Armee)
revery...daedreem
1653. revolushun...
1. a revolushun is the faelyer av guvt (Jon Goeth, 1790)
2. eezeeer tu run a revolushun than a guvt (Ferdinand Markos, 1980)
3. evree revolushun was wons a thot in the mind av 1 man (Ralf W Emersun, 1850)
4. evree suksesful revolushun tern intu the tirant it deposed (Barb Tuchman, 1950)
5. first duty av revolushunary is...get awae with it (Abby Hoffman)
6. insurrekshun=faeled revolushun=fael tu replaes
bad guvt with misrule (Ambrose Beers, 1880)
7. Kommunist revolushun took the chaens from theer legs and
winded it round theer neks (Sam Bonom)
8. povertee is the parent av revolushun (Aristotel)
9. revolushun dont liten the burden av teeranee (Jorj B Shaw, 1900)
10. revolushun is a sudden chaenj in misgovern (Ambrose Beers, 1880)
11. revolushun is not a bed av roses (Fidel Kastro)
12. revolushun is not a dinner party (Mao the tung)
13. the most radikal revolushun suen tern konservativ (Hanna A Rendt, 1940)
14. the normal result av revolushun is nu masters (Ed F Halifax, 1920)
15. the tree av libertee must be refreshed from time tu time with
the blood av tirants & patriots (Tom Jeffersun)
16. xsessiv inkreez in NE-thang kauz reakshun (Plato, 400bc)
1654. rezent... (resentment in krat speek)
1. dont rezent=find pees (Budda, 500bc)
2. rezent hert yu, not the objekt yu hate (Norman V Peel, 1950)
3. yu gave him a chans tu sho character. Him didnt duit.
Him will never forgiv yu (Fred Nietzshe, 1890)
1655. rezine... (resignation in krat speek)
1. fatalism is lazy wae tu aksept wot must be (Natalee K Barnee, 1920)
2. man is rezined tu fate more than tu tri tu fix the problem (Tom Jeffersun, 1780)
3. rezined is konfirmed desperashun (Henree D Thoro, 1850)
1656. rich...
1. a rich man is a skoundrel or inherited it(Spaen)
2. better tu liv rich than tu die rich (Sam Jonsun, 1740)
3. choklut, koffee, & men R better if rich
4. dont get rich if yu dont understand it (Jon W Goeth, 1790)
5. her vois is full av munee
6. him hu hav littel but want less is rich
him hu hav a lot but want more is poor (Charles Kolton, 1820)
7. him hu oe nuthang is rich
8. hu iz rich? him hu is happy (Ben Franklin)
9. I dont wanna be richest won in semataeree, kant du biz theer. (Kernel Sanders)
rich
10. if yer happy with wot yu hav, yer rich
11. if yer kontent, yer rich (Lao-tzu, 600 bc)
12. if yer not kontent with wot yu hav,
yu wood not be kontent if yu got wot yu want (Sokrates, 400bc)
13. if yer riches R yers, wi kant yu take em with yu wen yu die? (Ben Franklin)
14. if yu hav 1 milyun $ [1920 dollars] yu kan akt like yer rich (Jon J Astor, 1920)
15. if yu like it, yer rich (Ben Franklin)
16. if yu no how rich yu R, yer not rich (Imelda Markos)
17. if yu oe nuthang, yer rich (French) [no debt=rich]
18. if yu R rich, yu sin (Desiderius Erasmus, 1500)
19. if yu wind up with nest aeg or gues aeg depend on the chik yu wed
rich
20. impressiv krowd, the havs & the hav-mores (Jorj Bush)
21. no just persun ever got rich fast (Meander, 300bc)
22. no matter how much yu hav, yu kant take it with yu
23. rich...take paen tu get, kare tu keep, greef if yu luze it
24. rich...yer inkum is > yer wife's sister's husband (H L Mencken)
25. rich=good hand-maed, poor mistress (Fransis Bakon, 1600)
26. rich=lack av want (J Brothesun)
27. rich=wot yu du with wot yu hav (Napoleon, 1800)
28. rich alwaes want more
29. rich as Kroeus=very rich. Reel king in wot is now Turkee, 550bc.
base for faree tale bout evreethang him tuch tern tu gold
rich
30. rich get richer, poor beget kids
31. rich hav man freends, poor dont even hav kin (Jap)
32. rich hav munee, welthee hav free time (Margaret Bonnono, or Steev Swid)
33. rich is not how much yu hav, its how littel yu want (J Brotherton)
34. rich is nuther werd for power (Mary W Montagu, 1730)
35. rich man=poorman with munee (W C Feelds)
36. rich man dont need character. (Hebru)
37. richest R kontent with littel (Plato)
38. smart man kant imajin poor (Charles Pegi, 1910)
39. sum get rich. This enkeraej industry & enterprise (Abe Linkoln)
b. sum R rich, sum mae get rich...thats industree
rich
40. sum get so rich em luze all respekt for humankind.
Thats wot I wanna be (Rita Rudner)
41. thank & gro rich (Napoleon Hill, 1923)
42. the cheef yuze av riches is tu flaunt it (Adam Smith, 1760)
43. the less yu want the richer yu R (Democritus, 400bc)
44. the more I see av the rich, the more I understand the giloteen (jorj B Shaw, 1900)
45. the more munee, the less virchu (Henree D Thoro, 1850)
46. The oenlee reesun tu hav munee is
so yukan tell the SOBs tu gotu hell (Humpree Bogart,1947)
47. the oenlee thang me like bout the rich is theer munee (Nansee Astor)
48. the poor suffer misery, the rich make fun av it (Jorj B Shaw)
49. the rich alwaes objekt tu guvt (Gilbert K Chesterton, 1910)
rich
50. the rich dont be like us, em pae less tax (Peter DeVries, 1930)
51. the rich otta admit em like munee (Ogden Nash, 1940)
52. the rich praes oenlee riches (Plato, 400bc)
53. the rich preech the virchues av povertee
54. the rich R dif from yu & me (F Skot Fitzgerald, 1930)
55. the rich R dif from yu & me, em hav kredit (Jon Lenard)
56. the rich R dif from yu & me, em hav munee
57. the rich swell up from pride, the poor from hunger (Solom Aleichem, 1900)
58. the richest hav the cheepest fun (Henree D Thoro, 1850)
59. the werld look good in 300 pounds a yeer (Shakespeer, 1600)
[note how much more munee it take tudae]
rich
60. tu be smart nuff tu get rich,
yu gotta be dull nuff tu want it (Gilbert K Chesterton,1910)
61. tu bekum rich, spend self (Sara Bernhart)
62. tu get rich, get wot yu kan, keep wot yu hav (Skot)
63. wen em sae em despise riches, em meen sumwon els is rich (Charles K Kolton, 1820)
64. wen yer riches multipli, yer kares du 2 (Ben Franklin)
65. yu kant be 2 rich or 2 thin (Babe Palee)
66. yu kant take it with yu wen yu go
67. yu R as rich or pore as yu thank yu R (Robert Kollier)
1657. ridddel, part 1=skolar werds bout...
1. I spent 50 yrs on the riddel av the Sfinx (Gregory Bateson)
2. Isabella's ded. She's no riddel.
Just a plaen parched pee on the griddel (Ambrose Beers)
3. its like the riddel av the Sfinx...
Wi R theer so many grate unwed wemen & no grate singel men? (Sara Parker)
4. Kathliks tried tu solv the riddel av relijun overnite (Jae P Dolan)
5. riter tern anser intu riddel (Karl Kraus)
6. Rushya is a riddel rapped in a mistree inside an enigma (W Churchil)
7. The human sole is a riddel (L Ron Hubbard)
8. The riddel was solved like a flash av litening (Karl F Gaus)
9. we all feel the riddel av the erth; no need tu point tuit (G K Chesterton)
10. yu kant put idea up ginst the wall & riddel it with bullets (Seen O'Kasee)
1658. ridddel, part 2=zampels (exampels in krat speek)
see also...jokes
1. add 2 tu 11 & get 1? 11am+2hrs=1pm
2. As I gotu st Ives
I met a man with 7 wifes
eech wife hav 7 saks
eech sak hav 7 kats
eech kat hav 7 kittens
kits, kats, saks, & wifes, how many gotu st Ives?
(anser=1=me, evreewon els kum from theer)
3. ban/ana banana split
4. br rae ed raesun bred
5.
eeeeee redee
6. gag geg skrambled aegs
7. lem/pie lemon pie
8. man driving blak truk, lites off, no moon
no street lites.
how did him see the kid in the street? it was a brite & sunny dae
9. pi pumpk e pumpkin pie
10. spell 80 with 2 letters a-t
11. sum months hav 30 daes, how many hav 28 daes? all av em
****** how?
did Darth Vader no wot Luke got for Kristmas? felt his presens in the foers
du a boet sho affekshun? it hug the shore
du baseball plaer hold a bat? bi the wings
du muzikan brush his teeth? with a tuba paste
du pigs rite? with pigpen
du yu feel wen yu get big elektrik bill? shokked
du yu get 150 wemen tu sae "dam"? get 1 tu sae "bingo"
du yu get a dog off the roed? put him in a barking lot
du yu get a squirel interested in yu? akt like a nut
du yu get in tuch with a fish? drop him a line
du yu katch a unique rabbit? yu sneek up tu him
du yu make holy water? boil the hek outta it
du yu no elefant is under the bed? yu bump hed on seeling
du yu no the see is freendlee? it wave
du yu starv a hippee? hide food stamps under the soep
du yu tell differens tween chicken & tomato suep? reed the label
du yu win baseball & never thro a ball? oenlee thro strikes
is dog like a pennee? both hav hed & tael
R mous & old door alike? both squeek
shood yu treet a baby goet? like a kid
****** how many?
3 lemons, yu take awae 2, how many du yu hav? 2
animals did Moses take in the ark? it was noah, not Moses
animals fit in a panty hose?
14...10 piggees, 2 kalfs, 1 ass, 1 beever
****** hu?
got the best food on the Titanik? sharks
shave 10 times/dae & still hav a beard? barber
****** is & R
is it legal for man tu wed his widoe's sis? no, gotta die tu hav a widoe
R birth kontrol pills deduktabel? oenlee if defektiv
****** misc
ever see an asshole rapped in plastik? look at yer drive lisens
hous hav 4 sides that faes south,
bare walk past hous. Wot koler is the bare? wite...hous in on north pole
if elefant hav 3 balls, wot du yu du? walk him & pitch tu the rino
if yu drop yello hat in red see, wot duit bekum? wet
kowboy rode intu town on Fridae, staed 2 daes,
rode out on Fridae...how? hoers is Fridae
****** weer?
du kars swim? in the kar pool
du yu find man eeting sharks? in fish eeteeree
is ocean deepest? on the bottom
****** wen?
is a door like a bottel? wen its ajar
is a wood stik king? wen its a ruler
is it danjerus tu plae kards? wen joker is wild
******** wi?
did em tare down the stadium in Warsaw? evree seet was behind a pole
did teech draw a dot on the floor? tu illustrate a point
did the ant klimb the elefant leg 2 times? it got pissed off
did the Klintons send Chelsee tu privat skuel?
in publik skuel, Sekret Servis wood be out gunned
did the klok in eeteree run slo? kept going bak 4 sekonds
did the koech gotu the Bank? tu get his quarter bak
did the kookee gotu the dokter? it feel krummy
did the kop arrest the belt? it held up the pants
did the kowboy get a dashhund? em sed "get along littel doggee"
did the tomato blush? it see the salad dressing
did the tomato tern red? she see mr green pee
****** wi?
didnt the woman run from the lion? em sed it was a man-eeter
dont bike stand up without yu? its 2 tired
dont seegulls fli over the bae? em wood be baeguls
du chickens lae aegs? if em dropped em like kows, em wood brake
du girrafs hav long nek? feet smell
du gorrila hav big nose? it hav big finger
du hummingbirds hum? dont no the werds
du lions eet raw meet? dont no how tu kook
du kows weer bells? horn dont sound
du yu never spot a lepord in Afrika? it kum with spots
hav fens round the sementary? folks R dieing tu get in
is 6 afraed av 7? 7 ate 9
is baker rich? his hands R alwaes in do
is it eezee tu wae fish? em provide the skales
is pool tabel green? yu wood be 2 if em rakked yer balls all nite
R balplaers in trubel? em hit & run
R potatoes good detektivs? em keep ies peeled
R spiders good outfeelders? em katch flies
was the elefant last on the ark? had tu pak its trunk
was the yung ant konfuzed? all his unkels R ants
wont kanabels eet klowns? em taest funny
****** wich?
4 kars get tu stop at same time, wich 1 go first?
the 1 with gun rank & bumper stikker that sae "guns dont kill, I du"
bern longer...red or wite kandel neether, em bern shorter
go faster, heet or kold? heet...yukan katch a kold
kame first, chicken or the aeg? aeg...fish aeg, frog aeg, dino aeg
wae more, 1 pound av fethers, or 1 av led? neether...wae same
wae more, 1 pound av fethers, or 1 av gold? fether wae more
[gold is in troy owns & pounds]
****** wot?
2 thangs yu kant eet for brakefast lunch & supper
2 werds hav the most letters? post offis
ben round for milyuns av yeers post offis
but never older than 1 month? moon
bilding hav the most storees? library
bird lift the most? a krane
bone get longer & shorter, longer & shorter? trombone
did bee sae tu flower? welkum honey
did beech sae tu the tide? long time, no see
did big toe sae tu littel toe? a heel follo us
did bra sae tu hat? yu go on a hed, I'll straten out thees 2
did kalkulater sae tu the tree? got NE spare roots?
did kandee bar sae tu lollipop? hello sukker
did kandel 1 sae tu kandel 2 going out tunite?
did karpet sae tu the floor? got cha kuvered
did lite switch sae? yu tern me on
did math book sae? boy, du I hav problems
did muffler sae? I'm exhausted
did snael sae wen it sat on turtel? weeeeeeeee
did sok sae tu foot? yer putting me on
did tree sae tu Sonny Bono? I got yu babe
did wall 1 sae tu wall 2? meet yu at the korner
did zero sae tu 8? nies belt
dont ask quesshuns but demand ansers fone
dont brake if yu thro it off bilding? paper
du a kar sing? kartoon
du hous weer? address
du nonseeabel man drink? kondensed milk
du small folk drive? minivan
du snoman eet for brakefast? snoflakes
du yu find inside fire plug...H2O
outside the fire plug? K9P
du yu get wen kross snoman with vampire? frostbite
du yu get wen yu kut komik in 2? half wit
du yu hafta giv awae tu keep? yer werd
du yu kall a goest that haunt yer ball teem? teem spirit
du yu kall a man with shuvel in hed? Dug
du yu kall a man without shuvel in hed? Duglas
du yu kall a man without arms or legs &
yu kan walk all over him? Mat
du yu kall a woman hu floet down the river? Flo
du yu kall mrs bigger's baby? a littel bigger
du yu put in a box tu make it liter? holes
du yu put on the tabel & kut it but dont eet it? dek av kards
flower du yu alwaes weer? 2-lips
go intu water red & kum out balk? red-hot poker
go round & round the wood but never in the wood bark on tree
go round the hous, over the hous, in the hous, fens
but never tuch the hous? sun
go round the yard but never muve? fens
go round werld & stae in a korner? stamp
go up & down, but never muve? staers
go up & never kum down? yer aej
go up the chimnee down, kant go down chimnee up? umbrella
go with kart, kum with kart,
kart kant yuze it but alwaes hav it nois
happen wen klown fart? him smell funny
happened tu the majik trakter? it terned intu a feeld
happened wen he got big gas bill? him xploded
hav 2 hands but no arms? klok
hav 4 legs & 1 arm? mi pit bull
hav 4 legs & a bak but no body a chaer
hav 18 legs & katch flies? baseball teem
hav 75 balls & skru old wemen? bingo
hav fingers but kant rite? gluvs
hav mouth but no teeth? river
hav teeth but no mouth? komb, saw
is blak & wite & red all over? nuzpaper
is eezeeest wae tu thro ball so it kum bak tu yu? thro it strate up
is full av holes but hold water good? sponj
is it wen yu R kot in elevater with Dolly Parton boobee trap
is yers but others yuze it much more than yu? yer name
kan yu brake without tuch it? yer promis
kind av koffee did em serv on the Titanik? Sanka
kind av munkee fli? hot aer baboon
kind av soda yu kant drink baking soda
kind av tie yu kant weer? raelroed tie
kind av wood is not strate or krooked? sawdust
kum wons in a minut, 2 in a moment,
never in 1000 yeers? m
run but kant walk? river
ship du riters yuze? penmanship
sikness did Brues Lee get evree winter? Kung flu
sitee dont hav NE folks? elektrisitee
speek without mouth, heer w/o eers,
dont hav body, aer is its mother ekko
start with t, end with t & hav t init? tee pot
time is it wen elefant sit on yer fens? time tu get nu fens
weer shues but dont walk? footpath
werd bekum shorter wen yu add 2 letters tuit? short
werd du yu alwaes pronouns rong? rong
********* wot du me be?
6 inch long, 2 inch wide & drive wemen wild? munee
6 inch long, soft & pliabel, wemen like tu
get theer hands onit & blo it? 100$ bill
7-letter werd get longer wen yu remuve 1 letter? lounjer
at nite kum unbid, bi dae alwaes lost, not stold stars
badder than the baddest & gooder than the goodest nuthang
big as berg, small as pee
swim forever in dri see meteor, asteroid
father just kum intu this werld
wen son sat on roof father=fire, sun=smoke
Greek beleeved...4 brothers born tugether
1 run & never tired, 2 eet & never full
3 drink & alwaes thirstee,
4 alwaes sing, but never good water, fire, erth, wind
****** wot du me be?
green hous, inside is wite hous,
inside is red hous with many babees watermelon
him hu hav it dont tell, him hu take it dont no
him hu noit dont want it kounterfit
I bind it & it walk, let it lues & it stop sandel, shue
I dont breeth, eet, drink, thank, see
du run & jump, swin & stretch, sleep & stand,
gro& plae leg
I kum from a mine, shu up in wood box forever,
evreewon yuze me til I die "led" in "led pensil"
maker dont want it, bier kant yuze it,
yuzer kant see it. wot iz it? koffin
****** wot du me be?
mother=kloud, father=wind, sun=streem,
dotter=fruit, bed=raenbo, erth=resting plaes raen
never rude tu yu,
tho flap mi tung for all tu see dog
never run outta breth? klok, river, mill run, puter
never was, alwaes will be
nowon see me, never will tumorro, fyucher
no north, west, or eest
wether not fit for man or beest north pole
poke yer fingers in mi ies &
I devour paper, kloth & quilt sheers, sizzers
run over feelds & woods bi dae
alone under bed at nite
long tung hang out, waet for a bone shue, dog
spred open the fuzz, stik in bare thang mitten [or sex objekt]
start av eternity, end av lite
start av end, end av nite e
start with f, end with k,
if it dont werk, yuze yer fingers fork
[yu thot it was the other f werd didnt yu]
the biggest yuze for kowhide? hold kow tugether
the dif tween heer & theer? t
the more I dri, the wetter I get? towel
the more yu take, the more yu leev behind? footprints
the more yu take awae, the bigger it is? hole
wax & wane, lite the dark, melt tu shapeless mess kandel
yer Amerikan wen go in bathroom & wen kum out
wot R yu wile in theer? Yeropeon
yu anser me even tho I never ask? fone
yu brake it wen yu sae it? silens
****** wotz?
a boomarang that dont retern? a stik
a rabbit that walk bakward? reseeding haer line
a skunk werth? 1 sent
blak & wite & red all over? nuzpaper, zebra with 2 much lipstik
dif tween x boyfreend & husband? 1 kiss misses, other miss kisses
differens tween woman & puter? woman wont take a 3 inch floppy
in the middel av Paris? r
kolerless, wateless & in a barrel it get liter? hole
krook hu fell in sement mixer? hardened kriminal
the biggest ant? elefant
the dif a dentist & sadist? sadist hav nuer mags
the dif tween Mikeel Jaksun & Janet Jaksun 1 is blak
the dif tween jueler & jaeler
jueler sell watches, jaeler watch sells
the dif tween statistishun in England & Sicily?
English tell how many will die next yeer
Sicily giv yu theer names
1659. ride...
1. ride ruffshod over...in old daes, kalveree horse was ruffshod=
the naels stik out belo so wen hoers step on yu, it hert xtra bad
1660. ridikule=attak virchu & good sens & make fools laff (Joe Addisun)
1661. rigid plan is bad (Pubilus Syrus)
1662. rime or reesun (Shakespeer)
1663. ring...
1. boxing ring is square
2. ring a bell=remind sumwon
3. ring down the kertin=end av sho
4. ring round the moon, storm kuming soon
5. ring true=sound like true. From old test for kounterfit koins
1664. rinkel...
1. rinkels sho weer the smile was (Mark Twain)
2. rinkeled like a prune
1665. 1. rip van Winkel=behind times. from story (Washington Irving, 1820)
bout man hu sleeped 20 yrs. Wen wake up, thange much different.
1666. rise...
1. rise and shine
2. rise tu the baet=du wot sumwon want yu tu
1667. risk...
1. a ship in harber is safe, but thats not wot ships R for (Jon A Shed)
2. amachuers bilded the ark, professhunals bilded the Titanik
3. better tu fall flat on faes than leen 2-far bakward (James Thurber)
4. Calculated risk differ from rash (Jorj Patton)
5. dont mind be in hot water...it keep yu kleen (G K Chesterton)
6. dont tri tu walk kross river wen water averaej 3 ft deep (Milton Freedman)
7. em hu trust chans gotta liv with the result (Kalvin Kooleej, 1910)
8. go out on a limb, thats weer the fruet iz (Frank Skully)
9. gotta luze fli tu katch trout (Jorj Herbert)
risk
10. gotta risk go 2 far tu see how far yu kan go
11. Grate deeds kum at grate rish (Herodotus)
12. him hu risk nuthang, get nuthang (French)
13. I du wot I kant so I kan lern how (Piccasso)
14. I'm not afraed I will fall intu mi ink-jar (Ralf W Emersun)
15. It is eezee tu be brave wen far awae from danjer (Aesop, 600bc)
16. It take a lifetime tu get a good name, & 1 sekond tu blo it
17. Life is risk & yu kant get out alive (Jim Roen)
18. liv with risk...jump off klift & bild yer wings on the wae down (Rae Bradbury)
19. many grate ideas fael kauz inventer koodnt stand be laffed at
risk
20. most never dare tu tri (Mary Kae Ash)
21. progres require risk. Tu get tu base 2, yu gotta leev base 1 (Fred Wilkox)
22. risk a small fish tu katch a big 1
23. risk is faelyuer-prone. If not it wood be shuer-thang. (Tim McMahon)
24. risk it. If yu win, yer happy; if yu luze yer wise.
25. risk kum from dont no (Warren Buffet)
26. The feer av be laffed at make all av us kowards (Mignon McLaughlin, 1960)
27. the hardest risk is tu be onest with self (Walt Andersun)
28. the path tu danjer is smooth (Shakespeer)
29. thro self out windo tu exkape fire is not suiside (Jeen Roso)
risk
30. tu diskuver nu lands, yu gotta luze site av shore (Andre Gide)
31. tu kaushus is tu risky (J. Nehru)
32. turtel make progres oenlee wen it stik out nek (James Konant, 1930)
33. wae possibilitees, then take risks (Hehmuth VonMoltke)
34. werk like theer is a chans yu will luze (D D Eisenhower)
35. wot yu risk sho wot yu value (Jeen Wintersun)
36. yu gotta risk it tu get it
37. yu miss 100% av the shots yu dont take (Waen Gretzky)
38. yu kan tri NE-thang but yu kant du evreethang (Napoleon, 1800)
1668. rite, tipe 1... pen & pensil & paper & ink ("Writing" in krat speek)
1. 1 man tern over half a library tu make 1 book (Sam Jonsun)
2. be kleer obskyuer (E B Wite)
3. dif tween rite werd & almost rite=dif tween litening & litening bug (Mark Twaen)
4. eezee reeding is hard riting (Nathaneel Hawthorn)
5. eezeeer tu rite if yu hav sumthang tu sae (Sholem Ash)
6. em hu kant rite, rite manuals
7. em lard leen books with fat av others werk (Robert Burton, 1621)
8. essential gift av good riter: good shit detekter (Ernest Hemingwae, 1958)
9. good rite-up...10% inspired, 15% swet, 75% desperut
rite 1
10. good riting is alwaes nuerotik (Will Styron, 1958)
11. good stile shood seem like a akseedent (W Somerset Maugham, 1938)
12. helthee sentens is very rare (Henree D Thoro)
13. How tu rite: (Will Safire)
dont put statements in negativ form
and dont start with konjunkshun
avoid repitishun bi rereed & rerite & edit & then duit agin
never yuze big werd wen a diminuativ will du
unqualified superativs R baddest
de-accession euphemimisms
avoid trendy serkumlokushuns that sound flaekee
last, but not leest, avoid kleeshaes like the plaeg
14. I bekame a riter kauz I suspekted I wood never be abel tu du reel werk (Russel Baker)
15. I dont like tu rite, but I like wot I rote (Gloria Steinem)
16. I dont thank wen I rite.
Yu kant du 2 thangs at same time
and be good at both (Don Marquis, 1933)
17. I retern this good tiping paper
tu yu kauz sumwon printed gibberish onit (kollej prof)
18. I tri tu leev out the parts yu will skip over (Elanor Leonard)
19. if dokter sae me hav 6 minuts tu liv, I wood rite faster (Isaek Asimov)
rite 1
20. if I dont rite, I go mad (Lord Byron)
21. if in dout, rite it tu be reeded 100 yrs later (Sam Butler)
22. if yu wanna make munee as a riter,
aem for person hu muve his lips wen him reed (Don marquis)
23. in Amerika oenlee suksesful riters R portant
in England no riter iz portant
in Frans, all riters R portant
in Austraelya...yu gotta tell em wot riter iz
24. it took me 15 yeers tu find I kant rite,
but bi then I was femus & koodnt quit (Robert Benchlee)
25. like tu rite, hate the paperwerk (Peter DeVries)
26. me no good at rite, good at rerite (James Michener)
27. most editers fael as riters, so du most riters (T S Eliot)
28. original riter...nowon kan imitate him (Cattobriand, 1802)
29. Rite=soshally akseptabel skizo (E L Koktoro)
rite 1
30. Rite=talk without get interupted (Jules Renard, 1895)
31. Rite a wise saeing & yer name will liv forever
32. rite down wot pop intu yer hed. unsot thots R best (Fransis Bakon)
33. rite down yer thots. That wae yu dont bother sumwon with em.
(Isabel Kolegate, or Jess Stuart, or huever)
34. rite draft 1 with yer hart. Rerite with hed.
35. rite herts in dust, rite good deeds in marbel (Ben Franklin)
36. riter hate editer, but hate more tu not be published (Russel Lines)
37. riter is like god...evreeweer but not seed (Gustave Flaubert)
38. riter konvert anser tu riddel (Karl Kraus)
39. riter liv 2 times: 1 in reel life, 1 in mirrer (Katherine D Bowen)
rite 1
40. riter shood rite wot most kant (Anais Nin)
41. riters and luvers suffer from overlode. absens set yu free (Sam Jonsun)
42. riters ask for kritisism, but want praes (W S Maugham, 1900)
43. riters shood be red, but not seed or herd.
44. riters shood steel with good judjment (Josh Billings)
45. riting is grate, yu kan invent almost NE-thang (Ivana Trump)
46. riting on the wall=warn, warn in big bold letters so all kan see
from story bout danyeel interpret king's dreem...him will be throed out
47. sinonim: werd yu yuze kauz yu kant spell the other (Baltasar Grasian)
48. story shood hav start, mid, end...in NE order (Jeen Luk Godard)
49. sum editers R riters hu faeled; so R most riters
rite 1
50. take a lotta werk tu make it eezee tu reed (Enriqu J Poncela)
51. thank much, talk littel, rite less (Italian)
52. The anchents stold all mi good thots (Ralf W Emerson)
53. The kyer for riters kramp is riters blok (Inigo DeLeon)
54. The oenlee good riter isa ded riter (James Farrel)
(impli tudae's riters not as good as old ded riters)
55. The pen iz miteeer than the sord (Ed Buluer)
56. the winner rite the histree books
57. theers many a best-seller a teecher kood hav prevented (Flannery O'Konner)
58. trash kan is riters best freend (Isaek B Singer)
59. wen we see a natural stile, we R amazed & delited. (Blais Paskal, 1670)
rite 1
60. wen yer dun riting it, yu start tu see wot yu wanna sae (Mark Twaen)
61. werds R nuthang alone. Bekum powerful
in the hands av good riter (Nathaneel Hawthorn)
62. without adultree, most riters wood be without werk (Peter S Preskot)
63. yer manuskript is good & original.
The good is not original. The original is not good.
64. yu kan rite baddest book bi selekt parts
from the best riters in the werld (G K Chesterton)
65. yu kant diskeraej reel riter. Him dont kare wot yu sae (Sinklaer Luis)
66. yuze "dam" wen yu want "very"
editer will remuve it. Then it will be as it shood (Mark Twaen)
1669. rite, tipe 2...krat rules bout the "korrekt" wae
1. if yu kant input 1,000,000+ werds intu puter bi quitting time,
yer asleep, ded , or in a koma
2. if yu kant yuze 5+ werds in evree sentens so "obskuer" even
greek geeks dont hav a klue, yer a faelyuer
3. if yu dont run around the subjekt 10,000+ times & never sae NE-thang, yer no krat
4. if yu dont make sentens strukshuer so komplex & konfuzed,
even Einsten dont hav a klue: dont tri it
1670. rite, tipe 3...(not rong) ("korrektness" in superkrat)
see also...rong
1. 2 rongs dont make a rite, but 2 rites make aerplane
2. alwaes du rite, it gratifi sum & amaze all (Mark Twaen)
3. be rite half the time beet get it half rite all the time (Malkum Foerbs)
4. du rite. This gratifi sum & amaze others (Mark Twain)
5. du the rite thang insted av du thangs rite (Peter Drukker)
6. fite for rite is the gratest sport in the werld (Theo Roosevelt, 1900)
7. I wood rater be rite than president (Henree Klae, 1850)
8. if 2 rongs dont make a rite, tri 3
9. If not rite, dont duit. If not true, dont sae it (Mark Aurelius)
rite 3
10. if yu waet til yu kan duit rite, yu will never start
11. if yu want it dun rite, duit self
12. I'll defend tu the deth yer rite tu sae it but I dont agree with yu (Voltaer)
13. I'll defend tu the deth yer rite tu sae it but I wont listen tu yu (Tom Gallowae)
14. it is danjerus tu be rite wen the guvt is rong (Voltair)
15. its not hu is rite, but wot is rite (Tom H Huxlee, 1875)
16. korrektness is the last refuge av em with nuthang tu sae or du (Fred Wasiman)
17. majority not alwaes rite
18. make shuer yer rite, then duit (Davee Krokket)
19. mite dont make rite.
rite 3
20. rite...dont need tu xpalen it or apolojize after (Red Auerbach)
21. rite...nowon kan take it awae (Ramsee Klark)
22. rite as raen
23. rite is its defens (Bertalt Brecht)
24. rite is not wot sumwon giv yu, its wot nowon kan take awae
25. rite is rite even if evreewon is ginst it (Will Pen, 1680)
26. rite is rite even if nowon duit. rong is rong even is evreewon duit
27. rite tu speek dont inklude rite tu be taken seereeus (Hubert Humpree)
28. so much eezeeer tu be kritikal than tu be rite (Disraeli)
29. sumtimes a fyu no wen thousands R rong (Jon Milton, 1640)
rite 3
30. superior no wot is rite, inferyer no wot sell (Konfusus, 500bc)
31. the kustomer is alwaes rite
32. the meek shall inherit the erth, but not the mineral rites (A Einstein)
33. the rite tu be rong is rite (Harry Weinberger)
34. we hold thees truths tu be self evident...all R made equal.
All R endowed bi his maker with permanent rites. Mung thees R
life, libertee, & the rite tu seek happiness (Tom Jeffersun & others)
35. wen yer rite, nowon remember it. Wen yer rong, evreewon remember
36. wen yer rong admit it, wen yer rite...shut up (Ogden Nash)
37. wotz rite mae not be popular & wotz popular mae be rong
38. yu kan be rite or happy (Gerald Jompolsky)
39. yu kant put the same shue on evree foot (Syrus, 100bc)
1671. rite, tipe 4... (not left)
1. rite-hand man=top helper. from the rite side=oner
1672. riter...
1. aft 15 yrs av riting I found me dont hav NE riting talent (Robert Benchlee, 1930)
2. evree riter thank the werld is out tu get him (James Baldwin, 1960)
3. free-lans riter is paed per pees, per werd, or perhaps (Robert Benchlee)
4. many riters thank him be the oenlee good riter stil alive (W H Auden, 1945)
5. professhunal riter=amacher hu didnt quit (Richard Bach)
6. tu rite, talk like komman man, thank like wise man (Aristotel, 350bc)
7. wi du riters rite? Kauz it is NOT theer (Tom Berger)
1673. river
************* wot river go thru? ************
1. Belgrade, budapest, Vienna Danube
2. Cairo Nile
3. Florens Arno
4. Harpers Ferry Potomak
5. London Thames
6. Nu London Thames
7. Strasberg Rine
******* biggest river in
Brazil Amazon
Burma Irrawaddy
Frans Loire
Holland Rine
Venezuela Orinoco
wot river did Julius Seesar kros? Rubicon
1673. rob... (krook, steel)
1. rob Peter tu pae Paul=werthless akshun that dont du no good (1380)
2. robber: giv me yer munee or els
man: or els wot?
robber: dont konfuze me, im nu at this
1674. robin Hood=fite for poor ginst rich or powerful.
from story bout Erl av Huntingdon, 1200ad
1675. Rode hard and put out tu pasture
1676. Roed... (road in krat speek)
1. just kauz him take dif roed, dont meen him lost (H J Brown)
2. Middel av the roed
3. roed tu Damascus=majer chaenj in basik beleef
based on Saul hu konverted from ju & bekame St Paul
4. roed tu hell is paved in good intent
1677. Roed sines... silly rode sines, straenj messages on hiwae sines
parking lot sines, billbords
1. keep yer ie on the roed & stop reeding sines (bilbord next tu hiwae)
2. roed mae hav water wen it raen
3. sementary roed. Ded end.
4. stop: drive sidewaes (Jap roed sine=detuer)
5. thou shall not park (Cherch park lot)
6. wen this sine is underwater, dont drive on this roed (roed sine in Tenn)
1678. roegs R better than morons kauz em sumtimes rest (Alex Dumas)
1679. roel with the punch
1680. roer like a lion
1681. Roger dogger
1682. rokking hoers muve a lot but dont go noweer (Al montapert)
[dont mistake muving for progress]
1683 roll...
1. roll with the punch
2. rolled off his tung and went akross town
3. rolling stone gather no moss
1684. Rome wasnt bilded in 1 dae=NE-thang portant require werk
1685. Romeo, romeo wi R yu Romeo? Chaenj yer name so we kan wed.
(or...deni yer birthrite so we kan wed) (Juleeet=Shakespeer)
1686. Rong... (not rite) ("incorrectly" or "invalid" or "nonkorrect" in krat speek)
see also...rite 2
1. 1 all-shit wipe out 1,000 attaboys
2. 2 rongs dont make 1 rite
3. admit yer rong. It sho yu R wiser now (Alexander Pope)
4. if theer is a rong wae, sumwon will duit (Murfees law)
5. if yu alwaes duit that wae, its rong (Charles Kettering, 1910)
6. I'm rong 99% av the time (A Einstein)
7. its a good thang yu go so slo, yer going the rong wae on a 1-wae street
8. rong side av the traks=bad or poor part av town
("environmentally-inferior" in modern krat)
9. the rong wae is tu tri tu make others duit the rite wae
1687. Rope...
1. wen yu get tu the end av yer rope, tie a not & hang on (Franklin D Roosevelt)
1687. Rose...
1. Roses R red, violets R blue, flush the toilet aft yu
2. Roses R red, violets R blue, Im skitzo & me tu (Oskar Levant)
3. want roses, liv with thorns (Iran)
1688. rotten tu the kore
1689. round...
1. round-robin=send a petishun roud for evreewon tu sine
started in Frans around 1500. For kommon folk tu peteshun the king,
king oft chop off heds av first 5-10 names on the petishun.
Tu get round this, em yuzed a ribbon soed tu make a loop=no start & no end.
2. round up the yuzyual suspekts (muvee Casablanka, Claud Raens)
1690. rub...
1. rub salt in wuend=make it badder=hert him more
2. rub the rong wae=irratate
1691. rude=week mans imatashun av strong (Erik Hoffer, 1970)
1692. ruff... (rough in krat speek)
1. Cheerful & keraej will take yu over the ruff spots in life (Will Olser)
2. divinity shape our ends, ruff-kut how we will (Shakespeer)
3. go the wae that seem best, even if ruff. Xpeereens will smueth it (Pythagoras)
4. god made man b4 woman...alwaes du ruff draft first
5. I like men ruff round the edj (Kat Deelee)
6. if him [King av Frans] be ruff, I will be as trubelsum as kan be (Elizabeth 1)
7. if luv be ruff with yu, be ruff with luv (Shakespeer)
8. Jorj Bush sed "I no yu had ruff times, want a puppy?" (Dan Quayle)
9. look at him...rinestone in the ruff (Dorthy Parker)
ruff
10. on life's ruff sees, fill yer saels with lusty wind (Jorj Chapman)
11. reel=hard & ruff. If its plesant, its a dreem (Simon Weil)
12. ruff around the edjes=not refined
13. ruff as a korn kob
14. ruff truth is hard on vanity (Ed G Bulwer)
15. ruff werk...the oenlee wae tu get at the truth (Oliver W Holms)
16. ruff winds shake the buds av Mae (Shakespeer)
17. ruffnek=slang for oil feeld werkers
18. ruffriders R ruff on ruffneks
19. the enemee...winter & ruff wether (Shakespeer)
ruff
20. the landskape look smueth at a distans, ruff up kloes
21. the roed tu grateness if ruff (Seneka)
22. the ruff brake virchue must go thru (Shakespeer)
23. the sole is a ruff diamond, yu gotta polish it (Danyel Defoe)
24. thees hi wild hills & ruff uneven wae.... (Shakespeer)
25. tho the wae be ruff & winding,
stae on the path & yu will get tu the end (Sam Jonsun)
26. traffik lites in Nu York is just a ruff ges (David Letterman)
27. true man dont shrink from ruff werk (Theodore Roosevelt)
28. truth taest ruff if yu bite it (T S Eliot)
29. wen times R ruff, .... (Sid Vishus)
30. yu sleep peesful at nite oenlee kauz yu hav ruff men tu gard yu (Jorj Orwell)
1693. ruin...
1. the soers av ruin:yueth, welth, hi birth, lak av speereeans.
konsider the fate av 1 with all 4. (Hitopadesa)
1694. rule... (ruel in nonkrat)
1. be studeeus, lerned, industreeus & yu will be rich
be sober & temperat & yu will be helthee
be virchuus & yu will be wise
2. boss rule...1. the boss is alwaes rite
2. wen boss is rong, see rule 1.
3. defakt rule...info deterorates upward thru burokratsees
4. dont lern saeftee ruels bi akseedent
5. dont violate rules til yuno how tu du em (T S Eliot, 1920)
6. em remember the ruels yu broke
(yer noed for the ruels yu brake) (Douglas McArther,1950)
7. gold rule...him hu hav gold make the rules
8. him hu hav the gold, ruel
9. if not for rules, how kan yu brake em? (Leo Durocher)
rule
10. if yu obae all ruels, yu miss all the fun (Kat Hepbern)
11. let reesun rule wants (Cicero, 60 bc)
12. NE fool kan make a ruel & other fools obae it (Henree D Thoro, 1860)
13. no ruels heer, we tri tu du sumthang (Tom A Edisun, 1890)
14. obae ruels wen yung so yu will hav strength tu brake em wen old (Mark Twain)
15. ruel 1...save all parts
16. ruel av thumb=ruff ges or based on past speereeans
17. ruel av thumb...never yuze yer thumb as a ruler,
yu'll hit it with hammer or get splinter init
18. ruel the ruest=dominate, boss, kontrol
19. ruel with an iron hand (iron fist, iron rod)=strikt, stern, harsh
rule
20. ruels av program optimize...1. dont duit (Mike Jaksun)
2. (xperts oenlee) dont duit yet
21. ruels R made tu be broke
22. ruler must heer & be def, see & be blind (Jerman)
23. thank in the morn. Akt at noon. Eet at sundown. Sleep at nite (Will Blake, 1800)
24. yu kant eet in town kauz the "no-shirt, no-shues, no eet" rule
1695. rumer... (rumor in krat speek)
1. rumer go in 1 eer & out many mouths (Chineez)
2. rumer muve faster, but dont stae as long (Will Rogers)
3. rumer without a leg tu stand on get around NE-wae (Jon Tudor)
4. tri tu squash a rumor=tri tu unring a bell (Shane Alexander)
1696. run...
1. it take all the runnin yu kandu tu stae in 1 plaes (Luis Karrol, 1872)
2. run after a shado will make yu tired
3. run around like a chiken with its hed kut off
4. run av the mill=normal, averaej, kommon
5. run like a chiken with its hed kut off (round in serkels)
6. run like a skalded dog
7. run like a spotted ape
8. run like the hound av Hades is aft him
9. run like the wind
10. run the gauntlet=attaked from all sides
from old punishment...yu gotta run tween 2 lines av men hu hit yu
11. yu kan run but yu kant hide (klassikal)
12. yu kan run but yu kant hide sept along Afgan-Pakistan border
1697. run-down
1. for that run-down feeling, tri jae-walk
1698. Russya...
1. russya=home av the iron kertin
2. russya=riddel in a mistree inside an enigma (W. Churchil)
3. Rushya abolished God, but God is more tolerant
4. Yu R a re-akshunaree if yu objekt wen the state steel yer propertee
& murder yer famlee (W. Churchil)
top