lawsuits that tri tu get more warnings
1781. silly warning labels, krazy warnings, wakky warnings (on stuff yu bi)
1. akses holes oenlee...dont yuze tu lift
(holes in box at rite plaes & shape tu grab tu lift the box)
2. alwaes drive on roed, not on peepl (kar kommershal)
3. avoid dropping aer kondishuner out the windo
4. battery mae explore or leek
5. choking hazard. This toy is a rubber ball (rubber ball)
6. direkshuns: tare open & yuze (wet towel)
7. dont dangel mous bi its kabel or thro mous at ko-werkers (puter)
8. dont dri sell-fone in mikrowave
9. dont dri yer pet in mikrowave
silly warning
10. dont drive kar in oeshun (small print with ad that sho kar in oeshun)
11. dont drive or operate masheenery (Kids koff syrup)
[hae...get yer 5-yr old off mi fork lift]
12. dont drive with sunsheeld in plaes (kardbord thang tu keep sun outta kar)
13. dont drive with sunsheeld in plaes. remuve sunsheeld b4 starting ignishun
14. dont eet (small, lues pees av paper in box with steereo)
15. dont eet (odor eeters)
16. dont eet if seel is missing (stapeled tu rubber o-ring)
17. dont eet urinal kakes (Wiskonsin rest area)
18. dont eet toner (kartridj for printer)
19. dont feed kontents av this bottel tu fish (shampu)
silly warning
20. dont iron klothes wile yu weer em (lektrik iron)
b.dont iron klothes on body
21. dont konsume (treeted lumber at Home Depo)
22. dont leev kids unattended wile yu moe the gras (on lawn moer)
23. dont leev water running, tub mae overflo (hotel tub)
24. dont let kids plae in dishwasher
25. dont lite faes. Dont put in flames (sig liter)
26. dont open heer (bottom av koke bottel)
27. dont operate tredmill on bed or kouch
28. dont operate underwater (haer drier)
29. dont pore liquids intu yer TV set
silly warning
30. dont put in mouth (4th av july rokkets)
31. dont put lited kandels on fone
32. dont put NE person in this washer
33. dont put this produkt intu NE elektronik equipment (choklut "cd")
34. dont recharj, put in bakward, or yuze (battery)
35. dont remuve food produkts from blades while this devies is operating (blender)
36. dont remuve this label under penaltee av law (matress, pilloes, ets)
37. dont reyuze this bottel for liquid yu mae drink (liquid plummer)
38. dont sprae in elektrik outlet (garden hose nozzel)
39. dont sprae in ies (deodorant)
silly warning
40. dont sprae in ies (Windex)
41. dont swallo naels. mae kauz irratashun. (big hardware naels)
42. dont take if alerjik tu this (Zantak)
43. dont tern upside down (printed on bottom av box)
44. dont thro out baby with bath water (baby bath tub)
45. dont tri tu stop blade with yer hands (chaensaw)
46. dont tri tu swallo this (Mattres)
47. dont wash feet in urinal (Honolulu)
48. dont weld kan tu rim (fix-a-flat)
49. dont yuze as a ladder (12-inch hi box)
silly warning
50. dont yuze as baby wipes (furnicher kleener)
51. dont yuze as eer plugs (silly putty)
52. dont yuze as ies kreem topping (haer die)
53. dont yuze fone book wile operating a muving vehikel [wile yu drive kar]
54. dont yuze for personal hijeen (toilet brush)
[yu meen I kant brush mi teeth with that theer dang thang?]
55. dont yuze if yu kant see kleer & kant reed the info in the infomation pakket
(inside the "information pakket")
56. dont yuze in shower (haer drier)
57. dont yuze intimently (deoderant)
58. dont yuze massauj chaer nude. Dont foers NE body parts intu the rollers.
59. dont yuze neer power lines (toilet plunger)
silly warning
60. dont yuze on the ies (inside manual for heeted seet kushun)
61. dont yuze orally after rektally (body heet gage)
62. dont yuze neer fire, flame, or sparks ("aem-n-flame" tu lite fireplaes logs)
63. dont yuze orally (brush for tu kleen toilet)
64. dont yuze sno-throer on roof
65. dont yuze the silent feechuer in an emerjensee situation.
it wont put out a fire (smoke detekter)
66. dont yuze this for the driing av pets (mikrowave)
67. dont yuze this hammer tu hit NE objekt
68. dont yuze this product during erthquake (razer)
69. dont yuze wax as eer plug. Dont put was intu NE body kavity (kandels)
silly warning
70. dont yuze wile sleeping (haer drier)
71. dont yuze wile sleeping or unkonshus (hand mashauger)
72. door is alarmed 7pm-7am (Hospital outside door)
73. du not iron (on a lotto tikket)
74. eet rok mae leed tu broke teeth (on a novelty rok)
75. fit 1 hed (shower kap)
76. flame mae kauz fire (liter)
77. for animals oenlee (Kattel prod)
78. for best results, dont leev at krime seen (gluvs)
79. for best results, remuve kap (Nabisko cheez foem)
silly warning
80. for best results, start with kleen bathtub (bathtub kleener)
81. for external yuze oenlee (Kerling iron)
82. for indoor or outdoor oenlee (Kristmas lites)
83. for lifting purpuses oenlee (kar jak)
84. for yuze bi traened personnel oenlee (aer sprae)
85. fragjil, dont drop (B 757 aerplane)
86. front tuward enemy (military: Klaemore mine...it dont tell wich wae is front)
87. harmful if swalloed (piano)
88. hot drinks R hot (koffee kup)
89. hot water kan bern yu (water heeter)
silly warning
90. "If yu dont understand, or kant reed, all direkshuns,
kaushuns and warnings, dont use this produkt."
91. if yu kant reed or understand all instrukshuns,warnings,ets dont yuze this produkt (draen opener)
92. if yu swallo battery or get it stuk in yer ies or eer, kall dokter (Rae-o-vak batterees)
[didnt sae bout stuk in nose]
93. ignite awae from faes (Bik liter)
94. instrukshunal video on how tu hook up the VCR inkluded
[yu gotta get the VCR werking B4 yu kan get tu the video on
how tu hook up the VCR]
95. instrukshuns: put on food (Heinz katchup)
96. instrukshuns: yusage unnoed (kan av blak pepper)
97. look b4 yu drive (on dash av mael truk)
98. kant be made nonpoisonus (kan av windsheeld de-ieser)
99. kape dont enabel yu tu fli (batman kostume)
silly warning
100. kapasity: 1 (wetsuit)
101. kaushun: fire risk (pine mountin fire logs)
102. kaushun: never aem sprae at yer ies (pepper sprae)
103. kaushun: nonflamabel (fire putter-outter)
104. kaushun: this is not a life-saving devies (Beech ball)
105. keep outta reech av kids (baby oil)
106. keep outta reech av kids & teenaejers (aer sprae)
107. kontents hot (Dominoes pizza box)
108. kook this produkt b4 yu eet it (Swansun mikrowave dinner)
********** ladders...sum sampel warnings
1. dont set ladder on aer, underwater, or on unstabel surfus such as
cherch steepel or amuzement park ride [spoof warning]
2. dont yuze in front av unlokked door
3. gratest danjer is fall off ladder, but guvt wont let us tell yu bout that
4. never bouns, muve, or walk ladder wile onit
5. never drink & klimb. Alwaes hav designated klimer on hand (spoof)
6. theer is no such thang as "safe sex" on a ladder
7. tu be reel safe, hire independent kontrakter & get outta the wae (spoof)
8. yu gotta be in good fizikal kondishun tu yuze ladder
109. mae be harmful if swalloed (big box av hammers)
silly warning
110. mae kauz injury or deth (rifel)
111. mae irritate ies (kan av pepper sprae)
112. mae kontaen foem (Stridex foeming faes wash)
113. misyuze mae hert yu (rifel)
114. never need filter replaesment. Replaes filter evree 2-3 months (box with aer filter inside)
115. never yuze lited match or open flame tu chek fuel level
116. no stopping or standing (bus stop)
117. not dishwasher safe (TV remote)
118. not for internal yuze (mous for puter)
119. not for human konsumpshun (dies)
silly warning
120. not for human konsumpshun (dog food)
121. not for human konsumpshun (fish food)
122. not for human konsumpshun (rubber fishing werm)
123. not for wate kontrol (mints)
124. not intended for hiwae yuze (weel on a weelbarro)
125. not ment as substitute for human kompanyunship (koff drops)
126. not rekkomended for yuze as nut kraker (gun)
127. not suitabel for kids <=36 months (birthdae kard for 1-yr old)
128. not tu be yuzed as a persunal flotation devies (inflatabel pikchuer frame)
129. not tu be yuzed as a protekshun from tornado (blanket)
silly warning
130. not tu be yuzed for brest augumentation (fix-a-flat)
131. not tu be yuzed for the other yuze (food prosesser)
132. not tu be yuzed in the kommission av a felony (Panty hose)
133. paement due bi paement due date (Kredit Kard bill)
134. pleez keep outta kids (butcher nife)
b. dont put intu kids
135. press NE kee tu kontinue (standard puter message)
136. produkt will be hot after heeting (pakaejed food)
137. remember objekts in mirrer R behind yu (mirrer for tu attach tu motorsiekel helmet)
138. remuve baby b4 folding (stroller)
139. remuve occupants from stroler b4 yu fold it
silly warning
140. remuve wrapper, open mouth, insert, eet (junk food in 7-11)
141. remuve plastik b4 eeting (snak food)
142. resikeled flush water not safe tu drink (sine on toilet at stadium)
143. safe for karpets 2 (Woolite karpet kleener)
144. safe tu yuze round kids & pets, but dont let em drink the water
(toelet bowl kleener)
145. safe tu yuze round pets (kat litter)
146. serving suggesshun: defrost (Swan frozen dinner)
147. shin pads kant protekt NE part av the body em dont kuver
148. smoking kill (in Spaen)
In US the tubak lobby is so powerful, guvt stop NE werthwile warning on sigs
149. step 1: remuve plastik
(mikrowave food pakket, pakked so yu kant see werds til yu remuve the plastik)
silly warning
150. stepladder...maker hav ben sued so many times, em keep adding more warnings
TV nuz klaem tipikal ladder now hav 40 warning labels
151. stikkers require adult supervishun (baby potty)
152. suitabel for outdoor yuze (raen gage)
153. sum asselblee required (zigsaw puzzel)
154. tern off moter b4 yu yuze this (file for tu sharpen teeth on a chaensaw)
155. the applians is switched on bi tern the on/off switch tu the on posishun
156. the kontents av this jar shood not be fed tu fish (dog shampu)
157. thees eerplugs R nontoxik, but mae kauz problem if stuk in throet
158. theft av this kontaener is a krime (milk karton)
159. this floodlite is kapabel av liting a large area, even in the dark
silly warning
160. this ies mae be kold (slush puppy)
161. this is not a protektiv safety produkt (plastik toy helment)
162. this kamra will oenlee werk with film inside
163. this produkt is defined as nonflamabel bi Konsumer Produkts Safety Kommission regs.
But if yu tri hard nuff, yu kan make it bern (Enddust)
164. this produkt muve wen yuzed (skooter)
165. this produkt not intended for a dental drill (elektrik drill)
166. this produkt not tested on animals (bug killer from Australia)
167. this produkt not tu be yuzed in bathrooms (Holmes bathroom heeter)
168. this ride mae make yu sik (karnival ride)
169. tu get outta kar: open door, get out, lok doors, kloes door
silly warning
170. tuch thees wires is instant deth. NE-1 found duit
will be prosekuted tu full extent av the law (Raelroed stashun)
171. twist off top with hands. Thro awae top. Dont put top in mouth.
(botteled water)
172. Vakyuem kleener...dont yuze tu pik up gasoline or liter fluid
dont pik up NE-thang that is on fire
173. warning: dont klimb intu this bag & zip it up. du so will kauz injury or deth.
(plastik bag, 15cm bi 15cm (6 inch))
174. warning: dont yuze this if yu hav prostate problems (pills for PMS (wemen oenlee))
175. warning: has ben found tu kauz kanser in rats (rat poison)
176. warning: hi in sodium (box av salt)
177. warning: kontain fish (box av froze fish)
178. warning: kontents flamabel (liter fluid)
179. warning: kontents mae katch fire (matches)
silly warning
180. warning: mae kauz drowseeness (sleeping pills)
181. warning: mae kontain nuts (kan av peenuts)
182. warning: mae kontain small parts (frisbee)
183. warning: mae kontain traeses av nuts (Hershee almond bar)
184. warning: nifes R sharp (sharpening stone)
185. "Warning: Riders of personal waterkraft mae suffer injury due tu
forceful injection of water intu body cavities either bi
falling intu the water or while mounting the kraft." (jetske manual)
186. warning: this is not underweer. Dont put in pants (wristwatch)
187. warning: this produkt kan bern yer ies (Kerling iron)
188. warning: wen moter run, blades tern (lawnmoer)
189. weer this garment dont enabel yu tu fli (kid superman kostume)
[it reelee sed "the weering av this..."]
silly warning
190. yu kood be a winner. no purchase needed. detaels inside (bag av Freetos)
191. yuze like regular soep (Dial soep)
192. yuze under arms oenlee (deoderant)
******************* warning sines we dont hav
1. ever notis that alkohol drinks DONT hav NE warnings
2. Stella Liebek is suing McDonalds... hot koffee warning not big nuff
3. evolushun...chek yer lokal nuzpaper for latest on skuel bords that tri tu add
a warning label tu biology books that sae evolushun is a theere, not a fakt.
so far, evree judj rule ginst em.
4. Jon Barnzhof sued tu tri tu foers eeterees tu put up sines that sae food is addiktiv
or sae yu kan get fat bi eeting
him be a lawyer, hungree for legal fees
5. gravity...Ellery Schemp tried tu get plublishers tu add warning tu fisizks books...
"warning: gravity is oenlee a theere, not a fakt"
him faeled
6. Kalifornya state guvt tried tu foers eeterees tu add kanser warnings tu all food
that hav acrylamide. Problem is evreethang fried, baked, roested or toested hav it.
yes, that inklude bred & potatoes
(Kalifornya offis av environmental hazard assessment)
7. Milk...Dan Kinbern tried tu get warnings added tu milk ads
supposed tu protekt em hu R "laktose intolerant"
nonprofit org "physicians kommittee for responsabel medasin (PCRM)" pae for ads
aemed at "persons av koler". em klaem 75% av yu-all R nontolerant.
top