law, tipe 2=silly laws=krazy laws passed bi state or lokal guvts
blue law=state & lokal laws that prohibit evreethang under the sun on Sundae
dum laws, goofy laws, krazy laws, loony laws, strange laws
1. Alabama, not legal
next...Alaska
alligater: dont chaen it tu fire plug
be "in a substantially nude state" (1950 law)
bi peenuts after sundown
drive barefoot, drive blindfolded
ies-kreem kone in bak pokket (front pokket is ok)
maem self tu avoid duty
pretent tu be preest (paster, father)
salt raelroed & state mae hang yu
sedues chaest woman
stake a hoers tu a hiwae
weer fake mustash in cherch that make em laff
[I ges its legal tu giggel]
weer fawls mustach in cherch if it kauz em tu laff at yu
weer mask in publik
wrastel bares ("bears" in krat speek)
not on Sundae...hunt, plae dominoes
legal...insest
go rong wae on 1-wae street if yu hav lites on front av kar
nitwit...deevors: wemen keep evreethang em had wen wed, men dont
yu gotta: hav windsheeld wipers on kar (even if dont hav windsheeld)
*** Alabam...not legal
Anniston yu kant weer blue jeens on nobel street
Dekatur Slaves is still legal
Jasper if man beet wife with stik, kant be thikker than his thumb
Lee kountee Yu kant sell peenuts aft sundown on Wednesdae
Linden woman av "unshuer chasity" gotta get off the streets bi 9pm
Mobil howl at femaels
Montgomery open umbrella outside (it mite skare the hoerses)
2. Alaska, not legal :
next...Arazona
push live moos outta muving aerplaen (apparentlee ok if it is ded)
wake baer so yu kan take its pik
look out aerplane windo at a moos
wisper in eer wile moos hunting
legal...shuet baer
**** alaska not legal...
Anchorage dont tie a dog tu roof av kar
dont stretch a wire koss a hiwae
yu dont getta liv in a traeler wen it muve kross town
Faerbanks moos kant du sex on sitee street
yu dont getta tri tu liquer up a moos
Hains yu gotta get liesens tu karry a konseeled slingshot
its not legal tu tri tu brake a law
drunk bartender
Juneau yu kant bring a pet flamingo intu a barber shop
Nome Yu kant rome the streets with bo & arro
Soldotna banned..."atraktiv nuisans"
3. Arazona, not legal :
next...Arkansas
misdeemeener+red mask=felonee
donkee sleep in bathtub
hunt kamels
kut kaktus=25 yeers in jael
half legal:
beet wife...limit =1/month
if buglar or kriminal attakt yu, yu kan oenlee yuze
kriminal's weppon tu defend self
max dildos=2
legal...if sumwon ask for a glass av water, yu gotta giv it tu him
not on Sundae: take nude piks b4 12 noon
**** Arazona not legal:
Fenix in hotel, yu gotta take off yer spurs
Glendale yu kant yuze kar's revers geer
Globe yu kant plae kards with an indian in the street
Haeden bother kottontaels
Marikopa (Fenix) max av 6 girls in 1 hous
Mesa smoke sig in 15 ft av publik, sept legal if hav liquer lisens
Mohave kounty: if yu steel soep, yu gotta wash self & yuze up all the soep
Nogales suspenders
Preskot ride hoers up korthous staers
Toomstone wen yu smile, max av 1 missing tooth kan sho
Tueson wemen weer pants
4. Arkansas, not legal
next...Delaware
no alligaters in yer bath tub
Arkansas River gotta stae belo Maen Street Bridj in Littel Rok
dogs kant bark aft 6pm
flirt in publik & yukan gotu jael
nowon kan get in 50 ft av a door or windo av a vote plaes on lekshun dae
[dont sae how yu kan vote wen yu kant get neer the vote plaes]
sell blue litebulbs
half legal
man kan beet wife max av 1 time/month
Teecher hu bob her haer kannot get raes
vote: time limit=5 minuts
gotta...yu gotta pronouns it "ark-kun-saw"
**** Arkansas: sitees
Fayetvil yu kant kill "NE living kreecher" [swat fli not legal]
LittelRok dogs kant bark after 6pm
yu flirt= 30 daes in jael
yu kant toot the horn after 9pm at an eeteree
Sundae...if yu walk kow down maen street, gotta duit b4 1pm
kant take lion tu the muvees
state university: if 2 wanna hold hands in a door, gotta join yuenyun
5. Delaware, not legal :
next...Florida
"R" rated muvee at drive in
chaenj klothes in a kar
weer "firm fit" pants
half legal...if fli "over water" yu gotta take "sufficient supplies" (food & water)
**** Delaware: sitees
Lues weer "firm fit" around yer waest
Rehoboth Beech
wisper in cherch
chaenj klothes in a kar
chaenj klothes in a publik restroom or toilet
pretend tu sleep on a bench on the bordwalk
half legal:
girls 6+ yrs old must be dressed at all times
If halloween is on Sundae, gotta trik-or-treet on Saturdae
if niteklub serv alkohol, nowon kan dans
6. Florida, not legal :
next...Hawaii
State konstistushun forbid pregnant pigs tu be in a kage
Not legal:
blok a wagon roed
fall asleep with hed in haer drier
fuk a porkupine
kiss wife's brest
"kommit unnatural akts"
"korrupt publik morals"
livestok on skuel bus
men must not weer strapless gown
nonwed kant liv in same hous
oral sex
sell yer kids
shower naked (or nude???)
sing in publik in a swimsuit
tuch wife's brest(s)
not on Sundae
nonwed (& divorsed) wemen kant parashute on Sundae
half legal...publik bilding doors gotta open out
gotta get a lisens tu yuze a skate bord
if yu fart in publik, gotta duit after 6 pm
if yu tie elefant tu parking meter, yu gotta feed the meter
max kups yu kan brake is 3/dae
sex...mishunaree posishun oenlee
speshal...steel hoers=yu hang til ded
**** Florida Sitees
Big Pine dont molest the deer
Kape Koral hang up klothes outside
Datona Beech...all flower pots must hav a draen hole
dont molest trash kans
drunks dont getta swim
if yu hav trash or weeds in yer yard, we'll take em awae & charj yu for it
leev yer kar NE-weer in town
Hialea ambel or strol
sitee is a bird santuary...if yu tuch a bird, aeg, nest, ets, yu gotu jael
Kee West chickens R protekted
Miami man kant weer strapless gown
eet sumthang that hav garlik init
imitate an anamal
Legal...bike gotta hav a bell, kant hav a wistel, horn, siren
Palm bae pull a snosled behind a bike
Pensakola if yu hav < 10$ on yu, gotu jael
roll a barrel down NE street
if woman elektrokate self tu deth, sitee will fine her
Sanford nudity is banned on staej unless it is "bona fied", fine=100$
Sarasota krab
sing in a swimsuit
Satellite Beech yu kant weer liquid latex
Seeside all houses must hav a wite pikket fens & 2-storee porch
7. Hawaii, not legal :
next...Idaho
be in publik in swim trunks
billbords
put koin in eer
half legal...if yu want a monogoos, yu gotta get state let
if yu dont oen a boet, yu gotta pae a fine
8. Idaho, not legal
next...Illinois
fish wile yu R on the bak av an anamal
half legal...if yu giv sumwon a box av kandee, it gotta wae <= 50 pounds
not on Sundae...ride a merry-go-round
**** Idaho sitees
Boise fish wile on a giraff
Cour d'Arleen: if kop thank yu hanky-panky in a kar, him gotta:
park behind yu, honk 3 times, waet 2 minuts
Eegel yu kant sweep dirt outta hous intu street
Dont ride bike on tennis kort
Dont kamp on sidewalk
Pocatello if yu karry a konseeled wepon, it gotta be "exhibited tu publik vyu"
if yu go outside, yu gotta hav a smile on yer faes
9. Illinois: not legal :
next...Indiana
yu kant speek English [maby em meen British????]
"disgusting objekts" banned from plublik see
half legal...yu gotta hav 1$ on yu or be arrested as a "vagrant"
If yu eevs-drop on yer oen talk, yu kan gotu jael
yu gotta get kops' permit tu enter NE town bi kar
not on Sundae...raes hoers, bi kar
yu gotta...hav steering weel on kar
****Illinois sitees
DesPlaens if yu hav a weelbarro with sine, yu kant chaen it tu a tree
Evanston: bowl
trik-or-treet
half legal: chaenj klothes in a kar oenlee legal if kar is on fire
Freeport spit outta floor 2 windo
Galesberg hit a rat with baseball bat
Homer hav a slingshot, but kops kan
joliet mispronouns the sitee name=kost yu 5$
woman hu tri on > 6 dresses kan gotu jael
Karbondale Yu kant stand on sidewalk on 500 blok av Illinois Ave
Kirkland ban bees from fli down the street, or over town
Kreet, yu kant drive a kar thru town
dont fuk yer dog
Moline, yu kant ies skate in the lokal pond in June or August (legal in July)
Oblong, if yu go hunt or fish on wedding dae, yu kant du sex 2
Sisero, Not on Sundae: hum in publik
Shampaen dont pee intu sumwon's mouth
Shekago ("chicago" in krat speek)
anamal kant shoplift...1 monkee spended 5 daes in jael kauz av this
dont giv wiskee tu dogs
dont spit
eet in a plaes that is on fire
fish in pj's is forbid
fish wile on a giraff...banned
fli a kite (banned)
take poodel tu opera
yu kant be seed inpublik if yu R: dazeezed, maened, multilated, deformed, or unsitelee
half legal...If yu wanna du biz with sitee, yu gotta tell em evreethang
yu did with slaves
if yu wanna protest naked in front av sitee hall,
yu kan if yu R <17 & get sitee permit ahed av time
not on Sundae..."tippling hous" gotta kloes (1845 law)
1874 admend sae em gotta "kuver all doors & windoes"
werk on sundae defined as "disterb the pees"
Sissero, Not on Sundae...hum in publik
Urbana, monsters keep out
Winnetka Muvee manager kan kik yu out if yer feet R "odoriferious"
Zion, giv lited seegar tu a pet, dog, or kat
10. Indiana: not legal
next...Iowa
bak intu a parking spot=gotu jael
die a bird or rabbit
food store kant sell kold liquer [how kold is kold?]
get horny in publik
if a femael passanger in a kar dont hav sox & shues on,
driver kan be charjed with rape
liquer store kant sell koke [karbonated shugar water] or milk
liquer store kant sell milk [mu juis]
monkee smoke seegar=25$ fine (1 was konvikted in 1924)
pass a hoers on a street [maby legal if kross-kuntree]
plae kards...fine=3$
snif glu
"spiteful gossip"
take a bath tween October & March
waetress kant deliver drinks
yu kant bak intu a parking spot
yu kant drink from a bottel...gotta be a glass
yu kant take drink from bar tu a tabel
not on Sundae...sell a kar
half legal
if NE won pae yu for a puppet sho, fine=3$
kuss...fine is up tu 10$/dae [must keep a rekord av how many daes yu kussed]
plae kards: fine=3$
smoke in state legislate bilding, sept wen em R in seshun
tu get hipnotized require dokter sae so, sept:
if purpus is tu luze wate or quit smoking
Yu gotta...all males gotta werk 6 daes/yeer on state roeds
pi is defined tu be 3 (not 3.14159265358979323846)
hotel sheets must be 99 inch bi 81 inch
**** Indiana towns: not legal
Beech Grove: eet watermelon in the park
Elkhart barbers kant threten tu kut off kid's eers
Evansvil hav kar lites on on maen street
Gary, Ind be seed in publik in first 4 hrs after eet garlik
Munsee karry fish takkel in graveyard
South bend foers a munkee tu smoke
1 monkee was fined 25$ for smoking
Terre Ho dont spit on sidewalk
11. Iowa: not legal
next...Jorjya
man with mustach kant kiss woman in publik
half legal..
yu gotta pae stamp tax tu sell drugs
if yu pik hops, yu gotta put it intu box exaktlee 36 inches long
kiss, time limit=5 minuts
1-armed piano plaers gotta duit free
**** Iowa sitees
Aems if man & woman in bed, man kan drink max av 3 gulps av beer
Bettendorf liquer store kant put beer ad outside stoor
Dubuk, Iowa hotels gotta hav water bukket & hitch post
Fort Madison In kase av fire, fire fiters gotta praktis 15 minuts B4 em go tu fite fire
Korning man mae not ask wife tu ride with him in a kar
not legal...talk tu NE-1 on street or sidewalk
Marshaltown hoers eet a fire plug
Mount Vernon: If yu wanna thro briks on hiwae, gotta get Sitee Kounsil tu ok it
dont pik flowers in sitee park
Ottumwa, Iowa:male kant wink at femael unless him no her
Sedar Rapids no palm reeders
12. Jorjya: not legal :
next...Kalifornya
barber kant advertize hi pries
donkee in bathtub
if yu handkuf sumwon in a klown suit, that is "sadomasochistik abues"
kuss in presens av a "ded body"
"promote" a private lottery
sae "o boy"
sex toys
slap sumwon on the bak
tell (or repeet) a fawls rumer
not on Sundae...hav ies kreem in bak pokket
hot nu blue law (11 Jan 2007) No store kan sell meet on a Fridae in Lent
stores kant sell alkohol, but many xsepshun:sports, hotels, festivals, ets
food stores kan sell alkohol
half legal
nonprofit kan hav a raffel. All others gotta get permit from lokal sherrif
all sines gotta be in English
lottery is a state monopoly
legal...kops kant tiket for speeding: state legislaturers
**** Jorjya not legal
Akwerth evreewon gotta hav a rake
Athens Adult bookstore kant sell alkohol
at kountee faer, not leegal tu make a "disturbing" sound
beer: kant hav a 2-for-1 sale
if yer mule wander around, yu gotta "supervise" it
if yu wanna reed a book in publik, gotta duit b4 2:45 am
[tween midnite & 0245]
yu gotta get sitee permit tu hav a going-outta-Biz sale
yu kant giv awae a goldfish at a bingo game
Not on Sundae: if yu wistel 2 loud, yu gotta duit B4 11 pm
Atlanta tie giraff tu street lite
yu kant karry sumwon piggy-bak
If yu put klothes on a dummy, gotta hide from publik
Dublin drive thru a plaeground
Gaensvil yu gotta eet chicken with hands, kant yuze NE "implements"
Jonesboro, sae "O Boy"
Kennesaw evree adult mael gotta hav a "firearm"
Kolumbus not on Sundae...kut off chicken hed
sit on porch in "nondesent" posishun
karry a chicken down brodwae
Konyers put a ded bird on NE-1s lawn
Marietta spit from a kar, but kan from a truk
Pocatalingo...woman is >=200 pounds & weer shorts, her kant fli an aerplane
Quitman not legal...for a chicken tu kross the roed
St Mary yu kant spit on sidewalk after dark
13. Kalifornya: not legal :
next...Kansas
animals dont getta fuk in 1500 ft av a bar, cherch, or skuel
bathhouses banned
peel an orange in a hotel room (maby on the balkonee?)
trip a hoers for fun [if yer seereeus, must be legal]
wiggel wile yu dans (1925 law)
woman in houskoet must not drive a kar
legal...sunshine is "garanteed" (law sae so)
half legal
If nowon drive yer kar, gotta stae under 60 MPH
if yu wanna set a mous trap, yu gotta get a hunting lisens
part list av animals yu kant keep as a pet...elefant, sloth, snael
nitwit...skuels gotta protekt boys hu weer skirts from "harrasment"
**** Kalifornya sitees
Alhambra yu gotta get sitee let tu park kar on street
Arkadia peekoks hav rite-av-wae in streets & drivewaes
Baldwin ride bike in swim pool
Belveder "no dog shal be in publik without its master on leesh"
Berkelee wistel for a kanary b4 7am
Blieth weer kowboy boots, yu must hav 2+kows
Bonsal not on sundae...reed paper in rokking chaer on front porch will cherch hav servis
Burlingame If yu spit, yu gotta spit on a baseball diamond
Chico if yu splode an A-bomb, fine=500$
Yu gotta get sitee permit tu thro hae in sesspool
hav smellee animal hide
boll on sidewalk
drive kows down a street
Downee wash a kar on the street
ElMonte If yer hoers fall alseep in a bathtub, yu gotta sleep with it
Gardeenia If wife wanna chu tubak, her gotta ask hubby first
Hemet if yu R in a kar akseedent that kill sumwon, yu gotta
giv yer name tu the ded man
Hesperia if yu wanna duel, then select water pisto as the weppon, duel is kanseled
Holywood yu kan drive max av 2000 sheep down holywood blvd
Ingelwood man kant wink at woman
Karmel eet ies Kreem on a sidewalk (put it in a bowl first)
(wile Klent Eestwood was maer, him got it suspended, but he's not NE-more)
Kathedral Sitee...sleep in a kar
dont bring yer dog tu skuel
Kompton dans cheek-tu-cheek
Kovina if wife kik out husband tu rent his room, her kant klaem he deserted her
Kupertino kount bakward in hexadesamal
Lompok hav a rooster
Long Beech oenlee thang yu kan put in a garage is a kar
Los Angels max av 1 baby in wash tub
man kan beet wife with lether belt, but max width=2 inch
but wife kan ask for wider belt
witness in kort dont getta kri
yu kant mael a letter that komplaen bout a hotel
legal...speed limit=10MPH
Ontario roosters kant kro (dont sae wot em du if guvt katch 1 duit)
Palo Alto skatebord on a vertikal surfus
Pasadena sekratary be alone with boss
Pasifik Grove molest butterfli kost yu 500$
Pomona "no person shall hallo, shout, braw, skreem, profane, dans
sing, whoop, quarrel, make unusual nois"
Prunedale max av 1 bathtub per hous
Rosemeed eet ies-kreem with a fork
San Fransisko wipe eer with underweer
legal...prostitutes dont hafta chaenj a 100$ bill
not on Sundae: saloons must kloes (11 Nov 1881 law)
Santa Anna hoers kant sleep in a bake shop
Serritos if dog shit in yer yard, yu hav 7 daes tu kleen up the mess.
Temecula duks hav the rite av wae
14. Kansas: not legal :
next...Kentuky
herd buffalo down a street
katch fish with yer hands (with teeth is legal)
shuet rabbits from a motor boet (saelboet is legal)
half legal...
if yu walk kross hiwae on foot at nite, gotta weer tael-lite
if yu hunt duks, yu kant yuze a mule
not on Sundae...kant add ies-kreem tu cheree pie
not legit tu eet snakes
**** Kansas sitees
Derby wed on skatebord or in skating area
hit a vending masheen that did not deliver
pee ginst side av bilding
ride NE anamal on rode
"skreech" yer tires wen yu drive in sitee
Dodge Sitee: dont spit on sidewalk
Halsted loud burp at airpot...not legit
Lang if yu ride mule down maen street in August, mule gotta weer straw hat
Lawrens hav bee in yer hat
if yu kum bi kar, gotta honk horn at sitee limit (tu warn hoerses)
McLou wash fawls teeth in fountin
Natoma thro nife a sumwon hu weer striped shirt
Overland park: yu kant pikket a funeral
Russel musikal kar horn banned
Salina yu kant leev kar with engin running
Topeka bathtubs
drive kar thru a parade
Wichita at Douglas & Brodwae...yu gotta fire 3 shots in the aer
if man mistreet mother-n-law, wife kant divors him
15. Kentuky: not legal
next...Kolorado
all bees that enter Kentuk gotta hav helth sertifakut
female in bathing suit gotta hav 2 mael kops tu eskort her in publik
unless her karry a klub
later admended tu xempt if her wae < 50 pounds or > 200 pounds
& female hoers also xempt
ies-kreem kone in pokket
if yu burgel a hous, gotta duit at nite, law sae so
kant fish with bo & arro
kant fire a gun that is not loeded
thro aegs at speeker & yu mae gotu jael for 1 yeer
half legal
If yu die a duk blue & sale it, yu gotta sell at leest 6
if yu fish in Ohio River on kentuk side, yu gotta hav Indiana fish lisens
yu kan remarry same man max of 3 times
legal...wife kan put kaster oil in hubby's buez
yu gotta...take a bath evree yeer
nitwit...define drunk=kant "hold onto the ground"
**** Kentuky sitees
Frankfort shuet tie off a kop
For Thomas dogs dont getta molest kars
Lexington hav ies-kreem kone in yer pokket
if yu drink, yer legally sober til yu kant "hold ontu tu ground"
Owensboro woman gotta get hubby's let tu bi a hat
16. Kolorado: not legal :
next...Konnektikut
"multilate" a rok [wot cha gonna du bout the CU on the flatirons?]
food store kan sell beer up tu 3.2% alkohol
liquer store kant sell food
kant ride hoers wen yer drunk
thro shues at a wedding
not on Sundae...kar deeler kant sho a kar
nowon kan sell liquer on Sundae or lekshun dae
half legal
if yu serv food in a room, yu kant yuze the room for NE-thang els (bar for xampel)
yu kan hav hoers or muel inside hous on floor 1, but not floor 2+
legal...yu kan rip off the "du not remuev" tags from pilloes
**** Kolorado sitees
Alamosa, thro "missels" at a kar
let non-wed fuk in yer hous
Arvada If yu sell alkohol, yu gotta suppli nuff lite so folks kan reed text
Aspen If yu hav a katapult, yu kant fire it in Aspen
Bolder If yu hav a bolder, dont it on Bolder propertee
If yu hav a llama, dont let it eet sitee grass
yu kant put a kouch on a porch
Denver yu kant lend yer vakyuem kleener [tu NE-1]
dog katcher gotta post sine in publik park 3 daes in a roe
tu tell dogs em mite get katched
drive a blak kar on Sundae
mistreet rats (wot bout 2-legged kind?)
Durango weer "unbekumming" klothes
swim during the dae
Kolo Springs...yu kan weer gun most daes, but not on holidae or Sundae
Krippel Kreek yu kan bring in hoers & muels intu hous, floor 1 oenlee
Logan kountee dont kiss a sleeping woman
Pueblo dandelions outlawed
Sterling if yu walk a kat at nite, gotta hav reflekter on kat's tael
17. Konnektikut: not legal
next...Luisiana
lokal guvts kant store guvt rekords in bar
bi liquer after (noon on sundae or 9pm on sundaes) [go figger]
fire a gun on a hiwae (assume...wen yu R on a hiwae)
razer blade...yu kant thro awae it, or trash it, or destroy it
half legal...oenlee blind kan hav a wite kane
bike speed limit=65MPH
nitwit...pikkels gotta bouns
yu gotta...if yu dont gotu cherch for 3 months, state will fine yu
"tavern keepers, retaelers, inkeepers, will prevent any resident av
theer township from kumming tu theer establishment on Sundae"
"anywon in a cherch behaves improperly will pae fine=5-40 shillings"
"the tithingmen will stop travelers and inquire the reesun wi em travel
on Sundae. NE-1 hu refuze tu anser pae fine av 5 pounds sterling"
(passed 8 Mar 1792)
**** Konnektikut sitees...NOT legal
Atwoodvil plae Skrambel wile waet for politikal speech
Devon walk bakward after sunset & yu gotu jael
Gilford Kristmass lites gotta be wite
Hartfort walk kross street on yer hands
teech yer dog
not on Sundae...kiss wife
Nu Britian speed limit for fire truks=25MPH
Rokky Hill amuzement arkade limited tu 4 devieses
Waterbury Byutishun kant hum, wistel, or sing at werk
18. Luisiana: not legal :
next...Maen
advertise that yu du aborshun=1 yeer in jael
barber kut haer...max pries for bald man=25 sents
bern...if yu get berned, yu gotta tell the fire marshal
bite sumwon=assault, if yu yuze fawls teeth, its "aggravated assault"
boxing match...yu kant mok the boxers
dare sumwon tu go ontu the raelroed traks, sept if him oen the traks
fake restel match not legit
gargel in publik
pee in a water supply=20 yeers in jael
Pizza deliver: it yu tell em tu deliver it elsweer, yu gotta
tell that persun b4 it get theer.
prisuner hu hert self=2 more yeers in prisun
promis sumthang & dont=1 yeer in jael
rob bank: not legal tu squirt kasheer with water gun
shuet lazer gun at kops
steel alligater=10 yeers in jael
steel krawfish...kant figger out wot law sae
**** Luisiana sitees
Jefferson if miner go intu biz with koin-operated football masheen, gotta bring adult eskort
at drive-in muvee, dont pore yer drink on the lot
Lake Charles...hav raen puddel stae in yard 12+ ours
nu Orleens tie alligater tu fire plug
half legal...if woman drive a kar, man gotta go in front & wave flag
legal...Fire truk gotta stop at all red lites
19. Maen: not legal :
next...Maryland
not legal:
kops kant arrest a ded body
if guvt see yer Christmas stuff after 14 January, it fine yu
yu kant step outta aerplaen wile it fli up in the ski
walk street with shue-strings not tied
half legal...if yu win at gambel, max yu kan win=3$
yu gotta...take shotgun tu cherch in kase av indian attak
If yu walk on maen street, gotta tie yer shues
**** Main or maen sitees
Augusta plae violin wile yu walk down street is forbid
Biddeford Dont gambel at the aerport (fli plane is not gambel)
Dont roller skate on sidewalk
Ellswerth if NE part av sine law konflikt with federal law, lokal law overrule
Freeport sell a merkery thermometer
Portland tikkel girl under chin with fether duster
Rumford renter kant bite landlord
South Berwik: Dont park next nkin Donuts
Watervil blo yer nose in publik
Wells Dont put ads in the graveyard
20. Maryland: not legal :
next...Massachuetses
oral sex (both giver & givee)
if yu bowl, fine=2$ (for evree time sins 1833)
mistreet oeschers (klams)
take a lion tu the theater
thistels in yer yard=fine
tu plae the song "littel peepl"
yu gotta...fri hambergers well dun (kustumer kan sine a waever for rare berger)
**** Maryland not legal...
Baltimore kleen sink
mistreet oyster
sell chik or dukling tu a miner in 1 week av eester
take lion tu muvee
thro bales av hae outta floor 2 windo (floor 3 is legal)
Tramp or "vagrant"...yu dont getta loiter in sitee park
weer sleevless shirt in sitee park
Kolombia kant du: outside TV antena, but yu kan hav a 25 ft sat dish
half legal...yu kant hav a kloesline, but kan dri klothes on fens
Kumberland dont sweer on a plaeground
thro rok intu park
Oshen Sittee...men kant go topless (I ges wemen kan)
eet in the oshen
Rokville Dont sweer on a hiwae (pull off ontu the sholder)
Dont swim in a fountin
remuve a publik bilding
21. Massachuetses: not legal
next...Michigan
alkohol: if yu sell drinks, yu kant hav a sale or diskounts
ball game: yell at plaer or referees not legal
giv beer tu hospital paeshent
banned..."alkoholik drink speshalists"
banned...boxing (if publik)
banned...kommees
banned...Quakers & witches
bilding werkers kant yuze stilts
bullets: yu kant yuze bullet as munee
defaes milk karton
gorilla: not in the bak seet av a kar (front seet is ok)
gotu wake: max av eet 3 sandwiches
hert a football goel post
kandee: max av 1% alkohol
klam chowder: yu kant put tomatoes init
sex...woman gotta stae on bottom
shave wile yu drive
shuet at target shaped like a human
tattoo not legal [dif soers sed this dont appli NE-more]
taxi driver kant fuk passenger in front seet wile on duty
yu kant drive indian or Mex kows on a publik roed
not on Sundae...yu kant hunt with the rifel yu took tu cherch
food stores gotta kloes on thanksgiving & christmas, but
"konveenyens" stores kan be open & sell food.
stores kan sell alkohol after noon (old law banned all)
half legal
goetee: yu gotta get lisens if yu go out in publik
if yu keep a mule on floor 2, yu gotta hav 2 exits (front & reer)
if yu sell alkoholik drinks, yu kant hav a sale
kids kan smoke, but kant bi sigs
snore: yu gotta kloes & lok yer windo
wake: if yu eet sandwich at a wake, limit=3
old law... yu gotta take a rifel tu cherch (for indian attack?)
Yu gotta: bed...if yu gotu bed, yu gotta take a bath first
nitwit...Mass outlawed Kristmass in 1659 (never revolked)
**** Mass sitees
Boston not legal...plae a fiddel
frog jump kontest not legal in nite klubs
kiss in front av a cherch
walkers hav rite-av-wae over kars
half legal...
if yer on Boston Kommons, yu kant hav a shotgun
indians in Boston gotta be eskorted bi "musketeers"
max av 2 baths/month
max av 3 dogs
yu gotta hav dokter's sae-so tu take a bath
not on Sundae...displae affekshun in publik (kant kiss)
take a bath
yu kan graze sheep & goets on kommons, but not on Sundae
yu kan duel on kommons on Sundae if Guvner watch
hingham kolored lites that kan be seed on maen street
if yu liv on maen street, historikal sosiety gotta preapruev
koler av NE paent yu yuze
Kambridj shake karpet in the street
long Meddo karry a bathtub kross the kommons
Marlboro squirt gun, silly string
max av 2 dogs
xplode an A-bomb inside sitee
Millford look in windo av a kar
North Andover "spaes gun"
Nuton legal...maer gotta giv evree famlee 1 pig
Salem nude in a rented room (such as motel)
22. Mishigan: not legal :
(michigan in krat speek)
next...Minnasota
adultree, but oenlee if wife or husband komplaen
dont kuss in front av kids and/or wemen
drunk on a traen
radio: if yu bust yer radio, yu kan gotu jael
sedues nonwed girl=5 yeers in jael
not on Sundae...sell a kar
legal...last Sundae in June is Log Kabin Dae
3 sent bounty for starling, 10 sents for a kro
10 sents for a rat
dentist defined bi state law tu be a "mekanik"
half-legal...gotta be 12 tu get lisens tu hav a gun
& yu kant be in jael at the time
wife gotta get hubby's let tu kut her haer
wife's haer belong tu hubby
woman hu walk thru puddel kan raes her skirt max av 6 inch
yu gotta...man & wife gotta liv tugether or gotu jael
nitwit...if buglar get hert, him kan su yu
**** Mishigan sitees
Detroit yu kant destroy a radio
"ogel" from a muving kar
tie alligater tu fire plug
not on Sundae...man frown at wife
half legal...If yu fuk in a kar, yu gotta park it on yer "property"
if yer pig run free, it gotta hav ring in nose
Elmira a "fleshy woman" kant ride tu cherch on a hoers
Grand Haven...if yu thro a hoop skirt on sidewalk or street, fine=5$
Harper Woods sell sparro as a parakeet
Kalamazu males kant seranade
Klawsun legal...sleep with yer pigs, hoerses, kows, ets
Port Huron Ambulans speed limit=20MPH
Rochester half legal...
swimsuits...if yu weer 1 in publik, the cheef kop gotta inspekt it
Waeland if yu keep yer kow downtown, gotta pae rent=3sents/dae
23. Minnasota: not legal :
next...Mississippi
Mosquitoes (deklared a publik nuesans)
bathtubs must hav feet
enter the state with a duk on yer hed
if woman pretend tu be Santa, gotu jael 30 daes
oral sex
sleep naked
tees skunks
leev the state with a chicken on yer hed
half legal
if yu stand neer a bilding, yu gotta suppli a good reesun wi
if yu ride a motorsiekel, yu gotta weer a shirt (dont appli tu femaels)
**** Minnasota sitees
Braenerd all men gotta gro a beeard
Hibbing if kop see a kat, him gotta kill it
Kottage Grove: dont land an aerplane in sitee park
Minneapolis yu kant drive red kar on Lake street
if yu dubel park, kan end up on chaen-gang
Minnetonka drive a truk with dirty tires
Pine Iland if yu pass a kow, yu gotta tip yer hat
St Kloud not on Sundae...eet a hamberger
Virjinya park elefant on maen street
24. Mississippi: not legal :
next...Mazera
bribe an athlek or rig a game
get horny in publik
If yu hav a kid outta wedlok, gotu jael 1 month
"profane lingo"=100$
promis tu marry & dont duit
rusel kattel=yu hang
tell sumwon wot polygamy is
"unnatural sex"=10 yeers+10,000$
vagrant=30 daes in jael
half legal...
hoers: if yu "hous" a hoers, it gotta be 50+ feet from all roeds
legal...yu kan arrest sumwon hu disterb servis in a cherch
yu kan kill yer servants
**** Mississippi sitees
Hazelherst karry fish down the street
Kanton kill squirrel with gun in a kortroom
Kolumbus nitwit...fine for wave a gun is more than fine tu shuet sumwon
Meridan roll safe down street on its weels
Natches elefants drink beer
Oxford drive around town square > 100 times
drive on the town square [maby that meen on the grass???]
honk horn
shave on maen street
Ridjland publik sex
half legal: buglar bars must not be seeabel from the street
Tylertown: shave in the senter av maen street (maby the sidewalk is better)
25. Mazera: not legal :
(missouri in krat speek)
next...Montana
drive with baer in the kar
oral sex
half legal...singel men gotta pae tax=1$/yeer
man gotta get state permit tu shave
legal...drunk
NE town kan hav a tax tu support the band provided:
maer plae the pikkolo & all band members eet pees with a nife
yu gotta: men 21-50 gotta pae tax av 1$/yeer
**** Missouri sitees
Bukner not on Sundae...bern trash
Kansas sitee...teens kant bi kap pisto, but kan bi shotgun
bathtubs kant hav legs dezined tu look like animal foot
Kolumbia no TV antenna. Legal: dish antenna
half legal: yu kant dri klothes on a line, yu kan on a fens
Market max av 4 persons kan liv in a hous
Merryvil wemen kant weer a korset
Mole skare a baby
Natches giv beer tu a elefant
Purdy dans
St Luis kant sit on kerb & drink beer from a bukket
milk man kant run wile him deliver milk
off duty fireman kant reskue woman in nitegown
Sako wemen kant weer hat that mite skare kids, anamals, or the timid
Yuniversal Sitee: yu kant hav a yard sale in yer front yard
if wemen share apartment, max number=4 wemen
26. Montana: not legal :
next...Nebraska
muvee kant sho a krime
pretend tu "abuse" an animal
wife kant open husband's mael, it make her a felon
singel woman kant fish alone [gotta hav an "eskort"]
Legal: 7+ indians=war partee, shuet at will
half legal
If yu hav sheep in kab av truk, yu gotta hav a shaperoen
not on Sundae...wed woman kant fish alone
**** Montana sitees
Billings yu kant raes pet rats
band members gotta stae on stage if the joint serv alkohol
dont take bombs or rokkets tu sitee kounsil meet
banned: speed dial fone
Boseman sex in front yard if both R nude [put on sum sox]
Helena thro NE-thang akross a street
annoi sidewalk folks with water sprinkler
if a woman dans on a tabel in a bar, her gotta weer >=3 pounds av klothes
Kalispell all pool tabels must be seeabel from the street
Salsbury thro pop bottel on ground
Witehall drive kar with ies-piks attached tu weels
27. Nebraska: not legal :
next...Nevada
parent kan be arrested if the kid burp in cherch
fish for wales
fli plane wen drunk
if a kid burp in cherch, em kan arrest the parents
half legal...bar kan sell beer if it hav suep kooking on stove at same time
mother gotta get state lesens tu giv dotter a perm
old law (1921)kar driver at nite gotta shuet up a rokket, waet 6 minuts b4 go
wen go, gotta blo horn all the time & shuet flares
**** Nebraska not legal...
Haestings sleep nude
if kupel du sex, em gotta weer wite kotton nitegown
Leehi sell donut holes
Linkoln: Not on Sundae...baseball (1890 law), dans (1901)
Omaha sneez or burb in cherch
barber kant shave yer chest
half legal...if man shave chest, kant go outside
Waterlu barbers kant eet onyuns tween 7am & 7pm
28. Nevada: not legal :
next...Nu Hampshire
drive a kamel on a hiwae [kross-kuntree is ok]
legal...if yu see sumwon shuet yer dog on yer propertee, yu kan hang em
half legal: yu kan bi drink for max av 3 others in 1 dae
**** Nevada sitees
Elko yu gotta: NE-1 hu walk on the street gotta weer a mask
Klark Kountee...half legal: tu bring in konseeled weppon, yu gotta
register with Vegas kops.
Reno yu kant lae on the sidewalk
yu kant put a bench in the middel av a street
plae with sex toy=gotu jael
Vegas In Aug 06, Vegas make it nonlegal tu sleep in 500 ft av shit or pee
it dont sae nuthan bout outhous or toilet.
This impli if yu hav bathroom in yer hous, yu gotta find emptee kuntree.
pawn yer fawls teeth=gotu jael
Yureeka half legal...if man hav mustash, kant kiss a woman (kan kiss a man)
29. Nu Hampshire: not legal :
next...Nu Jersee
in eeteeree or bar: yu kant tap or nod in tune tu muzik
see-weed on beech...yu kant tuch it
sell the klothes yu weer tu pae off gambel debt
sine in tu hotel with rong name, nik name, pen name, staej name
not on Sundae...run masheens [maby yu kan walk a masheen]
if yu gotu bathroom, not legit tu look up
half legal...kattel that kross the rode gotta weer diapers
**** Nu Hampshire not legal
Klaremont graveyard:yu kant be theer at nite, be drunk, eet NE-thang
nowon < 10 yrs old kan be in a graveyard
Wite Mount Nashunal Forest
forbid: pik up trash or kleen NE-thang, fine=150$
30. Nu Jersee: not legal :
next...Nu Mexiko
delae a homing pidjen wile it fli
frown at a kop
kar kant pass "hoers-drawed-karraej" on street
yu kan pass on the interstate
park under a bridj
put gas in yer kar
raes chickens in a bottel
sell handkuffs tu miners [tu farmers is ok]
slerp yer suep
not on Sundae...kar deelers kant open
stores kant sell kabbage, klothes, applianses, furnicher
kan sell boets, hardware, anti-ques, jues
half legal
if yu murder sumwon, its not legal tu weer bulletpruef vest at same time
if yu pass on hiwae, yu gotta warn em yer gonna (dont sae HOW yu warn em)
if yu R konvikted av drunk-driving, yu kant get a "persunalized" kar plate
if yu sell sprae paent, yu gotta sho sine tu warn em bout grafeetee
in emerjensee, yu gotta get off the fone...giv it tu the emerjer
man kant nit during fish seesun (woman kan)
yu gotta honk b4 yu pass a kar, bike, skater, skate bord
but not tu pass a truk or bus (or ship) [no werd bout turtels]
*** Nu Jersee sitees
Barker nok on a door or ring the bell (thro roks insted)
Bernard frown
Blaerstown shoot raenj
thro ashes on sidewalk
if yu hav trees, em must not "hide aer"
Elizabeth not on Sundae...if woman walk on Brod street, her gotta hav a pettikoet
Kresskill kats must weer 3 bells
Mansvil offer sigs or wiskee tu animals in the zu
Newark if yu wanna bi ies-kreen after 6pm, gotta hav a note from a dokter
Oshyun sittee...sell raw hamberger=gotu jael
slurp suep
not on Sundae...plae pinball
See Iel not legal...boil bones
Trenton thro pikkel in street
not on Sundae...eet pikkel
31. Nu Mexiko: not legal :
next...Nu York
idiots kant vote [that eliminate 90%]
state brass edited "Romeo & Julleeet" tu remuev "sex explisit" stuff
**** Nu Mexiko sitees
Deming dont spit on steps tu opera hous
hunt wild game in the graveyard
Karizozo femael gotta shave b4 go out in publik
Karlsbad banned...Merriam-webster dikshunaree
sex in kar is legal provided yu kuver windoes so nowon see it
Las Cruses half legal...if yu R on maen street, yu kant hav a lunchbox
Quemado Nuzpaper mispell sumwon's name & guvt kan fine it
Raton woman kant weer kimono wile ride hoers [ride kamel must be legit]
32. Nu York: not legal
next...North Dakota
Blind kant drive kar
dont thro ball at NE-1's hed for fun (if its not fun, its legal)
dri klothes: gotta get lisens tu put klothes on a line.
flirt...25$ fine
if yu "look at a woman that wae"...fine=25$
jump off a bilding, the law will kill yu
kids kant pik up or kollekt sig butts
no smoking in 100 ft av publik bilding
put thumb on nose & wiggel fingers
shoot rabbit from muving trolly kar
weer slippers after 10 pm
half legal...
if yu want tu put kloeths on yer kloesline, yu gotta get a lisens
if yu wanna deevors for "nonrekonsildabel differenses", yu gotta agree tuit
in elevater, yu kant talk, yu gotta faes the door
woman kan go topless unless purpus is tu drum up Biz.
not on Sundae...hav ies-kreem kone in pokket
sell meet (1901 law)
*** Nu York sitees
Glovervil wemen restlers
Green at a konsert, not legal tu eet peenuts & walk bakward on sidewalk
Karmel yer pants & koet gotta match
kant eet ies-kreem wile stand on sidewalk [sit down it]
wemen kant weer hi heels [men kan]
Nu York Sitee: put thumb on nose & wiggel fingers
if yu tern around & look at woman...25$
2nd time: yu gotta weer hoers blinders
kant smoke in 100ft av entrans tu publik bilding
walk & reed at same time
wemen kan go topless provided nowon pae em
woman kant weer "body-hug" klothes on the street [maby on the subwae]
legal...wemen kan be topless on subwae, but kant smoke
not on Sundae...Liquor: nu law (Mae 03) insted av gotta kloes on Sundae
now em gotta kloes 1 dae evree week
Oeshun Sitee: eet & swim at same time
men kant be topless [apparentlee wemen kan]
slurp suep
half legal...on the beech, oenlee liquid yu kan drink=
water from kleer plastik bottel
Staton Ieland: father kant kall sun a "faggot"
if yu water with a hose, gotta hold it in yer hand
(yu kant lae it down, or attach a sprinkler)
Walden half legal...yu gotta get a permit tu giv sumwon a drink av water
33. North Dakota: not legal
next...North Karolina
bar or eeteeree: kant serv beer and pretzels
sleep with yer shues on
weer shues in bed
half legal...if yu R in a kuvered waggon, yu kan shuet an indian
**** North Dakota sitees
Fargo if yu weer a hat at a funkshun weer sumwon mae dans, gotu jael
man kant smoke in front av a woman
34. North Karolina: not legal :
next...Ohio
bingo...max time=5 ours unless its a faer
bingo...yu kant sell alkohol
elefant kant plow kotton feeld (peenuts feeld is ok)
hav lottery tikket kost yu 2000$
if yu hav NE-thang nonlegal, yu gotta pae the nonlegal tax
no sex in cherchyard
oral sex
sing off kee
half legal...
"amatuer" forchun tell...gotta get lisens
& oenlee legal it in cherch or skuel
if man & woman register at hotel as wed, em R
org meet: nowon kan weer a kostume
sex...if yu kant duit, wedding is void
sex...mishunaree oenlee & yu gotta hide
nitwit...all hotel rooms gotta hav 2 dubel beds & >= 2 ft apart
& not legal tu sleep on the floor
**** North Karolina sitees
Ashvil sneez in publik
Barber Kats & dogs R forbid tu fite
Chapel Hill pee weer NE-1 kan see yu duit
Charlot Wemen must weer >=16 yards av kloth "at all times"
Dun drive thru graveyard for fun [if not fun, then go ahed]
Forest Sitte if yu wanna enter bi kar, yu gotta fone ahed & giv em time tu prep
Greensboro if a eeteree let yu eet on sidewalk, it gotta post a menu
so yu kan reed it from sidewalk but not from street
Hornytown massaug parlers
Kill Devil Hills: if yu ride a bike, gotta keep both hands on bars at all times
Rokky Mount yer dog is propertee, so yu gotta pae hous tax on it
Sharlot wemen must weer at leest 16 yards av kloth (on 1 woman)
35. Ohio: not legal :
next...Oklahoma
dont duel
dont mistreet NE-thang portant
if yu get a fish drunk, lawman kum get yu
mule...not legal tu set mule afire
on Dekorashun Dae, if yu plae hoersshues in 1 mile av speech, fine=25$
wemen kant brest feed baby (let papa tri)
wemen kant weer paten lether shues
not on Sundae...{fish or hunt} for waels
half legal...if yu wanna keep a bare, gotta get state lisens
drive kar..tu pass, yu gotta honk
max av 5 wemen kan liv in 1 hous
nitwit...State kant arrest NE-1 on Sundae or 4 July
if yu hav a tiger & it xkape, yu gotta tell guvt
**** Ohio...not legal
Akron sine at swim pool not legal
tri tu sell kolered chickens
tri tu solisit sex if other persun is ofended
Bae Villaej yu kant walk a kow down lake roed
Bexlee no slot masheen in out-hous
Daeton Oenlee men kan be bellhops
Eestlake dont molest dogs
Euclid ban all "suspishus" characters
Kanton bathtub, elektrik fens
if yu luze yer pet tiger, yu hav 1 our tu tell the guvt
Kleevland chu gum in publik
yu need a hunt lisens tu hunt a mous
Klinton leen ginst a publik bilding
Klombus not on Sundae...sell kornflakes
Lowel ride hoers...speed limit=5 MPH
Marion eet donut & walk bakward on a sitee street
North Kanton if yu wanna roller skate, yu gotta tell the kops
Oxford woman kant take off her klothes in room with a pikcher that inklude a man
Paulding legal...kop bite dog
Piqua if yu take a bath, gotta duit after 10pm
Toledo thro snake at sumwon
West union if wedded man fli, him gotta bring his wife til wed >= 1 yeer
Yungstown ride on roof av taxi
run outta gas
36. Oklahoma: not legal :
next...Oregon
bite intu sumwon elses hamberger
fish for waels
if yu hav a fish in a fishbowl, dont take it on the bus
make ugly faes at a dog
oral sex=1 yeer in jael
promote "hoers tripping"
put boots on reer legs av a farm animal
reed a komik wile yu drive [reed ensiklopeedia insted]
sex with girl < 18 is rape if shes a virjin [next time her not virgin]
singel persun kant sex
spit on sidewalk
take a bite av sumwon's hamberger
weer boots in bed
old law...kars gotta be "teethered" at publik bildings
late...as av 1 Nov 06, tattue is legal in Okla, but tattuer gotta get state lisens
half legal...bar oener must stop NE-1 hu pretend tu fuk a buffalo
all femaels must get state lisens b4 em kan du theer haer
dogs gotta get a permit if 3+ "kongregrate" on private propertee
if yu wanna hooker, yu gotta plublish yer pik on TV
yu kant hav kleenix in the bak av the kar
**** Oklahoma sitees
Ada weer Nu York Jets outfit=gotu jael
Bartelsvil If yu hav more than 2 kats=gotu jael
plae katch in street
vibrate so yu annoi
Harthahorn hipnotized person in store windo is a no-no
Klinton dont molest a kar
leen ginst bilding...yu gotta pae
Okla Sitee yu kant eet hamberger & walk bakward at same time
be drunk in a pool hall
hav a stink bomb
maer kant strike
Shulster woman gambel in the nude, or in a towel
Tulsa yu gotta get an engineer tu open a koke bottel for yu
if yu hav a elefant, stae awae from downtown
Winona yer "transportation" gotta be tied up if yer not with it
mules dont getta drink outta yer bird bath
37. Oregon: not legal :
next...Penns land
box full av shit...yu kant put it next tu a hiwae
dishes must drip-dri [I ges yu kant blo on em]
drivers gotta yeeld tu folks on sidewalks
dont let babees sit on the running bord
leev kar door open longer than it take tu go thru it
sho sumwon klassikal art if em mite get xsited
yu kant find out wot the dokter sae bout yu
yu kant gas yer kar
yu kant wisper "dirty" thangs during sex
not on Sundae...eet ies kreem
half legal...yu kant bi/sell marawana, but yu kan smoke it at home
if yu go fishing, yu kant yuze kanned korn as baet
nitwit...if yu take a bath, yu gotta weer "suitabel klothes"
defined...kuver yu from nek tu nees
**** Oregon sitees
Beeverton yu gotta get sitee permet tu hav a burglar alarm
Hood River juglers gotta get a lisens
Klamath Falls wile walking on sidewalk, not legal tu kut off snake hed with a kane
Korvallis wemen kant drink koffee after 6pm
Marion eet donut & walk bakward at same time
Mertel Beech box a kangerru
Portland wed at a skating rink
if yu plae a "soshal game", no kids getta kum in
if yu R on a sled, yu kant attach it tu a kar that pass yu
if yu walk down a street, yer shue strings gotta be tied
impli sumwon's propertee mae get "offensiv fizikal kontakt"
park a truk on a street
ride a sled attached tu a kar
weer roler skates in a bathroom
wistel underwater
half legal...if a "therofare" is "konjested" yu kan go theer max av 2 times/nite
Salem wemen kant wrasel
Springfeeld reptiles R not legal, sept guvt kan hav em
Yamill predikt fyucher
if yu leev sellar door open, kops kum & get yu
Yujeen not on Sundae: gotu muvee or a kar raes
38. Penns Land: not legal :
next...Rode Ieland
"discharj" a fire arm at a wedding
katch fish with yer hands (yu kan with yer teeth)
preest kant mary yu if man or wife is drunk
sing in bathtub (with or without water)
sleep on a fridj outside
state oen & run all liquer stores
wife must not hide dirt under rug (hav the kids duit)
yu kant yuze dinomite tu fish
not on Sundae...sell a kar
yu kant bi beer, but all bars R open
half legal...max av 16 wemen kan liv in 1 hous
men...120 in 1 hous is legit
if yu duel, yu kant be guvner
if yu see a teem av hoerses kummin tuward yu, yu gotta pull over,
kuver kar with a blanket that blend in with kuntreeside
if yu wanna bi >2 paks av beer, gotta get it at "ofishal distribushun senter"
men: if yu wanna bi alkohol, wife gotta agree in riting
yu kan fish on yer land without lisens, but tu hunt, gotta hav lisens
yu kant sell firewerks tu penners but kan tu out-av-staters
old law...if hoers wont pass yer kar, yu gotta disassembel the kar
& hide the parts in bushes
Yu gotta: kar on kuntree roed at nite gotta send up rokket evree mile & waet 10 minuts
**** Penn's land sitees
Allentown men must not get horny in publik
Bensalem krooks must not operate a bingo game
& yu kant advertize the prizes at a bingo game
Danvil Sumwon gotta chek the fire plugs 1 our b4 theer is a fire
Filladelfeea (Filly) yu kant put pretzels in a bag (made law in 1760)
Kolumbia fliing instrukter kant tikkel femael student under chin with fether duster
Millvil legal...shuet a dog
not legal...alkohol
Morrisvil woman gotta get guvt let b4 her kan put on makeup
Nutown evree outlet or switch gotta be inspekted, kost=1.33$ eech
Pitsberg legal...yu kan bring a donkey or mule wen yu get on the "trolly"
not legal...sleep on a fridj
39. Rode Ieland: not legal
next...South Dakota
bite off sumwons leg
challenj sumwon tu a duel (even if dont go thru with it)
pretend tu be a town's fens-looker
dont thro pikel juis on a "trolly"
idiots & lunatiks kant wed [that oenlee leev 2% tu karry on]
kap guns
koest downhill in a kar
put a rope kross a hiwae
raes hoerses on a hiwae
not on Sundae...werk, plae, sports, games, or hav fun
furthermore, it is yer duty tu make shuer nowon els duit
Yu R required tu prevent yer kids, servents, ets from such sinful thangs
sport teems gotta get a lisens tu plae on Sundae, polo exempt
half legal...guns R legal, kap guns R not
all windmills gotta be 25+ rods from evree roed [now weer did me leev me rod?]
yu gotta make a rude nois b4 yu pass a kar
**** Rode Ieland sitees
Nuport smoke pipe after sunset
Peesdales man offer a woman a sig
Providens weer see-thru klothes
jump off bridj
not on Sundae...yu kan sell toothbrush or toothpaste, but not both
Skituate yu kant hav beer in yer kar
West Warwik water plants on even daes
40. South Dakota: not legal :
next...South Karolina
fall asleep in a cheez faktree
sho a muvee weer kops get hit or treeted "bad"
half legal
if hoers go intu FountainInn, it gotta weer pants
if >=5 indians on yer propertee, yu kan shuet em
Speerfish legal...if 3+ indians walk down street, fire at will
Su Falls hotel rooms gotta hav 2 twin beds >=2 ft apart
41. South Karolina: not legal :
next...Tennessee
hoers in bathtub
oral sex
sho konfederat flag on korthous
tattue
half legal...
drive "motor vehikel" & approach an intersekshun,
yu gotta stop & shuet a gun tu warn hoerses yer kummin
fire a missel...yu gotta get state permit
forchun tellers gotta get state lisens
if raelroed go thru town with >=500, it kant pik up traks & leev
if raelroed skare yer hoerses, yu kan su em
if yu kill sumwon bi akseedent wile tri suiside, state mae kill yu
if yu sell NE-thang in 1/2 mile av a cherch, yu gotta sell fruit 2
plae pinball...yu gotta be 18+
U-tern gotta be >=1000 ft from neerest intersekshun
legal...beet yer wife on the korthous steps on Sundae
not on Sundae...dans hall
yu kant werk or sell NE-thang til 1:30 pm on Sundae
sell alkohol...legal in private klub, not elsweer
sell muzikal stuff
tattoo: kant get tattoo on Sundae
komplex law prohibit sum lite fixchers but let yu bi others
werk
yu gotta...evree adult mael gotta bring a gun tu cherch on Sundae
If a man promis tu wed, him gotta
**** South Karolina sitees
Charleston drive kar on King Street
fire dept kan blo up yer hous
hoerses gotta weer diapers
Fountin Inn hoerses gotta weer pants
Hilton Hed karriages gotta keep off the sidewalk
if yu hav 2 much trash in yer kar, yu kan gotu jael
Klemson apartment swim pool gotta hav lifegard after 11 pm
all bitches in heet will be tied up
banned: visshus dogs
Landkaster dans in publik
Mertel Beech pee in the water
dog on beech in summer & wile sun is up=yu gotu jael
If yu wanna chaenj klother at gas stashun, gotta get let from management
yu kant sleep on beech at nite (mid afternoon is fine)
Spartenberg eet watermelon in the graveyared
42. Tennessee: not legal :
next...Texas
bring a skunk intu the state (wunder if that inklude human skunks?)
Christian parents kant foers theer kids tu pik up trash on Eester
dare underaej kid tu bi a beer
drive wile asleep
"dum animal" is defined tu be "evree living kreechuer" [must inklude humans]
kill or krippel a femael dog
"krimes ginst naechuer"
lasso fish
ministers kant be elekted tu state kongres
oral sex
put taks on a hiwae [wot bout naels?]
sell hollo logs
steel hoers=yu hang
wed inter-raes (maby that shood be outa-raes)
half legal
if yu duel, yu kant get a state job
oenlee wild game yu kan shuet from muving kar is a wael
wemen: max av 8 in 1 hous
woman kan drive kar oenlee if a man walk in front av kar
& warn evreewon.
woman kan wed at 16, 12 if a virgin
not on Sundae: sell baloenee
legal...take & eet roedkill
**** Tennessee... not legal
Bell Bukkel thro bottel at tree
Bristo woman adjust her sox in publik
Diersberg woman kall a man for a date
Fayet Kountee: max av 5 junk kars in yer yard
Kimball Bartender gotta prevent others from make unusual nois
Lenoir at stop sine, yu gotta fire a gun out the windo tu warn hoerses
Lexington eet ier-kreem on a sidewalk
hav ies-kreen in yer pokket
spit on sidewalk
Memfis, Tenn frogs kant kroek after 11 pm
yu kant sing "it aent gonna raen no mo"
half legal
if woman drive a kar, gotta hav a man run or walk in front waving a red flag
if yu bi a pie at a eeteree, yu gotta eet it all
yu kant share it & kant take it home (or NE part av it)
if yu wanna beg on street, pae 10$ for permit first
Nashvil cheeta pet
if yu ride skooter, yu gotta go singel file
if yu rollerblade, dont tie self tu a kar
men kant get horny in publik
roller skate & hav cd plaer make yu a kriminal
thro roks
Noxvil all biz must hav a hitching post in front
43. Texas: not legal
next...Utah
drink & drive (If kop see it, yu gotu jael)
hav pliers on yu
kriminals must warn viktums 24 ours ahed (dont hafta be in riting)
& gotta tell em wot krimes him plan
milk a kow that belong tu sumwon els
sell 1 ie (dont spesifi if left or rite ie)
shuet buffalo from floor 2 av a hotel (lazy bum, go up tu floor 3)
Not on Sundae...
Yu kant bi, sell, or trade a kar on Sundae ("automobile" in krat speek)
half legal...if yu drink beer wile standing, max=3 sips
homo's kan gotu jael
if yu sae 3 times that yu R married tu x, yu R
oenlee druggist kan sell kondoms & "birth kontrol devises"
yu kan hav max av 6 dildos
nitwit...Britannika Ensiklopedia is banned
if 2 traens meet at krossing, both gotta stop
then neether traen kan go til after the other won leev & is outta site
Yu gotta: kar gotta hav windsheeld wipers, even if dont hav windsheeld
tu hold a publik offis, yu gotta beleev in god
old law: (1985: state kill law that prohibit sell hosewares on Sundae)
**** Texas sitees
Abileen flirt or mash
Austin hav wire kutters in yer pokket
Bomont banned football at the lokal yuniversity
Clarendon dust a publik bilding with fether duster
Dallas dildos gotta be fake
El Paso all publik plaeses gotta suppli nuff spittuens tu meet demand
pee in the street
weer lewd dress in publik
LeFors if yu drink beer standing, max=3 sips
Galveston let kamel run lues
not on Sundae...drive on Brodwae b4 noon
Hueston nitwit...kant bi beer after midnite Sundae, but kan bi it all dae Mondae
Kopus Kristi raes alligaters in yer hous
Mesqueet kids kant hav weerd haerkuts
Port Aurthur yu kant emmit obnoxus smells in an elevater
Richardsun hav for-sale sine on kar that kan be seed from NE publik street
U-terns
San Antone pee on the Alamo
Tempel legal..ride yer hoers in a saloon
not legal...ride yer hoers thru town square
Texarkana if yu ride a hoers at nite, it gotta hav tael lites
Waco walk with a konseeled ies-kreem kone
44. Utah: not legal :
next...Vermont
fish wile ride hoers
hav sex in ambulans wile it is on duty
hunt waels
kauz a katrastrofee
walk on kraks in sidewalk or street
xplode an a-bomb
half legal...if yu want wine with meel, yu gotta ask for wine list
if yu box, yu kant bite
max size av beer bottel = 2 liters sept for stores that sell beer
legal...birds hav rite-av-wae on hiwae
husband is tu blame for wotever wife du weer husband kan see it
Yu Gotta...drink milk
**** Utah sitees
Bar yu gotta take a bath Saturdae nite
Kaevil yu gotta sho ID tu get intu konveenyens store at nite
logan wemen kant kuss
Monroe dans kupel kant belly-bump
Provo thro snoball kost yu 50$
Salt Lake Sitee... dont walk down street with violin in paper bag
Trout kreek...drugist sell gunpowder as hedake kyuer
45. Vermont: not legal
next...Virjinya
paent a hoers
sae yu dont beleev in god
wistel underwater
half legal: if wife wanna weer fawls teeth, gotta get hubby's let in riting
yu gotta: take a bath evree week
old law...kant tie giraff tu fone pole
46. Virjinya: not legal
next...Wash DC
bathtub: yu gotta keep it in the yard, not in hous.
maby yu kan put it in the barn or outhous
oral sex
radar detekters
tikkel a woman
trik-or-treet
not legal on Sundae...(see old law)
yu kan hunt rakkuens til 2pm; kant hunt NE-thang els
half legal...
chickens gotta lae all theer aegs tween 8am & 4pm
drive: yu gotta weer shues
if a hoers gotu cherch, it gotta be <=1 yeer old
sex...gotta tern off the lites first
sex...mishunary posishun oenlee
sex...if yu want it, yu gotta be wed
yu kan bribe kanadates for offis, but not NE-1 els (1930 law)
yu gotta...honk if yu wanna pass
old law...kant on Sunsae: werk, sell peenut brittel or lettus
bi hardware
**** Virjinya sitees
Daeton Blaks gotta stae inside after 7 pm
Frederik if yu hav a pool, gotta kloes the gate: fine=2500$
Kulpeper wash mule on sidewalk
Lebanon yu kant kik wife outta bed
Norfolk if yu hunt with a rifel, yu gotta stae 15 foot abuv the ground
dont spit on seegual
pat woman on behind=60 daes in jael
half legal...aft sundown, woman gotta weer korset
[guvt had korset-inspekt job for men oenlee]
Prins William yu kant hav a pet skunk
dont park on raelroed traks
Richmond flip a koin in an eeteree
Stafford if yu beet wife on korthous steps, gotta be B4 8 pm
Viktoria skate down maen street
Virjin Beech
if several drunks in a kar, all can be charjed as drunk driver
kuss on Atlanik street
if yu ride past NE plaes on Atlantik, yu kant kum bak in next 30 minuts
ride on handels av bike
Wayensboro if woman drive on maen street, husband gotta walk in front
av kar & wave a red flag
47. Wash DC: not legal :
next...Washington
plae with baloon so it make nois
fli a kite [or NE-thang] neer the Kapital bilding
legal...Fed judj ruled begging is legal & mugging is just a more foersful form av begging
48. Washington: not legal
next...West Virjinya
brake beer bottel (or keg)
brest feed baby
lollipops
paent poka-dots on Amerikan flag
pretend yer parents R rich
shue fitter kant yuze x-raes
spit on bus
tri tu enties girls from the mapel lane skuel
half legal...
if yu hav a kold, yu dont getta be in publik
if yu wanna put vending masheen on elektrik pole, yu gotta get em tu agree
not on Sundae...bi a matress, bi meet
Yu gotta:
if yu hav "kriminal intentions", yu gotta stop at town border
& kall the boss kop b4 yu go in. (apparentlee NE town)
Old law...if yu wanna drive a kar, a man gotta walk 100 yards ahed av it
him gotta wave a red flag (dae) or karry red lite (nite)
**** Washington sitees
Auburn man fuk woman=5 yeers in jael
Bremerton krak peenuts & thro shells in the street
Everet store displae kant yuze sumwon hipnotized or pretend tu be
Linden if yu drink, yu kant dans & vise versa
if yu dont moe yer gras, sitee duit & charj yu for it
not on Sundae:wash kar, barbeque, sell alkohol
latest hot flash...nu kasino tu open in Linden in Fall 07
yu thank em will ban alkohol in kasino?
Seattel if yu karry a konseeled wepon, max length=6 ft
if woman sit on man's lap on bus, gotta hav pillo tween em or 6 months in jael
if yu wanna bern down sumwon's hous, yu gotta get oener's ok
goldfish in bowl on bus is legal oenlee if it stae quiet
Spokane kan bi radio on Sundae, KANT bi TV
Wilber ride uglee hoers, fine=300$
49. West Virjinya: not legal
next...Wiskonsin
adultree=20$ fine
duel: yu kant hold publik offis
kuss, fine=1$
make fun av sumwon...up tu 6 months in jael
nonkonstitutional tu hav a red flag or a blak flag
nonwed man & woman liv tugether & asshoseeate "luedlee", kan gotu jael
oenlee thang yu kan hav in a baby karraej is a baby
sleep on a traen
weer a hat in a theater
wistel underwater
half legal...
dokter or dentist: if wanna nok-out paeshent, gotta hav shaperoen
evree koke sold in a store, state tax=1 sent
if raelroed traks kum in 1 mile av a "kommunitee" av 100+, traen gotta stop
if yu wanna fuk a wild animal, its waet limit=50 pounds
if yu wanna gotu skuel, yer breth kant smell av wild unyuns
legal...eet roedkill
**** West Virjinya...not legal
Aldersun walk lion, even on lees
Huntington firemen dont getta flirt with NE-1 hu go bi firehous
If yu wanna beet wife, gotta duit on Korthous steps on Sundae
Nicholas Kountee...no klergy get tu tell a joke from pulpit
50. Wiskonsin: not legal :
next...Wyoming
"butter substitute" (oleo or margarin)
kamp in a wagon on a hiwae (fine=10$)
kiss on a traen
kut a woman's haer
thro roks at a raelroed kar
wave a torch around
half legal...
if 2 traens meet, gotta stop, & neether kan go till after the other 1 leev
if eeteeree sell appel pie, it gotta add cheez tuit
if store sell kondons, it gotta hide em
legal...flush toilet
livestok hav rite-av-wae
not on sundae...sell a kar
**** Wiskonsin sitees
Brookfeeld tattu not legal unless medikan order it
if yu let sumwon yuze yer fone & him make prank kall, yu get punished
Hudson yu gotta hav skreens on all windoes in the summer
If yu wanna put trash in sumwon els's kan, gotta get him tu sae ok
Kenosha be horny
Lakross tie up a hoers on street 3
if dummy in store windo, it gotta hav on klothes
plae chekkers in publik
Milwaukee if yu wanna park the kar >=2hrs, yu gotta tie a hoers tuit
if yer uglee, yu kant go out in publik wile sun is up
yu kant bi sparklers, but kan bi masheen gun
If yu walk elefant on street, gotta be on a leesh
Raseen yu kant wake a fireman, but oenlee if him be asleep
NE woman out at nite gotta hav a shaperoen
StKroix wemen kant weer red
51. Wyoming: not legal :
next...Kanada
drunk in a mine=1 yeer in jael
drunks dont getta skee
if yu dont kloes gate, fine=750$
junk deeler kant sell tu a drunk
shuet at fish
half legal...
if woman drink at a bar, her gotta stae at leest 5 ft awae
if yu wanna take a pik av a rabit in Jan-April, gotta get state let
if yu weer a hat in a theater, it kant blok the vyu av others
yu gotta: if nu bilding kost 100,000$ or more, gotta spend 1% on art
**** Wyoming...not legal
Nukastel sex inside a walk-in meet freezer
Shian (Cheyenne in krat speek) yu kant shower on Wednesdae
spit on skuel steps
52. Kanada: not legal :
next...USA
Kalgary, Albert all Biz gotta provide plaes tu tie hoers
Oshawa, Ont not legal...klimb tree
53. USA federal junk laws: not legal :
next...oversees
or korts interpret & twist it intu junk
1. biggest zampel=2,000,000 wetbaks/yeer flood kross the border from Mexiko.
2. privasee laws...medikans interpret tu meen em kant tell yu nuthan
medikans hav long histree av dont tell nuthan; now em sae the guvt make em duit
b. universities iterpret it & make rules the dont let teechers sae NE-thang
thus professer kant even sae if person x took koers y, let alone wot grade him got
3. sekshun 1211, titel 14 sae yu kant talk tu spaes alien.
mexikan alien is ok.
54. Oversees silly laws: not legal :
(internaeshunal)
1. Australia: not legal
bar: bar gotta feed & water yer hoers & put it up for the nite
ded wale...yu gotta stae >=100 meters from it
homo
kar: dont leev kees in kar wen yu get out, mite gotu jael
kids kant bi sigs but kan smoke em
"life sentens"=25 yeers
lite: yu gotta get elektrishun tu chaenj lite bulb
path: if yu walk on rite side, yu kan gotu jael
taxi: gotta hav a bale av hae in the trunk ("boot" in brit)
not on Sundae: yu dont getta weer pink pants after noon on Sundae
2. Belgium: drive in traffik...If yu wanna U-tern, yu hav rite-av-wae
sept if yu stop or slo down
3. Brits hav a law that outlaw "silly & pointless laws"
4. China...If yu hav > 1 kid, gotta pae guvt fine for eech xtra
Drive kar: if yu stop at kross-walk, fine= 5 yuan
5. Denmark
Die: if sumwon die, yu gotta tell guvt, dont=20 krowns
Eet out: if yer not full, yu dont hafta pae
em kant charj for water unless em put sumthang init (such as ies)
Kar: B4 start, yu gotta chek lites, brakes, steer, horn
Drive: gotta hav sumwon in front av kar with flag tu warn hoerses
if hoers & karreej tri tu pass yu, yu gotta pull over & stop
if sumwon under yer kar, yu dont getta start motor
yu gotta hav the hedlites on wen yu "operate" kar
Yes, that inklude all dae long
6. England... not legal
aeg: if yu brake boiled aeg at pointed end...1 dae in the stoks
all males > 14 gotta praktis with longbo 2 hrs/week
Bags: leev bag without sumwon tu watch it
pik up abandoned bag
choklut: wemen kant eet choklut on bus or subwae ("underground" in Brit)
divors
drunk in bar not legal, drunk outside is legal
dummy: if yu let boy < 10 see dummy, yu kan gotu jael
sell almost NE-thang on Sundae, but is legal tu sell karrot
& yu kan giv awae sumthang with it, such as a TV or fridj
hang a bed out the windo
if yu wanna drive kows on hiwae, gotta get kop's let
members av parliament kant weer armer in the bilding
TV: yu gotta bi a lisens tu watch TV
1845 law forbid yu tu suiside. If yu tri, em hang yu.
wen yu die, yu gotta giv all yer land tu oldest sun
Liverpool: Woman kant be topless in publik, sept if her werk
in tropikal fish store
London...all taxis gotta hav a bale av hae & a bag av oets
7. Filippines: Manila area...yu kan drive kar 1 dae in 3
Traffik is so bad, no room for kars or jeepnees
8. Finland...banned mikkey mous kauz him dont weer pants
if taxi plae muzik, it gotta pae roalitee tu oener av the rites
9. Frans:
ashtrae is defined tu be a dedlee weppon
fliing sauser...dont land in a vinyard
legal for 5 yr old tu bi drink in a bar
kommune: yu kant die unless yu oen a plot in a graveyard
kops..yu kant take a pik that inklude a kop or his kar
pig...yu kant kall yer pig "Napoleon"
Radio muzik...tween 8am & 8pm, 70+% must be French
Raelroed...yu dont getta kiss on the raelroed
10. Grees..kop kan take yer drive lisens if yer "poorly dressed" or "unbathed"
10. Hong Kong: wife kan kill cheetin husband, but oenly with "bare hands"
But NE-1 kan kill husband's luver NE-wae em kan.
11. Ireland: if yu pretend tu be a witch...1 yeer in jael
12. Israel: not legal
anamal: yu kant feed NE anamal in publik
beech: if yu bring bear tu beech, yu gotu jael
bike: gotta get guvt lisens tu ride it
pig: If em find out yu hav a pig, guvt take it & kill it
sabbath dae: yu kant pik yer nose
terists: if yu tri tu enter kuntree in "unbekumming attire",
Israe wont let yu in...yu'll hafa kamp at aerport.
13. Italy: man weer skirt=gotu jael
Venis, Italy: if yu feed the birds (pigeons), kost yu 600$
14. Jermany
drive: not legal tu run outta gas on the hiwae
evree offis gotta hav a vyu av the ski
mask...guvt wont let yu weer mask
pillo=passiv weppon
15. Mexiko: not legal
amuzement park or karnaval rides banned from downtown
art: NE-thang with a nude is banned
bike: yu gotta keep both feet on the petals at all times
boys & men gotta weer pants
firewerks: yu dont getta thro it
klerjee kant weer cherch garb in publik
kuss..."offensiv werds" R banned
nuzpaper deliver boys must weer a yuniform
taxi drivers must weer a yuniform
Guadalajara: wemen guvt werkers kant weer "provakativ" klothes
16. Norwae TV or VCR...yu gotta bi lisens tu yuze it
17. Paraguay...legal el provided both R registered blood doeners
18. Saudi Arabia...kant hav gorilla in bak seet av kar
No female kan drive NE-thang in Saudi Arabia
19. Singapore...not legal
be nude in yer hous (or apartment)
bring in a sig
bunjee jump
chu gum
homo's
if yu dont flush in publik toilet, gonna kost yu
kum in 50 meters av a kross walk
oral sex
pee in elevater
porn
sig in publik
20. South Korea...kops gotta report all bribes em get
21. Sweden Prostatutes is legal but it is not
if yu bi land, yu oenlee oen the top 0.5 meter
if yu wanna paent yer hous, gota get lisens from naeshunal guvt
22. Switz yu kant flush the jon aft 10pm
Not on Sundae: dri klothes, wash kar, moe gras
Man kant pee & stand after 10 pm
If yu leev kar kees in kar & windo open, kop kan snatch yu
23. Tiland if yu go outside, yu gotta weer underweer
drive kar=yu gotta weer shirt
thro bubbel gum on sidewalk=600$
yu dont getta stomp on theer paper munee
24. Turkee...Moslum law appli; that meen wife is a slave
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